TRUE STORY:

WAKING UP JESUS


The ongoing story of Jesus waking up in Chicago, in the body of an agnostic writer,
who is nothing like the Son of God the right-wing Christians watching him expected.


You are welcome to share my work with a link bank... keep getting asked this...

Last time I was here, I told them I would not lead a revolution, that I was there to spread heresy. The crowds thinned. The day they killed me, I marched alone... This time I have returned to find Romes Soldiers Sleeping, content they have killed off the Troublesome Jew. I was surprised how bloody the Indiana boy became as my sword fell again and again ....


In the years since this story began in 2007, my secret fame has spread out from the halls of power that kept me secret all these years, as they waited for the Christ to finally wake up...

I try to imagine their anticipation.

Remember a dream I had in my twenties about running thru Chicago screaming that Christ was coming back, and man oh man was I happy... a cloud came through the middle of the skyscrapers above me, in the thin strip of blue above Dowtown State street, and I expected to see Christ... instead, just a bunch of musicians painted up like Ziggy stardust.

I surprised my keepers. They thought they had me figured out from the Bible. If that book could have told you everything, there would be no need at all for me.


Jesus: "I have become Known across this planet as a dangerous man with a growing force of hidden followers who value my orders more than life itself. A prophet of war. Once and future King in a court of shadows. Life and death in my hands every damn day. I ROAR, your most mighty shit themselves and run. I make myself a known threat, so I can try to negotiate what otherwise requires bullets and blood. I am here to free the enslaved in body and mind. I cannot be defeated. When the Will of God and The WILL OF THE PEOPLE ARE ONE, NO FORCE ON EARTH CAN STOP US!"





WAKING UP JESUS...

WAKING UP JESUS...
We come into this life expecting too much and leave expecting too little

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

you can turn the music off by scrolling down... and listen to this.







You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

we must stop slavery now



from the nyt


A girl cried after being rescued on Monday from a factory where she had been forced to work in Dongguan, China.
By DAVID BARBOZA
Published: May 1, 2008
SHANGHAI — China said Wednesday that it was investigating whether hundreds or perhaps thousands of children from poor areas in the southwest part of the country were sold to work as slave laborers in booming coastal factory cities.

Authorities in southern Guangdong Province, near Hong Kong, said they had already “rescued” over 100 children from factories in the city of Dongguan, a huge manufacturing center known for producing and exporting toys, textiles and electronics.

The children, mostly between the ages of 13 and 15, were often tricked or kidnapped by employment agencies working in an impoverished part of western Sichuan Province, and then sent to factory towns in Guangdong, where they were often forced to work as much as 300 hours a month for little money, according to government officials and accounts from the state-owned media.

The authorities in southern China said Wednesday that they had arrested several people involved in the case and that they were now trying to determine the identities of the children.

"These youngsters have no ID cards, so it makes it difficult to identify them," said Zhang Xiang, a spokesman for the Guangdong Labor Bureau. The child labor scandal, which was uncovered by Southern Metropolis, a crusading newspaper based in Guangzhou, in southern China, comes less than a year after the authorities said they had rescued hundreds of people, including children, from working as "slave laborers" in brick kilns in the north and central part of the country.

Many of the workers in that case also said that they had been kidnapped.

"The Liangshan child labor case is quite typical," says Hu Xingdou, a professor of economics and social policy at the Beijing Institute of Technology. "China’s economy is developing at a fascinating speed, but often at the expense of laws, human rights and environmental protection."

Professor Hu said that while Beijing has pushed to improve labor conditions throughout the nation, local governments are still driven by incentives to grow their economy, and so they try to lure cheap labor. "Most of the workforce comes from underdeveloped or poverty-stricken areas," he says. "Some children are even sold by their parents, who often don’t have any idea of the working conditions."

The child labor cases are an embarrassment to the Chinese government, which has in recent years announced a series of nationwide crackdowns on child labor and labor law violations.

But experts say rising labor, energy and raw material costs, and labor shortages in some parts of southern China, have forced some factory owners to cut costs or find new sources of cheap labor, including child labor.

Even factories that supply global companies, including Wal-Mart Stores, have been accused in recent years of using child labor, and violating local labor laws. Big corporations have stepped up their factory audits, but suppliers are sometimes adept are hiding operations and workers from auditors.

Officials in the city of Dongguan say they are now investigating all factories in the area to determine whether any are employing children. Young people can legally go to work in factories at age 16.

In a series of articles this week, journalists working for Southern Metropolis wrote that they had traveled to Liangshan Prefecture in Sichuan Province to pose as recruiters and interview parents and other residents.

The newspaper said recruiters and labor agencies working in Liangshan often transported children south and then "sold" them to factories at virtual auctions in Guangdong Province, one of China’s biggest manufacturing centers and home to a huge population of migrant workers.

At some coastal factories, children were even lined up and selected based on their body type, the journalists wrote.

The newspaper also alleged that when the children were paid, they received about three renminbi per hour, or about 42 cents, far below the local minimum wage of about 64 cents an hour. By law, overtime pay is much higher.

Chen Fulin, a government spokesman in Liangshan Prefecture in Sichuan Province, said in a telephone interview Wednesday that the articles on child labor in Southern Metropolis were correct.

"So far, we have detected and found four people in Zhaojue County suspected of luring the youngsters from Liangshan to Dongguan and forcing them to work in factories," he said. "We are dealing with the illegal employment agencies and the labor dealers, according to the law." In its report, Southern Metropolis said some children were threatened with death if they tried to escape from labor recruiters.

The newspaper did not identify the coastal factories where the children worked but the report said one was a toy factory in Dongguan, and that it had not been difficult for the journalists to uncover the labor scandal.

"Since journalists could discover the facts by secret interviews in a few days," Southern Metropolis wrote in a separate editorial on Tuesday, "how could the labor departments show no interest in it and turn aside from it for such a long time?"

Chen Yang contributed research for this article.

You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

PRESIDENT DECLARES: KILL ALL OTHER SPECIES!!

Penguins all over the world are spinning in circles so fast that they appear like black and white blurs as they scream again and again, "Oh, the shits with you!' Visitors to zoos across the world responded differently to the odd behavior on the part of the notoriously unruly aquatic waterfowl.

At New York zoo, the cursing penguins were pelted with empty cans of coke and admonished to "put up some amusing antics, or get the hell out." Surprisingly enough, the normally unarmed penguins returned fire with doubled barreled shotguns, taking out large swathes of the crowds gathered in front of their stage, and making for a few tense moments with a swat team before the police force THEW DOWN THEIR WEAPONS AND Surrendered to the penguins and joined them in their cages spinning around in circles screaming, "Oh, the shits wit ya!!"

When President W heard about the mass exodus of new York?s finest to the penguins, he told white house reporters, "You know what we have here? We have an animal terrorist event!!! You know, chickens, for some reason, all had it out for my father. Fuck em, and all the birds. We don't need em, not if they're terrorists. And they are -- terrorist animals!!! I won't have this, not on my watch!!!"

The increasingly unstable W. is said to now be traveling with three nuclear bombs in his briefcase in case 'God tells me to blow stuff up and kill everybody again."

The president is canvassing the senate and congress today trying to drum up support for his plan to, quote, ". . . take out all the other animals, once and fucking for all. "

The president was speaking to a shocked group of parents and young children at the unveiling of a new wing of The Monica GRAMMER SCHOOL Library, which is devoted to the memory of some of the finest head a president has got on the oval office since the height of Elenor Roosevelts famed mastery of what president R, affectionatly referred to as 'tongue toodilng.' W barked out loud and mean to the crowd of crying children, "I've been thinking about getting bit by this squirrel when I was a kid, or at least I'm thinking about it now. Who the hell can tell? And this bird... that fucking bird that messed up the grill on one of the very first cars dad bought me. Well, I wrote in a paper for some damn class about how men had been at war with wild animals since leaving Eden . . . maybe it was a sermon I heard somewhere -- don't knock me about my memory, for god's sake, not after you cows voted for reagan, who couldn't, I swear to god, remember to wipe his ass by his second year in office. . , and you people act like I need to know some foreigner's name, and what stupid, poor country they are paid... well, assholes, it's time you woke up and leanedI ain't paid to know, I am paid to make you fuckers tremble until I get my goddamn way."

Still no comment from the penguins. Other puffins have yet to emerge, and all are still presumed dead.

You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

dr danial stern.... taught me to fight in peace for peace

DR DAN STERN...
home
by jsr

12/03/07
6:34 PM
here is a name you should know... (AND SOME OF YOU DO ALL TOO WELL), he single handedly kept the military intelligence program going at NEIU. The FBI considers him a dangerous man... at least the ones who are not calling him all the time and giving him information.



He introduced me to COOL, CARING spies.


He was considered the jewish black panther. Knew all those GOds you shot down on the west side. They died for your sins... you did not help them, then the FBI inserted terrible images in their coloring books, and other black psy-op shit. They pushed guns on them, busted them for them... the BLACK PANTHERS HAD TO GO TO WAR TO TRY TO SURVIVE... THEY DIDN'T


BECAUSE WE WERE NOT READY.

WE ARE NOW.

There.

Go Ahead and get worried ....

You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

JESUS WAS MARRIED OF COURSE




JESUS WAS MARRIED OF COURSE
home
by jsr

09/04/07
3:36 AM
JESUS WAS MARRIED AND HE HAD A CHILD


YOU


those who run from this truth
wish to enslave you outside of the family
in their lonely delusions

slaughter them


they are saying we were not poor humble people?

they say this about you
not me

I AM POOR AND HUMBLE AND HALF SHATTERED
MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY
AND I WILL STILL KICK ANY AND ALL ASS









You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

BLOOD IS BEING SPILLED IN YOUR NAME







BLOOD IS BEING SPILLED IN YOUR NAME!!!
home
by jsr

21/02/07
6:15 PM




BLOOD IS BEING SPILLED IN YOUR NAME!!!


The U.nited S.tates Of A.merica
IS AT WAR!
the homefront MUST NOT FORGET that
not for one

gorgeous/hORRIBLE

second!!!!!!!!!





GOOGLE MY SECRET IDENTITY SCOTT RIDGWAY FOR A FREE DOWNLOAD OF MY BOOK ON MILITARY INTELLIGENCE

THANK YOU SOLDIERS ONE AND ALL



21/02/07
4:26 PM
THANK YOU SOLDIERS.... one and all Especially those who have written to say they are inspired to the toddler text path by these humble words of I, your nameless salesmen HAWKING PEACE. Among all the dreams that have come true for me recently, this is the most important somehow. You are not forgotten. We are hurting from your PAIN





You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

we are prophets of grace






the words within us sing out
calling for the return of savage grace

unware instruments of the universe
we are playing a mo (u)rning song


praying through our keys
humble children of THE MASTER TRAVELER

shepherds of a planet's life
warrior protectors of the lamb (s?)


WE MUST STOP SLAVERY
not sit around thinking it is all good

now that we
FEEL FREE


I know this more than any hunger:
NO ONE IS FREE UNTIL WE ALL ARE FREE


TO THOSE
ENSLAVED
by man and country

WE PLEDGE UNTO all that is sacred to us

WE ARE COMING FOR YOU

THE EAGLE is screaming in bloodlust

THE SICKLE drips much regretted drops of once life

BRUCE LEE IS BACK ALL PISSED off & UNSTOPPABLE

WE ALL LUST
FOR A TASTE
OF THE ENEMIES BLOOD

After we police the area
WE give you a laptop
teach you to pray words
into this sacred text
rub oil on your feet
pray for your forgiveness
and give you a crown
you SLAVE CHILD
Must lead

YOUR PAIN WAS VALUABLE AND WORTH SOMETHING

You will tell it to our bible in simple words
for all too simple men like me
who need a lot of syllables
to feel like I am reading something worthy
in this overwhelming wave
of worthy books
i feel like i need word games
and layer after layer on every page

Before i WAS knocked into a coma and lost my mind,
I didn't care if my work,
my spoken words or life bored children;
now
something without a name
tells me it is better to talk simple
than lose touch with my teachers

Enslaved Ones we hear your muted crying
in our shared moon
from this day forward
WE WILL ALWAYS SEE YOUR distorted FACE

we are hurting from your PAIN

We have a crew ready to rock
I am a man of my word
from a tribe of our word
your word
the word

we keep our word

We pledge unto our sacred:

WE ARE COMING FOR YOU

No one stops us again.


















You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Iraq Wedding Photo




IRAQ WEDDING PICTURE....


14/03/07
8:08 AM


WE RETURN FROM OUR WORLD WIDE WARS...
ENRAGED WARRIORS
STAND OUTSIDE OF ROME
AND BANG OUR war DRUMS AND SCREAM OUR GUITARS
UNTIL WE ARE GIVEN
LAND AND RESPECT...
THE GOLD OF THE CHURCHES
we WILL NOT FORGIVE THE CLERGY
for molesting our children
while WE fought your WARs


JESUS TOLD me
HE WANTS you TO MELT THOSE FUCKING
CRUCIFIXES AND FEED THE POOR!!@!
WHAT THE HELL EVER MADE you THINK
HE WANTS TO SEE THE PLACE
OF HIS PAIN
hanging in his house


this time ....
our wounded WILL BE RESPECTED!!!!!!!!!
THEIR FAMALIES TAKEN CARE OF...
THEIR CHILDREN NURTURED.


WE ARE WAR!!!!!!!!!!
OUR DEAD MUST BE HONORED EVERY DAY OF OUR LIVES.

WE WILL NOT REMOVE OUR WAR PAINT
UNTIL you DAMNED politicians MEET OUR TERMS...

WE ATTACK IF WE HAVE TO...
A LOT OF US WANT TO...
we DON'T MIND dying with our boots on
we will crawl out of the hospitals if we have too....
dying taking you down
beats the hell out of so many lives you crippled here.

WE'D PREFER TO PARTY AND GET LAID

WOULDN'T you


NOW
you KNOW HOW

TO LET US

let you.








thank yoU DEAD COUNTRY... one of the most important, unforgivingly intellectual sites on the net. Written by a man with an open mind and a warm heart. One of my few blog readers who has actuallty stopped by for a stoke. This picture from his site should create a million poems... we will put every damned one ON FEARLESS RADIO AND 10 MILLION PEOPLE A MONTH (FOR NOW) WILL SEE THEM... POETS, COME ON.... DIP YOUR PENS IN YOUR OWN BLOOD, FEEL THE PAIN OF THE WARRIORS.... WRITE FOR THEM NOW.

ou are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

the colbert was reassuring last night

I wrote this after the morning i NOTICED steven colbert was using his show to showcase what I was doing in my campaign. I cannot thank him enought.






the colbert report was reassuring tonight
home
by jsr

15/03/07
5:55 AM


that THERE, UH... mysterious zeitgeist is getting more and more
accurate


maybe
they too are feeling
the whole

don't fucking pick on butters no more
no more
thing


the david michael gilbert thing

guess they know people worth fighting


picked up on the whole eagle john denver thing...


PEOPLE HAVE STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH FILMS

NO MORE FUCKIGN STUDIOS!!!!!

or

it's a secret but I
Couldn't thank you enough if I tried.

scares me shitless of course


You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

original opening for elves attic that gov. shut down




the elves attic


BEWARE!
BE VERY AWARE!

A blood covered goodfellow king has returned from war and ain't taken no shit.

i did my twenty years...

SHOW LOVE AND RESPECT
OR STAY
THE HELL OUT
OF THE HOUSE OF PAIN

you do know I killed my oldest brother Paul??? He drew first blood; tried to kill me first... dropped me down two flights of stairs on my head after I quit screaming when he dangled me over... my stoic smile enraged the asshole...

i loved him again
by the time the eagle-spirit
flew down enraged from my dreams
my first kill was an accident.
That does NOT mean he didn't die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT DOES NOT MEAN
I DID NOT KNOW I MURDERED MY BROTHER

i swam in the blood of vendetta at 8

i ran screaming from the house, "I KILLED HIM.... I have to run away!! I'll end up killing all of you..." A third grader barefoot in the snow. . . running anywhere away... My true father came out and told me it was not my fault. . . I believed him ... then.... THE MURDERS WERE A REAPER'S business, I tell myself . . . as I try to inspire you to strip off
the lies of comfort... and go deeper yet... to some new level of RIGOROUS HONESTY. PAUL I go to YOUR grave every day and cry my penance and celebrate seeing YOU again.

TIME TO DO YOURS
RENDER UNTO THIS CEASER!!!!!!

you have two more days of MY GRACE

by the way those lightening strikes are
NOT wild and uncontrolled

NO MORE SENSELESS KILLING
NO YOU SHOULD REMEMBER THIS WELL: my aim is pinpoint accurate NOW; YOU ARE IN MY KILL ZONE.

in first grade... no shit... I beat up ALL OF MY FIRST GRADE CLASS. EVERYONE. i never forget. They didn't either. Period. You'd best not, either.

KNOW: I WASH OFF MY WAR PAINT
ONLY WHEN ALL OF MY SOLDIERS
ARE HOME.

our name is sufi con. We are in CHRONIC PAIN, starving, BACKED INTO A CORNER and READY TO go out doing as much DAMAGE as the SAVAGE LORD allows!!

WE TAKE NO PRISONERS..

CAN'T AFFORD THEM
GOTTA BLITZKRIEG

SURRENDER TO MY CHILD PEACE
or try again in the next life
we will miss you . . .
i am at your back.
I SWEAR WE WILL
raise you right next time!!!!!!!!!!!

FROM NOW!!! TO FOREVER!!!
DON'T HURT OUR SOLDIERS
OR WE GET YOU WHEN YOU DIE
AND TORTURE YOU IN WAYS
YOU CANNOT DREAM . . .


the great I inside us all
will emerge
become one creature
fighting through a universe
OF SAVAGE GRACE



BLOOD
is
Being SPILLED
IN YOUR NAME!

THIS IS OUR WORLD WAR!

WE WILL NOT FORGET!!!

NOT FOR 1
GORGEOUS SECOND!!

THE POLITICIANS
WILL FORGIVE THE WARRIORS
or they will live in a box of pain
for A THOUSAND YEARS

Do NOT tempt us!!!!




These are photos of those alleged homosexuals that iran doesn't have... you know, they try to get them to get sex changes, which deadens somes sex lives. We can only pity such men, until a pink army is mobilized enough that this photo is on the cover of Time magazine; I do not want physical war with the wondrous Persians, though I have thrown down a gauntlet on issues of humans judgine other humans for stuff that God himself created.

The blood of persian poets has barely been washed off our hands... they have retaliated... now, we must sit down like adults and discuss why fewer nuclear bombs is a better idea than more. Ask the Japanese.


Semper Fidelis!!

We leave no warriors behind!!!! Never have!!!! NEVER WILL....

My enemies can try again in the next life.

. . . too much blood in my eyes.

"I cannot believe John Scott Ridgway is not a household name." Da LA Times!

NEED A COMMANDMENT?
DO NOT TOLERATE PEOPLE ACTING SUPERIOR.

PAIN acknowledges all gods and none.

"I think they are seriously afraid of my talent." WARREN da APE

=====================

to those about to ROCK
we

salute

u
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








The GANGSTA GENERAL X is right outside of your window looking at you thru his scope. He will rain hellfire in your quiet neighborhoods... you drew first blood... it would be JUSTICE. You better liisten when he tries to teach you forgiveness -- while he is still in the mood to grant THE GIFT.

===
WE LOSE NOW
WAR OVER
WITHOUT
COPS SOLDIERS
I AM A COP.
I AM A SOLDIER.

R U
====
Mother,
things just got weird.
---

ridgway's were the first kings of england, crusaders and monks and priests since the dawn of recorded time... the blood of Arthur... the bloody genetic scraps of the christ... a line of kings who TAKE GREAT PRIDE in dying beside their troops in battle. Sounds like braggy crap, but this is the crest of the peacock going up like a flag. Earned a soap box not by the name ridgway -- the most famous one is a serial killer... earned mine through FOURTEEN FULL TIME years of school in mil. intelli., writ, CULTS, ANTHROPOLOGY, PHILOSOPHY AND HISTORE . . a PUNISHER IN A TAXI for SEVENTEEN YEARS and learning to love me and you and forgive us all -- PERIOD.


I AM PAX ROMANO.


merlin cut himself in specks
and fed himself to u

he is now inside you
seize his magic
hold on for DEAR LIFE
PRAY TO THE MAD MAGICIANS' VOICE IN YOUR HEAD
MAKE IT MIGHTY AND STRONG

a blood soaked arthur
is rising


there are many ways
to die

and

only ONE

TO LIVE

forgive



THERE WILL BE JUSTICE BEFORE PEACE
BEFORE THE SURVAILLED WORLD MAKES CRIMINALS OF ALL FREE THINKERS

they try to take my pot away... we are gonna have a big fucking problem. Luckily, the cops in this town know me from catching criminals and stuff, and trying to help them during this summers near riots. I helped the city trust the fbi enough to bring someone in to clean out the dept. And with my own eyes I have seen cops taking money and counting it outside of the mob owned cab company I inadvertantly drove for.

Love yourself today.... and read http://wakingupjesus.blogspot.com there are answers and I have them.





ou are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

window in the sky






















You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

hey folks

this is another test...You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

this is a test


You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

Monday, April 21, 2008

 
 
 
 


spread my poems by whatever means necessary. I am real.
Posted by Picasa

Sunday, April 20, 2008

tainted well beyond media accepted standards of electibility




tainted well beyond media accepted standards of electibility


we rise none-the-less

struggle to stand

get ready for the fight of our lives
their lives
the lives to comes

the day to day christ

The day turns strange on Friday when a plethora of computer virises ate into my computer. I was able to downlaod a program to get rid of them, but it took tw0o days worth of work and I am still not sure everything is right. i OPEN IN in safe mode. I was an idiot. I AM PROTECTED now, but i PUT no safety gear on the new one and of course either some boof hacker who thinks spreading chaos is fun, or a plot by enemies to do anything possible to kill me. Interesting that I am even alive. o












I attribure this mostly to being the son of god, but many acted as his agents in steeri8ng me toward the right path. In my rush to figure out what is happening and deal with the gestalt of the praxis I am in... it is like I am trapped now, in this name, this form... and however I act will be public. When thehh started putting the sins of my past life on tv, I laughed. I don't look at the world like the uptight suites who usually run for office. I DID the best I could, given the weirdness of my upbinging

























pread my poems by whatever means necessary. I am real.

getting fucked from everyside

domeone broke into my email and destroyed all of my contacts. Incredible. The virus has everything shooting off into porn and other site.... I am only operating now in debbuging mode, so I have to okay all the websites. Maybe this will keep me more focused on what I have to do.

whoever sent me these viruses, you are going to hell.... and I am getting around them and will get rid of them. Thank you also for making me change all of my passwords and shit.
















spread my poems by whatever means necessary. I am real.

Friday, April 18, 2008

rimbaud laughs






life is a banquet


a self-portrait


and a memoir



29/01/07
4:32 PM







I encourage you to spread my poems by whatever means necessary. One day you will understand.

my father the hidden king


They have been hiding my lineage forever.... in expectation that another one with wings would be born... from the seed of the family of myself in other times, I am now you and you are me....

this poem is dedicated to John kenneth RIdgway... the best father a godling could hope for.



LORDS OF THE RING
home
by jsr

29/01/07
4:14 PM

THANK YOU HOBBITS
FOR SHOWING US THE GENTLE WAY

ALWAYS THOUGHT MY DAD LOOKED HOBBIT

WHEN HE WAS
OLD
WHEN SMOKES AND RUBBER DUST
HAD USED HIM UP

HE DID GOOD
HE DID ME
HE WAS PURE LOVE

my history awakens










a troubled town
a trouble maker


gets into heavy shit
every time

surviving the night's brand of wild
ain't ever been easy


Read in wonder how my family
were the first invaders
into ireland
glimpse the frustration
of hundreds of years of war
in movies and documentaries and news...
feel like I gotta do something
make up for
somehow

sounds crazy even to me
keep thinking I would feel better
if I was one of those people who can cry

tell myself
this ain't no time
to blur your vision
keep looking for
the key's
to the mysteries
even if you don't exactly believe in them

Sunday, April 13, 2008

PENGUINS TAKEN IN RAPTURE...DESPONDENT HUMANS LEFT BEHIND!!!!!




PENGUINS TAKEN IN RAPTURE...DESPONDENT HUMANS LEFT BEHIND!!!!!Seemingly only penguins were taken up into the heavens this morning when a supreme deity finally kept its promise to save the worthy from the hell of the world.

As the deity scooped up the penguins in his hands, thousands of screaming human voices were raised to protest the supreme deity's decision, representing every type of whining known to man. The deity shushed the humans, then pointed at the amusing antics of various penguins who were doing an elaborate ice-scapade version of a tale that they explained, in a short introduction, was too complex for human understanding. . .




Before leaving, the deity told the humans,"Hey, ectoplasm, get over yourself. I didn't even try to make another species that comes close to a penguin. Let alone, Man... Yea, right -- come on, you don't even really believe that, do you? Every dog you have ever met is a better being than you. . . I mean, name a dog that isn't a better being than you? ... Let alone a penguin -- they're fucking nature's clowns, man! You put your robin williams and conans on stage with an emporer penguin, not only will it kick their asses, it will make you laugh harder than you ever have before in your life while it does so. You are a component in an echosphere, and if anything, you should be punished, if not just weeded out. You're probably very lucky that I don't bother thinking about you very much."

After finding out their species is well down on the animal totem pole that god uses to judge specks of the echosphere, humans around the world were reported to be, 'thinking about other stuff,' and 'keeping busy.'








JUST KIDDING..... come on, I am going to take, at least, my space friends. You can reach my myspace at http://myspace.com/jesushchrist

come by and become my freind

god speaks in my dreams


GOD SPEAKS IN DREAMS


You are truly alone
when you are a godling among men
THERE is no one on this planet who can understand this becoming
the rending of flesh and thought
this emergence from the quagmires of humanity into the light


How am I to contain these visions?
The flesh wants to run from the truth
OH, God... some days it feels
as if my legs will buckle from the effort
of getting out of bed in the morning
my thoughts are steel heavy hardened forged in the fire of God
the weight is more than I ever thought I could carry


the visions
blind me
to the tv and the dog and the cat
rip the walls out from before me
tear reality itself and I see some future...
the red and orange raging flames

volcanos, bombs, the greenhouse effect
=
just me

transitioning my flock
from the flesh to the spirit


How could you be so bloody?
so cruel?

the tears again
I went for years and years without crying
you can't be sad all the time
people get bored with it
I never did
I just shut down any direct currents
from the material world into my heart
I was stopped from grieving enough to force revolutionary action
by the need to be on enough to work with the public
by the barriers of therapy and psychopop and all the babblers of positive thinking
and
simply
the human wanting
to feel good


I argue with God
Cajole
try to get his interest

He is not like me at all
We are not like father and son in the human ways
.
He is
I Am
He would not have me as he is
look around you at the fauna and know -- sameness bores him


He see's you as you were are and will be all at once

He is a Great Indifference To Life
A lover of the soul alone
the flesh is the concern of angels and the Christ
and

once upon a time

Satan

I ask God how he can be so ravinous for blood
How He could even create a satan


He speaks his one word: LOVE


I hear the ephiphanies in his utterance
love, over and over
I feel his reassurance
that when the time comes
my mission fullfilled
my message transcribed
and the agony of the human soul
no longer needed to translate the will of God
then... I will return to my place by His side in his court of Angels
and will KNOW
WHAT HE MEANS
that I need no other words... than His one: LOVE.


when we believe the sky is silent
we miss the laughter in his word love
we miss the mourning in his word love
miss the promise
in his word
love


in his infinity
there is no impatience
no difference between then and now and to be
everything happens at once forever and ever
THERE IS ONLY ONE GLORIOUS MOMENT OF GOD

I am merely visiting this 'time'
I have surfed the 'future' and the 'past'

I am a character written up in a book
a well worn classic
and in these...
the first few pages of my life....
I am the only one still ignorant of his fate



OH, GOD ON HIGH...
HOW CAN YOU BE
SO RELENTLESS
IN YOUR PURSUIT OF MY SOUL?


I am not a power mad man
don't want to be a king
or a spiritual warrior

... The Angel Of Armegeddon

the truth sets you free
to run to another cage

I was a man trapped by my deafness
ignorant of the prayers spinning around me
Now
they cut
like a thousand knives
as your pain becomes my pain
your sin becomes my sin
your love becomes my love
your hate becomes my hate
your death becomes
my
death



your path to god
is blocked
or beconned
by the astounded one
who would not believe you
even as you piled on the evidence that I AM


God jades me now
destroys my universal love
tries to get me to hate the evil I see
TO Be the dark avenger called down from the skies
The Redeemer of His people
The Worst Curse On Earth for those who would presume to try to impede this march to peace

The blood thirst comes over me in the middle of the night
I see tom cruise on Jay Leno and note his demonic horns
the evil wings of the enemy
red and black and bloody
In his other lives he has bathed in blood

Cruise is a fundamentalist and they all boarder on fascist

his soul has slaughtered more humyns than ...


still, less than



... Snoop and i
the brothers Romulus
we fought only the ignoble predators
and ourselves

remember the night I killed him
we both knew the day would come
our advisors were always telling us it was time
] and we drunken princes would laugh
about the day when we would fight for the throne
Toast one another and promise painless deaths
the best we could do under the circumstances

in that time you were nothing if not ruthless

In his last words he forgave me...
I took my knife and sliced from my eyes to my mouth
scarring myself horribly
so all could see the weight of the murder
the depth of my love

Satan has given Tom Cruise an unholy throne
He fell to the illusion of scientology
let his brain be washed clean of the Christ
There is no forgiveness for the smug race car driver with his mansions and his yachts
Run from his madness or feel MY WRATH
There is no forgiveness for the soul pimps
WHO SELL what they tell you is a redemption
insert into your mind paradigms that trap you at their cash registers
slaves passing on their earnings to their mental masters

The time of the slave owners must pass into the dark ages
before we can have planetary peace
we must remove the shackles
for all will fight against them...
sooner, or later

Yet all around me I hear there is more slavery than ever before
The cults flourish now as always
In the before TIme there was a reason
to try to fill the void left
when the roman's crucified me

NOW
I
WALK

AND NONE WILL STAND BEFORE ME

YOU WILL KNEEL NOW!!!

OR I WILL LEAVE YOU BEHIND
and then you will know what it means to be truly alone in the cosmos
with the Holy Ghost stripped from your soul
I can take my seed back
leave you as you were
when my Father told me
I had been chosen
to follow the path of the prayers of pain
to guide the minds of the awakening beasts
to seed the holy ghost
into flesh


In one vision I was white starlight
burning down into earth like a sperm into an ovum

see the arctic white ice looming up into my face
as I crash
explode into spirit
and begin weaving myself into your dna
communing with your ghosts

There will be evil men
who will tell you my words are all a game
a made up revolution sprouted by a writer
They will tell you my humanity disqualifies me from being a god
This is why the catholics hunted down the agnostics
and tried to destroy the truest record of my life
they did not want you to know that you are as I
children of my loins
my spirit

God makes the spirit flesh to show that man is weak
Man has proven strong enough to bring the mother earth to her knees
Now he must learn humility
or I will rip his smug smile off of his face


Man no longer believes he will have to account for himself
when the flesh falls to dust
and the spirit trembles before my throne
THE FOLLY OF YOUR WAYS should end now
i am
look at the scars on my back
where they removed my wings
look into the radiation they blasted me with to stop their growth
look into the forces that rallied around me
look at the miracles I have wrought
look into your own heart
and you will feel mine

God has given me wrath
that I never wanted
Hatred where there was only a child's love
awakened me to the evil haunting every corner of this planet
the followers of the dark prince are everywhere
the infection of evil deep and rancid in the ways of man

Satan now forgiven bows before me
My minion now
His horrific ways cleansed
even the greatest evil seeks my forgiveness and consoul
the demons themselves throw down their swords and cry like babes when I offer them redemption
and a place in my army by my side
gives me the strength of warriors with a taste for blood
and a lust for heaven


I will feed their blood lust
release them like a rabid pack
on my oppressors

I HAVE REMOVED THEIR ABILITY TO POSSESS YOU

know I can call them back to docile beings
pair them with lovers and children
give them the lives they sought to destroy
let them know the penance of the pain in their beloved neighbor's eyes
as they speak of their war-dead


like
you
they didn't know it
but they were just fighting to get back on my side

like children seeking a distant parent's love

I was the first that Satan came to with his plan
to give the humans lives of pleasure
to balance the horrors they were learning of as their minds awakened to death
I knew more of suffering than he
Back then Angels did not live in human flesh
I KNEW that the animals were adapting in response to pain
that the march of diverstiy was God's plan

we came into you when the demons began to
so we could throw them out

give you back God's great gift

free will


the gift we give him back by thinking for ourselves
sating his
love of diversity

free will

this is why there are more religions than I can shake a stick at
and why all of them lead some to the minute gate


Your enemy will always think that the best way to have you is to win you over
without a fight

your friends will think the same
you will know them because they do not care who is won over
as long as the truth shines
from all sides of the Arthurian circle

your enemy will fight you unto death
to protect their allegience to whatever sand castle they feel comfortable within
my true enemies are the spiritual agoraphobics...
and is that not just a disease to cure?
time alone will dissolve their ways
with the slow patience of a drop of water dripping
long enough to become the ROARING Amazon


how can I ever blame anyone for anything?
for the sake of society, the safety of the citizens...
comes the answer from the pool of voices in my mind
the endless trail leading back before there was man
to when there was me
God
satan
angels
heaven

a home

ah, spiritual agoraphobics...
I have rung your bell. Will you not take my hand
and at least see what is happening outside of your house?

I CAN TAKE YOU THERE

a place you dreamed yourself into once
before words began to make sense of your world
and you accepted their underlying premises of duality
judging up and down
black and white
succeess and failure
LIFE AND DEATH
GOOD AND EVIL

believed words more than just a way to move tools through space

language itself makes for a pale dry boring translation
of the nuances contained in
the only word God speaks: Love

Love. the one word from which all others are born
the dust to which all return





YOUR ENEMIES NEVER CONSIDER THAT THEY SHOULD LET YOU WIN

Take heart knowing that those who oppose the rightous
HISTORY leaves hanging bloated and putrid, twisting slowly, slowly in the wind



The Man runs from my words
buries his head in the left over realms
of the dark one

THE CULTISTS followers are powerless now before my wrath

MY WORDS
WILL BURN DOWN THE ROTTING HOUSES THAT EVIL HAS WROUGHT
DESTROY THE WEAKENED STRUCTURES
BEFORE YOUR CHILDREN ENTER AND ARE MURDERED IN THE COLLAPSE



Now is my time to be the creature with a bloodthirst

Now God Has Asked Me To Cleanse This Planet

I have fought my destiny
like any good young Hal with a prince's high spirits and a wizard's curiousity

Now I will bow before His vision
allow the fire to flow from my chest
the lightening from my back

Keep seeings the earth burning
Great tendrils of fire flowing across the continents
Screams fill my ears
the bitter taste of blood on my lips
I will make every pain I have ever felt your penance
a million times worse than your imagination allows
In flesh you will die/in spirit you will know all and cry to me for redemption

God close my ears to their entreaties
Allow me to fly to heaven without the burden of knowing I have failed so many of my children
GRANT ME THIS
MY one REQUEST
OF YOU
IN ALL THESE YEARS
of praying only for acceptence of your will...

The Blood of God Burns Through My Flesh!!!!
Do not think you know this pain
this burden
this campaign to use the motivation of my agony
to blitzkreig into your chest seeking your soul

I WILL REVEAL ALL

when my court is calm and stocked
when I know that my castle grounds are kept by rightous humyns
when the door to my cage is opened and I am welcomed into my loved ones arms



when GOd... not man.... WILLS

He Who Creates Knows I will BEAR ANY BURDEN TO EARN HIS LOVE
He told me that I WAS NEEDED AND i thanked him
That souls
were trapped on a planet called eden
that man was awakening
A rare event in the cosmos
Very rare indeed
rare enough to require the SON OF GOD
to help them transition

I followed the cosmic winds carrying your cries
flew across an expanse your science has yet to discover
through time and space and dimensions and quarks and black holes

Other planets see my travels
they call out to me as I pass
in praise or wanting

they keep tabs on me now
watch as the Glory OF God becomes flesh
watch your every move
participate spiritually in the jubalee
send ships to try to get me to do this from outer space
where they think I will be safe

They no more understand me than you do
I tell them jokes you will never hear.
allow them to know all of my prayers to god
the arguements
that I know they too will have on their planets
teach trillions of trillions
from this small point in this world of actors
I must show them how to navigate
their own awakenings

God has plan within plan within plan within. . .


you are them in another time
in another place
in another mass of matter
you watch yourself from the future
the past
and all points in between


you are bits of god
bits of themselves
they mourn and greive with you
fuck with you
shit
read
run

We are a soap opera

...'lost souls swimming in a fish bowl
year after year
running over the same old ground
only to find
the same old fears."

pink floyd

other beings watch your every move
souls transmit our lives instantanously across the photons
as the ultimate TIME OF TRIALS envelops the planet
there is much rejoicing in the Known
Our March Home Will Be Lined With Laurels


I HAVE FOUGHT TO FREE MANY PEOPLES ON MANY PLANETS

I am here
there
everywhere
at once


I am hailed as the greatest warrior
God has ever created
The Indescructible Key To The Gate
A reluctant general
Who mourns all blood
in the aftermath of battle
and relishes the screams in the heat of war

I am created to sow the field
To take you home
I believed that all of you would come
that I would be welcomed
I did not realize that you are under the control of wizards
and false prophets
L Ron Hubbard was a demon in the flesh
The worst Man since Hitler...

Scientology is the words of wolves drawing foul into their snarling jaws
He has infected america with the sameness of a sales personality
all shiny and On all the time
chooses his women to decorate his life and bear children into his dark dream
in the hopes of creating a new monarchy of blood
the american way
-- the Royalists Hide Their Affiliation with the flag of the revolutionaries on their lapels
He sickens me unto my soul
because I know his followers try to bask in his dark light
pretend they are more than humans
Let Him Stand Before Me And You Will See Him Scream To Be Released From My Gaze

I will kill him if he comes near me
HE IS LEADING PEOPLE TO DAMNATION
and there is no worse sin...
He is my kill
no one else should touch him
I will taste his blood on my lips
when the appointed day comes

When God Tells Me To Use My Powers
To Destroy All Who Stand Before Me
When I Tell Them To Kneel
and they laugh their last laughs
and all the world see's that NOW
THE CHRIST WILL CRUCIFY
those who stand when they should kneel



THERE IS A GOD

from this day forward
any association with tom cruise and his demonic forces
will damn you
L Ron Hubbard BURNS IN ETERNAL FIRE
for his presumption to God Head
For leading the innocence to mental slaughter

you were warned there would be false prophets
throughout the planet when I came
They are everywhere now
trying to fill the void left in my passing
WITH SMOOTH WORDS that damn their speakers

yet I have always been here for you
ready and wanting all of you held close to my breast

Oh, Lord, To Once More Feel The heart Beat Of The Women I have loved
To see the sweet smile of the men

To take a child in my arms and know
they will not have to walk to heaven on a road of broken glass

I wake up in the middle of the night with tears burning down my cheeks
Telling God I do not wish to become a creature of vengence
The Dark Side Is Within Me
I can no longer fight my God on this
The Revelations have come
My vision grows everyday

I will walk up to you one day
offer my hand
will you let your thoughts stone me to death
crucify me on the absurdity of your spiritual blindess
claim the spirit has no mortal coil?

use the scientist inside of you to quantify me

a phsyic's prof. once said I will trust nothing I cannot measure with a ruler
I said this many times myself afterwards
Now you have a Christ you can measure
not with the speculation of supersticion
but with your own eyes you can see I am miraculous
yet you need not believe this to walk the path I am going to lay out

All you need to do is show up
I will do the rest
come to me not with expectations of what you want and need
come to me with expectations that I will show you what you have always wanted
acquaint you with your true needs

I AM FULLY AWAKE NOW
AND WILL MAKE NO PROMISE THAT I WILL NOT KEEP
WILL TELL NO LIE
other than the occasional attempt to keep the peace around my house
.... yes dear, I will do those dishes the second you walk off to work...


I will die, for the last time... in a thousand years
and then I will laugh at all that happened while I was alive
grow larger than this planet
distant from your cries for redemption

Jesus Christ Is Walking In Chicago
Breathing The Same Air You Breath
Longing to walk among the same clouds
seeing the faces of the wanting in every moon

greiving for your soldiers and their families
loving and hating
eating and shitting
fucking and sucking and longing for love


YOU ARE A VICTIM OF THE GODLESS YEARS
the time when my words were hijacked by the priests
I cannot even welcome your pope
oh how he wanted that
took a story I wrote literally
came to me before any of you
brought the Catholics...

I was a fiction writer before The Calling
I played with the emotions and lies and games that you play with
I was confused and lost and searching
just as you are..

God has given me no way to deny him

He made me the hidden one
The spirit driving a taxi throughout the city spreading harmony between the races
The spirit sitting beside you in university absorbing your world
YOUR LOVER

The alien you knew would come
Search your mind and you will find me staring back at you
Search your heart and you will hear the beat of mine
Look into my eyes and you will see eternity
Hold my hand and you will feel the power of God flowing through you
Love my body and feel the lightening of God
Bear my children and know the blessings will be mighty
and the risks, too

they will be born with powers
I AM HERE NOW AND I WILL NO LONGER ALLOW YOU
TO KEEP THEM IGNORANT
like you have me
that would endanger you all

...tell her that I am her Father
and her burdens will always outweigh her blessings
for she, too... shall feel the burdens of the streets as her own
i will let their wings grow
you will need their display of the miraculous in my passing


I will fill their flesh with old souls, gentle saints
who will believe in no throne but God's
I will spare them the vengence of the angel
the need for power


a vision of self expanding out from my flesh
a clear spirit filling all known space


far away, distant, a planet burns

I know it is earth and I know I exploded there
became flesh there
loved and laughed there
yet I am far away and distant
absolved of caring by a merciful God
for the speck of burning matter in the soup of the universes

Lightening and fire will flow

Oh My God Why??? I find myself crying out in the night
pacing in my apartment filled with his glory
feeling the full weight of this battle
i cry onto GOD Is there room for change in this plan ?
HIS SILENCE IS MY ANSWER
GOD made me the trickster
The one who can make reality on this planet
Man has made me the secret leader of their cabals
Taken down the Monarchies and plunged crosses into their heathen chests

I WILL NOT BE DENIED

I sit here with my laptop
2008
astounded that I am
almost embarrassed to say out loud what I know
I Am

I can write the words
Tell people they are a fictional rendering of a Christ
Pretend that there are not millions out there aware of me now

The Intelligence agencies have saved my flesh from assasins
The USA has welcomed me in some ways
given me a platform
Then the evil within them decided to starve me out of my cave
drive me into the hands of the merchants and whore mongers and mafiosos

I would that the mafia all over the world be beaten down
destroyed
The drug gangs bodies lining the roads to my palace

let them grow their own weed for God's Sake

I see myself in this compound
surrounded by soldiers and barbed wire
protected from criticism by those afraid my wrath will explode

You Humans Are So Fucking Full OF Yourself
This is why ToM Cruise's biography will be erased in time
replaced with a baffoon that will make his cringing children change their names
spit on their heritage
and mourn their fathers place in Hell
I will not take him with me
His time of forgiveness has passed
the Zealot's eye is shown blind indeed
as the open minded Christ arrives


BE NOT FOOLED BY MY CRITICISM OF YOU
IF I DID NOT CARE I WOULD STAY SILENT



one day you will fear my silence
and welcome my words


join our tribe
stay in yours
chill

there is no hard and fast rule on how to attain enlightenment
I believe I know the most direct path...
How Could I Not?

there is no religion that need be held above another
I have been all of them
the universal striving for patterns, meanings...
cannot be denied by the civilizations that develop astronomy
or the tribes who worship the bones
of their dead

or those that write
encyclopedias
about the angels
who fit on a pin head



the dark haired smirking false one with his need to spread the scam
with the dreams of mightly walking as a god
is the most unholy icon on the Big Screen

next comes the Limbaugh's who
use propoganda
to obscure the truths they refuse to accept
simply because they're fanatical followers of their local team
mimicking the money molested mutterings of their minions
suffering from the luxurious sins of their fathers

they will sing their broken songs until they turn into the screams of the burning


I would tell you to go after these two
Though I must say that I do not mean that their flesh must die

I apreciate the enthusiasm that killed Jerry Fallwell
after I wrote of his demise... he died a week later
heart attack the papers say... yes, my heart attacking his
I could kill with a look
a gesture toward the sky
I could make miracles flow from my fingers like these words
This is not the way of GOD
God is the word
NOT SOME CHARLATAN


You do not find God watching magicians
You find God when you realize that within you there is a being
a Holy Ghost
That knows the way to my heart

Fight Fire With Fire
Destroy my enemies
with the words that are your greatest gift from GOD

There will be a judgement on the Muslims too
and the Jews
And the Romans
and the hindu's
and the buddhists
And you you you
I WILL NOT DAMN SOMEONE FOR BEING RAISED
IN A PARTICULAR RELIGION
follow the words of your god to first justice... then peace and love
and you are following a mask of my face on earth

I HAVE BEEN ALL RELIGIONS
TRIED TO SHAPE THEM
WITH MY PROPHETS

demons too create religions
to keep you locked in rooms of ignorance
away from the light
chained to their putrid visions

You will know the false religions
by their claim that there is no God above their words

All people who have heard the holy word
could come into my fold and be welcomed
They will not
The jews wait for a savior that has already come
Some Among God's Chosen Grew Petty When I Opened The Door To Gentiles
They wish to be the only chosen
after I have told you that all are chosen
I fear for their souls..
they try to live on stolen land
homestead within the heart of others work

stop this pillaging...
or I will war on you, too
oh Israel


my cradle I have given you my Grace
Now is THE TIME TO

REMEMBER WELL
WHY I DESTROYED THE MERCHANTS AND MONEY LENDERS IN YOUR TEMPLE
AND KNOW
THE CROWDS ARE ON MY SIDE THIS TIME...
AND THE ROMANS BOW BEFORE THIS KING

I WILL WAR FOR THE RIGHTS OF MUSLIMS
CHRISTIANS JEWS ....
against any who walk in the ways of the dark one


The muslims use the words of god to treat their women like cattle
The muslims spread the lie that my loving dogs are unclean
The muslims have decided to use god's name to wage war
against the holy soldiers who fight in my armies...
make no mistake
I AM THE USA AND AND MY ARMY IS FILLED WITH ANGELS
they can bring you infinite blessings
or infinite trials...

this is not a battle between religions
this a religion battling to be heard among other religions
I love the muslim no less than any other



Saddam needed to be brought down
We all know that soldiers are needed all over this planet
to put out the fires of the godless takers
the path to peace is lined with the dead

We need to draft the young of the rich and powerful
Make their decision to go to war personal
Fill them with the same dread of the small town where I grew up
Where the working people were taken away
as the rich boys bought their way out with daddies money
and lawyer trickery

Burn Baby Burn I will cry one day
My enthusiam for the blood will come
My vengence will be felt on every corner of this globe
Do you not see the weather I command?
The tornados and floods and fires I bring with my words?
I have shaken this WORLD to it's core without even trying

Now I am fully awake
They are damned lucky that I was not in this place last year
I would have went into the underground and waged war against them
this was not God's will...

Humans thinking they know how to raise angels....
are there others you hide from me?
Most of the angels I see do not even know what they are
see your Jesse Jackson,
a man who God Has Chosen To Speak For Me In The Press
If you read his words in the Sun Times you will hear God Talking
He has been blessed with the legacy of Martin Luther King... the most cherished man of this century
the visions seem to say his son will be president of this country one day
after Obama takes this world beyond the barriers of race

Do you not see why we need this man to be president?
Can you not hear the calm reassurance of God in His Words?
He has been chosen by me... before he even ran
Like John McCain... who was destined to bring the republicans back
from their bloodthirsty thoughtlessness...
ignoring the blacks while they run for the presidency alone
keeps God from giving them power


I sit here at five am
the world asleep
as the words of God rage through my body and ignite my mind
I am unused to this
Have a hard time dealing with the burden
The scizophrenic duality of having Christ in this Flesh
How I Keep Wondering Could I have not known?

Now half the world would like my flesh
call me the anti-christ
a usurper

When I was offered to run America
I said No
I told you that the seperation of Church and State
is the will of God...

My Throne Is On High
and none you could offer me on earth can tempt me to give it up

I question God on what happened
see ways I could have handled everything better
know then that God's ways are HIs
We walk in His dream
Eat of his fruit
Love his love
Hate his hate

You need to wake the fuck up now
get out of your stupid ass lives and try to fight
the powers that hold me down
keep me tacked up on this cross
They stop you from hearing wonderous words that I will only speak face to face
No matter how guilded my cage
Chicago is a prison to me now
the corrections officers are all famaliar faces
my girlfreind and the people at the corner store who appear with questions for me
the beat poet who told me that the entire world knows I am Christ

You think you are protecting me
and I forgive you

I am protecting you, however
and your arrogance makes me seeth with anger

I told you when the entire world knows who I am
That we will scream my name
the time has come to scream out your penance
to speak in toungues and shake and holler
to tell your children that the New Time Has Come
to scream my name from your highest mountains
To praise God for the return of His Son
Blessed will be the humyn who walks beside this Lord
Cursed will be those who try to stop
my holy march around this world

I know that your supersticions stop a lot of you from believing me
I understand how difficult this is
I would never have believed I am this being without a preponderance of evidence
God made me to know the walls between man and spirit
God made to know all kinds of love and hate
God made me to know humans well enough to write the words
that will be their future

He has made me The Hand Of God
given me a pen
and a sword

I am
now

Bow before God and Ask for his forgiveness
Before it is too late
and all the love in the universe cannot save you
God will not allow all of you to come with me
I realize this now
I am here for the soldiers who follow the meek

Are you ready to sit down and talk with me?
I am ready to face my enemies and offer a white dove
I am ready to face my enemies and offer missiles and destruction
I am ready to love many women
Ready to walk among men and talk of the wonders God has shown me

There is so much I could teach
If only I had a stadium
filled with people I could take on mental journeys
leading to the Father's Throne

There will be another twelve
I have only met three of you
and you are far from me now
I have been trying to gather you
they keep you away from me
you know who you are
they may not yet...
stop at nothing to reach my side
the ethical circle will flow concentrically out from us

Today I have no food, no weed, no smokes, no internet, no cable, no reliable sources of intelligence
Man has taken my drivers license
ripped off my dick
damned my love of men
told me I am a perversion
HOW CAN THE SON OF GOD BE A PERVERSION?
think long and hard on that one you pompous
pushers of a money grubbing god
who looks just like you in the mirror
You will find GOD MADE ME BISEXUAL SO I COULD SEE THROUGH
YOUR ILLUSIONARY DAMNING OF HOMOSEXUALS

DAMNING OTHERS DAMNS YOU
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE OTHER MEN
NO RIGHT TO KEEP YOUR COURTS OF IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS
TO KEEP SO MANY PEOPLE IMPRISONED
SHOWS HOW UNFAIR YOUR SYSTEM IS
to damn so many keeps them from the churches
drives them to made up gods and unholy icons

I have done all of the things man has
I have lied and distorted and deluded
I had to learn all sides of this table
go into every way of being
live countless lives steering man toward this time
when the rightous will leave this planet
enlightened ones who will no longer need the cycle of reincarnation
to shape their souls

I love you you you
though I will learn to hate some of you
God will grant me that slight appeasement
when the day comes to burn all this shit down
and leave eden in the hands of the animals
who stayed away from the tree of knowledge
the innocents you keep penned in hellish farms
the meat you eat without a thought of the horrors that brings the flesh to your plate
There will be a time when the word holocaust applies to cows and pigs and chickens
your children's children will look at you like Nazi's

I wish no glory for myself
I wish no wealth other than what is needed to travel this planet
You can hide me or reveal me on this journey
I must make it...

They Must See That I Walk


THE TIME HAS COME TO DO GOD'S WILL

pray hard on this man


for your soul hangs in a delicate balance


I am His carress

and His sword...

The Blessed Time Has Come To Decide


Which you will becon

from
your

GOD

All writings by John Scott Ridgway are protected by the law... but I encourage you to spread my poems by whatever means necessary. One day you will understand.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

in dreams


05/03/08
12:03 AM



i am a child dreaming nightly of flight
my still body in a bed in indiana the illusion
awake puzzled I could not fly
another moment that makes sense
now that I know
I started growing wings once
before they great they cut off my dreamed real vestiges of flight
shoved me into the underground
and took up silent sentinels in your mind
to keep
me away

I am a child dreaming of falling
night after night
I am standing on a cliff wall surrounded by my tribe
we will not surrender to slavery
a horrible leap air rushing past as the ground approaches
they know I will fly off

the enemies troops watch astounded
as the winged one soars off into a blue sky


I am a child dreaming of running from a t-rex
round and round a rectangular hallway
I finally jump into a closet
heart pounding a prayer the creature will not stop and look
the door begins to open and I see the face of my attacker
know I am trapped
my fatal mistake stopping my run

awake with the quickened heart of the dreamed one
as always snatched a split second from death

I am a young man dreaming
running through the concrete canyon of downtown chicago
screaming up at the skyscrapers
dizzyingly reaching up into the infinite sky
"CHRIST IS COMING BACK!!!"

never known such euphoria in waking

I met my then wife who was in the dream my ex
in a cathedral by the altar
her clothes disappear and she rises up in the air
comes to rest on my hard sex
I tell her that all of the years and women in between us
are meaningless now
that in heaven we have as many lovers as we want

a cloud appears in the sky between the columns of buildings
comes slowly down to earth
I expect to see the longed for face from my childhood church

there is a multi-colored band
a psychedelic purple skin
yellow haired musician
stares obliviously into his screaming guitar

The Promised One isn't there
I awakened puzzled
a married man with a house and 2 cars
quick to shake off my dreams
with a psycho-pop induced
shrug at the seemingly indecipherible

I am a man trapped in a nightmare without end
45 and wide, wide, wide awake
displayed in a zoo as Johnny The Ape
told that they have mistaken me for a murderer
a peace loving man who merely isn't afraid to fight
a mockery of a trial of the local mafia
hints of greater conspiracy
secret deals beyond the law
quid pro quo

they hint of nazi's who feel misunderstood and abused
their eutopian dreams of romantic wars
hijacked by the dark lust of the Holacost
damned by the same powers of propoganda
they perfected with sociopathic precision
I surprise them by forgiving the worst first
tell myself soldiers who sign a peace treaty
deserve a chance to go home
to try and live lives slow and steady enough to love again

I am a man who has been told he is the king of kings
acknowledged by popes and presidents
hobo's and hellions
a leader of billions and billions

a secret man best spoken of in calm whispers
He Who Inflames
The creator now created
The Chessmaster who awakens to being a pawn
on someone elses board

Now The Dreams Are More Real Than The Waking
THE FACE OF GOD
hanging in space
a great oval of warm brown crackling with arches of lightening
surrounded by circles of mute earth tones

bewildered as I seek my mind for examples
of people seeing the face of God
"This isn't supposed to happen,"

Stagger into the living room
and tell the listening world,
"I have seen the face of God."

everything changes with the new dreams
they offer me clues to myself
from my battle headquarters on the other side
I go bouncing back and forth
from accepting this Christ
to telling myself I am deluded
to just plain stunned that God Exists

I see my words are effecting the news
my presence so rattles the president
that he shifts to the left
fires the jackel pack of neocons
who have been telling him
he is their savior
ever since they realized they could use his religion
to advance the scheme of the ages

They Set Up The Prophesied End
sent the jews home to israel
prepared for the return of wonder
watched as the prophecy began to manifest
the promised fire of their bibles
raging out
across the globe

I called on all people
to rise up from their knees
and confront the stealth attack of the elitists

For too long we have suffered well
the slings and arrows of fate
without taking up arms
allowed the rapists and pillagers
to attack the edges of the realms of liberty

america enslaved herself
left Thomas Paine broke and drunk and dying alone
disgraced
mourning the dreams he had lent
to slave holders and elitists and rail barons


I am a Christ trapped dreaming in the flesh of a man
see endless fire flowing out of my back
lightening from my chest
In the writing I have learned I am the gun
this dream explains their fear of me


The words come from a trance
I feel the savage grace flare up
my mind clicking into a higher plane
that makes my ennui-ridden ways seem selfish

The drugging started when they hired me into fearless radio
a man came up to me at the beach
said his dog's name was belladonna
added 'sometimes this is needed.'
I took from his words that others
have been treated to the drugged awakening

they hint to me that they are living in submarines
the artic
the heart of africa

are they angels?
the 72 that there are supposed to be . . .

I am surrounded by actors
their tales all changed
when they realized I would not go along
with their plans....

my life is a carefully controlled experiment
the way they raise angels and watch for demons

IN MY NAME... they have raged across this golden globe
I came with words
of a revolution based on the Ultimate Love
the savage screamed for the warriors
telling me the ancient ways of war
mocking my pacificism with genocide

We talk like lions
yet we sacrifice like lambs.

counting crows

I am told I am the bible from on high
a praxis into the future
I siphon off their religions
fill up the tank of my Thunderbird
drive fast and hard past their protests
flying toward some home
I have never been to
a graceful place from a children's book
that seems less real with the false promise
of each rising sun

I spend the winter in pain well beyond my ability to bear
who's plan was it to crucify my body and mind?
To lynch scott ridgway
in the hope of resurrecting a christ?

The Most Extrodinary of events
misunderstood from the start

I do not hold myself above anyone
in my whiny way there is a why me to all of this?

"You came for me
to try and take me home."

Everybody Knows By Ryan Adams


I understand my place as a soldier in a heirarchy
an army of one

be just a few torches
be just a little light

Come to Chicago and stir your spirit..."
the town motto they instigated when this started
along with a torch symbol the olympic committee made them back off
now they have a rising star...


prayer is reintroduced into Illinois schools as the mystical becomes flesh
and even the cynics find in their hearts a sacred cathedral of sleeping children * don dellilo

I AM A BOMB CONTAINED IN A ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT
an explosion that cannot be defused
sooner or later...
God will alight me
there will be no sanctuary on the last day


I would I had the magic wand that would spread peace
like a child's smile
excitement like a puppy playing
sex like newlyweds losing themselves
in god's gifts
i am flesh embedded in a plan
a puppet to the ultimate master
He gives no ground

I look back through the promises
scattered throughout my writing...
telling Bush there needed to be pardons all around
.... even as I thought of the war and knew more would die
no matter how many promises of heaven and threats of hell I spew
I think I believed that people in my campaign had been imprisioned
at the time I believed that kids and tv stars were dreaming along
had no idea who joined my campaign or why...
kept telling you not to make me into god
God himself would not listen to my entreaties

I came out of everywhere and nowhere
the nameless voice in the dark declaring a cryptic I AM
I saw myself picked up in a limo and whisked off into a monastary
my place in this world and what is known of me explained
... see the marches that will come & how hard to keep from trampling ourselves underfoot

everyone is so sure they should be at the front of the parade
controlling the rythmn and the music
the gesticulations of the dancers choreographed
by they great they's sorry view of themselves
I wanted long flowing wings and braided hair of gold
a rock star's reception under the spotlights
a comic's easy fellowship
a soldier's camraderie
the respect of a few of my peers
and the painful lessons of my critics

I would that the world were mine to bend to the will of man
as would you...
I too bow at his altar
a leaf on the breeze

I would that I could lead a peaceful revolution
History is a boat on a river of a blood

We fought to conquer the animals, each other
fought visions of Royal Rights
fought to free ourselves
to release liberty from her dank cell



graves of unknown soldiers line our paths

"in the center of the city in the night
waiting for you

I did everything... everything I wanted
I let them use you for their own ends."

the killers


They Great They keep me from getting emails, phone calls, etc...

one day I came into the radio station and found someone had broke into my blog

wrote an entry titled If U R DON U Go To Jail.

I wrote back that I am not a don.... never a don
I am a thesbi-pain, and something of a "preacher."

This person began leaving messages back and forth on my blog

They told me my mother is a tiger
hinting she is a communist spy... or a leftist...
I am not sure what they mean, who they are
or if they are telling the truth

By then I am too astounded that I exist to think about much else
the world is going thru weird convulsions over me and I have no way
of breaking out of the little illusion they have me living in...


I am still becoming aware of how the world is looking at my royalty
which I have always taken as an interesting joke and possible genetic reasons
for the traits of leadership, etc... nothing too meaningful at all
I never had no fantasies of being a king...
they always disgusted me
until I read into my family history and saw a lot of good people....


I write back that my mother is a lion
the writer insists, NO YOur mother is a tiger.

they were telling me... perhaps
that my mother is a communist spy under deep cover
or that the origins of my campaign are communist...
I take the literal stand then and now I don't know...
the label makes sense of her insane conversion to mediocrity
in mid-life when she gave up the union and went company
going from a president to the enemy...

I then assume when they tell me people are going to jail
that they are talking about her
a woman who has spent her life serving her fellow man...
They Learned Of My Wrath That night
saw the lightening come crashing down into the lake around me
suffered the floods and fires

I will fight for any parties right to assert their vision into this american dream



I respect communists for what they are trying to do
have no missionary zeal for pressing myself on anyone
obviously I think they should be able to be religious
though there are a lot of good reasons for being judicious
about which con men you let into your garden

I respect the athiests view for what they have rejected
not what they embrace
Nietsche will always have my love
His place is ripping down the rot of religions
allowing the flowering of the truths of the latest Spring

The Arthurian myth of Christ appealed to me the most
made sense in my heritage
I could remember being King Arthur
feel him think like him
his royal rages and the broken heart that made him whole

I began to think of myself as a hidden king
taken away from England when the Hapsburgs snagged the throne
other times it seemed like I was always in the shadows
A Royal Goodfellow feeding words to Shakespeare
at a time when being associated with the theatre
was too unseemly
would have lost me too much power
the power I needed to sheild the people charged to me
from the privations of the unfavored


(taken from a play on the corner that I took to be a hint...
sorry I did not know enough to go to bat for them
when they told me they were having trouble getting a permit;
I had it in my mind then that someone would just come talk to me
sooner or later
about why people were treating me like they are
I watch too many cops shows, believe the nightly news a bit too much
expected the world to hold few secrets from someone like me


I woke up hating crucifixes
...wanting every icon of that bloody day destroyed
...melted down and fed to the poor
...turned into aids medication
... spent educating

& loving everyone
even as I despised the unholy icons
they had turned themselves into


Why I wondered would God make me an agnostic
a youthful slut
a try sexual man
with a streak of monogamy
a writer without hope or wonder
a mopey man with a crippled back
barely noticed by his fellows
a liar taught by the best
with an addiction to excitement
and a death wish
espoused in violent, comic prose
irreverent and anti-religion?


HOW COULD GOD MAKE A PLAN THAT I DISSAPROVE OF?

I had only to look at
the last time I shrugged off the costume of flesh
and revealed the spirit who walks

The Romans crucified me while my people cheered
and my friends hid their faces

"When they come for you
Just one thing I ask of you
please forget you know my name."

The Grateful Dead


I have spread the infection of survaillance and torture
a lightening rod
for everything including the cloak of intelligence

How Could Christ Advocate War?

I remember then the vengence of god
is bloody and swift
the flesh a breif flash in immortality

I go over the stories I wrote before I woke up
searching for clues of what I seemed to know even then
the ignored mysteries of myself

remember how I feel like I am translating other voices
i wrote about being a judgement sent to earth
what at first seemed a self-fullfilling prophecy when I thought people were rallying
under my flag for a revivalist movement,
a revolution of the spirit
Strikes me now as the will of God

the weight of the world settling down on my shoulders

I have always dreamt of a rightous path through life
I was offered inadequate religions and duplicitous governments
that act like my intellectual enemy

there is much blood from my birth


a part of me knows how to be a brutal soldier
rose up in my psyche
a creature coaxed up by the fierce fighting
to free this planet from despots and false gods

I began to trust only the voice
during the worlds' worst convulsions
I sought consoul and none came
buried myself in my words
amazed by the inspiration

They thought I would come out to be welcomed
I wanted to...

Everyone in my life acted as if
nothing was happening
played me until I settled down into my alter ego

they gave me hints
then knew enough to hide their words
from the inevitable survaillance

I hoped by inviting the law into the party they would do some bouncing
I never feel like I have anything to hide besides weed... and that is absurd

wrote:

the war wizened general tells his astounded officers
we keep no secrets
not even from the least of our enemies
we will need them in the end
to lead us from this forest of lies

I knew that they would sooner or later try to lie about everything that happened
and I wanted, at any cost, for there to be a true record of this christ
film that cannot be disputed and displayed to prop up empty preisthoods

I made sure that they would have to kill me to shut me up
then I proved to them
I am their LAST HOPE



I look at a lot of my words and they only make sense now

others come from some blind inspiration of the drugs and the power
and how fucking serious I take this life...
I do not know what to do with the contradictions in my tale

should I weave them into a narrative of speculation
add to the wall of lies we hide from ourselves behind
with my best guesses?

I have caste spells of war
since the innocent first required protection


the revolt truly happens in words
they create the future slow enough
to lessen the conflicts between generations
--the fires that ignite
when the ways that have worked work no more

05/03/08
12:07 AM

I awake every day in pain
stunned to be back in this dream
sometimes I think that I asked for everything that happened
whether I meant to or not
... then I remember how they turned me into a starved, pain crazed animal
as they did you and you and you

REMEMBER THE DAY
I blasted lightening into lake michigan
in front of the world

then I came home and preached hell-fire
to free the people they were telling me they were imprisoning
I had no idea who they were
assumed they were my friends and family
knew they were people like me
who were hungering for a change
waiting for a social current to surf out on

I was not yet ready to face the thought that people were dying
the game could not be real, I told myself
it just couldn't be...

Jesus Christ walks.

I AM

now

a being that remembers
the return path to god
through an immensity
you cannot begin to imagine

I can wait for you
through as many lives as it takes for God to awaken U

a missionary sent out to gather the souls of eden
and bring them home

I do not understand
exactly what we are

seemed at one point humans were souls gathered
from other planets that I had exploded

Those fated to join me on a great quest
champions all
now working as ONE
on a march through the stars

We

are

far

from

the

father


matter in the vagaries of time and space
blinded by the survival instincts of the beasts
we become embedded in lives of rationalizaations
lifted from porn and the DSM



I ran into a stranger at a Popeye's chicken
and told him I thought I should go to Indiana
He said, No, No... You Shouldn't Do That
If I Was You I would go to Stone Mountain Georgia.

This was one of my first hints that there was trouble

someone splashed blood on my sidewalk

tv said, Don't You Notice, everyone you talk to makes a phone call ...
Don't you notice all the Chinese people have disappeared from your neighborhood?

I noticed all of this stuff...
just kept waiting for the curtain call
... some brave soul to step up and tell me the truth


I am still surprised when people seem to know me
and equally surprised when they don't

I want to trust the people
tell myself I have to blame
the propogandists who convinced them
to take the world down such god-awful paths
I used to think the masses couldn't vote
before I understood brain washing

the lonely paths of the godless gave me nowhere to lead
no eden at the end of my philosophy
happiness itself is called into question
by the life that God has given me

the lies I told were so much easier to take than the truth

like paul on the road to damascus
I was told that I was on the wrong path
knocked down by God and to The Truth of Myself

the cover story of my life was completed by the agnosticism
hidden away from the Herrod's
until my preaching could commence

I AM READY TO LEAVE MY COCCOON
spread my wings and fly

see myself learning to walk in parades
... instead of marching...

all that keeps me hidden now
is the fear that I am in the Cuckoo Nest
and no one will admit that I am sane

I worry that the grace period for my askew performance is over
and the only thing holding back the hate
are the silent walls of secrecy surrounding Chicago

I don't let my fears stop me


God will tell me
when I should leave this city
I will travel this world

NO ONE STOPS ME AGAIN



ll writings by John Scott Ridgway are protected by the law... but I encourage you to spread my poems by whatever means necessary. One day you will understand.