After the last hospital

I walked out of the hospital, after a couple weeks of being fed seroquil and told that my symptoms were not being caused by the pill, but treated by it. The first person I ran into as I came out of the sliding doors of the hosptial was a hippy looking guy, sitting on the sidewalk. He asked me, "Still religous?"

I replied, "I'm Jesus Christ, what do you think?"

There were all kinds of signs that psychiatrists were never going to believe what I was going through. I spent a lot of time in therapy, and I know their limitations. Anyone treating Jesus would have to assume their patient was crazy. I was not about to be treated for something that is a religion, basically.

There was no talk therapy anyways. They were testing the Christ, not treating the patient. I am sure that some camp want me to forget who I am again. This is the only way to keep the status quo. The only way for people who know I would have a judgement against them to stay sane as I return.

I have made great allowances for how unique this situation is. However people look at me, whether spiritually or pragmatically, I kind of figured this was unprecedented to most. People expected my return in some circles, though even they were surprised. Mostly, I am ignorant of the good and bad that has been done in my name. At least that which is directly tied to me.

Would psychiatry had kept me on the same drugs, I would still be in a frantic state, living every moment like I was trapped in a myth. Why did they do this? I suspect they wanted me to look foolish. That is a fairly well known tactic. Why did they make me look good is as puzzling to me?

My memories of myself are as a man. Flawed as any. Trying and failing and trying again. I see no reason for anyone to hate me or love me for what I think. I should be an equation in a huge problem they are working on, the formula for their own view of the world. Their personally cosmology would be much less for using just me.

I am a man who feels in way over his head. What the hell do I know about trying to help this world? Nothing more than a lot of other people, it seems to me. I can be a lightening rod for an issue, little else.

Poetry is the word of God. Bob,

The man who asked if I was still religous, in the summer of 08, was the face of these events bare and honest, as they were for a brief period that the religous madness kept me from really participating in. The writing was too vital to be allowed to remain in the ether. Or so I thought.

I do not want to think that there is a cult of personality out there that would expect me to their God. When this happened for awhile, I had to shut that down. People find their own salvation. No one is ever going to give it to you, though many will try to sell it...

If I were to come to earth and just declare, okay, Christianity is the correct religion... and anyone who doesn't like that has a war on their hands with the Son of God? The world would have burned itself down into cinders and mushroom clouds.

Bettter I just tell the story of a Christ who has been reincarnating as all sorts of beings, including prophets and jesters, seeing all the various sides of humanity. Better I never start a church, get a follower, build anythng more substantial than the relationship of a writer to their reader. Just know, though... My religion is here to stay, inside my quiet heart. I AM here to stay.

You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com, or http://thereligiouspsychokillersshitlist.blogspot.com

Google John Scott Ridgway for other works.