The ongoing story of Jesus waking up in Chicago, in the body of an agnostic writer,
who is nothing like the Son of God the right-wing Christians watching him expected.

You are welcome to share my work with a link bank... keep getting asked this...

Last time I was here, I told them I would not lead a revolution, that I was there to spread heresy. The crowds thinned. The day they killed me, I marched alone... This time I have returned to find Romes Soldiers Sleeping, content they have killed off the Troublesome Jew. I was surprised how bloody the Indiana boy became as my sword fell again and again ....

In the years since this story began in 2007, my secret fame has spread out from the halls of power that kept me secret all these years, as they waited for the Christ to finally wake up...

I try to imagine their anticipation.

Remember a dream I had in my twenties about running thru Chicago screaming that Christ was coming back, and man oh man was I happy... a cloud came through the middle of the skyscrapers above me, in the thin strip of blue above Dowtown State street, and I expected to see Christ... instead, just a bunch of musicians painted up like Ziggy stardust.

I surprised my keepers. They thought they had me figured out from the Bible. If that book could have told you everything, there would be no need at all for me.

Jesus: "I have become Known across this planet as a dangerous man with a growing force of hidden followers who value my orders more than life itself. A prophet of war. Once and future King in a court of shadows. Life and death in my hands every damn day. I ROAR, your most mighty shit themselves and run. I make myself a known threat, so I can try to negotiate what otherwise requires bullets and blood. I am here to free the enslaved in body and mind. I cannot be defeated. When the Will of God and The WILL OF THE PEOPLE ARE ONE, NO FORCE ON EARTH CAN STOP US!"


We come into this life expecting too much and leave expecting too little

Saturday, July 26, 2008

the police in new york are driving around with the head of a dead black person

below is an article on cops driving with a black head on their attenna

THIS SHIT HAS TO STOP. THEY ARE STOPPING OUR Y0UNG AND MAKING THEM FEAR THE POLICE. this is no way to support crime eradication. THE COPS MUST BE FIRED. PERIOD. OR.... YOU GOING TO BE WONDERING WHY SOMEONE IS KILLING ALL THE COPS IN HARLEM. WE ARE GOING TO START KILLING THEM IF THEY LEAVE US NO CHOICE. PASS THE WORD. By the way, this is a work that says it is fiction, and most people think Jesus is fiction, so it stands... I will be writing out hit lists and shit. I do not want anyone dead, just attacked with words... but if they use those black heads, like they did in the slavery days, when they hung slaves heads on sticks... for bullshit.

below is an article on cops driving with a black head on their attenna

After reading this article, I came across the knowledge that in harlem, they check the pockets of blacks and hispanics at a rate of 2/1/2 times the rate of others... bythis I mean the sterotyped other, white guys, who are the primary weed smokers in the country. THEY ARE JAILING THE BLACKS PEOPLE.... AND IT IS MAKING SOME OF THEM VERY MEAN OVER SHIT LIKE WEED.


You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means...

they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

i am going to a steely concet tonight

going out into public
makes me feel watched

the last time I went to chicago theater
they seated us first
then kep the seats ahead of us empty for a few minutes
I figured they were thinking I was going to do something

seth has been with me since we settled our little dilemma
he thought I was afraid of blood

my attack showed him my eye is on my mission



You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

Monday, July 14, 2008

the cross

the unwelcome Christ
drifts through another day
in his gentle prison

he is allowed to leave his house
travel the city

security is tight
they watch him all the time
know when he is awake/who he calls/emails

they call those he names
make sure they know that the Christ has Chosen them

The cabal keeps him sated
He has a woman, pets
they keep him poor enough
that travel is out of the question

He is not the Christ of old
living homeless and hungry
as He awaits his date with Calvary

God has made him a warrior
killing with cryptic words
that send his forces out to make another heart-attack
cause a cancer
create a car accident
a suspicious fire burns across this planet

in the flames you hear the laughter of God
as his bloody welcome is given to his Children

the God who created the kill or be killed
eat or be eaten

exists beyond your pain
seeing you now and as you will be
the pains of this life are subsumed in the Glory of The To Come

the mythic journey through the stars
back to the father's side

you will hear tales of my heroic's along the way
I am nothing except a creation of the Father
nothing to celebrate or pray to or respect
any more than any working man doing a job
with the same feeling that he would rather be home

the silent among you are truly in control
not the voices you hear on the news

there is a greater ruling class
a coven of allegiences that try to keep the american experiment alive
by decieving the masses
by distrusting anyone other than themselves

I have shown the world their faces
dragged them out of the shadows
into the court of opinion

I awoke from amnesia in an Illegal House
I did not know...
I went along with them because they were offering me my dreams
like all evil folk
they lied to me
then tried to make me act the fool for the radio
i WENT ALONG to be funny
ground breaking

and we were
I wanted to use any scrap of fame I got
to help the people
to push for my causes
I wanted wealth to give it away

I cannot accept blood money
let them pay me off for their trickery
pretend that a few green backs
hold any worth
that equals my suffering in their hands

God himself fed me my inspiration
when such a one as He tells you what to do
there is no choice involved

he provided me with the opportunity to preach, act, write
the revolutionary movement that will take this country
this world
the space explorers
to the point where the good of all
is no different than the good of the one

You will die
some of you will stay by my side above
some of you will come back into life
sleeper agents for God
the evil among us
now hungry for redemption
to stay true to the simple god given laws
of their genetics

I will begin teaching them to use their powers

None will eclipse my own
for reasons that should be obvious to all of you
I have a dream of peace
from the Father
The path to heaven in my mind
the face of God hovering over me
an army of angels
the dead ready to do my bidding
in this world and beyond

I am at your back
raising my sword
to either fight off our enemies
or take you head

Sit in Chicago on a perfect day
the kitty-bum Buk curled up beside me
slighty touching my thigh with his warm paws

the husky lays in the doorway
half illuminated by the golden sun

the illusion of peace is complete

I read of the war zones
trying to see the best way out
read of al queda regrouping in Pakistan
how they won't let the Marines hunt them down

I want Peace without appeasement

yet I can see them there
calling on the youth to use their juice to fight in a holy war
everyone wants a holy war

all war is unholy
we fight the unholy to stop war

Some must fight
so that their loves can live
the unfortunate left overs of chimps trying to dominate the tribe
get the best fucks, the juiciest fruit...
how pathetic to be arrogant
in your pitiful state

man I have said that my dog is better than any human
when I said this I meant they are more blessedly living
than man

they would be just as cruel with our cranium
just as fucked up by their instincts
as they try to gather into civilizations

our soldiers are not feeling like they are fighting a holy war
though if they knew the future that the Taliban would bring
they would be volunteering for suicide missions

I will not allow any fundamentalists
even christians

to tell everyone else what to do

to jail the children of the night

I became in the America's for a reason
they are the most powerful country in the world
the exact opposite of being stoned by the crowds as I struggled
to keep the heavy cross on my torn and bleeding shoulders

This time He let me be ready
sent me to stop the heresy
to destroy the idea that the last prophet has come and gone
no religion can afford to ignore me
they will change
to fit into the world we will offer

or we will free their children from the grips
of certain generations
stop their cultural pollution BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY


you wonder why I like the Mormon's?
For the same reason I like the Catholic's...

they believe in revelation
All humans are capable of being contacted by angels
given truths for how people should live
the mormons keep this tradition alive

I do not ignore things like they take more prozac in salt lake city
than anywhere else in the world

they have to loosen up
quit thinking that they have the exact method to raise humans
they raise carbon copies of themselves
children who parrot what was known
rather than seeking a new language that synthesises
all that the future offers

even new cultural truths
this God doesn't give a damn if a girl is a virgin
I prefer experienced lovers
I think kids should have sex
I am glad that I did
however... no adult should touch them
in their time of innocence
their heart and groins should be their guide

pretending they are not supposed to be sexual
sends them the wrong message
creates these fetishes and phobias
we make our children like priests
with no sexual outlet

so many myths must be deconstructed
torn apart
thrown onto the ash heap of history and burned

we should all be smoking weed
instead of drinking

everyone knows this
except those too straight to explore the wilder sides

I have always felt like an artist
a watcher of human kind
a man who wanted to evolve into the best he could
now the best I can be is too awesome to hold in my head

I asked loyd the underground agent once
what I was
he waved his hand in front of his face saying
"You are... oh, what you are... you're ... Christ."
He was always avoiding my questions
offering me only the information he wanted me to get

told me they would jail me if I went after the Hell's angels
stop me if I left town

He is the only one who has approached me with full understanding
last time I saw him he had lost 40 pounds and was a wreck
told me, as others have, "They've been coming down on me
pretty hard."

The oddest part of this is that my main goals
have been reached
the president acknowledged the greenhouse effect
the country is about to elect a liberal
and find out how much better off they are

the kids have been activated as voters
the culture has come together to put a black man
at the helm

I have become famous with the people who matter
and have kept at least the illusion
that I am living like a man

I remember when this was starting
and I became convinced I would become wealthy beyond my wildest

the power of money hit me hard
I wanted things I had never considered buying
became the creature I have despised

went into the hospital and they wiped my personality away
took out the Hitler is how they explained it on the radio

the Hitler... there is no Hitler in me
I drove cab for fifteen years and never picked up anyone
who I was better then
or anyone who was better

I do not think in terms of heirarchies
I am not impressed by accolades
I am curious and open with people
yet respectful of their privacy
I treated everyone the same in my taxi
and people noticed
I was tipped incredibly well at times

There was also my dark side on display as I drove
I was fierce in the face of challanges
Never Backed Down... unless it was just stupid to continue

one night a woman grabbed the money
I had in my shirt and bolted
I ran her down
and she made it clear I would have to beat her up
to get my money back
I returned to the cab
took another order and tried to forget about it

I was always in the face of some asshole
never let people treat me like shit
without giving them a sting back

I understand the thirst for vengence
there are many who still bring up hate and disgust in my mind

I tell myself this is a behavior
not the intrinsic being
that there is a soul in all trying to steer
the flesh by the whispers of the Holy Ghost
The Christ inside all of you

still I would kill relentlessly if I thought it would help
if I did not know the collaterol damage
includes everything I love

My Powers are too huge for my consciousness
most of what I do with the weather comes from
a place in my mind where words are meaningless

I experimented to find out what could be done
and the destruction was awe inspiring
waves of tornados came at the bidding of my spinning fingers

like the flooding of Chicago when I thought they had killed M

I wonder sometimes if I was told all that has happened in the last two years
if my rage would destroy the world once and for all



he savage is pacing back and forth in hiscell
roaring in the night
gently crying as he see's the faces of the oppressed on the moon

I keep my mind on the mission
trying to win the alleigence of the lost
to bring together the unstoppable power
of the masses
to enfranchise the forgotten

the gangs are needed in our army
we must offer them the mercy
one gives misguided children
before the leaders are all jailed
and forced to believe some religion
they have made up to enforce discipline

manipulating the impulses of the young
toward wanting to live gloriously
in the eye of God
not the eyes of their gang
or parents

He exists
I have seen him
experienced the miracle of his presence
for months on end

When I was driving cab
I used to have conversations with God all the time
I believed in Karma then...
kept doing good deeds and seemingly reaping the benefits
then something terrible would happen
for no reason I could see
no sin of mine...




the religions of exlusion
must be stoppped
opened up
Holy Books like the Koran speak the ways of Peace
and War

written by men
trying to scribe the visions of God
in a language the people of his time understand
suiting the needs of a past long swept away by the wind

the place for the fundamentalists
is the same as the amish today

I apreciate the need to live simply
if this makes them happy
then let them b

Yet when they take the youths and teach them to hate
the very freedom that would bring Liberty to them
when they are told that church and state are the same
When the ministers tell the people that they know all
they are mocking God

No Man knows the best way for all to live
Diversity is the joy of God

I have preached to all religions that remain
been there and done that as a Muslim
in the time when they were the best religion on the planet

They are now as great as many others
No better or worse than the Bible Baptist Church
in Auburn Indiana
where I was offered a relationship with a deity
I stopped believing in at some point
what an irony?

I would have expected one such as I to rise from a church
I see now His Wisdom in making me a writer on the web
where I can reach all people
I have never liked preaching to the choir

I aam sickened by the Challanges I throw out daily

Sick of being a critic
Sick of pissing off people

My will is not as important as His
As long as He feeds me words
I must be the Praxis between God and Man
no matter how uncomfortable I am with talking to people about this

One Flew Over The Cuckoo Nest
that is me
the indian who has smashed out the window
and found freedom

My mother took me to this film alone
my brothers still too young
though we had all read the book
She is so wonderful
the childhood she tried to give us shines at moments
jewels in my memory that remind me that children still feel this way

Ossama was a wonderful child once
a brilliant man
a thoughtful leader with the instincts of a seasoned warrior
Now he and his kind have grown arrogant
as has all mankind

Once I was filled with such passion
that I felt I should be the one who went to war
to save the troops from having to fight
nuclear bombs would be kinder

When I began to see how I could be used by the military
I had to trust my instincts
believe that the soldiers would keep their creeds
yet I knew that war is a law unto itself

the cross
this time is information

being alive and wondering
where I will be most useful

Humans who manipulate others
are an affront to God
we must find a way to stop the schools in the middle east
from teaching hatred for the red, white and blue
to do this we must change

America is about Change

You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

we live in a cage of bookmarks

look at your bookmarks
if they are anything like mine
they tell the tail of who we are

the newspapers we believe
the comedians who make us laugh
the music that inspires

for every truth there are twenty lies
obscuring everything until the lie becomes as sensible as the truth

when more people believe the big con
than are free to be witting...
the Big Con will continue
with most all of the world
the marks
of a few
amoral carnies

look at Bush scrambling to take out large
swaths of nature with him
when he reluctantly gives up the White House

Sooner or later
there will be trails over how the environment has been treated
traitors will be shot

stay true for another day

trust there is a window the sky that has opened
and I have flown through
to save you from yourselves
as much as from the powers unchallanged in this world
who now know I AM

they great they
know nothing will ever be the same again

I have destroyed their vision of the future
replaced it with my own cry of total war for total peace

You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

Friday, July 11, 2008


They great they have covered my words
with a blanket of silence
or so
they have convinced me
hints of other come
never know if they are trying to play me
or someone offering their hand has managed to reach me

some days my stance seems absurd
despite all the evidence
the normalcy of the day to day mocks the drama
playing just under the words

I feel the aches in my body
get reamed by the usual runs of bad luck
life still a messy construct on the edge of a cliff

seem to be

long before I knew

are THEY winning I wonder?
Did I come to the aide of some cabal
that has taken over our country?
Was I programmed?

They show me connections built up all over the world
during the brief months they were feeding me intelligence
I can imagine the power of an Army lead by what is believed to be a God
Have seen the tactic used in war since the dawn of time

Does the entire world see me as a loser?

Did they think I would start a revolution
and then leave them hanging?
You have mistaken my mercy as weakness
The Meek Inherit The Earth
Even if I have to organize them into an army

I backed off to save lives

My intent is to harm no flesh
may well be God's plan, too
His wrath is greater than my mercy
I pray for the power to do God's will
stumble on assuming I am

I have come to love this earth
to be the agent of death for all of this...

I cannot be blamed for what God made me
to hate myself is to hate God The Father
as much as it is to hate another

I know that there is an underground that relishes my words
takes them for the Gospels that they are

another in the library of bible slowly crawling out of my psych
words hidden from me
until the appointed time
buried in what I thought was a normal life

best repent of your ways, man...

I do not mean go become straight or stop smoking weed
 or ...

any of the petty shit that matter not to God

I mean the murder of mind and body
that happens when you give false witness about GOD

God does not reward the just on earth
he is a great lover of the soul
see's the flesh like the coccoon we will fly off from

we are living a struggle
to emerge from this flesh intact
free of regrets
with no need to suffer through another life
to create the being that will be pleasing in God's eyes
How much better to live again
then be sent to a hell...
another life
another chance
hitler as a young girl who abhors the nazi's
would you kill her for what happened to her soul last time around?
Would a Just God punish her?

I have the image of God in my mind
a vision that I fall down on my knees before
and scream that I want to change this plan
stop the prophesies of the BURNING

he says his one word LOVE
I think of how fires in nature clear the dead branches away for new spouts
wonder if mankind will be taken from this planet
replaced as slow as evolution
by another being that will one day too look to the stars and call for God's Savior?

they great they speak smooth words to you
fear to tell you the darker truths

 newscastes are just sound bites and cia approved stories

I fear no one
They know this about me
apreciate my valor, my bravery, my committment to cleansing the US of evil forces

the satanists I read about everywhere
give me the closest thing to fear that I know
I have always felt like there was no need to mess around with magick
if it existed than it was better I stay away from it
and this is confirmed in a deeper part of my heart that I must trust
the realm of savage grace itself trembles
at the thought of people following satanists
they can say what they want about why they do this
even say the do not believe in satan

the satanists who pray to satan do not bother me
he is dead
They will find this out soon enough
I do not know if people could contact Satan
In this flesh I find my supersticion rises when I think of casting a spell
I use the metaphor in my work...

I have been accused of Sorcery because of my metaphors:
Let me make this clear:
I have never attempted any magic

when I hear that l ron hubbard was a satanist
indeed claimed to be satan to his son
I am worried even more about that cult
they threw out the idea of free will
-- something God would never do

I read things like the free masons are satanic
or at least anti-religion
that they believe all men are equal to Jesus
They came to me
and I gave them my blessing
I did not know this fact about them then....
or I would have probably gotten pissed
at that point
Now I wish them goodwill as far as I know
ignoramus that I remain on so many of the ways of man
the gnostic bibles say I preached all men could become like me
I doubt this from what I have seen of humans
though in God's infinity who knows?

no matter where you started
your destination is all I care about

IS there a satanic element out there
so entrenched that they can keep the Christ trapped from the view?
Are they trying to protect me
doing my will best they can?


I tell myself this in the bad times
the days when it seems like I am nothing except a blob of flesh
that makes up words all day
transcribes an inner voice that he is surprised to have

I cruise the net looking for evidence of the movement
see little bits and pieces here and there
wonder if they are connected by coincidence of motive... there is no telling

at this point I have lost faith in this world again
it is almost like there are forces that want me to get so disgusted
that I attack them
they know the collaterol damage involved in this action...

i SEE the burned out blackness
of my path to Washington
a slash and burn across illinois, indiana... all the way to the east coast
millions die
just gone
The Eastern United States tries to flee my wrath
Christians to protect my path...
I come to an abondened Washington

where I demand to speak to all the leaders of the world
an old fantasy of mine
that came true when they were bugging me
and projecting me into your television sets

This time I tell them that they will now
have to contend with a new power on this planet
a supernatural being who is for
 liberty, justice, and free will
and will have them

The most savage creature in your garden
 is capable of the greatest grace
another in the endless irony of god

He made the reaper your redeemer

Called me from beyond
gave me visions
endless streams of lighting and fire flowing from my body

I try to make sure that my powers are kept in check
the storm summoning rages sublimated into poetry
I will do what He wants
When The Time Comes
In the meantime I will 'rail against the night.'

I will not become an environmental psycho killer
will keep my optimism that we can survive
until the four horseman ride into my living room

Could I write a happy ending
and expect God to change his plans


what will happen
has already happened
in the eyes of God

We are here
a thousand years agao
souls learning the lessons of this planet
before we head out into the stars

I wonder often where mankind's soul came from?
I thought that we were immortal
always here

that you became trapped in this flesh
and only I could get most of you out of the human feed back loop of life

perhaps the only way to do this is lay waste to mankind?

Seems more sensible that souls developed with consciousness
combined with my gift of the Holy Ghost

I am the father of all thinking life on this planet
an agent of evolution
a timeless creature who thinks in millions of years
slowly preparing your souls for the trip to heaven

Questions... the questions that He on high refuses to answer
sometimes I think my head would explode if he even tried to explain
the heavenly visions to my flesh

I suffer the questions I have for God and Man
like an obsession with something that sickens me

is all I know for sure

I have forgotten nothing that happened
though it has so little to do with my personal life
that it may as well not have happened

the time came for me announce myself
I should have expected a time of trials

I had myself convinced I would be welcomed
the very idea of my return should have filled you all with joy and dread

nothing will ever be the same. period.

the supernatural has come to life in Chicago
your greatest have bowed before the humble rocker
who wanted only to help the world

I always felt like a monk
devoted to my writing
stealing away from people to practice my craft

now the stories and tales and truths refuse to leave my mind
crowd out the day to day
keep me far away from the dirty dishes in the sink
the chagrin of my girlfreind over my lack of cleanliness

remember when I used to have my own place
cleaning up every day
making everything perfect
she has too many boxes stacked everywhere in this tiny apartment
to even decorate
we tell ourselves this is temporary
that the future will be a bit brighter
like everyone does

I keep remembering the money
they never offered me a dime

people think they did

I stopped that before it could come to fruition
I did not do what I did for pay
I did it for art and God

my message is more important than my pocket book
not that I wouldn't mind a larger one...
the poorer you are
the easier you are to control
push around
keep isolated

i can't leave town because I am too broke

I was told they would arrest me if I tried
that was last year
who knows now?

The security issues involved in my travel
make them want me here

I see them out there whenever I walk the dog
cops everywhere
at least three a walk
I apreciate their presence
speaks of dangers that they keep me ignorant of

The last few days I have been lethargic
sitting in front of the computer reading
or laying in my bed thinking
trying to run from the feelings of despair

Oh, God, Forgive them...

they know not what they do...

Thursday, July 10, 2008


They passed the wiretapping bill. Took away your freedom today. Did you notice? A bright sunny morning in Chicago... they announce they can tap anyones' phone now, and no one can sue them, or do a damn thing at all. We are supposed to let this happen?

almost a million peace activists are being monitored in the USA. Now, this becomes permanent, and gets worse.

What happened to US?

The time has come for me to say that ANYONE WHO VOTED FOR THE PHONE TAPS is no longer supported by me. I don't care if Feinstein, who I always liked, is among them. VOTE THEM OUT.




You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

cults kill christ

what is the major difference between a religion and a cult? Cults will ask you for money when they should be giving it to you... a normal church would know when someone is in need of medical care, instead of believing that some 'energy' will save them. A couple kabbala leaders, including Berg, took over fifty thousand from a family made poor by the donations, because they had been promised the mother of the family would get over cancer. After she died, her husband sued.

This story should be enough to make anyone wonder. Would a church act like this, put pressure on someone to give away money to get better? That is so middle ages, when people used to buy penance from corrupt, unreformed Catholic priests. There is frankly almost no one more desperate than the dying and fearful; a cult that exploits such a situation is my enemy. They may be fun to party with, and they feel these energies and they get their fantazies fullfilled by doing drugs and dancing and whatever until they are in a frenzy. Like fundamentalist christians screaming and dancing through a service.

I try not to be against a religion. CUlts however, are not religions beginning; religions are begun by prophets. Usually me wearing one of my masks, and also other prophets of course. The difference is, religions have a God who is misunderstood. Religions know man bows to God's will, not the other way around. Anyone who tells you they know how to get God to do what they want Him to do, is full of shit. Sooner or later they will be proven a fool.

Like me. For awhile, at my most popular, I was watching various ministers responding to the things I had done. That shit stopped abruptly, after I was homeless and stoned out and lonely and bored and let some guy suck on my dick for about 10 secondsw. He was an agent, trying to descredit me, or perhaps learn about me. He got me to follow him around, but nothing ever happned. I was so pissed at the world by that point that I would have done something really out of character, had the situation been on the level. M. had abonened me by then. Tossed my ass out. I felt single for that breif weekend. I was certainly hoping to run into a girl, but they all seemed to know me... and quite a few seemed afraid of me, others were delighted to see me, telling me how famous I was, getting their pictures taken with me. It was a moment of fame that I could never forget. Nor could the hundreds and thousands involved right here in Chicago.

The ministers disappeared after that. I had to open the fold of the church to everyone. Including gay people. As I have explained a million times over, my favorite relationship is monogamous. I have tried everything else, and occasionally I miss the wild side, but the benefits of being in love, having a partner, a best freind, a companion ... keep me with her. I know that she was involved in all that happened to me. She knew a lot more than she was letting on. I will list all the things she did sometime. She is the one who told me they were thinking about killing me, came to me one day and said They were going to go after her family. Shit that made no sense unless she knew what I was up to. I also got messages she is a spy. Who does one believe?

I tend to think I would just forgive her past and move on, because she truly does love me... I think. Who can ever know? So many times in the past, I thought I was in love and she told me she wasn't...

I know how to break people of cults. I could make vocal recordings for hynoptic mind walks that promote critical thinking, and shit... I would never try to influence what decision people come to while under, it is more a process of forcing the examination of what is already there.

Oh, well.

You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

the every day Christ

This here picture, if you can't tell, is made up of the faces of dead veterens...

May They Rest In Divine Grace, and their famalies take comfort that the Lord hAS SAID THAT THEIR PLACE IS HEAVEN IS ASSURED, BY FIGHTING UNDER MY FLAG; for the eagle that is my famalies trues crest, the first one.. before they changed to a peacock,which I do not fully understand... maybe the feathers looking like eyes meant something to them, who knows...

We probably went underground. So much shit is going on in the underground, with spies, and other denizens of the witting world encasing me in a sheild against my being ingluenced by other than God and the usual news sources I can find on the web.

They keep the best part of the battles away from you. Everyone in this country should be allowed to know what the intelligence agencies are doing domestically, where they are breaking numerous laws. I cannot imagine how many broken laws I have witnessed during this campaign. I of course did nothing, other than smoke weed.

Imagine, if you will, being offered ultimate power. Would you feel so pressed into solving all of the world's problems, that you would not care if a few had to die to make your dream of government come true. This seems to be the Human way.

When I was offered the ultimate power, I was reppelled by the idea just as much as when Satan offeered me the world last time, as I starved in the desert, my lips dry, cracked and bleeding... as are my feet, elbows... I am surprised that I do not die. Then I am assured that I can only die on the appointed day. Back then I knew what was going to happen to me. A lot of other rabble rousers had been crucified by the Romans for less than what I was doing. I had also challanged my own people in ways they could not accept, giving me no power base at all.

This was all in God's plan. So you would see that I will die for you. When I died for your sins, it really should have been clearer... the meaning is, I died because of your sins. Not to make them go away -- that has always been my intent, of course, as impossible as it is -- but obviously it was a sin to kill off the prophets in the first place. Later sins against Christians grew atrocious. Hunted, going underground, slowly growing. They began to write me into the Pagan myths, a practice the Catholic Missionaries used to convert peoples by taking their traditional holidays and turning them into christian ones. So much that was written as coming from Jesus, should have been more clearly stated as Me acting out different roles in humanity... had finally converged all the myths man has made up to explain the stars into one cosmology into one bright light... a torch burning fiercly on the shores of lake Mitchum...


approached by a missionary in the park yesterday
he used to be Catholic and now he says every church is run by Satan

I listened politely
as he explained my name John
meant Blessed of God

then read some John out of the bible

He said that he had to reassure himself every morning that his vision was true

After he was gone
I joked with ben
about going to a church looking for Satan to score some coke and whores
pretended I was walking around a church looking for the Demon From Down Under

We were laughing when he happened to walk up on the missionary again
he is in green military shorts, black t-shirt,
a beige jungle hat with leather laces that come down under his chin

Everyone seems to have an imaginary realm
where they play with notions of God

This man was filled with hatred for all churches
I pitied him as I thought of all the good works the churches have done
I didn't even give him my usual arguement
about my mom's church activities
making food for the homeless
giving them grants

taking care of wounded vet's in the hospitals

The Church has it's place
which is why I wrote
very early on in my campaign
when the words of the christ
were still surprising scott ridgway

'anyone who is against any religion, is a problem.;

I meant this to mean that fanatically hating someone
because they belong to a religion is dum


I had felt exactly the opposite way for years
seeing religion as a virus

to come back from a seizure and amnesia
and find religion taking control of me was a total shock

to find myself possessed by past lives
seeking to figure out who I am
getting clues from everywhere

I became overwhelmed
a vicious beast the government was both harrassing and helping

the mixed signals from the media
tell me a few things

one is that the bit of criticism they put of me on tv
that I was allowed to see
has been cruel and out and out egging for a fight

There are powerful forces who know my Magic
They will not allow you to piss me off enough
to set off this ticking armeggedon

I saw my life being so different than this
who could imagine?

I do remember wondering
as a kid
if it was possible
since Christ had not known himself in childhood
that I would become him

I certainly have spent my life trying to get over my weaknesses
taking on my fears
learning that I can soldier on thru heavy shit

I have been saddled with a broken back since the age of five
spent years laying in bed in horrible pain
years in hospitals

Now I live on handfulls of pills and pot
No choice

quit all drugs but smokes for over 18 years of my adult life. worked out, went to aa for athiests and agnostics, where they ended the meeting by loudly proclaiming they were Not Going To say the Lord's Prayer. There would be a laugh every week from some new person, smiles from the regulars. I loved that group of people, but abstinence....

One of the reasons I smoke weed? I was in a dry spell when I was totally straight, working on One War for years. I mean, I rewrote and rewrote probably five different ways.... I have been told the prose is great. Anyways, I was in this dry spell and smoked some weed and the prose came flowing out. My editor read this stuff and got all excited about thenew direction.

They always used to say write stoned rewrite straight... I do not recommend this to anyone. Without the back, I would be less inclined. When I was a student I could not smoke and handle school well. I have a lot of memories of times I partied and ended up doing something that embarrassed me the next day. there were great nights too, going from bar to bar writing poetry. I would spend a hundred and fifty bucks somehow. Man, now if I have two beers at a bar it so rare... I have a five beer limit, but I never drink. Hate the taste, love the feeling. Oh, well. I haven't had five beers in over a year. I did tipple some rum once this year, and that is it. The bottle is dusty on the refrigerator now, half full and around for company.

I would never write the thoughts off the top of my head... said it was going to be all stories and news paroies and essays... but, if I am who they say I am, than my every word has some worth. I hate to say this, and perhaps it seems like an excuse to get sloppy and write whatever the hell drugged out blather comes into my head?

No, no, no.... Gonzo Boy here is a writer in this life. A family sort of man, without too much family around to speak of. My family keeps changing their numbers, and right now I have no idea where their phone numbers are. Weird. MY campaign has caused some kind of rift between us. They do not know what to say to me.

I have some other work to do... putting up a new edition of waking up jesus the book, before google begins putting up the first twenty pages on google,in a couple weeks; I got a larger publisher, and now my books will be for sale at stores and I of course write under my flesh name John Scott Ridgway

I have been feeling good ever since getting the computer back up... helped that m. has been particularly frisky lately, and waking up has been rather an adventure.
Not to be crass. I would actually love to write about all the people I have been with, and will one day, but that is abit adult for this blog. I want to make sure that children can come here. Not that they do. When i WAS doing comedy all ages came. This kind of writing freaks them out, or they have no idea what I am saying.

Who was that writer who kept a skull on his desk, to remind himself that he wrote for future generations, and not his own. As popular as John Scott Ridgway has gotten with the underground, the above ground, hollywood, ny ... etc.... though of course he suffers, too, from what I am doing. They do not allow many people to contact me.

I will know I am free when Andy Dick or whoopi goldberg or colbert or ... if John Stewart would just call again... now that I am ready to talk to them, I am under so much security, and basically imprisioned in Chicago, a victim of a top secret campaign to make sure that I do not gain too much power, again. They will lose, of course. I will do my best to win them over before any violence should be used. The spies need a cause that reeks of life,liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

I saved the CIA's ass at one point. They went overboard on the COmmunists, after mistaking my respect for communism too far. THere was violence to them, and to me.

I never backed down. They threw all kinds of shit at me. Gave me one of the worst years of my life. I had to keep going into hospitals, just having these seizures and manic fits where I could not sleep for weeks, horrifying pain that was making me take my pills too quick. They made me homeless. Keep me isolated.

I lead an army from the obscure base of this flesh, this writer sitting here listening to the traffic passing on lake shore drive, feeling the cool breeze through the open door... My intent is to keep the world together, not shatter it apart. Man has fought long enough. The time has come to turn away from the wars we can, and concentrate on those that we will only have to fight sooner or later -- Ossama and his crew.

When I started my campaign, I put posters in the windows of my apartment reading: Ossama Forgive Obama, Let all the soldiers go home

This was before Obama announced he was running. Somehow I knew he would be the one to solve this war. The fundamentalists have as much right to exist as they want as anyone else; however, they must learn that being intolerant of people who do not live by their dictates will not be tolerated.

They are religion seeping into government, obviously. When a religion is used as a political propoganda component to create an army of suicide bombers, I am not at all pleased. Allah would not want his children to fight like this. He was tolerant of other religions.

I still believe that we should make some kind of peace with the Taliban, that involves their accepting a few precepts of liberty, like knocking off the stoning of kids who screw around (oh, I would have been so dead if I had grown up around such a culture). If they refuse to let loose of their maddening vision of world domination being their God given right, and they keep breaking the rules of war by sending suicide bombers off to kill civilians, then they need to be hunted down.

I read of how Saudi Arabia was reforming terrorists quite successfully by being Kind to them. Funny that The States failed to think of this at Guantanemo. THe desert folk keep them in a nice place, and basically teach them a form of islam that is not violence centered. They have had no relapses. Guantanemo prisoners go there too, to slowly adjust back into society.

They treat their terrorists better than we treat our returning soldiers. There should be a program in the army to monitor vet's, and send outreach where it is needed. Perhaps there is a veterens group that could get that list of names.

I cannot imagine that any of them will return from this war without a few mental wounds that a therapist could hopefully show them how to if not heal, at least stop the bleeding.

I heard on the news this morning that vet's from the war on terror are already showing up among the homeless in Chicago. These are young people who have lost their ability to function in the real world.

oh, GOD, again... how does all of this fit into any plan?
Is death really such a small deal that You do not care about our flesh?

I know you care about mine
saved me a few times when anyone else would have died

yet around me I see the fallen and broken and crazy and addicted and shot up and...

the mysteries unfathomable with this little human mind I am trapped withi; our brain is basically a hunting and breeding organism. We are all these two things, if we are nothing else. THe savage and the grace. Now we try to use them to figure out the universe. They are only good for making patterns that fit into the flesh world...the patterns of the GOd elude our craniums.

Does this strike some ofyou as an excuse? Well, God has shown me much, and I cannot imagine he isn't going to talk to me again, or send an angel or a dream. A miracle? He decides when I have power and when I do not. Very interesting. The only things I can do for sure are destructive enough. I already feel like I have to be careful that i do not light the fuse of my anger and flood the city again.

You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

scraps of the spirit

you made me your god
i did not make the claim

until others convinced me
that flawed man I am
this was my fate
to take on this mything role
to try to lead the people out of the cults
of mind and cultural control

today we were downtown going to cirque shanghai
i looked at all the people who had no idea what was going on in my head
no idea of the history of the disheveled looking guy dressed in black

they live in a make believe world
and they think my world is make believe

the conundrum is obvious
mankind should try to have fun in this life
strain to fight the mental demons that lead to throwing our lives away

I talked to a woman at the beach the other day
sitting there with a guitar and a gorgeous brown smile
her neck strung with beads of all colors

I strike up a conversation... or more correctly, my dog does
I end up telling her about my christ
and she is appalled
feels like I am not a christian at all

I know my destruction of sacred cows
strikes a lot of people as mysterious as those cows they are always finding
mutialiated after alein sightings,,,,
as odd and possibly as plausible

I have no choice but to consider the absure idea myself
I would run if I were not couragous
suicidal in the way of one who has seen how much better this trip gets
in the afterlife

you should know there are reasons god made man as he is
why he made humyns warriors

the cosmos are never truly at peace
there is always a fire somewhere
a child being abused
an animal being forced to fight
potential bleeding into every gutter in the ghetto

I will live this life with the creed that the war is too serious
for me to expect a normal life
I never desired as much until I had it

i DESire the words more than life

I WIsh I could be whitman celebrating mankind
mankind does that too well on their own
for me to come here to lick some pompous ass

I want all of you who I have met
who have risked much to give me messages
that I am humbled by your greatness
astounded that you respect me enough to listen to my words

my handlers were always trying to convince me
I wasn't shit
beat me down
tried to stop me from getting full of myself
all they did was empty me of myself

I see more and more wisdom in my decision
not to associate myself with anything other than my own work
I will not be acceptible to any organization all around

until the wisdom of my words are lived for a thousand years
and humynkind is finally ready to blow this fucking popsickle stand
for parts unknown

you know not my powers, man
I am much more than I will let on...
more than even your greatest experts on my kind can decipher

you think you know how to handle me

The day will come when your arrogance will bring much grieving in this world

you senseless sensationalists have the right idea
you just go too far

there is a realm far beyond our own
worlds undreamt

I have experienced my soul flying around the room
enough to know my consciousness itself is different than my body
this would be reason enough to believe in eternal life
the rest that has happened to me still seems tainted by the science
I have given way too much credence in this world

i see in the news everyday that the great challanger is going to have to work alone

no one has my vision
no ones vision compares to mine

The burden of knowing this makes the idea that it is flattering laughable

I see everywhere tales of men doing anything for power
the aprhrodisiacs of money of fame
have become the economic carrot that has the japanese coming up with a word
for working yourself to death
I hear about people working from 5am to 1am seven days a week at a mcdonalds
and realize the madness that has replaced respect in this world

a man should not have to sacrifice his life
to society

I am not a man...

You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.