The Forever War

the forever war

Disturbed

Distraught

Desperate

Monday morning news gives a solemn count of the weekend murders

between jokey weather and sports

TEN shot DEAD over the Fourth of July in Chicago

There is a breif shot of two parents hugging and crying

images of yellow police tape and cops in bulky, blue body armor

the smiles come back as another story rolls around

can't be too negative on the morning show

I picture their brothers and sisters waking to the darkness way too young

wanting revenge... or justice

mostly wanting to turn back the clock a day

tell their loved one not to sit on the porch that afternoon

they'll round up the rival gangs and shake out a few gunmen

destroy a few more lives

add the eighty high school kids shot down this year

and you have an urban war

Weapons flowing in like the sewage

they stopped five people coming into the fireworks with guns

one gang banger had a sawed off shotgun in his backpack

I never see the violence

Live in a different world than the killers

miles from the deep southside

miles from the deep westside

miles from the entangled lives of gangs

the disease of young warriors raised on rap

looking for street cred because nothing else pays as much in respect

Nobodies taking their backs in the business world, the schools...

No one else offering them money and the knowledge that if anyone messes with them

they can expect worse in return

guerrilla wars raging

between kids with uzi's and M-16's

on the quiet side streets where they feed on the addicted and demonized

fund their wars just like the other Taliban

When the US attacked Iraq

Mayor Daly went on TV screaming that Bush should attack Chicago

That he would welcome the troops to come in and stop the violence

drugs illegal... prohibition driven gangsters in Chi-town

we've been here before

different was the rich and powerful used that drug

The Metaphorically Handicapped live in a world of words

Ignore the facts to stay ensconsed in their mental defense system

they could legalize this shit and STOP the flow of money buying the guns

terrorist groups all over the world would lose out

the citizens would save money on prisoners

lives would no longer be shattered

kids wouldn't be dying from stray bullets every damn day

kids wouldn't have any reason to fight to the death

ahhh.... we live in asylum

Sanity is medicated away as depressing

da life

in da city

You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com, or http://thereligiouspsychokillersshitlist.blogspot.com

Google John Scott Ridgway for other works.

god is slightly gay... article by Mark Mumford SFC... I'm going with 30%

Remember? That positively adorable pair of them, at the Central Park Zoo, who had adopted an abandoned egg and then hatched it themselves and were raising the chick together as a couple, even though the chick was clearly not theirs -- though of course how penguins can actually tell whose kid is whose is still a question. Never mind that now.

The best part: the story was absolutely true. The book, "And Tango Makes Three," was beautiful and sweet and touching in all the right ways -- except, of course, for the fact that it was also totally evil.

For indeed, the penguins in question, named Roy and Silo, were both males. This meant they were clearly in some sort of ungodly, aberrant homosexual relationship, mocking natural laws and defying God's will that all creatures only cohabitate with the opposite sex and buy microfiber sofas from Pottery Barn and eat their meals in silent resentment and never have sex.

Worst of all, the book depicted this relationship, this "family," as perfectly OK, as no big deal, as even (shudder) normal. After all, Roy and Silo didn't seem to give much of a damn. Tango sure seemed happy, what with not being left for dead and all. As of this writing, the Central Park Zoo has yet to be swallowed into a gaping maw of sinful doom. Any minute now, I suppose.

I am right now amused at this because it turns out Roy and Silo were not really so much of an anomaly at all. Nor were they some sort of unholy freakshow, an immoral mistake in the eyes of a wrathful hetero God. Far from it. Turns out they were, in fact, far more the norm than many humans, even to this day, want to let on.

Behold, the ongoing, increasingly startling research: homosexual and bisexual behavior, it turns out, is rampant in the animal kingdom. And by rampant, I mean proving to be damn near universal, commonplace across all species everywhere, existing for myriad reasons ranging from pure survival and procreative influence, right on over to pure pleasure, co-parenting, giddy screeching multiple monkey orgasm, even love, and a few dozen other potential explanations science hasn't quite figured out yet. Imagine.

Are you thinking, why sure, everyone knows about those sex-crazed dolphins and those superslut bonobo monkeys and the few other godless creatures like them, the sea turtles and the weird sheep and such, creatures who obviously haven't read Leviticus. But that's about it, right? Most animals are devoutly hetero and straight and damn happy about it, right?

Wrong.

New research is revealing so many creatures and species that exhibit homosexual/bisexual behavior of some kind, scientists are now saying there are actually very few, if any, species in existence that don't exhibit it in some way. It's everywhere: Bison. Giraffes. Ducks. Hyenas. Lions and lambs, lizards and dragonflies, polecats and elephants. Hetero sex. Anal sex. Partner swapping. The works.

Let's flip that around. Here's the shocking new truism: In the wilds of nature, to not have some level of homosexual/bisexual behavior in a given species is turning out to be the exception, not the rule. Would you like to read that statement again? Aloud? Through a megaphone? To the Mormon and Catholic churches? And the rest of them, as well? Repeatedly?

Would you like to inform them that such behavior is definitely not, as so many hard-line Christian literalists want to believe, some sort of poison that snuck into God's perfect cake mix, nor is it all due to some sort of toxic chemical that leeched into the animal's water supply, suddenly causing all creatures to occasionally feel the urge wear glitter and listen to techno and work on their abs?

And so we extend the idea just a little bit. Because if homosexual/bisexual behavior is universal and by design, if gender mutability is actually deeply woven into the very fabric of nature itself, and if you understand that nature is merely another word for God, well, you can only surmise that God is, to put it mildly, much more than just a little bit gay. I mean, obviously.

But let's be fair. That's not exactly true. God is not really gay, per se. God is more... pansexual. Omnisexual. Gender neutral. Gender indeterminate. It would appear that God, this all-knowing and all-creating and all-seeing divine energy that infuses and empowers all things at all times everywhere, does not give a flying leather whip about gender.

Or rather, She very much does, but not in the simpleminded, hetero-only way 2,000 years of confused religious dogma would have us all believe.

God's motto: Look, life is a wicked inscrutable orgy of love and compassion and survival instinct, shot through with pain and longing and death and suffering and far, far too many arguments about who did or did not pay the goddamn mortgage.

Life on Earth is messy and bloody and constantly evolving and transmuting and guess what? So is sexuality, and love, and connection, and what it means to exist. And if you uptight, hairless bipeds don't soon acknowledge this in a very profound way, well, it ain't the damn penguins who will suffer for it. You feel me?

This, then, is what science appears to be trying to tell us, has been telling us, over and over again: Nature abides no narrow, simplistic interpretation of her ways. Nature will defy your childish fears and laughable behavioral laws at nearly every turn. God does not do shrill homophobia.

Of course, until very recently, science was also beaten with the stick of right-wing fear for many, many years, told to keep quiet about those damnable facts, or else. Homosexuality is a lifestyle! A choice! And you can be lured into it! Seduced by the evil rainbow! Just like those poor penguins! Right.

Let us be perfectly clear. Not every individual animal necessarily displays homosexual traits. But in every sexually active species on the planet, at leastsome of them do, for all sorts of reasons, and it's common and obvious and as normal as a warm spring rain falling on a pod of giddy bottlenose dolphins having group sex off the coast of Fiji.

And either humankind is part of nature and the wanton animal kingdom, a full participant in the messy inexplicable glories of the flesh and spirit and gender play, or weare the aberrant mistake, the ones who are lagging far behind the rest of the kingdom, sad and lost in the eyes of a very, very fluid and increasingly disappointed God.You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com, or http://thereligiouspsychokillersshitlist.blogspot.com

Google John Scott Ridgway for other works.

YOU DENY ME...

kill them all

I think sometimes

magically make the criminals and terrorists dead

bloody heaps of nothing

I would I could reach my hand into your brain

press a hole into your brain with my fingers

damage the asshole parts

destroy who are

I would I could reach my hand into your heart

tearing it blooding and pumping from your chest

hold it in front of your eyes and say

THIS IS WHERE GOD DWELLED INSIDE OF YOU

Now you are dead and I will keep this God here

send you into his mighty court with no defense

I will stand by as The Cosmic War

damns you as a traitor
to the side of humanity

Your Christ Came To Earth

Expecting to forge a path of Peace and Joy

through this forest of lies

For Now you have chaned me up in Chicago

You know about me and yet you act as if I am just another human

odd

One night

when all of this was new to me

I realized that if Christ exists... hell did too

I preached that night of fire and brimstone

gave grave warnings to mankind that the time had come

to face their eternal life

You could be redeemed by my words

Instead you will stay in your mind mess

Later I believed that I had broken into Hell itself and freed the damned souls

Saw a vision of myself leading a horrifying army of blood streaked angels

Weary being carrying swords glisteing with the life of demons

I watched as we tore through their ranks

When I knew that we would win

I offered them forgiveness

After my Father toild me the time had come to stop the punishment

of the humans trapped in the webs of the great deciever

Live on...

As your world burns around you and the sky bleeds my blood

I will leave you in the fires if my fathger orders me to be merciless

You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com, or http://thereligiouspsychokillersshitlist.blogspot.com

Google John Scott Ridgway for other works.

Soldiers Pulling out of Iraq's Cities...

I saw a picture today on the BBC site, with a line of soldiers outlined on an horizon, marching as if toward home.

We are at a very tricky point in Iraq. If the extremists decide to come back in and fight the Police and Iraqi military after our troops pull out. the USA will be forced to possibly make an unpopular decision.

I want the war to end. I sympathisize with the security concerns that make the ending of this conflict so complicated that years are involved. We have to leave behind in the country a seed of Democracy. Saddam Gone. Democracy declared. The battle line drawn between the extremist jihadists and the forces of the free. I do salute the soldiers for fighting this hard, horrible battle. They are the front line. Between us and the masses of folk who would reduce our lives to their particular religous vision.

I am sympathetic to anyone who is oppressed, at war, etc... However, the Taliban and their influence is the fucking enemy to people like me, and the people I love. Oppressing women. Period. Nothing else I have to say about that religous delusion. Add to that stoning adultererr's, killing Christians, etc... Taking the women out of school is a sin against humanity itself. This is pure and simple prejudice, and however institutionalized and sanitized it is in some countries (like saudi arabia, where women cannot have drivers licenses, passports, fly on their own... the system is built to enslave, and indeed, a many servants have found themselves enslaved in such system -- remember, there is more slavery now than ever before in the history of the planet... if you do not see it all over the place, that is simply because you are not looking. People run around making opinions about Paris Hilton, instead of going after slave masters.

I mean, have you ever heard of a charity that free's slaves? You would think the black community in Chicago would be involved in such an endeavor, but they tend to think they have enough on their hands representing their communities, and with everything so ultimatly out of control in certain ways, they have to choose their battles carefully because war can break out anywhere.

The allied forces in the Middle East are the predecessors of the wars to come. Iran and Syria and other countries who are not under Russia, america or China's nuclear net, are going to be scrambling for the bomb. Lot of countries already have it, and they will not stop until they have one. One of the countries they consider their worst enemy, Israel, has nukes... so there is no way that they can go against the most demonized government in the area, unless they can fight nuke-fire with fire...

I like to think the USA could lead the world in reducing nuclear bombs, and offering help to countries who wish to use nuclear power, as long as they then sign a treaty allowing inspections, etc. Why not? They are going to get bombs if they want them bad enough, and pretending otherwise is foolish. I hope I am wrong, but I doubt that very much.... We need to go in now and do everything we can to settle this peacefully. If we continue to fly in,like Israel did with Syria, and blow up their nuclear facilities, we are inevitably going to miss one. All it takes is One Bomb, mind you, to bring nightmares to life.

How does one start a movement that transcends religous and political differences, and peacefully applies a few universal principle? I think of the soldiers like this to some degree. The principles may be written in blood at first, but freedom is something that we breath here in the usa like air, and we notice it almost as much... take it away, like happened to me when I went to jail, and you realize just what is meaningful in this world. Being Free is more important than being alive to.

Soldiers have fought for this creed on american soil for as long as humans have existed. Native Americans fought one another, enslaved one another. Europeans kept serfs and treated them like slaves. African tribes sold each other. The middle east is filled with endentured servents, the eastern block overflowing with enslaved prostitutes, children being exploited almost anywhere the law has short arms or is just plain old corrupt. These are wars that we expect the police force to deal with, and they don't.

Why cannot a people's movement be started that supports worldwide activists who call out theses industries, expose them, and try to get the attention of law enforcement officials? People would donate money to buy children and others out of slavery. I dream of being a millionaire and hiring a small army of mercenaries, killing our way through the organized crime behind the slavery, and setting the women and children free to heal in some mountain retreat.

Soldiers and activists, activists and soldiers. What we really are is the infantry -- as in how the Romans used the term, which meant sending out the youngest soldiers first into battle so they would get killed and not them. We still send our young out first to die.

I am proud of soldiers. Have quite a few in my famalies history, stretching back over a thousand years of blood. I respect the sacrifice, know what they are going through is much worse than I could ever imagine. I see their names on the tv on Sunday Mornings, the weeks' dead, as George Stephanapolous looks all serious. Some are too young to have lived much of a life at all. Others old enough to leave a life half lived behind.

I wonder at such times, if George Bush, in lying about nuclear bombs and al queda connections in Iraq, didn't cause all these deaths for no good reason at all? I remember than how much I despised Saddam Hussein and the Taliban, even before america declared them the enemy. And I wanted to see their movements stopped. I could see how dangerous religous extremists would be with nuclear bombs. God could tell them to do something that no sane man would. They want to be martyred, you see, so it is win/win to them if they kill us and die. Like playing a video game where whoever you kill goes to hell, while your fallen rise to heaven into a horizon filled with 72 virgins spread eagle, their labias looking all pink and juicy... dripping into small pools at their feet as they await their Martyr.

In times of war, no matter what our Mullah's or ministers mumble, God takes the side of widows and orphans, and soldiers on all sides, forced to go into a war where the enemy could be anywhere, anytime. How appalling. Can you imagine living in a place where at any moment, an enemy could be lurking, driving by, watching you from a window as they plan their next attack on you and yours? The very ground at your feet could betray you and just fuckig explode.

I was raised on a library in Garrett, Indiana, and heavily influenced by a series of elementary level biographies about Great Men; Lincoln, Washington, etc.. a lot of them were soldiers. I played soldier like anyone. Loved the John Wayne movies...

Then I saw the Vietnam war as a huge mistake. We were the colonialists. Most would argue that the history comes down to this -- we not only fought on the wrong side, we created it ourselves. I lost a lot of faith in the judgement of the armed forces, as well as the politicians, during those years. This one war stopped the USA from wanting to send troops anywhere -- Bosnia's Ethnic Cleansing -- the mass murder and land grab that stains their culture -- finally got Clinton to act. We saved lives. The situation was horrifying.

This was a noble cause. Not some Big Brother machine that was out to take my mind and body for the usages of theMilitary Industrial Complex; just an army sent out across the planet to stop mass murder. Had we not opened our two front war, I would have liked to see our soldiers in Darfur. Years ago. Why not?

Iraq, however we got there, is where we are... the pile of shit George Bush left behind has to be cleaned up. Obama has to make sure that the citizens of Iraq are not left livingin war zones when we leave. If the peace is that tentative, then our pledges to remove troops from Iraq should be changed. Period. It is that simple. Just say, to the american people, this is the only way we can guarantee the safety of the civilians.

Probably will not come to that. Our soldiers will pull out, mostly, and spend their time training new troops to maintain the lines of order that they have left behind in the hands of the fledging Iraqi Police Force, Army, etc...

Others will go where we should have went, after al queda, in Afganistan.

I want to see our soldiers stop the spread of this mental virus. Someone has to do confront the kind of warped minds that blow up a statue of Buddha on a mountain because it offends their religous sensibilities... bans music, keeps women our of schools, etc...

I am proud of the soldiers who removed Saddam Hussein. The people of that country have been given a gift that they will understand as the years pass and the wounds heal. There will be a day when their history books will tell about the Americans who saved their country from a dictator. Afganistan will one day tell their children about how the americans fought of the Taliban, so their country could remain a democracy. This is their revolution. Their chance change for the better. Seize that fucking day.

Why not? Today they were all out celebrating that the American soldiers leaving their city.

I follow the war. Try to imagine what the soldiers are going through, research what the stat's say about how their minds have been effected -- especially after the Stop Gapping started to unravel otherwise sane soldiers.

What are our soldiers symbolically representing as they slouch into Bethelhem? In a way, they are the secular soldiers stopping religous fanaticism. The Taliban originally got a toe hold in Afganistan and other countries, because they offered Law where there was none. They were willing to give up freedoms to get security. First things first, I understand. No one should have to make such choices, and no one can be blamed for doing whatever they could to stop the lawlesnes that was erroding their countries.

Our soldiers give them an option, now. They may hate us a bit, because we brought Hell's Own Fire when we attacked them; later they will benefit from our efforts, whether they acknowledge our footnote in their story.

TO BE CONTINUED....

.. yet writing about the world of war is difficult for me. What else can I add to the endless chatter about these wars?

Some 131,000 US troops remain in Iraq, including 12 combat brigades, and the total is not expected to drop below 128,000 until after the Iraqi national election next January.

'Now is the time'

Iraqi soldiers paraded through Baghdad's streets on Monday in vehicles decorated with flowers and Iraqi flags, while patriotic songs were played through loudspeakers at checkpoints.

You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com, or http://thereligiouspsychokillersshitlist.blogspot.com

Google John Scott Ridgway for other works.

JESUS GOING ON UTUBE...

Well, I guess I have to get over my fears of being a boring talking head in a movie. I have been writing skits, plays, stories, etc... for a long time, and the general rule with me has been that two characters sitting there talking all the time is fine in conversation, but not in a movie, story, etc... There has to be a lot more going on, or you might as well be writing an essay. Metahpor and poetic language add something to the story, as do visuals to films. My first forays into video poetry, about fifteen or more years ago, turned out nice because I read short stories while the camera was focused on a fantastic art collection my old roomate had put together. There were soulful pencil drawings, etc... from all of these art students he knew. This dude started the collection in high school and really has them framed well, etc. The drawings took away my need try to make facial expressions and what not when I read.

Later, when I started going out and reading a lot in public, and then finally got my own show and learned how to read well in public (for years, I got so nervous that my poetry barely came off the way I wanted it to... I also studied under Joel Lipman who insisted that the words on the page should be read almost without inflection, so the words, not the performer, was the star. This has kind of been done away with in modern poetry, especially here in Chicago, where Poetry Slams are all the rage, and performance poetry often relies less on words than shocking subject matter and acting. The great few do something so well that their immitators come in waves, until those immatotors finally start doing their own thing with what they learned from their predecessors, and inspire the whole process over again.

So, sitting here looking into a camera and reading will at least make me a better reader. I do not sit around and watch videos of myself giving readings. I never listened to the radio show when I was on... until later, and I did enjoy it more than I thought I would. Acting all those characters, and some of the embarrassing shit I did, made people laugh but it wasn't always the most pleasent experience for me. Though when a show went great, like when we had a live audicence that was laughing their asses off, there really was nothing like it. The hit of the audience is a great way of finding out what is communicating, but it is also a great censor... I have never pandered, obviously, in my quest toward documenting the times and expressing my opinions.

My motto is, stay out of jail... other than that, fuck with the world in whatever way it make you... with love, or guns.

You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com, or http://thereligiouspsychokillersshitlist.blogspot.com

Google John Scott Ridgway for other works.

Barnery Franks -- Sanity Award

This week congress is looking at decriminalizing pot on a federal level. How far we have come. The states have been leading the way on this issue for a long time.

Now that medical marijuana is making a state and federal battle ground on which makes the dems look unenlightened, they are surprisingly coming out and getting all sane.

The Democrats are supposed to be the party that acts beyond their religious beliefs, into the often secular heart of politics. Pot is one of the most damned things on the planet. Classes given all across the country demonize the drug. Nothing could be said of the sort about drinking, which makes up for fifteen percent of the deaths in some countries. Even though the bible talks about drunks quite a bit, but the only reference I've ever heard about drugs comes from some nutty preacher who said any mention of a 'wizard' in the bible meant someone who used drugs. This guy said this like it was some huge, horrible revelation, instead of some stupid thing he pulled out of his Harry Potter hating ass.

People in america want pot legalized because they see the benefits far outweigh any possible consequences. Taxing the stuff would balanced budgets, and if it is going to be used anyways, the government needs to step in and say, okay, this is the will of the people, so let's do the best we can with the situation. Incarceration is no solution. If pot bars were on corners, instead of drinking bars, the cops would have a lot less to worry about. You do not hear about pot crazed cops beating up bartenders.

In fact, driving on pot is nothing compared to driving on drink. I know. I drove cab in the real world, where a lot of drunks and druggies were behind the wheels. The pot heads were the drivers that everyone wanted. My first boss gave us all weed in the morning, when we stopped back during the day. He swore that stoned drivers did not get into accidents, just the drunk ones.

Anyways, this is not the best of worlds, obviously. I no longer drive stoned, though I would be hypocrite to say it caused me no problems, though they were few. It was fun driving around all buzzed up. I did not smoke until years into the experience by the way. By then I knew the city like the back of my hand, and was a very good, well paid cab driver. So the weed, when I started smoking it, was more a matter of a way to be nice to everyone. I enjoyed listening to music, cruising around the city, meeting people. It was fun. I was in on the pulse of the city, so to speak.

I saw a lot of curious and wonderful sights, hundreds of sunrises over the lake, the city sleepy at night and lit just for me with strings of lights down lake michigan twinkling in the snow. Like driving in a series of gorgous paintings, to me especially, who was always taking pictures, drawing, writing, trying to capture what was going on around me, make stories that showed some sense to what I was seeing on the street -- underlying rules and meanings that belied the often ugly sites and criminals... etc.

Now, fundamentally, we have a chance in America to kind of grow up on this issue. Push past our prejudices and accept that if we want a free country, with less crime, and an easy source of taxes to help our economy (plus less 25k a year prison sentences for users), etc... and all we need to do is say what we all know is the common sense answer --- PROHIBITION HAS NOT WORKED. IT IS TIME TO QUIT victimizing people for being individuals. Not to mention, again, the common sense answer that pot is better than drink for society, our bodies, our minds, our law enforcement officials, etc...

So, hey, barney Frank... Good Job.

This from the Stop The Drug War Site that really keeps you on top of what you damn well should be on top of. Fight for your fucking rights, man. And the rights of others.

Marijuana: Barney Frank Introduces Federal Decriminalization Bill

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from Drug War Chronicle, Issue #591, 6/26/09

In a press release last Friday, Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) announced he has introduced a bill that would decriminalize the possession and not-for-profit transfer of small amounts of marijuana. It was the second marijuana bill of the week for Frank, who a couple of days earlier introduced the Medical Marijuana Protection Act.

Barney Frank

Titled the Personal Use of Marijuana By Responsible Adults Act of 2009 (H.R. 2943), the bill would remove federal criminal penalties for the possession of less than 100 grams (about 3.5 ounces) and for the not-for-profit transfer of up to one ounce. The bill would not change marijuana's status as a Schedule I controlled substance, would not change federal laws banning the growing, sale, and import and export of marijuana, and would not undo state laws prohibiting marijuana.

"I think John Stuart Mill had it right in the 1850s," said Congressman Frank, "when he argued that individuals should have the right to do what they want in private, so long as they don't hurt anyone else. It's a matter of personal liberty. Moreover, our courts are already stressed and our prisons are overcrowded. We don't need to spend our scarce resources prosecuting people who are doing no harm to others."

"Congressman Frank's bill represents a major step toward sanity in federal marijuana policy," said Marijuana Policy Project director of government relations Aaron Houston. "The decades-long federal war on marijuana protects no one and in fact has ruined countless lives. Most Americans do not believe that simple possession of a small amount of marijuana should be a criminal matter, and it's time Congress listened to the voters."

As of the middle of this week, the bill had five cosponsors: Reps. Tammy Baldwin (D-WI), Maurice Hinchey (D-NY), Ron Paul (R-TX), Jared Polis (D-CO), and Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA). The bill has been referred to the House Judiciary Committee and the House Energy and Commerce Committee. No word yet on any hearings.

Ten states have already decriminalized the possession of small amounts of marijuana. Those states are California, Colorado, Maine, Minnesota, Mississippi, Nebraska, Nevada, New York, North Carolina, and Oregon. In an eleventh, Alaska, the possession of up to an ounce in one's home is not just decriminalized, it's legal.

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You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com, or http://thereligiouspsychokillersshitlist.blogspot.com

Google John Scott Ridgway for other works.

BLASPHEMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just turned on my site and scrolled down.... to find an ad for SCIENTOLOGY. I had put adsense on here for the hell of it... never expecting to make a dime, really. Seeing Scientology advertised... there is not enough money in this world.

I have been watching cults for a long time. Anonymous, to me, is one of the most exciting organizations to arise from the Net Culture. Scientology has hidden behind the idea of religious freedom too long. We live in a world where you can con yourself with your religion, but you cannot expect the government to go along with the con. They only started calling themselves a church because of tax problems, and trying to get tax-exemption status. A purely cynical use of the Cross was made in thie symbol.

Man, I have a lot of reasons to despise the mental paradigm of Scientology. I am sorry that the faces of the damn thing are actual people with feelings and freinds and family. Still, whether they know they are involved on a con or not, governments like France and Germany are going after them and hopefully will drive the money-making-mindscape from their shores.

Funny, one of my freinds girlfreind was bitching at me the other night for getting my buddy interested in cults and especially Scientology. There is more out there exposing that cult than almost any other. Still, I go to THE RICK ROSS CULT INSTITUTE almost everyday and read about daily cult activity all over the globe. They also have an extensive list of the various cults, what they believe, their sins and excesses. A great site that has taught me as much as any course I have taken in the topic.

We as human love when we can see something that is clearly evil that can actually be dealt with. There is few any of us can do to stop nuclear bombs, war, eco-destruction... We can point out when others have been BRAIN WASHED, and try to stop the people who use such techniques for evil purposes. There is genuine research on how to wash a brain. THE PYHSIOLOGY of BRAIN WASHING AND CONVERSION was one of the most interesting reads. I read this when I was around seventeen, and it basically showed how the brain could occasionally overload on types of electrical activity during a conversion experience, and radically change the person. We have seen this since time immortal, it happens. Now, they have of course figured out how to make this happen to people for their own purposes, to convince them to be a part of a cult, etc..

Talk about the evil side of science. Psychiatry for those too cruel to actually treat patients.

On other levels, this brain washing, is going on all the time around us. A culture is being represented in what we allow on our billboards, what is polite talk, which politics are accepted or demonized. We live in a larger organism, a human geography that has MENTAL GRAVITY. Basically, our cultures beliefs are the paths we walk.

Policing Our Culture. Sounds scary. Thought police and all. This is what a closed press means in North Korea.

I am sick of this cult using Religious Oppression as their rallying cry. Makes those who truly are religiously oppressed seem trivial.

If they were truly being oppressed, rather than exposed, they would all be going to jail... or at least the upper-echelon.

Still.... whenever I write about this, after hearing Tom Cruise built a five million dollar bunker somewhere because he is afraid of the people criticizing him, I feel like I have to add that everyone in this cult has been victimized. You have to understand that first, and forgive them for being human beings. ANYONE CAN BE BRAINWASHED. They just happened to fall into the wrong hands at the wrong time. Taking down Scientology is inevitable. There are thousands of such movements in history that come and go, and their shaky foundation and creepy creator give them little hope of surviving in any influential form.

Remember -- that could be your brother in the cult. Your dad. These are people who have been put through a physiological process to make them as they are. They are the result of research into selective scientists by a con man, coupled with something that is inside of all of us.

You have to forgive the individual, and attack the institution. Anonymous will fuck up severly if they, or their supporters, ever resort to any kind of violence, or even vandalism. Scientology does all of that stuff, and they would love for anonymous to lose the moral high ground by fighting fire with fire.

So, no more adsense for me. Scientology ads on this site would cost me more than any man has.

Still, we cannot let the idea of religious oppression seem like a fiction. It happens. It also just so happens that scientology is not a religion at all, but a story, like Dungeons and Dragons, that Hubbard got bunch of people to believe so he could take their money. They are run like a Mafia on a lot of levels, with the added creepiness of intelligent agencies that gather all the dirt on their appoinents, try to break them, keep the Southparks off the air, etc..

You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com, or http://thereligiouspsychokillersshitlist.blogspot.com

Google John Scott Ridgway for other works.

After the last hospital

I walked out of the hospital, after a couple weeks of being fed seroquil and told that my symptoms were not being caused by the pill, but treated by it. The first person I ran into as I came out of the sliding doors of the hosptial was a hippy looking guy, sitting on the sidewalk. He asked me, "Still religous?"

I replied, "I'm Jesus Christ, what do you think?"

There were all kinds of signs that psychiatrists were never going to believe what I was going through. I spent a lot of time in therapy, and I know their limitations. Anyone treating Jesus would have to assume their patient was crazy. I was not about to be treated for something that is a religion, basically.

There was no talk therapy anyways. They were testing the Christ, not treating the patient. I am sure that some camp want me to forget who I am again. This is the only way to keep the status quo. The only way for people who know I would have a judgement against them to stay sane as I return.

I have made great allowances for how unique this situation is. However people look at me, whether spiritually or pragmatically, I kind of figured this was unprecedented to most. People expected my return in some circles, though even they were surprised. Mostly, I am ignorant of the good and bad that has been done in my name. At least that which is directly tied to me.

Would psychiatry had kept me on the same drugs, I would still be in a frantic state, living every moment like I was trapped in a myth. Why did they do this? I suspect they wanted me to look foolish. That is a fairly well known tactic. Why did they make me look good is as puzzling to me?

My memories of myself are as a man. Flawed as any. Trying and failing and trying again. I see no reason for anyone to hate me or love me for what I think. I should be an equation in a huge problem they are working on, the formula for their own view of the world. Their personally cosmology would be much less for using just me.

I am a man who feels in way over his head. What the hell do I know about trying to help this world? Nothing more than a lot of other people, it seems to me. I can be a lightening rod for an issue, little else.

Poetry is the word of God. Bob,

The man who asked if I was still religous, in the summer of 08, was the face of these events bare and honest, as they were for a brief period that the religous madness kept me from really participating in. The writing was too vital to be allowed to remain in the ether. Or so I thought.

I do not want to think that there is a cult of personality out there that would expect me to their God. When this happened for awhile, I had to shut that down. People find their own salvation. No one is ever going to give it to you, though many will try to sell it...

If I were to come to earth and just declare, okay, Christianity is the correct religion... and anyone who doesn't like that has a war on their hands with the Son of God? The world would have burned itself down into cinders and mushroom clouds.

Bettter I just tell the story of a Christ who has been reincarnating as all sorts of beings, including prophets and jesters, seeing all the various sides of humanity. Better I never start a church, get a follower, build anythng more substantial than the relationship of a writer to their reader. Just know, though... My religion is here to stay, inside my quiet heart. I AM here to stay.

You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com, or http://thereligiouspsychokillersshitlist.blogspot.com

Google John Scott Ridgway for other works.

humiliated

I was humiliated

Humiliated

mortified

stunned into hate

lashing out with whatever words

crossed my pain ravaged mind

why are they looking at me...

why are they taking all of this so seriously....

why... why... why...

You left me alone with such thoughts

one mind against millions

I thought I had a choice

take life seriously or don't

laugh or scowl

run and hide

or stand up and fight a losing war

the litany of the fatalist

raised disconnected

minimalized

thrust out drugged and ravaged

into your minds

a creature noticing the blood of his birth

hearing the screams of his mother

Why were you surprised when

I cut off the hand that feeds me and ate it?

Stick your hand in the cage of a beaten dog...

I have come to take you home

disbelieved and disheveled and distraught

a dangerous creature born into a morass of myths

Truth whispered into the wind became a storm front

I watch the world unraveling around me with disbelief

either I have been played by man or God?

humiliated

Nothing left to lose but my shame

they leave me alone with my thoughts

a modern monk

a kept monkey

caged angel

an idiot savante poet

who lost control of the plots in his prose

the wreckless destroyer

reluctant to even pick a flower

I did not choose this

I am not the narcisstist with a mirror on his podium

trying to get my hand in your wallet

I am more than you know

a mystical factor no one can predict

You stole from me when your dow was at 1400

lost 6 thousand points for your insult

I understand enough of how this works to see the consequences in the cosmos

God has entered the flesh and nothing is as it was before

Those who know well who I am should heed these words

my forgiveness is not my Father's

What you do to me will cost you

denial alone is not enough to dispell this curse

We stand now on Common Ground before God

Judged not by our power in life but our worth in spirit

The Meek have inhereited the earth

Bucked Up

The summer sun slouches in

Lazy and hot and tired

Our bodies slow down like lizards on a noon warmed rock in the desert

warped sweaty slumbers take the place of crisp, cool sleep

wombed into the humidity

content to be a splash of feelings

enjoying that panarama

knowing

somehow

someway

we will pull this off...

or at least put off the end

for another idyllic day

stupid little films

we fear most what we say between the lines

the unspoken messages we can't hide

We seldom lower our shields of persona

too dangerous in a realm without logic

where the demonization of man

makes the mundane seem satanic

a christian an object to be stoned/reviled

lands where conversion is illegal

realms of sects battling

for control of the Law

we fear silence itself will betray us

that our distance from the putrid mess of politics

gives our tacit approval to the excesses of sociopaths

laws unto ourselves alone at night in our thoughts

the pyshics of movement suspended for a flight of mind

we make stupid films

as a boy it was hitting a homerun in the national leauges in baseball

later I developed an elaborate sci-fi fantasy tale that I told myself

a bedtime story that lasted years

I would just begen letting the story roll and fall asleep

over the years that fantasy grew elaborate

my girlfriend told me that she thought a lot about me when she went to bed at night

I told here about my sci-fi fantasy and she hated me for destroying the mood

I am laying in bed and am contacted by an alein craft

Telling me that I am advance scout

Who has set off an SOS

calling his bretheren to come to the aide of the fledgling life of earth

I was always getting ripped off as a cab driver

took these frustrations and told the aliens to cure the planet

they were going to have to kill off segments of the population

child molesters, rapists, murderers...

In their death a decree is left, describing their sins...

which the aliens have been recording on the long journey

using the eyes of thousands of planets to diagnose the disease on earth

All of the worlds leaders would be transported to a sports stadium

They would be told that War was stopping that very day

Should another soldier raise a gun, they would die

total war for total peace. A sad and brutal end to a sad and brutal time.

the problem with my story is that I forget the billions of other characters

who rightly so would probably disagree with me -- change my mind given a chance

I would never want to see humankind so clinical toward their fellows

As the aleins in my musings

the propagandists can make it so for the emphemeal truth of a speech

create witchhunts in our minds

limbaugh's ditto heads and Hillary Clinton --

a woman

hated by simply fanning a few flames

in otherwise dim minds

Used to be a law called equal time in the states

give one side and you have to give the other

Now one side is fine with Fox

stupid little films

they take my aleins and make them our neighbors

create painted birds for the pack to attack

Wading out into the on-rush of words

the first thing you notice is that belief is qute different than truth

belief in a psychic phenomena that needs no facts to exist

we take almost everything on faith -- the trains will run, the sun will shine...

faith is an amber that can warm you

or burn down your house with your family inside

inspires Ghandi and David Koresh.

an abusive lover indifferent to our pleas

our default companion

when we walk off toward the reaper

NOTHING REAL IS

Life on the Bounty

A Captain Bligh on every side

Eyes in the passing neighbors

Eyes in the sky

Eyes in phones

Look out of utube

up from Google Earth

read every internet line

everyone see's a bit of the same sky

calls it their own

everyone experiences a bit of the same god

calls it their own

you hear the undertones of violence in the news reports

the barely maintained beasts among us

out there hunting right up until they are hunted down

violence is the duty of some and the madness of most

i watch drunks and crack heads getting busted on Cops

mostly they roll in after someone has already been stabbed

and try to sort out what happened

I call the show let's watch drunks getting busted

M says one more episode of the show will push her to suicide

I see her point of course

there have been times I couldn't watch that show

like slowing down to watch a car wreck

other times I am sociopathetic,

conditioned to feel no emphathy by the bruising onslaught of Pain

the violent scenes from my stories

seem ghoulish

repulsive

the real blood

makes the fake seem perverse

On Being A Man

I met a girl in the park one day, reading a bible and looking a little desperate. I am not sure how we started talking, but she almost immediatly told me that she used to do drugs and drink and have promiscous sex (oh, how I hate to hear 'used to' and 'promiscious sex in the same sentence).

She was very, very earnest, suddenly, clutching her bible to her breast and asking me in a voice on the edge of tears, "Is there a Jesus Christ? I mean, is there?"

Strange thing to have a stranger ask me? There I was, having had a Christ personality rise up out of my psych, a series of mystical experiences, etc... enough contact with the supernatural for it to have become natural, though this was nothing I ever sought out.

I thought for awhile Christ was the invention of a Roman Politician of sorts, someone who could be used to give people a religion to follow, which was condusive to their governments -- indeed, controlled by them. For most of our political history, religions have controlled what government was in power, and still do in the middle east.

I didn't want to give her a flippant answer, though I am not so sure I want to talk to some stranger about my deepest ponderings. I cannot explain what I feel is going on in the world in a few sentences, let alone answer a question for someone else like, Is There A Jesus. This was answered for me in my own time. No one's sincere opinion on the matter meant very much to me at all. I liked the idea of God, but the world around didn't seem like it was controlled by any God I could understand. I felt like, "If this is God's World, then he is a fuck up."

I wrote once that God was drunk when he made man. An awful accident.

Now, I have this long version of time in my mind, man from the period of being a one cell animal, and on up to the species we see today... and the birth and death of planets, and stars... in infiity, such things are always happening in such numbers that to try to count them would soon enough fill a universe with zeros..... in this vision of infinty, the bit of time that we are on this earth, no matter how long some moments seem, are nothing.... simply, flat out, nothing. What you do here is such a short bit of time in Infinity that your soul will one day remember this life in a string leading back infinitely...

I remember suddenly that I was writing about being In Loyola Park, at the beach, in the fall, talking to an attractive woman in a puffy, insulated blue coat, clutching a bible to her chest and imploring me answer the most important question some people ever ask themselves???? Is there a Christ?

I wonder how much she knows of me, then realize the only reason she has come up to me at the park is because she is aware of what has happened to me. I forget sometimes, that I live in this vaccum, an enemy of the state. The character in my own personal fiction in Chicago, where I play a private citizen and the world gives me the illusion that i am a man. There is still a part of me that can never answer someone's question about what I am????

I can only tell them what I have experienced. From there, they can think what they will. It makes no difference to me just who I am, or what I am. Every political, and most religious, systems are made up of fictions -- again, only the force produced is real. To me. I am not going to get trapped believing a lot of things that are purely speculation.

Like a lot of people who became highly secular, I was ready to write off religion as ... pretty much, brain washing. People got themselves to believe that they had someone who was always there to hear their problems, and steer them in the right direction. Another being inside their heads.

The loneliness of merely being alone with your thoughts goes away when God is there at all times. When I did believe in God, I was fairly earnest at times. This always went away. I just ended up thinking that even contemplating God was a big waste of time. A waste of Time. Seriously. Like reading rarly descriptions of history filled with ficitons meant to prop up the leading personality of their cult. I was fascinated by them as a group, in a way, but their beliefs becaming inter-changably absurd. No one was going to prove there was a god. Everyone told me as much.

So, the woman in the park.... She had been reading before I walked by with the dog. I finally anwered her question about Jesus. "I'm pretty sure that there is a Jesus. I've had some odd experiences in that area myself."

My answer disappointed her. What if I had answered, "Yes. There is a Jesus."

How could I explain to her that yes, there is a jesus, though the person they read about in their bible is an often poor representative of the flesh of Jesus, Son of Joseph and Mary. I did not want to encourage her to join some church to worship a strict set of rules that man imposes upon man with no regard to the real concerns of God? I would not want to send her to a church where they tell her that 'she has a history of being promiscious.' She slept with a lot of guys for awhile. So what? She blurted this out along with being a recovering addict, so maybe she had some serious problem, but from what I have seen, people who get a drunk a lot indulge in promiscuity sometimes. I did. I hardly consider this a sin, but her church did. They told her, more than likely, that sex outside of marriage is bad.

Well, in reality, that all depends. Single people want to have sex, as well, and should. This is one of the healthiest, easiest ways to make life bearible, I guess. There were times when I felt like my entire life was falling apart, but I still had a great sex/love life, which was what meant the most.... which it didn't, actually, since hunting and gathering come before sex to most folks, but it was a nice rock to crawl up on and bask in the sun.

Sin. Different people go beyond sin. Some think that there is nothing that they do that they will really be punished for. Murderers and theives and the like. Prisons are filled with people who flat out did not think they would be caught.

I can remember nothing else about my conversation with her. Just her face, looking like she was asking me if Her Father was alive or dead?

I say yes, in these books I write now that the world is in on the buried secret, the treasure from Heaven that men have lived and died for manifesting on the shores of Lake Michigan...

I was thinking about the dream I had about endless lightening flowing from chest, and lava from my back... the one of three dreams, one showing the face of God, and another showing me a buddy being beaten up (which indeed was happening when I dreamt it). I wish I could decipher something metaphorically pleasing out of these images.

I can see them as nothing but the depressing thought that armeggedon is going to destroy the earth, and we are going to fly off toward the Father. This sounds like such a cop-out to me.

A thirty rock episode commented on my The Burning Episode. which is exactly what I was writing about the burning, and had a clerk burn down her business so she could get out of her responsibilities.

I took this as the thought that I was ignoring the problems in the world, after coming to the conclusion that all planets die. Every single one. And if I AM,then I have to face what that means. If all of the prophecies are correct, and my dreams validated, there is going to be, at some time, a cataclysmic event which will destroy all life on the planet. And it will take this to release all souls from the reincarnation cycle. The Time when the end will come, it says in matthew, is known not to the son, or man, but only by God."

"Hello, Mam, I'm Jesus. I'm here to end the world. Uh, wait, it's not as bad as you think..."

No, much, much worse than that.

You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com

http://thereligiouspsychokillershitlist.blogspot.com

HTTP://generalfactorx.blogspot.com

http://secretposse.com

There is some overlap... but they are all different.

Illinois Politicians refuse to police themselves... what a surprise... not.

below is part of an article by Carol Marin, who is an ace, seasoned, and respected reporter for Chicago's Democratic leaning paper, the Sun Times. Over the course of the last few months, the political cabal here in Illinois has been pretending to put together a reform bill... what they ended up with was a lot of talk about how they were going to end to corruption, and . . . nothing. A bill that has been gutted of any use to voters. I hate to think of all the tax dollars wasted paying them for debating an issue. That is all they did. We paid for them to spew hot air about how rightous they were, when they knew from the start it was all a cynical ploy.

The only solution to this mess is a state wide, grass roots campaign, built around petitions to put this issue on the ballot. We need to stop believing the delusion that politicians will put their self-interests beneath those of their constituents. As voters, we need to use our powers. One of the most powerful ways to avoid having to bow down to the polticians fucked up games, is to petition.

From The June 3rd Suntimes, Carol Marin....

What passed the Senate --campaign finance reform -- was watered-down, loophole-ridden legislation. It gives House Speaker Michael Madigan -- the real governor of Illinois -- and Senate President John Cullerton even more power over passing out money to their favored candidates.

As this debate played out, plenty of you have tried your best to weigh in. You've called, written, faxed, and e-mailed (except to Madigan, who doesn't bother with e-mail).

So far, it hasn't made a difference, something Collins understands but doesn't happily accept. "We came from the view that after all the eloquence, all the scandal, that the sky was the limit," he said by phone Friday.

"The state" said Collins, "did not get what it deserved."

No, it didn't.

In just the last eight days, consider the news stories that have come our way while the Legislature has been in session:

• • A fund-raiser for Quinn offered "face-time" with the governor to donors who were encouraged to give a suggested $15,000. Quinn later called it unauthorized and a mistake.

• • Sen. Roland Burris offered yet another crazy, contradictory explanation of how newly released federal wiretaps on which he was recorded discussing campaign contributions weren't really "pay-to-play" conversations with Rod Blagojevich's fund-raiser brother even though they sounded exactly like "pay-to-play."

• • Ald. Isaac Carothers of the 29th Ward was indicted, like his alderman-father before him, for allegedly taking $40,000 worth of kickbacks from a clouted developer who allegedly funneled third- party political donations to Carothers' aunt, a Cook County judge.

All three stories, in one way or another, involve campaign cash.

Illinois is at or near the bottom of the national reform barrel when it comes to regulating political donations. But hey, it's right at the top of the list when it comes to legislative creativity. It pretends to regulate what political action committees or party leaders can give to candidates even though it puts absolutely no limits on "in-kind" contributions such as staff, television ads and direct mail.

While there are federal limits of $4,800 per election cycle, our "un-reform" limits are a laughable $20,000 for a state senator. Quinn is apparently so desperate to declare a reform victory that he's willing to say with a straight face that this is the best we can do.

It's not.

And a courageous member of the Democratic majority, Rep. Julie Hamos, made that clear in an impassioned speech Friday on the House floor, demanding to know why party loyalty should dictate that rank and file act "like lemmings" for their leadership.

If the House votes to support this un-reform bill on Saturday, she's clear: "It won't fool the public."

Below is a comment I left on her site.

What a surprise... Machiavelli lives on. Everyone should read that slim book, THE PRINCE, and see just how the politicians and others stay in power. The recipe is there, written hundreds of years ago. I always used to say that some neo-con gave Reagen A Machiavelli coloring book to explain his 'role' as president.

A Poltical Reform bill needs to be drafted by people outside of politcal offices, and put on a state ballot, where the voters can decide for themselves if they want reform.

Relying on these boofs to police themselves makes No Sense.

Mark Twain once said, "I don't vote. It only encourages them." Right now, we have a decent president because people decided to once again think that there might be some 'hope' in the voting booth. The politico's in Springfield are displaying the kind of behavior that destroys a democracy by making cynics of the sane.

Madigan and other entrenched forces of Machiavellian politics have given whoever runs against them a good speach or two, and with the two major newspapers in Chicago working hard to make the change toward open government and attacking corruption, progress might finally be made.

Obviously, if on such a simple issue, that everyone wants, the polticians still ignore the people, we have no real opposition party in Springfield to protect the interests of he voters. No, right now we have a crew of polticos from both parties who agree on one thing -- they will not pass any legislation that could harm their re-elections.

You have to wonder if only a new party, like the Greens, will be independent enough to do what the voters want, instead of whatever serves to get them re-elected?

CHICAGO LOSES 5 million a year to corruption....

This from a study of local corruption by UIC's political science department. The belt strapping that I told you was going to finally force people to clean out politics is here, and paying a 500 million dollar a year price to keep Daly and his corrupt Machine in power is a luxury that we can no longer afford.

500 million. I guess he could give the cops their raise if he was not corrupt. Interesting Irony there.

Today, we are hearing that his nephew joins his son in being exposed as sleazily making his way through life with his criminal connections to the Machine. This time, the Daly faction took money out of retirement accounts and spent it wildly, losing millions... makes me think that 500 million figure is low balling -- especially when you consider the sale of the cities parking meters for a price that was much lower than it would have been if Daly insiders had not set themselves with a sweethear deal.

DALY IS SELLING PUBLIC PROPERTY BEHIND OUR BACKS, BECAUSE HE CONSIDERS THE CITY HIS PROPERTY. HE THINKS HE OWNS THIS TOWN. TIME TO SHOW DALY THAT WE OWN HIM. AS WE DO ALL POLITICIANS...

PEOPLE ARE BUYING THE PUBLIC'S PROPERTY, BUT DALY THINKS THAT IT IS HIS... The city has already been shown to be losing money on the deal with the parking meters -- they could have been sold for a lot more, but Daly wanted to keep the issue from being discussed by anyone before he shoved it down our throats. If he was serving the Public, he would have wanted a discussion of what he was doing, so he could get the best intelligence possible together to make a decision.

That kind of logical, round table logic bounces off dictators. Daly is as close to a king as this country has seen. Runs Chicago like a fiefdom. Since this is a Democratic terroritory in the states, his power base has proven vital in national politics. His power is our power, we think... if he is a little corrupt, oh well... he inherited that mess and had to deal with it best he could.

We forget that we pay for his standing army. Pay in getting officials in city positions that they are not qualified for. Pay in losing the representation that would be ours if the Alderman were not afraid to piss off Daly. We need a Mayor who you can hate or love without fear that you will not get what you want from the city unless you go along with da king.

As we continue our study of public corruption, we have discovered that our

original findings underestimated the level of corruption in recent years. We now know

that more than 1500 individuals have been convicted of myriad forms of public

corruption since 1970. Based upon the testimony before the Illinois Reform Commission

and our own research, we now believe that the cost of corruption, or “corruption tax,” for

the Chicago and Illinois taxpayer is at least $500 million a year. This is based upon

testimony before the commission that about 5% of state government contracts are given

out to political cronies and campaign contributors and on our own tallies of the costs of

the major scandals over the last four decades.

In our last report we provided a detailed analysis of the 30 aldermen and former

aldermen convicted of public corruption since 1970. In this report we describe some of

the major scandals of the last four decades, a timeline of more than 375 convicted

individuals at all levels of government, and a further analysis of some of the costs of

corruption which have caused us to revise our estimate of the corruption tax. The details

of these scandals and their costs are included in the appendices of this report.

Our research on all aspects of corruption is continuing. But we provide this

update to support the report of the Illinois Reform Commission and to contribute to the

ongoing debate in the state legislature. Only comprehensive reforms can lessen the level

of corruption in Chicago and Illinois, currently the capitals of corruption in the United

States.

Given the high cost of corruption, we cannot hope to adopt a prudent city, county,

or state budget without reform. Otherwise we will continue to pay too much for

government services; we will keep honest businesses from locating here; and we will

slow economic recovery from the current recession. Citizens will continue to distrust

government at all levels and consider tax increases unfair.

Here are a few examples of some of the costs of co

You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com

http://thereligiouspsychokillershitlist.blogspot.com

HTTP://generalfactorx.blogspot.com

http://secretposse.com

There is some overlap... but they are all different.

DALY'S PEOPLE TOOK AN ENTRY OFF MY SITE... THAT MALICIOUS LITTLE PRICK!!! HIS TIME IS OVER.

I just discovered that someone took a post down from this blog. One that was critical of Mayor Daly. The first of two I wrote just before my computer mysteriously could no longer access my internet account. When I called to tell Comcast the problem, they snottily told me that the problem was with my computer, and not theirs. Nothing showed that to be true on my end. I was suspicious at the timing, since I have been knocked off line before by the government and the other forces that oppose me. After writing this critical article, I saw people protesting downtown that Daly needed to be removed, and the two newspapers in town started a clean government campaign.

I forget sometimes that my words are so potent. They make an enemy of me at their own peril. The Daly administration is now on my list of entractable powers that need to be kicked the hell out of politics.

I do not care how strong they think they are... a simple, unending litany of the sins of this administration should be enough to drive the king con out of power.

The audacity of these people is matched only by their short sightedness; this is a system of law we live in that despite its faults, is ever-evolving. And we are evolving toward fairness -- the more people who demand it, the sooner it happens. The inter-net generation is not going to fall for the usual scams, simply because they will access to a diverse set of opinions to take their own from.

And people will look for other people to treat them fairly, and will act adversly to those who do not. Daly has set about launching a hell of a lot of unfair agreements with developers and god knows who else -- the most recent being the selling off of the parking meters in Chicago to an inside group for a huge discount that would not have survived being played out in the free market. He hid what he was doing until the lastt minute, then shoved it through.

He needs secrecy to survive. He can blow off all the reporters he wants at press conferences, but he cannot so easily blow off the voters.

The Democrats have to be ready to replace him with someone who is nationally known, and respected. Jessie or Johnathon Jackson should take a stab at the fat round baffoon. Sooner or later, someone is going to knock him out of power.., and since he has decided to fight me, you should expect this to be sooner rather than later.

Cleaning up the world has been my concern. Now I AM ready to put a razor focus on this Criminal. He rose from a family that bestows rights without qualifications. Think about that. Chicago politics, for most of their existence, have been run by people who looked at their core constituents as people who they had bought with jobs. You do not necessarily get the best people when any chump off the street who likes to take the easy way out is hired. This is part of why they are always ending up in jail.

Daly wants to come on my site and take down my criticism of him, ... that is a drum roll from their side that we at war. WITH A HEAVY HEART, I HAVE GATHERED MY WEAPONS FOR WAR AND RODE OUT TO MEET THE ONE WHO OPPRESSORS MYPEOPLE.

I am always sad to see someone is my enemy, though I knew as much when he double dealed with the cops on their raise. Chicago cops have a hellish job at times. They have made a lot of mistakes, as humans do, but like soldiers, they deserve every forgiveness for cracking under the pressure of protecting the public -- that is a natural reaction to having to do shit people would otherwise prefer to avoid all to hell. I do not want to romanticize cops. TV does that enough. Still, they deserve some respect for putting their lives on the line to protect society from predators. I am not saying they should be let off for crimes -- indeed, they should prosecuted to the full extent off the law, because part of your oath as a cop is to the law. When they break the law, they are no longer a cop. They may have the badge, etc... but then they are just another enemy of the people. Like Burge.

Torture is in right now in the highest rooms of this country, and in a lot of countries getting beat up by the cops and tortured into a confession is routine. I can understand the impulse. I also know that I would never give in to it. I have left JOBS where they asked me tell lies -- because I will lie for my own purposes, like everyone does, but when I am asked to lie for someone else, I am entering a conspiracy to protect another from what is obviously going to be criminal behavior, and that is uncompatible with most of my ethics (God knows I break unfair laws, but stealing from people, etc... is beyond my moral understanding -- I could not live with myself when I am acting immoral. My depressive side takes over. This is why I gave up the drinking.).

I need people like cops more than I need a Daly. I have a vast capacity to rally people, unprecedented in human history... which is exactly what has been prepared for the RETURN OF CHRIST. Like the people who immediatly left office when I wrote a poem about how the mighty will fall before this Christ.... Daly would be better off planning on getting out at his next attempt at re-election, though I suspect he is like Cheney, and will defy the people's rights to a choice in what their politicians do until the very end... when he learns that the people usually get what they want in the end, simply because there are more of them and time and society tend to work like that, or there never would have been such a thing as Democracy, and the entire world would by now be run by one king, who if he were a Hitler, would gas his enemies. Or a Cheney, who would send out his hit squad.

Daly is the face on a vast conspiracy of crime that has invaded politics and found a welcome home in a club that only the vastly wealthy or influential can even enter. Politics in this city has become a means of passing along a corrupt dynasty. We should be better people than this... we can be. The choice truly is ours, not Daly's..

Bring it on Dick, I will defeat you . Ready to take the great gamble? Ready to see just what kind of forces I can rally to send you packing?

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There is some overlap... but they are all different.

THE WAR FOR THE SOUL

I use the metaphors of war too often for the tastes of some. In a philosophy class with Dr. Sarah Hoagland -- who is one of the great moral figures in my mind, someone who know has to be taken into accoount in my thinking on a lot of issues --- talked about how we needed to change the metaphors in our mind to become a more peaceful being, and the class wrote from the perspective of using metaphors of peace,, etc...

True enough, we can become more peaceful by forcing ourselves to learn to think in terms of peace. One way of doing this is to pray for those who are your philosophical enemies. The human has intrinsic worth that has nothing to do with their behavior -- what I call their souls, and most have the ability to change into better beings who do not repeat their aberrrent behavior. Most anyone who reaches middle age can look back to their youth and see stupid, destructive paths that they went down -- usually because they knew no better. We have to offer others forgiveness to forgive ourselves.

When I drove cab, at first I would get stressed out and scream at everyone for fucking up in traffic... I was like a cop around a million criminals I could do nothing about. As time passed, and I put in the godzillion hours it takes to make a living at that job, I found that all of the stupid things other drivers did, I sooner or later found myself do. I cut in front of people when I felt I had to. I accidently went before someone I should not have at a four way stop... etc. I never ment to harm anyone, but I set off the FLIGHT OR FIGHT reaction in other drivers, and they freaked.

After a few years, I became buddhistic about affronts from other drivers, taking them as an aberration in the driving habits of otherwise good people, which is how I was viewed by the sane on the road. An seeing the insane anger everywhere on the roads made it absurd to me. This was a natural shift in the metaphorica meaning that someone cutting me off in traffic meant. This new metaphor that defined other drivers as good people who do rather mundanely things wrong, like making mistakes while driving that lead to pissing off other drivers with everything from taking an unearned right aways to accidents.

I was thinking about these issues yesterday, as I discussed hatred with a couple good friends, and I actually felt a lot of hatred rising through me as we politly discussed how these two had gotten rid of their hatreds. J. had us once again watching star wars. When we were roomates, and driving cab together, I would come home day after day to find him watching star wars... for months. This was prettty bizarre to me, since I was just starting to hang out with a crowd I will call 'gamers,' and they were.... they had come together at a game shop, an old school one with board games in a back room where pot smoking gamers gathered and found themselves suddenly meeting the smartest kids in Wicker Park.

J. paused the movie at one point, told us to shut up and listen to the most important line in all the movies. I wish I could quote it directly, but to paraphrase.... "Do not give in to the darkside."

J. says that at 13, he was full of hate, then he heard this and something dawned on him... he could hate or love. This is a guy who I have to say has a lot of anger in some ways, you see it in conversations with him, where he is very on, to the point that it becomes something of a social stigma, making him very much an individual in a country of LieBots. Despite this, he does not hate people in the bigger sense..... no rascism (in fact, he threw people out of his cab for using the N word, so like me, he has taken a stand in society and actually defends it fearlessly, like I do). I do believe that he changed the metaphors in his mind with this revelation from George Lucas.

I will never give up my hatreds, but I know that it is better not to dwell too long on them. Giving up my hate would mean that I no longer am revolting enough. One should hate injustice. Hate and love are as far as we can go in the opposite direcftions of the various scales of human thought. My hatred is in the writing, seething there like a burning coal, ready to ignite. My fires burns down houses, planets.... Placing it on paper, in the logic of language, causes me to examine what I want my anger to do. Language itself is civilizing. A means to communicate. Some think writing is meant to express themselves... I used to. And no one understood what I was writing. When I learned how to communicate as one of the pillars in my writing craft, I became much more powerful as a force in the consciousness of mankind, because language was created to tell others something. I know. I was there. My seed alone spread this Gift From God. I am the tree of knowledge. The apple that drove you from the blissful ignorance of being an animal responding wordlessly to stimula. Humankind has mourned this fall, and blamed others (women, mostly... and Satan), since first figuring out that words could make bad things last a long time in our heads, instead of being forgotten in the mind of the animal.

Think of the difference between worrying that a lion will eat you, and only caring about this when you are threatened. People essentially no longer worried. We were all like sociopaths in a way... though we cared and helped the others in our tribe without thought as well. Watch elephants protecting their wounded, and mourning the deaths of their loved ones...

In this new mind we developed, the bi-cameral mind as it has been described by one greatly influencial book in the seventies, we began to hate the things around us in our thoughts, not just hating something that was threatening our ability to live or breed for a breif period that is forgotten afterwards.

This hatred was later used in the creation of religions. We love some things, hate some things. Religion then was used to pass on knowledge, like History.

At this point in the global battle for the rising culture on the internet -- the first truly global means of spreading knowledge, the greatest tool any DECONSTRUCTIONALIST could dream up -- hatred and love are used to manipulate our thinking all the time. Humans are played like musical instruments with two notes. An easy one to play, if you so choose. Propogandists know this. Look at Scientoloy or the CIA, they both put out thousands of books, and monitor who is writing what about them (in the case of the CIA, they now monitor just about everything, if you consider that all communications on the phone and the internet are now fed through computers that look for activitivists who are both doing legal, and illegal acts)). The Scientologists were just banned from Wickapeeheadia for spreading lies about themselves, shaping the free encyclopedia in ways that stop them from being exposed as a scam. The CIA is ostensively a law enforcement organization, but they are also social planners... we see this in how they manipulate politics in various countries, by funding terrorists and rebels and politicians and other organizations that are so low key as to never be discovered.

Our hates are used by Limbaugh to stir people up so much that they cannot think rationally. If your mind is filled with hate, like this bafoon's mind obviously is, you spread the exact opposite of communication. Liberals need to use this same hatred. We should never shy away from showing our outrage with the sins of the neo cons. The reason we have two parties in this country is to have opposition -- without it, there is no one who is going to turn someone in from their party... they become loyalists not to the law, but to each other -- no different than mafiosos' who make a pledge to put their Family above even God.

So, there it is, the word of the Son Of God.... telling you to hate sometimes. Even kill sometimes.

I respect people who are committed enough to join the armed forces. They give up everything in their life to become a being who serves mankind. There are a lot of similarities to joining a religous order, and this no accident, of course -- Monks saved Western Civilization once, and everything that exists here, in a way, is influenced by coming through that Praxis ... in this way, God shaped a new way of being based on the best of the revelations I had spread throughout societies in my earlier incarnations.

At this point in HIStory, we are more in our heads than ever. This is part of the transition from what we call the satanic -- the animalistic instincts of man to fuck or fight. We want very little fucking or fighting, because we want to live by our word, not our gut. This has led to innovators writing about how we should be more animalistic, and the various myths used by hunters that being a predator is natural to humans. We can certainly live by our basest instincts, like we see in some prisoners who rape and kill with impunity within the surreal confines or our 'lock them up society'. This kind of behavior certainly seems like it is inspired by the devil, and indeed, we see people who back their madness with the ideas of Satanism, like serial killers and psychos who think that their behavior has to be inspired by one or the other, the light or the dark, the love of god or the love of satan.... However, to say this is inspired by the devil, would mean that animals who act on instinct are 'satanic.'

Satan is an angel who defied God for what he felt were rightous reasons. He gained followers who believed that humankind, in their long march to God, were trapped in heinous existences, where they were better off being amoral animals and enjoying thier sex themselves, using thier bodies and minds to seek pleasure, the brief sanctuary for our emotions in this Realm Of Pain. If satan had truly won, humans would have no higher culture. Satan saw the error of his ways long behavior he was obliterated by his son. He was obviously losing... His tactic then was to go for the leaders in society, mostly. This is one of the reasons I have been a king so often, and indeed, why I am the king of king in this life... the underground voice behind all you see in the media.

Many knew of my coming birth. The Son Of God does not arrive on earth undeclared. I would never have lived through my infancy if Russia or China had not made a secret agreement to one day go along with the revelations brought by this angel, my very presence would have caused a nuclear war. I am an asset that no one would want in the hand of their enemies.

The Republicans have been basically destroyed by my campaign against them. My plan is to leave this country with other parties. Their sustainability is gone. The time has come for the liberatarians to give the fuck up. Governments must take responsibility for societies, have got to to be the ultimate care givers, and judge, because humans often make bad decisions on their own.

I sure as hell trust Obama more than most governors and state congressmen and senators. Racism, sexism, and the environment are all issues that the Fed's have often led the movement. They only came in because they were encouraged by the People in active revolt against local officials.... because like any government, they have a lot of different issues competing for the attention, and have to be radically awakened on occasion to the new priorities of their time.

We need health insurance, and we need one that is run by the governments. Think of it, health care would save all the money keeping that stupid ass industry afloat. All of that money wasted would save thousands and thousands -- if not millions, of lives, simply by people keeping up regular appointments for check ups.... this then would save a lot of money, as prevent medicene has been shown to do over and over.

I would like to see this country use a system like was in place in the soviet union, where even doctors stil made the same as everyone else. This is not realistic with the present residents of this continent. Too many rich people have too much control -- they will not give up their luxuries without a fight to the death. This has been shown in country after country. The government controlled health care would pay the doctors a set amount, like it does now, which leads a lot of doctors to shun medicaid patients. They are selfish bastards, basically. Well, let them keep their practices, if the ultra rich want to stay on private insurance plans... I hope they go broke. Doctors and lawyers make way more than they are worth, because the money they have is used to prop up their powers... not to mention, lawyers make the laws and thus will always stack the deck in their own favor. Only a force like the federal government could confront such powerful adversaries.

I am not saying there is not a place for medicene and lawyers. These are great profesions for the right people -- the same people who would go into the field without the carrot of being rich -- I am saying we can only reign in the rouges by using the COLLECTIVE POWER OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.

So, use that hate to fight the haters. Fight fire with fire, man....

I was in charge long before I was told anything.

http://thereligiouspsychokillershitlist.blogspot.com

NO JUSTICE... NO PEACE...

how about those brit's this week? Maybe two hundred of them are going to be thrown out of office because their personal use of state money was finally made public. People think politicians are different than normal people, but they are not -- they corrupt just like any other creature under God's son. Thing is, they get away with it. In some of the harsher places on earth, like Afganistan for the last 40 years of war, even the Taliban seemed better than the corrupt politicians that they were all collectively sick of supporting for no good of their own. Any law beats no law. Now, I think the time of politicians being able to act secretly is quickly coming to an end. Of course, it takes a catastrope or two to get people off of their asses.

I came to this earth to cause trouble for the wicked and pompous. This I do from the small life on the lake, my illusion, much like the Christ had in The Last Temptation of Christ, where he imagines an entire life as a man with Mary. I feel the pull to forget this holy burden to aright the wrongs in the religions world that I think are keeping a lot of otherwise moral people away from a great source of universal love and strength. Disbelief has no place in a mind like mine, where I have been battered by the supernatural too often to play the agnostic game any longer.

I have faced a brutal god who has feasted on the flesh of his enemies. I have faced a lustful god who travelled in a caravan in the dessert. I have faced a god who lived on a mountain and wrote a few holy books that echo down still to our time, underneath the metaphors of the latest religion to rewrite my words. I have been many, many people as I have lived among humans in obscurity, coming to life again and again, a spirit taking the form of flesh to bring a message from the Father. A message tailored for the various geographies, the needs... intelligence itself, the father seeded into humankind. When i see the pattern of one being going from mask to mask, a godling awakening in another flesh, once again seeking to fullfill his mission, to prepare his people for the great journey, off the planet and home to the father.

Obsurd as this sounds, and banal... it passes for one possibility of how the rapture will play out. I saw such visions of a long journey, with souls shooting through great expanses of tubes that were made of flesh. That time of feeling like I was going to explode with everything god and man were throwing at me has passed, pretty much.

Funny, how embarrassed I am to describe this sometimes. I think a lot of people would feel pretty good about learning that he has been chosen by god to represent the father on earth. He chose me not because I would want such a privelege, he chose me because I would be the last to take it. I was the one who would make sport of man for suddenly thinking that I was in AMERICA for something so banal as to overthrow a government. I like government. Just give me a fair one. People need to join together to fight off criminals, and predators who think they can buy their way into easy money at the cities, and the tax payers expense.

I think the real solution comes when open government is scrutinized, and becomes something that is just done. Politicians will benefit in the end from this shit.

I dream about this stuff, but is it possible? Money buys a seat in politics, and only with money will you get one... yours or someone elses.







You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
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There is some overlap... but they are all different.

SUBLIME REVIVALS

maddening religious fervors rocking the old men in the temple
riling up the crowds with a godly mission to stone a sinner
speaking out in toungues
pissed at the latest attack and giving back
running the cancer kid away from treatment to be with god

embarrassing Christ himself with thier shills on sunday morning tv

Humans wonder why I allow what I do
Those who know what I am capable of

those who tremble to cross me too far
who know there are consequences on heaven and earth for all man does
We think ourselves into lonely depressions
instead of becoming part of a larger organism

how can we trust anyone with all the barkers standing outside the various churches
promising good lord loving and forgiving and a sense of the sacred
and a whatever... beware preachers with promises --
they make such oaths in their names, not Gods.
no one can lay hands on you and cure one damn thing. People do all sorts of things to avoid the idea of death, and that is natural, but sometimes fighting something idiotically is worse than not fighting at all. Period. Part of the lack of faith in this world is the unfairness of death... This is a very short sighted view of a much larger process. In infinity, there is a creature that is you in soul and this beast stepped into flesh knowing it would step out again; the disconnect in our thinking is pretending life is finite.

I blame God for things sometimes, too. I blame men, too. I blame myself. There is enough blame to go around for everyone in the world, sadly enough. Imperfect creatures driven mad by their ability to concieve of themselves as something more than they are... all of us. I do not expect the flesh to act like much more than a sophisticated ape, for the most part. At other times, I think we can actually put our heads together and decide what is best for ourselves. Humans have a survival instinct that is difficult to circumvent; we have been known to rise to great occasions. Still, a spiritual world makes our seem






they find the Christ turns away from the revivals passions
plays down the mad furor in his chest
the swimming back into a deep, black lake in his mind

where he is alone with the God
a time before man when there was no light
no confusion between what man has told him since his birth
and what he knows now to be true

Half the world is on the con
Playing a vicious game of whatever they can get away with
We find all the heros of our politics flawed
We have not yet demanded open government and true leadership
the lobbyiest and the other funders of the campaigns know the score

we sold the dream away
the way we always do
to the highest bidder
let the market determine how much we could pollute
before bringing the whole damn world down into bloody fucking flames






Knows now the lies that are held dear
























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the return

I am back after a long sabbatical spent mostly lost in the caverns in my brain. I have obviously had a lot to think about lately, what with the end of the world being immenint, and a new kitten to train, as well as in grown ego that has been causing me a lot of problems.

I just finally bought a new computer, an acer, with a webcam and all so I am going to be reading some of my favorite poetry over the course of the next few days and putting them up on utube with a connect back to the blogs.

I have a lot of writing to add. Still have a back log of the poetry from last year, actually... from the period when my waking up was basically tearing me apart. I have had a lot of time to think about what i am going to do now that I have basically torn asunder my old assumptions about religion... sorry to say that i am still not filled to the brim with the ultimate answers.... not God's will, I guess. I am just slopping up some words to let you know I am here... I will be back soon with a real entry.












You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
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There is some overlap... but they are all different.

mayor of da great town of chicago

My impression of Daly over the years has been pretty kind. I love that he does gets all pissed off when he is all pissed off. He shows it, flusters his words, wipes sweat off the whisps of hair on his forehead. He has the air of a man who has too many important things to get done in one life time. Born to Chicago Royalty, he had little choice in life than to take the pie placed before him by his father.

The machine in Chicago. The Machine is not all bad, of course. Or all that abnormal for the way that cities hire people. Mayor Daly is forward thinking, took over the schools and did a lot of good, and of course, on the big issues, like abortion and health care and etc.... he is on the side of the poor. He is no racist. He understands that power is a two edged sword.

The city is blessed to have him. The curse is his baggage. I made a few comments on the Sun Times cite that now knock my blogs back a age... both, by accident, were about Mayor daily and the culture of corruption. I don't want to imply that I thimk the mayor does sleazy shit. He is insulated by a group of people who would never bring a crime up in front of the boss. Or so I think..

I just wanted to write this because to say that Daly could end the corruption right now, would be infantile... he can do more, though... make it a priority of has administration to be cleaner than clean.

new book covers

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There is some overlap... but they are all different.

the new opening for the waking up jesus draft

The creature had no idea what lurked in the far reaches of his mind. He never considered the energies and angels and demons that had watched him since his inception... waiting the rising of the promised prophet. He began to grow wings at five and the pope was brought in; the intelligence agencies in charge of the child kept him a secret, secluded in a small town with no real connection to the outer world. Raised him to be a leftist, though mostly they just left him alone and watched.

Theories of course flew. Each new president who learned of the child renewed his religion. A lot of powerful people began to learn of the Angel. By the time the decision was made to try to chemically wake up the angel, sides had been drawn, theories beaten into minds and tossed out for another. The end?


At thirty two they gave him a book showing that he came from a line of ancient English kings, men who were Templers and Masons and all the crap the conspiracy theorists had been writing about since he first began to examine the world. He reacted to the book like it was cocktail party conversation, nothing to someone who was raised by a fiery woman union organizer to hate the largess of royalty in the face of the starving massas.

At 44 he was writing stories in hig blog that grew increasingly violent, and gained a big audience. He had no idea that besides the people who just thought he was funny, there were others who were wondering just what the hell the angel was up to? Some thought he was a genetic experiment, brought over by the Nazi's, others something the CIA had contrived in case they ever needed a religious revival to stop a revolution on home soil...

How surprised they were when I started my peace campaign with revoltuion poetry instead of my usual comedy. Peace and Pipedreams gained an international audience. I was unsurprisingly stricken by some kind of drugging just as this started, making me manic, unable to sleep for days, and having seizures that kept landing me in psych wards. Nothing of the sort had ever happened before. I got amnesia. Came out of it with a Christ inserted inside of me.

You can make of the facts of this book what you want. I make no conclusions of how or why this book came into being. I do know that forces in the FBI, Homeland Security, and various other law enforcement officials were very, very interested when I started a campaign called Total War For Total Peace. I had no idea that I had any kind of readership who would take my words as anything more than inspiration to get out of bed in the morning... something I have often lacked in my own life.

The poems I wrote on my website, the elves attic, which the government removed and edited, then put back up and shut me out.

One day I was a dope smoking writer living day by day, and the next I was seeing the president of the united states on the Mexican boarder, asking me if I wanted him to tear down the fence. This is after I wrote that I march in the name of Ceaser Chavez. Offered the world, I turned down this request to power, saying, "I would not presume to know."

I realized then that I had instituted some kind of coup. People were either at his back holding guns, of Bush really believed I am the christ.

Next, I hear that the second largest private army is moving into Chicago. They do not tell me why, but I know. The world believes the Christ is waking up, and they think he is me.

This would be astounding to anyone, let alone a writer who hated most religions, and felt like they were a virus. After my first seizure, when they put me in the hospital, all of this changed. I suddenly saw signs of God everywhere. Was the CIA doing a number on my head to stop me from being a peacea activist at a time when they wanted a war?

They misunderstood my intentions when they thought I was a terrorist... an alien... a nazi, for God's sake... they also used a device called a Quasar to keep my back, which has been shoddily rebuilt in a surgery that causes me constant pain, to hurt much worse than normal. This is just when I was starting the radio show and peace campaign. I was surprised into denial by their campaign against me.


These words are true...




























































You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
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HTTP://generalfactorx.blogspot.com

http://secretposse.com

There is some overlap... but they are all different.

obama....

we take a stand today on bloody ground
raise our toast to the man of the hour

pray he will bring the troops home
pray he will live his rhetoric
pray the leader of our brave new world is not a smokescreen for some cabal





















































































You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com

http://thereligiouspsychokillershitlist.blogspot.com

HTTP://generalfactorx.blogspot.com

http://secretposse.com

There is some overlap... but they are all different.

how many Obama's were racial profiled out of politics?

Legalize it, people... get rid of the gangs, the illicit money that the terrorists use to finance their wars, stop scarring our women and men with forced sexual prostution and slavery. This is an issue which effects everyone, yet the fundamentalists, the just say no nancy -- let me check with my astrologer -- nancy reagan. Abstinence does not work, it only oppressors.

On this historic day as I listen to Obama's swearing in, I hear inspiring words that hopefully will sow the seed of the new administration. Being one of those liberals who could not watch Reagen because the sleasy bastard would suck me into his patriotism... not since Hitler has such a lying scheming man used the power of propgganda with such effectiveness. Look, he convinced a country that was trying to unionize to trust their bosses, or get fired. And look where the lack of oversite got us... cheap airflights that are destroying the planet quicker than any car.


We have so many problems on the presidents new shoulders . . . he has been smart to surround himself with a round table of voices that bring all concerns to the table.

for obama to have ANY CREDIBILITY... HE MUST PROSECUTE BUSH, CHENEY AND ROVE

OBAMA MUST PROSECUTE BUSH, CHENEY AND ROVE
I have been an Obama supporter since long before he announced his candidacy, and I feel, like most American's (and indeed, countries accross the world), that we finally have a president who will CONSIDER all americans as his constituents, and not just a rich few who finance their campaigns. He could be the greatest president we have ever had, easily.

However, if he allows the past lessons of the Bush administration to stand unchallanged, he is missing a great opportunity to get to the heart of the Neo Con problem. THey will rise again unless their sins are confronted in court.




The american people deserve no less of a president. If he is going to be the law, than let him be the LAW... not just another poltician who does what is convienant.

I like most of his picks, but that Naval officer who aided in the civilian slaughters in Indonesia was a very odd pick. Obama had written about this incident in the past, and lived in Indonesia once. By choosing a man who openly backed the slaughter of dissidents, we have taken a mighty step backwards.

Pot is the other thing. This man would not be president if he had been busted as a teen for weed (which with racial profiling what it is now in this city, he probably would have been).

Obama has to do more than talk about hope... then ignore all the people who put him in power. Bloggers and artists put this man in power. He should know that well. Turning his back on us now would be a grave mistake, lead more and more people who were onced pumped to help the world sickened once more by the ways of Washington.

All political parties are a fiction
only the force produced is real

irregular modern warfare

Come on President Elect Obama, crawl out of that Trojan horse and attack these
fuckers!!!


YOU KNOW FULL WELL WHAT THEY DID TO ME... AND I AM GLAD THAT YOU TRIED TO CONTACT ME... TOO BAD BUSH KEPT US FROM TALKING. YOU WERE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME AS A POSTER BOY FOR YOUR CAMPAIGN./// LIKE I TOLD YOU, BEING ASSOCIATED WITH THIS GREAT CHALLENGER MEANS A FIRE THAT CAN BURN OR WARM...





HERE IS AN ARTICLE ON ADMIRAL BLAIR.... HIS PAST MAKES HIM A HORRIFYING PICK FOR THE HEAD OF INTELLIGENCE. WHAT IS OBAMA THINKING? WHAT DOES THIS HOLD FOR THE FUTURE, AND ESPECIALLY LIKE ME WHO HAVE BEEN ACTIVELY ATTACKED AND MONITORED BY THE INTELLIGENCE AGENCIES.

I PRAY TO GOD HE RETHINKS THIS POSITION, OR THE SENATE AND CONGRESS HAVE THE BALLS TO STOP THIS MAN FROM GAINING ANYMORE AUTHORITY. WHEN HE STOPPED INTERNATIONAL TRIALS IN INDONESIA (BECAUSE OUR INTELLIGENCE AGENCIES WERE HELPING IN THE SLAUGHTER, IN THEIR WAYS, NO DOUBT), HE BASICALLY SAID THAT AMERICAN IDEALS HAVE THE RIGHT TO KILL AND KILL AND KILL UNTIL EVERYONE BELIEVES AS WE DO. NO. WE KILL AND KILL AND KILL UNTIL AL VILLAGES ARE SAFE FOR ALL CHILDREN -- NO PARTICULAR IDEOLOGY HAS A PATENT ON THAT).

a's New Intelligence Chief Ran Interference for Indonesia's Butchers »
Posted By hyperbola 3 weeks, 1 day ago in Politics
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The presumptive appointment by President-elect Barack Obama of retired Admiral Dennis C. Blair as his new Director of National Intelligence is being greeted with cheers by the national media, which hail his experience, bureaucratic infighting skills and comparatively moderate views on national security issues. The New York Times, in a recent profile, seemed much impressed by the fact that the 34-year Navy veteran once water skied behind an aircraft carrier, in addition to his stints with the National Security Council, the Central Intelligence Agency and the Institute for Defense Analysis (from which he resigned in 2006 over conflict of interest charges involving the F-22 raptor).

But human rights supporters are right to be worried that Dennis Blair will hardly lead the charge for reform in the nation’s intelligence community after the Bush Administration’s embrace of torture, rendition and other crimes. For in the period leading up to and following East Timor’s August 1999 referendum on independence from Indonesia Blair, from his perch as US Commander in Chief of the Pacific (CINCPAC) from February 1999 to May 2000, ran interference for the Indonesian Armed Forces (TNI) as they and their militia proxies committed crimes against humanity on an awesome scale.....

.... Blair’s apologetics for murder and torture by the Indonesian armed forces in East Timor, and his opposition to trials, international or otherwise, for the high level perpetrators of mass violence, offers a sobering indication of the positions he is likely to take as Director of National Intelligence. President-elect Obama’s choice suggests that he will resist - as Blair almost certainly will - demands for the prosecution of high-ranking Bush Administration officials, much less lower level employees in the Pentagon and Central Intelligence Agency, for torture, rendition and other crimes carried out in the name of the so-called War on Terror.
Read Full Story at counterpunch.com »


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No One Speaks In My Name

I am not the United States because I live here
I am not a white supremacist because I am white
I am not a criminal because I am a Democrat living under a corrupt city and state
I am not a heretic to any religion yet I believe none of them are adequate
i am not a race traitor though I have been sickened by the ways of my skin tone
I am terribly saddened by racism though I feel no guilt over the actions of others
I am an intellectual with sophisticated literary tastes who watches cartoons
I am the most hidden person on the planet and the most exposed
I am the one of the most sought after celebrities on the planet and no one calls
I am the subject of the interest of spies, the underground and the religious
yet they try to keep this from me in most instances
I am a writer whose work changes the world and no one around me can know

I am a great advocate of the intelligence community yet I write almost constant criticism... they fail to understand my interest is my love/my criticism my way of telling them that I care enough to suffer their retributions to tell them the truth

I am john scott ridgway, flesh in Chicago they oppress and brain wash and monitor
a forgotten king who grew wings...

I am a mishmash of messages recieved during my campaign that could have been designed
to drive me mad

or tell the truth
THey said the tumours
supposedly caused by an unrelated disease and chemotherapy
were actually wings
the scars are still there and the proof available for those who are witting.

There is no over all conspiracy that I know about
just a loose affiliation of psychotic ideas that make good men go to hell

We all want fair laws to control our environment
the drug addicts want the european model of allowing them what they would otherwise
take... or earn by laying out their souls on the beds of men they despise, who beat them, rape them, and try to control them, shape them into slave workers. Pimps should be shot out of existence. If I were to lead a vigilante movement, there are certain places that I would start...

I would not go after larger institutions
or anyone that would draw the ire of the government


a man with no criminal history or connection to the gangs
could begin sniping them out easily
a police monitor and a copy of the cop pamplets on gangs
and you know their faces

I was in jail with gang bangers who did their best to make up for the fucked up life

they all sid that they joined the gang to avoid getting their ass kicked
they stayed to get the drugs, women, parties and not having to work; felt like hitting to the lottery to kids who had to eat macoroni and cheese four times a week, beg the schools for lunch money, never could afford the right shoes or gain the respect of teachers who were too numbed by the drop out rate to allow their limited energy to be wasted on kids whose busts and incarcerations already made them seem
destined for long term time in a tiny cell filled with roaches and the screams of the mad and the macho guards pretending treating prisoners like scumm helps stop the flow of shit toassed out of cells as they pass by.



My brother also grew something like this later in life
He learned from my lesson and waited for his wings until I began to awaken

They waited and waited and waited
the hysteria building


I AM

a great mystery to all around me
known by none
as are we all

I am an ocean of subconscious and a pea of thoughts I think of as me
I am a believer in free love who has set philosophy aside for the heart of one woman

I am the best friend of my fellow man and his worst enemy
I am an advocate for a green world who has never bothered to recycle
because of my apocolyptic mentality of thinking there was no way
to save the beast called man

I am the greatest cynic and a sloppy sentimental guy who kisses his pets all the time
I am the last of a line of kings and I live in the poverty of being disabled
in a country that has forgotten the poor

I am a spy on a mission who works only for the citizens of the world


No one speaks for me
No government, political party or politician
No philosophy, religion or lover
No label draws me in and defines me

I am a gathering of molecules in an infinite cosmos
I am not this face, hair, sex or race
the illusions that encase the immortal soul
have been mistaken for me you and them
we have cut mankind into disposable lots
our enemies and their citizens become a flag we are shooting down
an idea we disagree with
a way of running their precious little patch of earth we do not believe
they are more than we see or can ever know
due a respect we can barely maintain knowing what they have done

our hate and love are all screwed up
our emotions used to trip us out and flip us over, lube us down for the next round

I am not part of any crowd though I have inspired great movements
I am not a part of your bible though I write in the name of the great prophet

Most christians took all that was said in my rising wrong
used my name to take land and gold and bodies and minds
to fight unnecessary wars

in a world where every gang in prison writes their own religion
the sane words are battered by horizon to horizon storms of insanity

I will join no gang and accept their delusions for the sake of safety
I am the Gang Of OneYou are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
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Mark Twain.... the real father of this country?

Mark Twain had some of his work put away until 100 years after his death. Some of that work is in one of my favorite books, Mark Twain on Man and Beast, where he compares man to animals and you can guess who won... this was a man who was very, very famous in his time and was of course approached by strangers all the time; sometimes he would simply refuse to talk to them. Yet when a stray cat came into his yard, he would spend hours making friends, playing... I am a little more loving towards humans than he is, of course, but my sympathy in most animal/human conflicts is purely on the side of animals.

Twain lived in a time when the most base shit imaginable was happening in this country, and the world. Having a positive view of humans was almost impossible. Especially politicians. When asked if he voted, he replied, "No. It only encourages them."

I gave up on political changes in a country dominated by neo-cons padding the pocket of the rich and forgetting the poor, in a Darwinian inspired nightmare. Rich people who think they are blessed by god (famous people as well) should take heed of this thought... I, the Christ, grew up hating Royalty and Riches. OF course, the human side of me relished the idea of gaining wealth, though my spirit never allowed me to do much to become rich or famous. I knew I would be influencial, though I could hardly have expected to make the kind of splash that I have... A lot of people were puzzled when I refused to be a king, a rich man, or a famous face. Me, too. At the time, I was being drugged by the government, and highly irrational, but inside of me was the Holy Host, and He knows how to play the flesh puppet; told me, wealth and fame are the new golden cows, and you must be an example, no matter how bloody the cross.

Which brings me back to politics. We have mostly been apathetic. No doubt. There are reasons for this. One is that the intelligence community has waged a subtle war to keep certain people out of the system. They fear, more than anything you can imagine, the unions and the blacks getting together to create a European model of Democracy. The stranglehold of a two party system controlled by how well the polticians could smooze the rich for contributions cannot be underextimated. Look at bush and the stats of who he enriched -- the top 5%... the people who selfishly plunged this country and the world into the next great depression.

Which brings me to my obvious point... when our campaign brought the youth into the system, the country changed, at least enough to put a black man into the presidency... it is much more interesting that he is a liberal to me. Who cares what color he is? Well, that is important, too... as someone who has studied symbioism and consciousness creation, I understand how inspiring he is symbolically.

We have all been like Twain in the end of his life, when he was cynical and sure that the humans around us were too fucked up to save this planet. As far as some humans go, this is true. They are selfish users of the planet and other people. I do not think this is confined to any political party. Like I say, I do not support politicians, I support issues.

We forget that politicians are portals for change, and they will change shit for whoever is watching.

THe new openness that is being espoused in the political arena should be taken and run with by anyone smart enough to understand this shit. The time when we could think that burying our heads in the sand is the best way to deal with the scum elected by the money mongers is over. We can all see that this is letting them be manipulated and used by the interested of the few over the many.

I should be out protesting, people say. I was told this many, many times... the problem with this is that I am almost too powerful. If there are two opinions on a matter, there is some common ground between the two that best states reality. IF I take a side, that means I have to take into account everyone's opinion. This is impossible for me. My views are not those of the majority. I am much more socialist than the movements in this country, and the socialists have been sidelined. If I was in a country with a lot of different 'viable' political parties, I would be in the streets with you... and I may change my opinions; this depends whether the greens and the socialists ever rise to power in this country.

I am a Democrat only by default. Know this well -- God is sickened by the politicians, but they are merely a reflection of the people. Obama brings great hope to the world, though already I am seeing signs that he is too worried about being everyone's friend. Oh, well...













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Another One Of Those F*king drunken calls from president w.

I am adding this comedy story to this site for the hell of it. Just because some people come here, and others go to the elves attic and the psycho killer... site, which while recently more or less have been consumed with the same poetry and shit as in here -- the others are meant to be funnier, less serious. More like I was on the radio show, though not quite as absurd. I cannot bring myself to write out even the better routines as stories in here, because I did not like all of the characters that much. I did like Moon Bongs gerbongs, and his cat cleaning service. I will eventually do little commercial paradies using his stoner voice...

anyways, this prose more rightly belongs to Johnny Pain than Jesus... In the Johnny Pain story, Bush has been bothering him for the last few years, basically bogging his weed... anyways.... they are compiled in the book of short stories, and this is probably going to be the last one... since Bush is leaving the white house.. this gives a good ending to the tale.








Bush called me in the middle of the night. Around three am. He was out of weed and had flown air force one in to mooch some weed off of me. This is why everyone around here calls him Bogging Bush (secretly we mean that he stole those elections, but there is no bringing this up to him with his penchant for having his 'posse' beat people to, like he loves to say, 'pissin and twitchin'.

Anyways, he was all liquored up. They broke the door down, came in and did a fucking sweep with m16's and shit. He knows I have no weapons and has been bumming weed off of me forever (as a liberal green, I am an odd choice, but he just happened to be in Chicago one time and hopped in my cab, with three guys with guns, and ordered me to score him some weed. He tried to pretend he was not the president, but we were followed by four suv's and I know what he looks like. Whatever. He told me his name was Jorge (the Spanish pronunciation of George), and thought it was such a good joke to pronounce the sound 'whore hey' that he did so, over and over, always chuckling afterwards... the secret service agents chuckled at first, then stopped as he went on... until he got all pissed and ordered them to laugh when he told the joke. He was serious, too. Said something about the 'little nukie' he was keeping in his briefcase and how God told him to come to Heaven anytime he wanted, and he was just waiting for an excuse.

I sort of overheard this and all this other stuff... turns out, the real reason we went into Iraq is because Saddam once stole one of Bush's mistresses, who happened to have been a llama specially trained in the sexual art's by some obscure monastery in India that has been around for thousands and thousands of years, though no one talks about it because all these rich guys are into it and they don't want anyone to know... but if you know the right code to get into their 'llama lover' sites, which Bush got drunk and gave me, you are either going to puke or find yourself down at zoo everyday, watching and lusting, watching and lusting... until you are caught for the second time masturbating... I'm just saying, this could happen. Well, that is enough about llama love.

All I had was some shag weed around so Bush had his secret service guys beat the shit out of my kitten, Dash. I thought this was a little harsh, of course, and told him as much. He was just drunk enough to get all blubbery about it, and next thing I knew he was flying in some vet/ for the cat.. then he got to thinking about all the cats dying down at the pound, and next thing I fucking know he has the place broken into by these guys in black helicopters... he lets all the cats free, then gets it in his head that the dogs should be free too... of course he let loose all these mean ass pitbulls and shit that immediately started killing all the cats. Then one of the dogs went for one of the guys in black and they all started shooting the dogs... then, for some reason, they started shooting the cats, too. I was screaming at them to stop and shit. Typical Bogging Bush shit.

Then he got the munchies, right in the middle of this bedlam, and pats his stomach and says, "Okay, got to get some vittles ... that weed made me need... tacos, and burgers, man. Shit, let's take over a McDonald's and cook weird shit ... like Big Mac's with Quarter ponders on em. Fuck, yeah."

I had been through this before, watching them scare the hell out of some high school kids, usually Bush had at least one beaten to, quote, "Make sure you kids know that you better fucking not even think about spitting on my presidential food." Bush had a thing about finding spit in his food, because he was such an asshole and he had never cooked his own food in his entire life and people were always, indeed, spitting on it.

He forced me to come. Then he starts showing me this notebook where he is working on 'a plan to stay presidenting.' I told him that I thought eight years was the limit?
"Yea," he told me,"It is for them pussies. I ain't moving. I like the place. Someone else can do the paperwork, hell... but I have grown fond of that house, and what the hell... I got me a private army all set up to sweep into Washington and pull a coup and shit. I make myself King, see, then they can have their little president, but I will be over him. And King is for life, man... I read that in a Time magazine. For life. I deserve it, man. I got the experience, I'm still young enough to chase interns... heee, heeee, heee...Mostly though, the dog likes the place. And I got my coloring room all set up how I like it, man... how the hell can they even ask me to move? They asking you to move because they got a new president? No. It ain't fucking fair That's why I'll get Blackwater to even things out. We're just taking out the congress and the senate, replacing them with the women from the View. That way, things will be fair and all. I'll be King, and them women can tell me what to do. That way, there's a mistake, I blame it on them. I got this all figured out, man. I can't believe that fucker Clinton didn't try this... oh, yea, he thought he could turn the president thing into a rock star thing, and catch up on all the tail he missed when he in the White House trying to keep it out of... well, he just put it in their mouths. I guess the cigar got a little bit... hee, hee, hee. I love that Monica Lewinsky. I did her and her mom and their maid."
"At gunpoint?"
"No woman has a headache at gunpoint, boy. I told you that before. Nah, I didn't do that. The wife... she'd cut one of my balls off, for sure. I can't keep secrets, not the way I drink. That's why she almost left me back when I was fooling around. I'd be bragging on snagging some poontang and then realize, shit, this is my wife... I shouldn't be doing this. But you know me, that never stopped me from doing anything. Yea, fooling around... hell, at my age, I prefer coloring. Or coke and Viagra and llamas. You ain't gonna see no llama getting interviewed on hard copy."
"No. Has anyone ever tried to write about the whole llama thing?"
"Oh, the Masons have an underground, nuke proof vault filled with millions of books on llama love. Anybody who is anyone gets the llama daily. You're a peasant, so you are let in on shit like that. Like time travel and aliens and crap. You just don't get to know, because we happen to like it that way. Always got something on you. You poor people might be smart, or good at... fixing ... oh, I don't know... fixin ... stuff, yea, stuff... but you would be killed, flat out disappear, along with your 100 closest relatives and friends, at least, if you were to even whisper about this conversation in your sleep. Everything is bugged, and especially you, because if you got kind bud, I am flying in for a few bongs ... can't smoke the stuff at the White House. Mom caught me. Shit, I told her it was tobacco, but she knew better. Spanked me for the first time in months, man, and no matter how old you are, that shit hurts. She puts on her leathers and gets out her whips man. I hate it.... shit, the welts."

"Fuck you smoked all my weed, Bogger."
I should not have said this. He made some hand motion to the secret service guys and they just tossed my ass out of the limo. I forget that he considers peasants without weed worthless weight.

Man, I sure hope they find some way to get him out of the white house without killing his dog. Maybe he wasn't serious?


Just as I was finishing this, he called me and said to forget everything he said last night, that being at the White House having people 'up in his business' all the time was too much, and he was leaving. "Man, I decided, last night, to just take over Mexico. I can smoke all the fucking weed I want down there, man. Buy the local law first, then just take over the country. They love me down there. Love me everywhere, they tell me. Cheney was just saying I am the most loved president in the world. Man, it's good to be the most blessed man on the planet. And that's from Pat Robertson, so you know it's true. You score anymore weed yet?"
"No."

"Don't be calling me like this without weed, man."













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Opinions In the Press

Illinois and the renegade governor
playing elvis with his honchos of boy-men riding along
these people who think they know
the way the world really works...
the megalomaniacs amongst us

can't join them in their pits of ego belief
let alone allow oneself to become one of those centers that can't hold

could 6% of the population really be psychopaths?
people with no emotional connection to anyone else
predators taking prey

I cheer the feds in this city
to some degree at least
they are the ones who are at least trying
to bust the corruption itself

the rot at the soul of so many fucking governments
are simply toad like psychopaths who rise up in heirarchies
who take their bribes and props and stolen goods
they end badly
most
the one thing they really wanted and could never buy -- respect
goes running off from their cold corpses

the ones who feared them kick and beat their dead bodies
in books and myths and truths... mostly truths
that shake the infamous off the list of the famous

we remember the saints more than the sinners
sinners have it easy

saints have to suffer for every bit of collaterol damage their lives are causing
everywhere
on everyone
the planet, our neighbors, pets...

this is why Christ is suffering

the suffering of the god who understood, finally, how it was to be human
in the one hot black moment of hell when His Father left him hanging
on a cross
the only relief a spear in the side
the greatest blessing I have ever known


I am embarrassed for myself and everyone else
a pinpricky feeling like I have no idea what the future holds
at all

even the ugliest cell becomes home to some

I look at the suffering in Gaza and Israel and the fires they ignite around the globe

Wonder who fans what flames for what purposes?

Roland Burris stepped into the flames of A-Rod going down
he plans on walking right through without a scorch on his suite


the cursing governor doll
perfect for the hollywood press

I noticed the corruption in Chicago fairly quickly
I ignored them
never planned on needing the help of criminals or cops
just an artist
a writer of words that amused him more than anyone else
who for decades wrote away in the solitude of being unintersting
unschooled
untrained
ignorant of just how serious every damn day was going to be

how dirty and low they go in the war for human perceptions
when the great we has to defend sanity itself

when the greenhouse is ignored for twenty years
damn the costs they said
damned by the costs we respond


the judgments are here
court is open
the prosecutors have been waiting
to drive home their point
for years
since they first discovered the certain sacredness lurking in the Law
that some find and savor and others sell right off

we all need to remember suffering
and forget suffering

or suffering will subsume us

for awhile I stare into the political abyss wondering just why
I tarry at the blood splattered accident
like a teenage girl cutting herself
all i need are words
keeps the wounds internal
where my map of scars can read be me alone

I want to freeze time
move around a few of the players
on the board
take some of this power and place it there
that power there
like a general in a room of war maps
redistributing
resources

better I write pretty rooms filled with interesting wallpaper
and funny
crazed people
who are us and not us and never meant to be more
than a way to pass a moment away from reality
the stories I used to hate
think worthless, empty
water that had never been blessed
with that sacred touch I found in some writer's words


the Conan The Barbarian books I used to read just to pass an afternoon
to while away my time as I waited for... what?

back to governor elvis -- read a book on The King just a few weeks ago
from his shiny break out on the stage to his bloated, shitting himself death
you can have nothing but pity for people
who never even realized there are slippery slopes
the ones who are doomed to be used by craftier types;
the crew around him did their best to keep the kid alive
still marveled at the flashes of the crazy mountain boy out for pure fun
who could shake off the entire world and go fucking nuts if he wanted
the book is interviews with the people elvis kept around him
the memphis posse
they went through hell to share the limos and chicks and drugs

this entire state has been run by an Elvis
surrounded by good old boys who fed his president wanting ego
the kid who thought he was going to buy his way into the white house


I always hope I am wrong
that everyone is innocent
and the world can just be... fair

everyone has to pay up sooner or later I suppose
cancer catches the smokers twenty years after the last gorgeous puff
etc...

my eyes are too often on the skies
mezmerized by the question marks behind every star

expecting no answer ever
to be more than speculation
















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bittersweet year

triumph and tears
a shredding of one self for another
with all the attendant scar tissue left behind
the angry map on our souls

I think long and hard on the burden of the one who brings the end
the apocalyptic one who burns with unwanted fires

Jesus arrives in flames and horror
the hidden message behind the coloring books of lambs laying down with lions

I am a reluctant messiah...


they found me hidden in a man
the angels of awakening
brought out my voice from the opaque black parts of my unconscious
where a beast of savage grace growled and raged and nursed his wounds

a blue eyed hot blooded killer
thankful for the peace of his neighborhood, his friends, his words

I am willing to exist beyond human judgment
on a throne of my own perceptions
in a land of my own making
lecturing from an obscure podium
at a half interested crowd


The Christ cannot imagine how life can go on as before

Forgets and remembers that most people do not believe he exists
he barely feels like he exists some days
in others he gives into running away from the truth
into any fantasy that can bring a glimmer to his eye for a moment

He knows, though...

The opinions of others no longer matter.
His mission is clear.
Lead as many people as he can out of the mundane,
into the realm of the peaceful and sane and inane.


The Father's plans consume him
He cannot understand the motives of God?
The atheist he was awhile was idiotic enough to think
that if there was a plan, he would have figured it out and thus... it was not there

he hears the laughter of God... the one word He intones over and over
from the center of all.... LOVE.

What if I am here to lead a herd of souls to heaven
could I turn from such a thought?
Would it make any difference if I were to be jesus or not?

I prayed hard on blasphemy for months
the last thing I want to do is proclaim myself a god
this is the stuff of madness

what is just is

bullets and rose petals

fall from my hand
the bullets hit first
clatter harsh and ugly

the rose petals drift from side to side
elegantly, silently down

every laugh is a lie
when tears are required

I am far from the peace of faith
puzzled by where I am on this Calvary Walk


I want to be nameless
words without a persona
blank

a clean start

I used to start over all the time







































































You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
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the karma of tom cruise

don't believe in Karma very much. I have a weird view of something called social karma, which says that you can spread a certain type of behavior through other beings by acting a certain way; the basic, say hello to people and act pleasant and others will do the same.

In other words, a lot of the time, your social karma is what gets your ass kicked or kissed. This is too mystical to be taken too far. Just a sociological statement I felt that I had to make because the classic idea of Karma sickens me, blames people for shit that is not their fault.

Tom Cruise, who I surely do hope people will quit threatening, has been the target of my ire ever since I began to awaken to the problem of cults. But.... it is his right to join a cult, and it is his right to go around and talk about it. It is our right to avoid his movies, and to speak truth to their lies. Anonymous has done a wonderful job of showing how to protest a social movement that the government cannot/or will not.

Now, Cruise is building a five million dollar bunker under one of his homes. What a waste of money. People really need to make clear that when they criticize someone, they are criticizing behavior, not condemning everything a person is. People have intrinset worth. Tom Cruise is not a child molestor or a rapist or a murderer. These are the only people who the general debate grows around having killed. Everyone else deserves to live how they want. Even Tom Cruise.

I do hope that he will realize that all of the attention his cult is getting, actually means something. He is not a smart man, obviously... and more than that, he is a victim of a cult, as well. L Ron Hubbard's corpse should be dug up and pissed on, but whoever is left of his dying delusion will just become more religious curios. Read about the early 1800's america's and all the different religious beliefs people were trying on and you will see that nothing has changed.

A true religion may arise from the ashes of the conservative christian movements and the crazy cults... That religion will not be started by a guy who took a lot of speed and thought he was satan.

Tom, sorry they are on your ass... but you asked for this shit storm when you declared yourself a budding little god. You are the Golden Cow of fame and wealth, using your influence to fleece people of money with a mish mash of mind control techniques. Inside your cocoon, you do not even realize that their are actual butterflies out here...













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There is some overlap... but they are all different.

the new editions are out

LAst night, I finally got the first three new editions out. They are not going to be perfect until I once more see the hardcopy, make whatever changes I missed.... Still, the books are there and readable.

I would recommend ordering them quick. One War, Waking Up Jesus, and The Religious Psycho Killer's Shit List. You can get them cheap at this point. I got all three for forty bucks. I will raise the price once I have the books and have made any final changes that I want.

I have not finished the collected works yet, but that is kind of a joke to me in a way. I want a book that has a novella, poetry, and comedy, so people can see all the different sides of my work. I suspect I am close on that front, but... I still have a lot of comedy that has never been published. A second volumn of the psycho killer's shit list and whatever will come...










































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firestarters in Gaza

the news makes me feel like I am participating in life
monitoring the world for some reason I cannot begin to fathom

I watch the rise and fall of this and that regime
idea, haircut, verbs du jour...

A story of three angels has been banging out in my head
I lay trying to sleep on a night with none trying to take the story further
to dream out how the story will end

so far I have three angels who have come to earth to awaken the Christ
they find him as they expect to, mourning his fate and still
in the thankful oblivion of his true mission

they have plaid this scene out on other planets and times
they do not envy the Christ
He alone goes out on point
becomes a human to try to save them
from his father's judgement

At first the Christ refuses to believe the angels
Laughs at the idea

Then slowly he comes to know that he is the end
the harbinger of the big fire

The angels in the story are weary warriors
they have been warring the forces of satan
retaking the souls snatched into hell by the master deciever

They have won and now they have come for the son of God
they both fear and love him

He is a creature who thinks he is a man
oblivious of the powers he could call upon
how easily he could toss the very planet into the sun


The Christ will have endless conversation with the Angels
he mistakes His fears of His Father with Hate
became an atheistic writer of violent comedy

They finally launch their mission
take over the media and plunge the world word into chaos
The Christ is mistaken again for a man who would be King
Is tempted by the world he could own again by the forces of Darkness

The tale slowly percolates in my mind
a secret place that I go when the conversation doesn't interest me
the obsession of hours laying in bed wishing sleep would come

I feel the guilt of the bomb
the guilt of fire
the guilt of bullets

the guilt of life and death

i watch cnn while I write my poem/story idea

seeing gaza getting hit by hundreds of missiles
the jews responding to the fanatics and their bombs
by massing troops on the boarder

by the end of the night the war could enflame the smoldering middle east

the us and Israel are bound together in the middle eastern mind
they despise the americans for staying out of the conflict
for not coming to their aide

When does the rain come that puts out all these flames?
the flood of holy water
that washes us clean of this blood


i hide myself in a poem on the middle east
in a story of angels
the far back dark reaches of my unconscious
where the unknown stand and speak from opaque black

I make up the angels to have some comic relief for this Christ character
comic relief... there is no room .... no room...

One war plays out on my tv, in the middle east, south america, africa... anywhere people are picking up guns and joining a side to wage war
is the same war
the same break down of reason
the same Darwinian struggle to be free
















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The Christmas Sermon

Seek peace with men of all religions. Speak to your enemies in the hope they will see into your soul, and learn of your kindness.

The Iranian premier's speech on BBC should be seen as an attempt to entice Obama to take himself seriously, and confront the number one most contentious problem in the middle east. No more bombs... can't ignite them oil fields, or we will all burn this time.

We will not be able to lead the world if we simply choose our friends and the rest be damned. The time has come for the metaphors of war to be retired. Talking in terms of winners and losers, evil and good, etc... are all lies. We are creatures encasing souls. We do not know much of our story. So little is known that no one can be right forwever. Sooner or later, science will come up with something better.

Ending the easy conversion of Islamists to terrorists organizations, will require respect and love. This is a fuck or fight world. Pretend otherwise. I started this campaign by telling you to seek love, to fuck out your war jizz. I hope this held off some of the violence for awhile.

I have been ordered to get in the shower to prepare to go out for christmas dinner. Yum













































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There is some overlap... but they are all different.

SANTA SLAUGHTER IN LA

Santa attacked a group of revelers today with maltov cocktails and submachine guns. Neighbors interviewed on the news all agreed, "Those were some very bad kids."
Posted by scott ridgway at Thursday, December 25, 2008 0 comments Links to this post


but seriously folks.....



will Bush pardon Cheney on Christmas eve....



Will Bush Pardon Cheney on Christmas Eve? Will he? Should he? Why does Vice President Biden think that the war crimes of this administration must be investigated. And this is not politics, this is the law, as stated by the Geneva Convention (remember that document, don't hear too much about it these days... guess he's fallen on hard times, spends his days drunk on wine with a tattered sign he holds up down town saying "Torture Must Be Stopped Now."


There is a myth, probably hollywood related, that anything can be tortured out of an enemy. Now the esperts are coming over and saying that treating terrorists like people who have a mind that can be changed from their violent ways, much like a criminal who has been rehabilitated. This sounds fairly liberal coming from me, even though I am a liberal.

I do some mild consulting with the intelligence agencies. They watch my opinions and I occasionally see policy playing out that I originated. Sure am glad I studied Military Intelligence (which no, it is not an oxymoron most of the time). During the height of my powers with effecting the military, when my violent little site was read with the gallows humor that only soldiers and goths seem to have.

I started out with a campaign for total war for total peace. Put a sign in my window a few years aago reading OBAMA FORGIVE OSSSAMA - SEND ALL THE WARRIORS HOME.

I am glad to see that Obama is going to make a major address in the Muslim world. We need to show the fanatics the spirit af the american people, our willingness to help when we can, and our great love of diversity (I speak more for the majority that the pockets of delusional realms of one or two haters).

I knew when I started writing about wanting peace, that the process was more complex than just everyone packing up and going home. I wanted that more than anything, but I do not want our war to destroy Iraq. I did not want this war. WOuld have voted against it personally. Yet, bringing down Hussein is not such a bad thing, and giving a country in the middle east a shot at Democracy is a great thing. We make the best of what we have. Bush lied us into that war, and then fought this war like a personal vendetta against anyone who threatened his authority in his 'time of war.'

Homeland Security became the Big Brother we always feared; yes, we got the comforting arm on our shoulder, but we also go the watchful eye and the lawless lawman. Our use of torture can be understood in the context of stopping terrorists attacks. There are few sane folk who would choose the death of thousands over the mild torture of one individual. The problem is, we made these men guilty before a trial. This made us waste a lot of time, and destroy a lot of undeserving lives. When I read that a lot of these prisoners who sold to the americans as terrorists, though they had actually just been rounded up and sold into what amounted to a horrifying form of slavery.

I found when I started my peace campaign, that the war became more complex the longer I looked at it; my heart, already bleeding for the soldiers and their famalies who were, like my mother once was, watching the news every night wondering if one of her three brothers had died that week.

At one point, fighting the war over in Iraq and winning our way out with true objectives, I decided that the war needed to become ruthless. Snipers were using civilian houses to shoot at Allied troops, then running out the back door. Often these people knew exactly who thes snipers were, though they denied this, believing that a death sentence awaited the collaberators. I was blood thirsty during this time, knew that I was now getting people killed, and the only way to deal with this was to take the side that winning was the only way to stop the war, and that war is a law unto itself. Late one night, as I spoke to the bugs in my apartment, I told them that they should be killing the famalies who harbor the snipers and send me a necklace of ears.

The next week I hear that the battle has taken a dramatic turn. Soldiers had taken my advice, and were killing the entire famalies found in the sniper dens. Civilians began turning in the snipers right and left, fearing the new found conviction of the Americans to winning the fight. THere was talk that they respected us more after seeing we could fight with the same brutality they were bring to the war.

I saw the semi-trucks my soldiers drove around the country trying to get messages on the news, read of sorrow of the wrestler and his family who killed themselves to make sure I knew how they were drugging me. Isolated, surrounded by the army that keeps this revolutionary at bay, the loose affiliation of cops and agencies that monitor a man who has proven able to start riots all over the world, if he is not careful.

They are to blame for my excesses. Came at me as an enemy, instead of a reasonable human being who wanted to be heard. Fearing someone with a better idea is insane -- think how far science would have progressed with such stumbling block.

Later, I read an account of the war comparing the bloody campaign I started, and soldiers who were now there trying to make peace with the Iraqui's and turn the country over to them. One sargent was interviewed who said that with stop gap, most of his men had gone mildly insane. They mutter to themselves, Get wasted everynight. There are few mental spaces they can find sanctuary from the death all around them, and the reapers who loom over them on the quietest, most calm seeming dusty streets.

The surge worked in its way. We should not have had to have it. The army should have been re-organized and the shites and sunnis encouraged to be professionals together, to get over their prejudices by the spirit de corp. 20/20 hindsite. What if they turned their weapons on their ancient enemies? An entire country fallen into gun fire, neighborhoods cut into mazes of security zones. Classes of people living abroad, others in make shift camps that are just better than the threat of death they face to return to their lands. Many of their houses are now occupied by armed combatants who need to be battled out... regular men just move one, wait for the law to come back into effect and give them some redress....

Now we have Afganistan. What are we to do with the Taliban. Are they an army recruiting to attack us, or a phenomena of the hatred recent american policies have stirred up in the middle east. Could we find peace with these people? Could we give up the oil in the middle east, and let them live as they will live. Such good will would allow enough westerners to operated in their lands to learn that we too are people of honor, who wish only the best for the earth.

I hope that the camps where we hold the captured Taliban in Afganistan are transparent. That the combatants are looked at as people who have been brainwashed, as well as conscripted against their will. Brainwashing is seldom talked about in the situation of war, though we all know that this is done. Brainwashing is a science, and a personality, of a certain proclivity can be convinced to become a suicide bomber, obviously (not to mention all the other tom foolery people talk themselves into, from religions to choking themselves to passing out during sex...). People tend to look at the phenemona as unproven, until they experiment with it a little bit, or like myself, experience it. I went through drink treatment a few times, and learned that the 30 day model is based on the fact that it takes 30 days to adequatly brain wash someone into a new set of virtues).

Is there anyone actually out seeking Ossama Bin Laden and asking him if he has an agenda that will allow for a peace? Are we morally able to swallow our pride and say that this one man's life is not worth fighting a war over. If he comes peacefully into the new world, let him be exhiled by some and worshiped by others, as long as he does not inspire violence.

I do not care for the tactics of urban guerrilla warefare, though I can see how certain situation would sway my belief. ANd I am talking extreme circumstances, like an invasion or personal protection of self or others. I think a better way to go about changing government is to insist that it is fair. For all people. Give folks a vote in what is done to them, in what they wish to pay for. Let them see the arguements of both sides, not just the rich and powerful and glib and celebrity.

Reverend Jackson is always saying something about how criminals get three squares in jail while school children get one meal. I am more sympathetic to prisoners than Rr. Jackson perhaps (who knows); I do not blame all of them of their crimes. Society placed a lot of them there simply for being poor abd black and searched for weed more often than white guys. Others never had a chance. How people get out of bed and go to work for forty years is a mystery to me, let alone had I come from a family of abusive drunks, or severe poverty combined with prejudice and expectations even more diminished than my own.

I think prison is souls killing. The law is not taught in Jail. The reverse is truth. I believe that they should be given housing where they can try to function from with supervision, therapy, and classes on ethics. Like Skinner's pigeons, they can be taught. No one wants to be in jail. Give them an alternative that is not fraught with fear of going back to jail (which is why a lot of people run and endanger everyone in the path of their suv as they run that red light).

We underfund these therapy oriented group homes because a lot of them simply do not work. I have seen one where the kids basically controlled the house. Gang bangers who were living in group homes in what might as well have been a ghetto peopled just with teenage boys and kids just out of college who had no idea who to deal with the intimidating nature of their charges.

THey talk of a WPA. This could put the kids to work, let thme see something built with their own hands, learn skills that will take them out into the american dream with a change of buying their forty acres and a few mules (maybe a pny or two).

I can see the infrastructure of american being rebuilt not by the usual mobsters and pay to play sorts who get that shit in Chicago and all over the world (look into Cleveland if you want to see how much better off we are here than there); but by people who the government hires purely for skills, and sets free to turn our national parks and roadways and trains into the future we dreamed of and now must create. We can green this world tremendously through this effort. COnsider it our war against the Greenhouse if done right.

Obama will have to be very careful how he hands out contracts. He must hire from the top down in my opinion, appointing someone and then letting them hire the out of work to fill positions. Benefits like college educations for their children, lengthy vacations, etc... Not to mention the work for all the poverty idled artists. Let us bloom this world.

Bush pardoning Cheney, or anyone for that matter who is not ridiculously entitled, will send the wrong signal to the world. For one, this will admit our guilt in a matter which most of the world is disgusted over. Two, the History that needs to be learned from in this manner will have no airing. In Military Intelligence you learn just how much intelligence drops into a file not to be opened for a hundred years, that is needed, right now, to correct a problem. Merely protecting the reputation, or freedom, or a few men who were once symbols of the mightiest nation in the world, is a futile effort. The truth is already known, just not quite believed by the mainstream.

Like I always write, take off the monsters masks, or send them off into the future to kill again.

I feel for anyone who has to make life and death decisions. I laid in bed mourning for a month after I realized my campaign had been used to take human lives, when I told them no human life was worth one fucking bus. I never claimed to be in control of everyone, and still don't know if they were right or not in their military assessment... all I know is the horrible awakening to the powers of the word, and how easily a poet can take a heart and a head and spin them into a hurricane.


The Time of transition has come. Obama. I hope he makes overtures in his first speach to sit down with any taliban leaders will speak to him. I pray he learns of their concerns, and sets his best people to deciphering the cultural manners where we mesh as one species. I also pray he addresses Pot as soon as possible, meeting with advocates, and putting togehter a bipartisan committee to study the societal costs of incarcerating people for this mild drug. The money saved and earned from taxes could make our schools the best in the world. Learning how to and how not to use drugs could make all the difference in a child's life.

The darker drugs would require government intervention to provide the addicts with means to live normal lives, such as methadone has done for many, though the German policy of supplying herion seems to elevate the life standard of the addicts and the communities better (and no, there has been no rise in addicts). Amsterdam is of coures the world model. Of late them have set aside certain neighborhoods for prostitution and pot clubs. This saves the cops time, and provides smokers with safe havens, where they do not have to get stoned on the way to the club.

Lastly, Obama is going to be a war president. I would love to be an isolationist, hold up in the last gorgeous spot on the world and just let the world go to hell. If he is to establish that America has the same power to influence the world as China, Islam, and Russia, we have two options: work with these superpowers to stop wars, no matter who is supporting which movement (often we cannot move on a set of insurgents if they are tied to some bigger power that has an aggression pact). There are other countries who barely have a government, and no one is going to give a shit if we go in and try to help the people establish and working society.

The Marshall Plan for the entire world. FUnded not by the states these days, but by the entire world. By an attitude of all youthful



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A PARABLE FOR THE DELPORED

"there has been a battle waging since the angels split off, some becoming demonic, others trying to stop them. We have fought on earth in the forms of men forever. We fought as Neanderthals... as soon as the image of God began to appear in the faces of the creatures of Eden. We have kept all of this secret to the humans, fearing the mass hysteria that would have enveloped the world. The massacres we could see down that future path kept us from allowing events to steer us into such a dark place.

Now we are coming above ground. Demons and Angels are actively appearing int he unconscious of the humans; possessed since birth by deities they will never undrestand, these humans now wage the ultimate war between good and evil.


We have gathered in Chicago to meet the one. The Christ. The humans have known about since his birth, a secret that t most learned about when the Awakening Movement needed their aide. I have been a sleeper agent in my own mind, learning of the humans and their times by the ultimate tool - becoming one of them. Waking up from deep cover is not easy. There is no instant switch. You exist as two people at once, and in my case two warring people.

The battles would be fought in the old ways. As when the Gods themselves clashed over planets... or Gods they seemed to themselves, warring with powers that are unheard of here on earth.

You begin to remember the other lives you have lived as you fought the dark ones. The countries where you found them and their armies and tried to destroy their followers, before they could sweep the earth and earn their dark right, to avoid the flight to the father, to rule here on earth for eternity. They fear the fathers dark vengenge for the war they inflicted on the sun. They seek to keep humans on their sides purely to keep their delusion going.



I am weary from the battles I have returned from. The wounds of angels are all internal, mixed up with killing beings who were once your lovers, your fellow angels singing in the court of The Almighty. I know Jesus is close. Can feel his warm presence. I do not know if he is awake yet. He is usually the last, though sometimes the first. I find him in a dive bar, scribbling on napkins a poem that would be later lost from his pocket and dissolved into the snow lightning the Chicago streets.



I sit on a cracked, acrylic seat beside him. "Do you know me?"
His clear blue eyes look at me with rage, then he seems to go to another part of his brain to calm down, and answers in his gorgeous voice, "I have known you, my brother, since before you knew there was such a thing as I."

He never has grown used to being the Father's Judge, the siren for the four hoursemen with the steeds of fire. He came up later this time, 44, and his beard is greying. The waif of skin and bones he had been in the last life was gone. He looks skinny, yet well fed. He has grown the long hair of the mystic and magic. I can tell he has had the dreams. One showing God's Face to prove that he was in touch with a deity, and the next of the endless lightening and fire flowing from his trembling silhouette.

"Your father sends his greetings."
"Yes, he would."
"Have you seen the demons?"
"They are everywhere. They cannot attack me and I leave them alone. I have become like an animal in a zoo to them. The lion they never want to meet in the jungle, chained and neutered."

I order a beer and take a cigarette out of his pack. Angels are like soldiers on leave, forever trying to just stay in the moment and if drink and drugs are needed, the humans have an endless supply.

"They think I will not fight them. I want them to think I am defeated."
"They can hear you and yet...."
"Now that you are here, they understand that I am about to burn their Eden down."
"You loved here?"
"How could I not... these were my children once."
"You've been on this assignment too long."
"Or not long enough. You know I speak with the new Satan?"
"He is nothing like his father."
"His fate was worse than mine. Still, he believes in these beings, sees their free-will in the perversions, the lust for life itself."
"The heavens makes this place seem like a hell."
"The babies don't know. Shouldn't they be given a few years?"
"Now you sound like Satan. This is a planet meant to grow souls. To send seeds out into the cosmos. We go to the father's face, he sends us to the heavens where we will be happiest, or off to some other war in the endless struggle with the savages."

"What have you been doing here?"
"Writing."
"Anything good?"
"No. I wanted to change time itself, make the end a dream no one needs to have..."
"He sent you here to burn all this shit down."
"Collectively they are a virus. One on one they are often brave and noble."
"Save a few for breeding..."
"And forget the rest."

I understood again why only the son himself could bring on the end of a world. Angels would have died from pain.

"When?"
"The goal will be to save every soul on the planet. The projections are much smaller, of course. First we will need to use the armies to eradicate those who are not going with us. There will be even more blood... I have already shed more than I feel like I can take, though I know, being I am, I can take anything."

"Where are you staying?"
"I sleep on the subway."
"We'll need a better field office... do you know where the other three are?"
"They will find us within hours of opening the office. Call the company the Reluctant Apocolyptics. I want the left over demons to know where we are as well. I forgave them."
"What?"
"Oh, I perished a few... mostly I offered them their old jobs back. They knew from the beginning of this battle that they were going to lose. They were stuck with Sstan after the revolt. He was the one who had to hear their cries of pain over their fates. I would have even forgiven him for trying to teach the humans that they are for a reason, that God relishes their lusts. Of course, like an angel, he took it too far. The distant from the father drove him mad. The impending end, where we find ourselves now.... must have preyed on them."

We spoke of the other wars raging across the cosmos, where bits and pieces of the Son of God was still battling the left over pockets of the demonic invasion.

"Any closer to figure out why he does this to them?"

Jesus sighed, "Not that question again... he is not going to tell me his plans, because... who knows?"


New reports that night were filled with firefights between shadowy figures who witnesses claimed were flying around on white wings. Scientific experts were brought in to speak about mass hysteria. In a secret agency within the CIA another entry is made into a file labeled project omega. ^To his superiors, James Kenny wrote that an aplha red pronto emergency scenario was breaking out in downtown Chicago.

News teams filled the streets surronding the battles. Burning swords and blasts of lightening and fire flew back and forth between the creatures, destroying store fronts and leaving ominous fires up and down State street. A white being, too bright to be photographed or looked up, appeared above the carnage, raised what seemed to be his hands, and the entire scene disappeared. A melodic voice of authority filled the streets, "I am." The time of the troubles has come. I am your Christ, you buddha, your allah, your drunk ghost dancer... the one who has been shaping mankind toward this glorious moment, as we prepare for the death of the earth, and the birth of eternal life."

Speculation filled the news shows for the next week, though nothing else happened...












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Boycot Tom Cruise Films

Do you think that Tom Cruise the actor, and tom smooze the man, are two different entities?

I try not to let the life of an actor effective my viewing of them, theough there have been notable exceptions. I would not buy prison art from Gacy (johnny depo did and it drove him to have a fear of clowns).

In tommie smoozes world, however, there are forces that are trying to use his film career for propaganda. Were he in Nazi germany, her would not be trying to kill Hitler, he would be playing along in their propoganda movies. Remember,this is an easily influenced man with a broken childhood and a lot of money, which what these cults can smell like a hog over a truffle.

When his last film was bombing, scamatomologists tried to buy extra tickets to keep theer adverting partner a viable spokesperson.

It is one thing to say the poor actor had a lapse with drink, or any of lifes fairly common artistic problems... they are only inadvertantly leading to the romanticism of drinkin, where as Tom is saying that you must follow him to become a super being.

The us army, at my behest, recently denied Smooze the ability to use american military basis, soldiers, or machinery. This is why he shot his latest smooze over in Germany, where their guilt over their grandparents sins still keeps the ethics of the best of them wary, and ready to fight the rise of another mad man to office.

He is opening this film on new years. People thought I was Hitler incarnated, or his son for awhile.. while I have no evidence to prove this unfounded, I was told, vaguely, that some reserch the Nazi's were doing led to my existence. How, I will learn one day. Of course they also thought I was from outer space (which I am, but I have lived here so long that the general meaning of aleins applies to other than me)

Then you should know that when his last film was bombing, scientologists actually tried to up his numbers by buying theater tickets. They have in their hands a powerful symbol of success, an american actor who is so empty inside that they can fill him with whatever bullshit they want.

I am sick of his commercial... the nazi movie that comes out on christmas. There is something sick about that, to me. There are a lot of other films opening that day. Why not see one of them?

A tom cruise movie is another bit of propoganda for his cause. Don't kid yourself, they have their mind on world wide domination. Like most cults, they promise all sorts of shit they cannot provide.

I read the Rick Ross Cult Institute every day, almost. THe crap that people will believe, that we normal folk laugh at, is created by the urge for belief that we all have.... your beliefs, or at least some of them, are probably as delusional as the cultists. No one has failed to learn something that proves them wrong,unless they are so crazed that there is no way to enter their frenetic names with logic.

I have a cult member in my family. They say his life has improved since he joined the cult, even though they have bled him of every dime, and indeed put him into debt to support their habits of selling bottled water with hippy names that are supposed to be from Israel, but are not.

I have been off line for a couple weeks. I am back at comcast now. They were the ones who bugged me last time, and indeed may be doing as much again, for all I know. at this point, I pray my friends get the same intelligence on me that my enemies are gathering.

They know I can play the crowds like a sympohny, and they fear some imminent attack like I preached about, to the bugs in my apartment that though the info got out to good folk, I never once agreed to. I am not going to sue anyone over this... I do resent the drugging enough to want to torture the truth out of a doctor, but that isnot my way.

I am still trapped in Chicago, for good or bad. You couldn't ask for a better cell in the summer, but winter here... my husky loves the snow, of course. Her joy has yet to be infectious to me.

M. and I are saving our money to move, which has left me without weed. I hate to admit it, but writing on weed is my greatest joy in this life. Otherwise I tend toward depression. Who wouldn't in my situation.

I missed my deadline to get the books out. Who cares? I suppose I should worry about this more, but no one will buy them again. Weird. I know they great they can tap into Lulu and read my books, so they know I am not advocating bombing someone or whatever... just writing about the world as I see it.

The greek riots have been appalling, eh? What happens to people when they join a crowd can be easily researched on the net. I urge anyone not too drunk to look this up to do so.

I studied under Danial Sheperd, who believed that non violent protest would win out in the end. I believe this too. Getting people to come to your side really involves not burning down buildings and trashing your neighborhoods even worse.

We all feel the frustration of our governments ignoring our status as working poor, or the unemployed.


A lot of us would kill the Hitler in the system if we thought it would do any good. It does not. Like theese anarchist battling the police, they are not fighting the right people. The problems start with the wealthy who refuse to pay the tax rates that could start a New Deal in Greece, where the people are paid by the government for their skills, as they improve the infrustracture of their country. Any country with a large youngster population is going to experience unrest.

Look what happened when I called for a revoluation in America. Very pockets of resistance popped up. There were suddenly enough people to actually take over this country. We used hard core methods, no doubts... people died. This was our civil war.

I tried to tell the people we were warring with how worse this battle could get, how resolved, to the point of becoming monsters, to save this planet from allowing the industrialist to creat the green houes effect. This short minded thining from people who had been bought out by companies that do not wish to go green was criminal.

I would like to see a tribunal for the major polluters in america. They should be tried for sins against the environment. Industries would be able to make penance by solving the problems of cars and jets and etc... This can be done. American enguinity is almost already there.



The sheer number of people rioting, in the various cities, emboldens them all. I ama firm believer that protests must be preaceful. IF the cops will not march with you, you planned the protest badly.

No one who follows me should be doing violence in the streets. Period. The frustration you feel is mine as well -- I know what it is like to be disenfranchised from my community by economic and social conditions. We are fairly poor, though we have enough that bitching seems narcissistic. I take out my frustrations on the page, not in the streets. Not that I think protests are bullshit. We saw in Chicago this week a great example of how to protest, at the Republic Window and Door factory, where they tried to toss out the employees without paying them, etc... breaking varius federal labor laws. Rev. Jackson went down with food, and made a statement that this was the beginning of a labor movement.

Then... the republicans stop funding the auto industry... The unions think this is just more union busting. I do not know the details, though I have heard that they think the bailout will not work. If they are right, then we would be throwing fifteen million down a well. Like the banks we backed up... who are now spending like fat cats on your sweat and blood. I am glad I am crippled. It at least stops me from having to fund rich assholes. Banks. I don't even use them anymore. With the fees and the occasional overdraft, I found it was cheaper to just cash them at a currency exchange and spend 7 bucks.

I wrote long ago about this credit problem. I wrote that we were going to have to stop this shit. People took me wrong. I am not even sure what I meant by that, like a lot of my behavior during my frantic period of feeling like a budding prophet. Now a lot more makes sense. Why did I say that no stars or agents should call me? I know now that I am going to be so controversial that association with my writing will bring a lot of criticism.

I would also like to say, that two years ago I put a sign in my window saying "OBAMA FORGIVE OSSAMA, let all the soldiers go home." This was before he announced his canidacy. I knew he was going to be president, and that he would be the one who bridged the gap between america and the more radical muslims in the middle east. How did I know? God. He uses me like his scribe, whether I understand what I am writing or not.

I will be going to the operation push fundraiser next saturday, from 7 to 9pm. I watch or go to operation push every saturday. This is my church. Rev. Jackson never fails to inspire me to action.

Oh, yea, and thank you John Stewart for recommending that I snoke more weed... because I said something about not writing without weed, which is bad, and something I will change if I have to. Right now, for instance... though this is hardly the poetry of fire and redemption that I would prefer. Or even comedy. I did write a new comedy story a week ago at the elves attic.... anyways, John, I am always proud and honored by your communications with me. Someday... we weill talk. I still kick myself for not answering the phone when you calleed. Now the security is too tight probably for that. Who knows? My new phone mnumner is 773 961 7318. I still want to go on you and stephens' shows one day. I would also like someone to interview me about all this shit, but that is breaking some secrecy rule they have.

I still go over all the evnts of my birth all the time. The drugging, and the resulting preaching that I did, embarrass the hell out of me. I never asked to have children watch my performance, but a poem I wrote, captain factor xm where I said that we would keep no secrets, seems to point that way. I wrote cryptically because the muse was cryptic. I didn't know what I was going to write, though I could feel this master plan playing out through me. THis is one of the reasons I wonder if there was brain washing involved during the time I was in a coma. I woke up afterwards and started writing notes on my arms and didn't even know my girlfreind, or who I was. I have never had anything even similar to that happen, and either God took me and woke me up, or mankind used some ancieant, cultic knowledge to create a man who thinks he is christ... they told me I am an angel, and my wings were removed during the year I spent in a catholic hospital. Why did they do this? I think to protect me, but also... they fear that I will bring armeggedon...

I did dream that lightening and fire were spewing from my body. THis was an astounding dream, like when I saw the face of god. They came the same week. I never dream when I am smoking a lot of weed, as I was at the time. I am not one to make too much of my dreams, though a few did show me things that came true. I look at them more now that I know that I am this 'thing,' that is human yet not.

I am just blathering on... but truly, think about telling people not to go to this tom cruise vehicle. The us army says he can no longer use their equipment because of his cult affiliation.

I write this about cruise and think, 'no one who reads me would go see this film.' M. did rope me into watching a few good men the other day, and watching him made me sick. I really get creeped out. I seldom get this feeling. I wonder sometimes, what with L Ron Hubbard's love for satanism (he raised his son a satanist) has morphed into bringing the anti-christ. Could that be cruise? I do not know. I hope he is just some dum guy who ended up getting scammed all to hell. But he is dangerous to the truth. Psychiatrists have belped me immensly in my life. I have a profound respect for what they are trying to do. I have seen people totally change when on or off the medications they offer. A roomate of mine was totally cool while on the meds... went off them, and ended up a crazy person on the streets. THis story times one million would come about if they had their way. Until the new drugs started coming out, people were just thrown into sanitariums. Better that they can function.

I also want to say a few things to clear up a few myths about me.

1) I am not trying to take over the world. That was all a joke. I would not know what to do with it. I do, however, want to influence people of power. With Obama in the presidency, I am fairly certain someone who thinks like me will be in charge. This is a first. I am still honored by his contact with me, as I am with Hillary Clinton. I recommended a round table of various leaders, and they started using a huge debate format to get the issues out. That was great. Now, he is taking the great talent of the people he debated and putting them in positions of power. This is wonderful of him. He does not have all the baggage that presidnets usually bring in, and by baggage I mean people who he owes something to. Most presidents end up giving these posts to cronies who will just do their bidding. Obama seems to be taking the high road. A nuclear physicist in the white house? Brilliant.

Lastly, on the blagoveich problem. I feel for his family, and him. I understand the corruption of this city. The problem is that the mayor, or at least his cronies, are so used to be ing criminals that they have encultured the city hall.

Go in love...























You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
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There is some overlap... but they are all different.

fight or flight

I play the run from me game.
The hide me game.

There is place we all go
a cave on a mountain alone
we burrow into the dark

our souls a hawk
circling high above
coming down fast
on the elusive bird
of love


the predators
coming in fast
death cries of screaming beast below
our hunger is all we know














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There is some overlap... but they are all different.

two as one... the abortion of self

People seldom spit clean in two

having one side of self an agnostic/fuctioning athiest
another raging prophecies that barely make sense to me

I always wonder how a God could exist without just coming to earth
and saying, "Alright, stop this shit right now. Love each other and all that. You know better. Or else, I am smitting you and starting over with star nosed moles."

I have tried long enough to ponder questions like this. A pointless endeavor? Hard to tell. Why bother to look for what is not there? Factual proof of the spiritual is just not going to be there. They probably operate on such different levels that our understanding is very, very limited. Perhaps that is what time and space are, constant questions that we are going to have to answer... and there will never be this one Big Answer? Certainly this is the experience of life. However, there have been nearly magical, unexplainable occurances in my life that no amount of scientific pushing and pulling will tear apart seem to mute.

I can explain the dreams, in a way, where I saw the face of god and the lightening and lava pouring from my body... but they did not seem like dreams at all. Period. And when I was thinking about how to write a new bible, I began to dream of how to do it... a first. I am not saying that this 'new bible will mean as much as a book of poetry... THe purpose is not to replace any religions, say anyone is necessarily wrong or whatever... just to update the ethics a bit, try to meld the secular and sacred.

Oh, well... this is one of the last of the Jesus entries for awhile. I am going to take a break, go back to my regular life, where I have to write other shit. This will not be an easy book to let go of, and I will keep Jesus as a character, but I am afraid that more undue interest by crazy people will be given to this blog as long as I write under this volitile name. Better I go back into the more obscure parts of my mind... drift back out of the consciousness of scott ridgway and navigate from the unconscious, from whence I came I will return.


















You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
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There is some overlap... but they are all different.

the religions... are so fucked up on this planet.

I am embarrassed to be religious. The company one keeps is too odious for most people to take seriously. I am fascinated by the myriad of ways that people try to use God. So many people just sit in circles convincing themselves of lies that I want to smack them all on the head as much as I want to hold them to my breast and tell them that whoever they are, that is who they are meant to be... and their souls will sort out the mess that their flesh sees. That they will not understand God, anymore than they will understand the infinity of space. Acceptence is what man needs. Acceptance of the will of God.

Man, instead, wants his will done at all times. This is instinctual, part of everyone having to eat each other at different points in evolution. The heirarchies we hear so much of, etc. Fiefdoms for private realms of madness.

This is why I cannot join any churches... operation push is as close as I want to come. I like the idea of worshiping without prejudice, coming together to work on social issue despite mild ideaological differences in our approach to the sacred. Like sane people do all the time, everyday... and then there are the others.

The Rick Ross Cult Institute is a website I inevitably go to everyday. There is always new shit. At least a page of new stories. They are basically links to papers all over the world. An invaluable service. I studied cults quite a bit in university, as well as how consciousness develops and how languaage controls a lot of the boxes that we cannot seem to break out of.

The Latvian's, for God's sake, are now coming over to the states with some bastard religion that tells them to go after gays. I am the last to say anything against immigrants (especially South Americans, who I believe has as much right to the states as we european conquerors), but this really is a case of the prejudice of another culture enfusing itself into our society and taking us back two steps... We have made a lot of progress in the states toward bringing equal rights to everyone; I think most people here think that God does not make junk, to put it in bumper sticker speak.

The arguements that God would create man to see if he would sin, like some damn video game with good guys and bad guys... come on... wake up. People who tell you that they know the will of God, mean that they know their own will to power (Niestche wrote how we all have this Will To Power, and we do... power is fun, and everyone deserves as much as possible).

I believe that homosexuality is a genetic predisposition, perhaps built in as a survival instinct for times when fewer children were needed because of environmental factors... or, it could be caused by ... who cares? It is. People are this. They have rights as people, no matter how much other people have been conditioned to have revulsive reactions to them. And yes, this is what happens. Entire societies are at fault for the demonizations.

Why do religions concentrate on issues like this? Do they think that they are seriously going to have any effect on homosexuals, other than to add to their already increadibly high teen suicide rate.

Driving people to hate themselves, making them out to be an abomination in the eyes of God is a sin in my eyes. I see these people who go out and protest churches about gays as no different than the inquisition, or the fundamentalist muslims who would stone to death someone for adultry.

What is with all these people who become Muslims, anyways... don't they read all the hatred in the book? The crap about how they have a duty to steal and kill from infidels -- the right of pirates still used around Somalia, where they have a huge pirate problem...Russia wants to go in and kick their asses, but for some reason america won't go with them... I say, go get those fuckers.... why is everyone so afraid of making another attempt to help Somalia get its act together?

Everyone now wants to give up on Somalia, as well as Sierre Leon... I will never give up on any country. All oppressed people are just that... and civilians in war zones, countries fallen into anarchy and feudalism, need a serious injection of the 20th century. Say what you want about not messing with other culturss, we are a species that is growing ethically. And old assumptions have been our bain since we first looked up at the stars and saud, duh....


Five ethical points, I keep thinking, should be enough to bring world wide peace. You can make this more complex than it is, and we surely have... but if we could get freedom of religion, press, lifestyle, and economic prosperity to all work together, we would be fine. I see no reason why they won't. Lot's of places they already do. But what of the Christians being slaughtered by Hindu's? Saudi Arabia's ban of any religion other than Islam, etc... Makes all the religions look bad.


I do not mean to point out islam over christianity as the problem here. Wacko's come in all shapes and religions, as do wise men.

Some people think if all the religions went away, the wars would too... Imagine by John Lennon comes to mind. I used to. OF course, the viable ways to have a society held together without religion are there, too. It could be done.

Not going to happen. The mystical is the only place where we can even think that we are making sense of the higher questions. Science has no answer to the question of ghosts and gods and angels. The lack of proof is not proof. I am sceptical as hell about everything. My tiny mystical experiences stunned me, but they are still just facts that I have -- they are not some theory of everything.

During the period when I was all manic and pissed off about having the bugs in my apartment and lecturing homeland security, as well as my friends who also were bugging the place... giving me equal time with both my enemies and allies, I tried to hide nothing. I had nothing to hide. A fiction writer coming up with a book, a man who wanted to use his skills to organize some kind of movement that supported his causes, his personal issues... get into the politics of the world a bit, again.

I had no idea any of this could have happened. I keep hearing this guy on the Emmy's, I think, who said, "Love tv. "Fear the internet." There is a definate backlash going on right now. I am hated for what I have done, written, siad, caused... should I care? No. Do I? Of course. I am not going to allow myself to become so hard inside that words cannot hurt me. That is dangerous for a writer. I guess it is just better for me to do as I did in the beginning of this infamy, when I intentionally ignored newspapers and what-not, even as my actions rocked the western world.... they expected me to do something I would not do -- I am no tyrant. I still believe in voting. We lost our way for awhile. We can get back to where we were. This american experiment is just that, an experiment... and the same with the global consciousness.

Fear the internet. No, fear the nuts who believe anything. This is what throws me the most... I had no idea that people were supersticious like they are. I believe next to nothing. I am very, very sceptical. This is why when all of this crap started with the tv and the total war for total peace, I could barely believe that I had indeed set off various cadres to revolt, as well as influenced other movements, jogged some hollywood stars off their thrones, got a lot of help from people who surprised the hell out of me...

I have a hard time holding that time in my head now, as if it were a dream... my life says none of that happened, that I am an obscure writer on the internet... every day I have to tell myself, no, you have this responsibility now to fight off the mental fucking games they are fighting you with, and stand up to them, be what you know you are, no matter what they make my day to day life seem like. You have seen the face of God...





















You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
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HTTP://generalfactorx.blogspot.com

http://secretposse.com

There is some overlap... but they are all different.

The book work...

Still spending all of my time working on the book version of this blog. The book is weird. Not your usual poetry all laid out neat and linear, with a table of contents. I do not wish to write a puzzle for people with certain literary skills to put together in their minds. I have learned to play tennis with the net, now I no longer need the net... I wish to learn new variations of my own when it comes to literary styles. To do this, I had to study all kinds of writing, read thousands of books, take class after class tearing apart novels and pulling out the secrets the writers allegedly put in there.

Clarity is more important than craft. Which leads to the problems with the poetry book; it is also telling a story, and some of the poems are more effective with the context of how they were being used by the public, what was going on with the revolt of values that america is now embroiled within... this on going struggle with getting the word out to people about how this shit really works.

Last night was one of those lay there thinking why the hell am I even alive kind of mentalities. Depression is a constant lately. For the last couple months. I am not entirely sure why. THings like this come and go for me. What the hell. TOday is alright.

I started the morn reading int he nty about the millions of years of life lost because a leader in Africa did not act on the science of AIDS, and instead relied on a small cabal of dissident voices who prescribed dum shit that does not work. 38,000 babies were part of the total of people dead. What does one do with such staggering tragedy?

Made me remember a freind of mine, John, who died of aids before all the drugs were available. He was gay and you could tell, and people in Toledo would sometimes give him shit and he would be right there in their faces. I loved the fight in him. We met in AA. He told hardly anyone he had aids. I guess he was afraid of how people would react, or whatever. I only found out when he was gone. THe last time I saw him, he was outside of a small theatre showing the french fllm, au refoir las enfants,... He was all shook up. I was on my in and he told me I would like the film because it was very depressing. That was odd to hear. He was right, of course.

I love that film...

The nook is what I digressed from... I have more work to do than I thought I would. I am going to get some preliminary copies of most of the books next week, and have to have it done by then. I really would rather I had a year or two to do this. There is much I am leaving out. I guess there are two books there, one explaining the experiences I had, and the poetry, which is what I have written, and another explaining all of the circumstances that took place around me.

I am afraid of no man, though time itself scares me. Filling the day with this and that... this is how it feels sometimes to be a writer. YOu wonder if you are really getting anything done at all?














You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
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HTTP://generalfactorx.blogspot.com

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There is some overlap... but they are all different.

we sleep and awaken, sleep and awaken...

I see the debri of humanity in the cracks in the sidewalks of my clean street

I hear the soldiers screams in the waves sweeping up on the quiet shore
mingling with the cries of the seagulls and my barking dog

I read the lies of the men who have convinced you of their holy intent
see them trying to stop you from following my writing
whether they mean to or not
not that I am saying you should...

just a read
another's experience

I see beneath their flowing robes and gentile manners
know how they fear the end aa much as anyone
how their lusts fill them with the same fires
how desperate they are to control the world
how convinced they are that they know what to do

they give seminars and dress in their sunday best
in cheap hotels
where they sell the dream of getting rich quick
that seems to give meaning to the meaningless

In my lives we have looked at those who chase money as deluded
we have not judged their way as worse or better than ours
just less clear

I read the news of this time and see the problems to come
the wars that will rage out of the ways of man

bits of those futures begin to make sense of the visions of endless flames
the catholics and the muslims are still at war
an endless battle between who will be listened to...
a pope or Allah

as long as Saudi Arabia can ban a religion
kill a convert

the pope worries that my believing all religions can lead to heaven
will take away the very structures that have held society together
rip away the laws and ways that have kept anarchy at bay
my purpose is the opposite... which is why I am against cults
I believe that some religions have enough truth to be used
though I also believe the future will need new books
and that I have been commanded to write one of these

There is no man more surprised by my presence than me
no one who can understand this... except me
I am alone with my knowledge
standing on the mountaintop looking into the face of God

I can claim to know little
this is why I cannot start a new religion
I am not an expert on religion
such men exist
and they always have and they have built a few

I will tear out the rot within their books...
slowly
with each new born child
we will take away the old
and insert the new
creating the beings
we know we should be

the ways of the hatreds will be softened
the rivalries taken away
all the holy books contradict themselves
could not they all be the same yearning
filled with contradictions
parables, more correctly... trying to explain
what is not always ours to know

I would a graceful peace could settle over the planet
this is not your way

I will not take away your free will
even if it means you will keep killing yourselves

the terrorists will not stop
without therapy
and love

without respect

trying to kill them all is a fallacy
a self-perpetuating process to create more radicals

I chose Obama because he knows how to organize a community
this is what we need a community of voices
Not a politician who speaks likea a swaggering america
but a man who like some of us has been sickened by my own countries ways
too many times to think patriotism applied in any but the most extreme positions


for so long
before I awoke to this mission
I felt as if the world was completly disconnected from me
alone
almost entirely alone
now I know I am connected to each and every one of you


what can I tell anyone that they don't already know?
Too much to have the time to write it all...













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HTTP://generalfactorx.blogspot.com

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There is some overlap... but they are all different.

Obama

he who walks in the white house now carries a heavy burden
walks into a quicj sand of destroyed busniess
two wars that require death... yes, now he will order men to die


saw his hair gfowing grey during the campaign
how they manage those scedules along is a miracle

a man who spent time organizing on Chicago's south side
where most whites are afraid to go


he saw the devastation of a destroyed economy
the young men being jailed for stupid shit liek pot

what if he had been busted for weed? He would not be the president

the fbi changed thier polisty this year so that people who
smoked weed in the past could join

Obama says he will not legalize drugs.... the unrealistic policies will continue
the way the cops check blacks and hispanics all the time
the more jail cells they wiill need
they don't need treatment for pot... the gov. should be making a few bucks
and it should be cheap

I suppose state laws are the only way to fight this evil

we must begin to fight in Illinois to get pot decriminalized.
the cops shoulsn't have to waste their time on law abiding folk
who like to relax with the weed instead of getting boozed up
... or worse, addicted to other drugs


when I was seventeen I wrote a letter to the editor
of a small town newpsaper saying they should decriminalize pot
waterloo indiana... my conservative aunt disowned me for a bit


The pressure the bloggers put on the issues must be quick, harsh, and effective.













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There is some overlap... but they are all different.

The Man comes around...

This is a letter I got from the aclu after signing a petition to impeach Bush. Please pass it along.
Thank you for signing our "Impeach Bush To Stop Pardons" petition at:
http://www.democrats.com/pardon

As the 21481st person to sign this petition, you are helping us reach our goal of signatures.

You can help make this petition a success by sharing this petition with your friends and family. Petitions will succeed only by word of mouth, and every signature makes a difference! Forward our sample email below, or simply send your friends this link:
http://www.democrats.com/pardon?source=johnnyapain%40gmail.com

Thank you again for making a difference!

Bob Fertik
Democrats.com




Time to pay the piper. Sin without redemption is a damning. Bush, and Cheney, if they truly value the Christian ethics of their rhetoric, will confess and ask for forgiveness from US citizens, and then accept God's will on the matter. OF course, We know this will never happen... so if he tries to pardon, do it... impeach. NOW.

I have always thought impeaching him would just give us a different face on the same agenda, and with all the pressing problems in this country, being vindictive was absurd. Now, however, if he pardons the criminals in his office, we will be doing history a great disservice. The true story of the last eight years, and the hijacking of the US government by a small, unpopular cabal, will be hidden... laying the way for another cabal to come up in the future.

The US has never been very good about admitting mistakes. No country wants to destroy their prestige, and no one wants to bring down a president in a time of war. Now, Bush has served his purpose.

His administration made me, when they started bugging me and interfering with my health, a defacto prisoner and torture victim. If you knew the extent of the physical and psychological pain they have caused me, you would shit yourself and never utter another word against Bush, or you would tough up... I tough up, eventually, but acceptance for what was done to me is different than allowing this to continue.

If we let Bush and Cheney off the hook, we are in essence saying that President are above the law. That is not the world we want. President's either embody the law, or they are impeached.

If you have been following me, you know that I want a sensible end to the Iraq war, one that honors our soldiers commitments and the policies that they have tried to support; they stopped a genocide over there, which they would have started by taking Saddam out and leaving a minority group to rule over the majority.... I am not going to play the 20/20 hindsight game. I was never for that war, though I was always against saddam and the shit he was pulling. I go along in the end, because that is what you do in this country, and I was taught that ultimatly, we are all americans, whether we disagree or not.... not to mention, I am just some fucking writer in Chicago who hates even thinking about politics... and a religious leader to some few, which means that whenever I get into the matter of politics, I am treading on thin ice... basically, meaning, I do not have access to the kind of sensitive intelligence that is needed to make decisions like this. You do not want me in charge of when we go to war, because I am a loaded gun with a hair trigger. This is one reason I refuse to have even a church. PEriod.

I am here to sow the seeds of peace, and to die on that altar if God requires... but peace will only come about with Justice. People will, quite naturally, fight any peace that comes without justice. I am not here to create clones for my thinking... not at all. I would rather teach someone how to think for themselves.

I watched a special on Jonestown last night, saw again the truth that power corrupts. Another reason I would never even join an organized religion lurks not only in the lessons of Jonestown, but also in the Catholic Church -- where the clergy clings to a few basic premises that I know will not stand in the face of world opinion; and don't kid yourself, world opinion is more powerful than any church.
I would rather be one voice in a choir. A mind that takes into account the checks and balances that our forefathers carefully placed in the constitution. No one... No one... can be above the law, or there is no law at all -- merely a system to oppress the underpriveliged.

If Bush pulls out that Pardon pen, the congress and senate, and Obama, must throw it down, man... they cannot let the sins of this administration continue. In the past, they have let these pardons stand because they wanted the same power for themselves. Let us pray that Obama has no plans on needing to be pardoned.













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orders: omega

I am a revolutionary leader. Presently locked in a cell as large as the city. Oddness... To think that after these two years of becoming aware of myself, I am still no closer to sitting at a table with my adversaries and declaring peace. The undeclared war that I started with this country is a war... my war. I am of kingly blood, unapologetic for my use of the word crusade, because to do so is to judge another time by our standards, which is hardly a scientific way of thinking... many of the men who went off to battle, were myth laden beings, trying to do their best by GOd, as good men have done since the thinking mind began to replace bare instincts as our motivation for action.

They left their loved ones on arduous trips because their holy men told them that all sins would be absolved. This worked for a couple of the crusades, though people stopped buying it as time passed. Why? No one really wants to go to war. It gets done because people talk themselves into shit that they think are necessary for their survival, and that of their loved ones or gods.

To live in the honorable myths of our ancestors is a tricky matter. There are definatly pockets of ancient beliefs that simply do not hold up with what has been revealed by science, experience, etc... I pick and choose that which I wish to emulate in my relatives. Learn from their experiences to a degree. Yet, I also find my actions are just like theirs. They too felt the same way about honor and rightousness that I do. Distinguished themselves as much for being kind as anything else. What a great thing to be known for... being kind.

I wish that this kindness were enough in this world. Kindness is not enough. I have spent years as a pacifistic Buddist, though I never felt like one. If that makes sense. I ended my buddhist years after meeting some tibeten monks who had been raised in an monastary, where they still lived... they had something. Everytime I looked at them they smiled and I smiled and it was like infectious joy. I escorted them for about five minutes. It was the oddest thing. It was like we sensed the laughter of GOd together. I have never experienced anything like it since. The smiles were so true and natural.

I have not thought of this in years. Now, I know, we recognized each other as long lost friends who had spent many good years palling around together in monastaries, and there he was, still in one... Now, for someone to have this kind of vibe about them, I began to think, you actually have to be raised on this stuff from the start. Born into a monastary and studying with every breath. As an american, I could never picture myself caring only about spiritual study, and wasting like ten hours a day meditating... my interests are just too varied for such a simple mental life.





For those of who you took up arms during this period of transition. I salute you. For those who died to bring me messages, your place, and that of your 100 closest relatives are assured in Heaven. The rest of you... time to sit down at my table, or run like Hell.... your choice.Know this, however --- You are on the end of a tether of the remnants of the dark one. I could have at one point had all of you dead. I chose to offer forgiveness, even for the cheerleader. Those days are over... I hope that the gift of second life that you have is used well. All of you can be redeemed. Even people who I will never personally like, can be lauded in my Father's court. I did not make the law, I am the law. God made me.

I no longer will be offering forgiveness or redemption. A door closed today. God spoke to me, told me to stand up and start this shit. I have dreaded this day, fought it with all the love within me, tried to tell myself that I could deny the visions of God, fight my father's bloody vision. Today, he showed me why your flesh no longer matters, how you are in cocoons waiting to fly. I tore you free, and some of you flew... some of you tasted the blood of my enemies. Some of you went out into the streets to tear all of this evil down. The rest of you were just waiting for the very arms of heaven to reach on down and carry you away. Surprise.... God does not want you to convert at the end of a rifle. Surprise... God wanted you to merely know a few things that he told me. And you drugged me until I could no longer function, until my rage was all that was left.

You want to think I am an actor, go ahead. Want to think I am a blasphemer, go ahead... want to just go on as you have, go ahead...

Now, I am laying down the gauntlet ... You thought I would come to you, when you were ready. No, I had a lot of things to try to understand before I could become the torch. Your little lights are nothing compared to my flames.

From this day forward, any and all who stand in my way will die in this life and the next.
I pray my soldiers, those of you who spoke to me long ago about this plan, who I have told to stay hidden, have not all been located... omega.













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on BILL MAHER

I have watched with interest Maher lately. He makes a lot of the same arguments that I used to. Specifically, that religion causes war. As I laid in bed today, whiling away the hours between the words, I realized that from a sociobiological viewpoint, war is natural. Chimps go to war with one another without a religion to push them on... the crusades, at least, were economically based, even, to some degree... the second sons, who were not going to inherit anything, had a chance during the crusades to come back rich. Hitler was not religious based. Our response to him was not religious based. How was Vietnam caused by religion? Iraq?

I guess taking pot shots at religion is along the lines of making fun of Michael Jackson... easy targets (OF course, I have done both). There are a few areas where religions, obviously, are the problem. In the age of over population and aids, the Pope's view on rubbers is ridiculous. Anything can be rationalized with the bible, but just because the words were used, that does not mean they were the motivation.

That is all. I am not going to go see his film, though I would have a couple years ago, before the visions and dreams and all the people treating me like I am some kind of preacher.











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"We are the generation we have been waiting for. " Obama

I sure hope he is right. Way too much needs to be done, right away.

The direction of this country has been manipulated, and part of that is my fault. They thought that they were preparing for my arrival, and that I would want the ultimate war. This is not my purpose.

There are still people out there who mistake my trust and love of the states armed forces with war mongering. There is a difference. All of my uncles, and my father, were all veterans, and union men, who spent their lives trying to fight the good fight. For some reason, this was taken as a blanket statement of whatever the army says is cool by me. This is not the case at all. I despise war, but I do see a lot of undeclared wars raging across this planet, and I would like to see them being fought by what I think of as the forces of good. These forces are merely people who believe in a few ethical standards; basic human rights; freedom of the press, access to health insurance, the right to live as an individual without the government telling me how I should (to the degree that I hurt no one else, including the environment). I also believe in states rights. This is a much maligned position, due to the way it has been used in the past. Now, however, there is a difference in this country. Primarily, the eyes of the net.

Obama has an email list of ten million people, sixteen percent of the people who voted for him. Any attempt by the right wing to marginalize ethnic voters or whatever, is going to be challenged. States rights now revolve around one major issue to me -- religious freedom. By this, I do mean pot, too. People who smoke weed need to be released from the demonizing efforts of the few...

The jails need to be emptied of non violent offenders. Period. Put them on house arrest, do not take them away from their kids, their jobs, their rights to vote. Prisoners are people, too. Life is not an episode of cops.

I spent a couple weeks in the third roughest jail in the states, Cook County. The surprising thing about hanging out with gang-bangers, primarily,is that they do not easily fit into any category. As far as people who were jailed, they were mostly fine people. Mitchum said, when released from jail after nearly a year, "Jail is a lot like Hollywood with a better class of people." Kids I considered most of them. They saw no other option in their lives. The typical story was one of getting beat up so much that they were forced to join a gang for protection. This is not a choice any child should have to make, and understandable in the right context.

Passionate, strong young people, who think for themselves, are being channeled into gangs, then jails... the same money spent fighting gangs, and jailing them, would fix this country. The energy they put into their life styles can be channeled.

Obama is in a unique position as president, he has seen the streets, and what they do to people, in a way no one who grew up with a silver spoon is ever going to get.


My ex neighbor was in a gang for years, and when I asked him how he got out, he simply said, "I found out there were other ways to live."

I will write more on this later....














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"We are the generation we have been waiting for.

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my bitterness returns

I am so sick of being a poor american. So sick of being diabled and trying to live on next to nothing. Sick of all the politics around me. Before at least I had a good reason to sit all this shit out, because the neo cons were in control and I kind of looked at it like, there are two america's, one in which people like that exist, and one in which my friends exist.

I never expected the two to mix. The world I studied in University is so far from the everyday man in the street knowledge that I assumed the ideas that helped me the most, philosophy and critical thinking in general, were either beyond the masses, or there was some conspiracy of the right that was going to do whatever the hell they wanted, no matter who was elected. I liked Gore and Kerry, but there was always a part of me that wasn't sure they could really make any difference in this world. I had come to expect little more than headaches from the government, and the prevailing political attitudes of my own country.

It is like there are all these liars on both sides, though the right is definantly willing to more a moral than the left. When I decided to use their own weapons against them, the last thing I expected was any kind of hew and cry, let alone what transpired... watch what you wish for, because you may not really want it.

When I was offered a leadership role, indeed mistaken for someone who would even think about running for president, I had to puzzle out why I was hearing these ,messages... what, I wondered, had I said that made people think this? I wrote about my heritage in a mania. It means nothing to me at all that my ancestors were kings. Nothing. Certainly not as much as the dirty dishes in the sink, or the few bucks left on my food stamps. Made for a good story when I was writing a gonzo history of myself, and trying to tell people that these are all the things I NEVER BRAG ABOUT. You would hardly have seen in my work anything even close to self promotion, before the last couple years. I hate talking about myself, though I seem to end up doing it a lot for someone who does.

I feel like someone who made a pact with satan to be famous, so I got famous in the worst way possible. I should have just let you humans do what you are going to do, and left you alone. I am sorry that I bothered trying to save any of you. Sorry that I cared about people at all. If I could, I would destroy all of this shit and start over with dogs and cats, maybe a couple penguins. Have a nice quiet planet again, without all the pollution and hatred and crime and...

yea, right. I think it is time to quit writing for awhile. I am just too cynical today.

















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of late lightly

of late I am lightly present in the room
barely with my body

a blur on the edge of the eye
nothing substantial enough to focus on

a scent half there
could be shit or a flower

I cannot tell where the mission began and ended
what was performer and performance

the words... were they truly mine
or merely borrowed:

words stolen from souls howling in the netherworlds
as I stalked down through blackness flickering with red flames
my sword cutting down his angels as
we make the final push
to victory

Satan himself trembles before me
i wipe their blood from my lips, eyes.

thank the father and raise my sword
from behind comes the demons own son seeking vengance

on the father who tortured his mother
the leader he thought he could never bring down

born into hell he was the only one there without sin
I remember the day he was born
how deep I cried
for the soul who would never know the comfort of love

Now I am entrenched in CHICAGO

sometimes I am the innocent among wolves
the babe from American Dad
that johnny who has no idea what the fuck is going on around him

I will never sit back and be your lap dog
Never will I give up my individuality to become another symbol
Never will I give up my roots to pursue the way of new found freinds
Never will I give in the parts of myself
that tell me nothing I do anymore matters
Never will I let my enemies
forget
that on the appointed day
I will hold their souls in my hand
and declare them worthy... or unworthy
to come into my father's court

There are all these huge pockets of secrecy in this world
and I have yet to really crack any of them
I feel hated and despised
worthless to man and myself


they count on you not believing in them
They great they
who I glimpsed from inside the belly of the beast
and still have no idea what faces they wear

I have met their spies
suffered their slings and arrows
marched on as I always do

figuring that if they kill me
what the hell?
Not that I want to die

no, I want to live... just not in this purgatory
where they will bury me in lies and half truths


I write this last line and wonder???
Can anyone find these words by accident now?

People used to run into my words by accident
leave messages

when they started deciding to censor american artists
they broke with their better selves
time to reign them in

tHEY ASKED ME TO SAVE THEM
then tied my hands and put a blindfold on me
chose to want me as their leader
until they I told them you have to elect leaders
in this country

I was trying to start a movement
and it started
There is no putting me back in the bible
No pretending I do not exist

Whether you choose to look at me as a thesbi pain or a preacher
I will never be either'

I am a poet in the whitman tradition
writing about the man we could be

Now I feel like I have given away too much
asked for too little
lived too far off in my ivory tower

In the wind I still hear my name
In the world you will still be able to see my effects

The sane will still recognize sane
and try to help the others
always did
always will

total war for total peace

TOTAL WAR is a military term, and it means throwing everything you have at an enemy. When I add this phrase to Total Peace, I simply mean to do anything you can for peace. At the same time, I do not believe that every time we take up arms, we are wrong. If this makes me a war monger, than ... And what would the people who are horrified of the possibilities of even using the word war in a positive statement? I SUPPOSE THAT IS NATURAL. Especially if you cannot trust your gov. This phrase is kind of like Peace Keeper Missiles, which have thus far worked, though they are hardly the preferred solution.

Not that I think we should ever build anymore bombs... the exact opposite should be happening, which would give us the moral ground when we try to stop other countries from obtaining bombs. There should be no bombs, not some status quo where the big three are afraid to give up any power, and no one, but no one, wants to back down altogether and trust their neighbors. How can we, in this post hitler world, not think that we need to watch for the rise of another dictator?

See, this is why politics and religion do not work. Religion is about absolutes, and there are none in politics. There are a lot of different sides that have to be considered as well as my own before I could ever have an opinionn on politics. On religion, I have been looking at everyone else's opinions on this topic my entire life, and found all of them to be wanting.

I logically went on think that the pholosophies of the future would come more from secular sources than ever before. I know novelists have had just as much effect on my as Christianity. A lot of the novels I read were merely retellings of the passion in out space, I see in retrospect, but I read everything. Along the way I stopped thinking we were ever going to understand much about ourselves or each other.... I kind of more or less wrote humanity off. Looked at the bombs and green house effect, heart the hate speaches from all corners of the globe, and kind of figured this shit is going to end bad. One way or another, this shit is going to end bad.


As a teenager, I was fairly certain there would be a nuclear war. I used to fantasize about what I would do, but I didn't have much of a plan. I hoped that the first strike would take me out and I would not have to try to survive in the aftermath.

Then, as the years passed and this somehow did not happen, I began to think that life was pointless. Suicide was much on my mind. There seemed so little to want to live for in my life. I was still getting used to being disabled at that point. Suddenly having to stay home, after spending so much time out in the streets driving a cab, was a level of hell. I adapted, and seven years later, while I still don't like it one bit, I somehow get myself out of bed everyday and write and paint sometimes.

I wish there was more said in all of these words I wrote today...
















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The never ending crusade of pain

I am so different than I was two years ago. Tested. That is what has happened to me. I was testing, trying something different, watching an organic creature rise up across this country. How I ever got to be the one on the board is beyond me. How any of this happened, is beyond me.

I know some of the readers who have recently come to my work have no idea what I am talking about. For the last few days, after a period of increasing activity, I started getting depressed and anxious before election. Only today am I starting to feel like myself again, whatever that means. When I get like this, I tend to just lay in bed thinking a lot. I could do that for years and years, though it isn't a particularly happy thing to do, it does get one out of oneself. Sometimes when I am depressed, the best I can hope for is just to get out of myself for a little bit, forget my problems, and the worlds, and try to relax.

I have a difficult time compartmentalizing all the different ways of being and acting
have a difficult time making sure I have the right personality to offer

i MOSTLY, of course, just go over and over the last couple years, since I became aware of my responsibilities. People like me, we are not used to having power over other people, because power means not only responsibility, but also an enslavement.


I have tried to make sense of my own motivations, but I was so provoked and beaten down by the attack on me, that I see now a lot of what I said were the bare musings of a story. Notes to myself. Of a time when I felt like the mad minister from Flannery O conner novels. I was writing from deep inside myself, it seemed... and at others, it seemed like I was being fed the words from on High.

I will not be able to let this go until I can talk with people who were involved openly and honestly. All of the people who used my likes and dislikes or whatever, who half ass agree with me on a few common sense issues, should, unless I am just too innocent for this world, decide to let everyone who wants to contact me, do so without fear of being tossed around by guys in black suites.


We can make this world a better place. This will never happen as long as people like me, who truly care about the world and have a history of doing good works, are taken out like this. THat is what has happened to me. I have been removed from history, scrawled in the underground, in the history of the spies. I suppose one day they will study all of this, when the lies are no longer needed to save the face of the living... All of the people who involved themselves is what blows me away more than anything else. How could all of these people, who obviously have money, be subdued by some force in american politics, some secret police.

I get the feeling that they expect me to go away. To quit writing all together. I don't know what anyone wants of me. As long as I am surrounded by lies, imprisoned by the presence of spies and their cowering cronies, I will hone my skills, perfect my ways of writing, learn more and more about putting books together. I will consider my words my own projects, like I always have.

They are obviously above the law. They great they I always called them in my poetry. THey exist up there beyond the conspiracy theories, beyond the glaring white light of the interrogator. I do not fear them, so much as I am disappointed by them. I think they know this by know. I reserve my fears for what I have done, or what will happened to others. As far as what they can do to me... my life could be much worse. For someone with chronic pain, I am lucky to get anything done. Let alone enough words to fill a shelf, which I am rapidly approaching, though I could hardly say that they are all fit for being reread, let alone published...


I hate having to be the point man, sometimes. Like bitching about Tommy Smothers. I should have explained myself better. I forget how much other people were usoing my words, how anxious they were to make sense of them and tell you waht to do with them. I was used. Total war for total peace was about universal forgiveness. A goal for all time and history and religions. Seemed the simple key to all of the words problems to me. Forgive all the bad guys with their entrenched armies, tell them to lay down their arms, and this one time, be forgiven. Then we could just kind of start over. Instead of all of us coming at each other believing it is our way or the highway, it was time to actually discover how many ways there are and which ones are best.

I really have no idaa how god got into this campaign. Something was inserted in my mind, I think. I was in a coma for thirty hours, and when the amnesia went away, I was filled with a gracious feeling of forgiveness, a universal love for all people. This is not me on one level, and on the other it is me entirely. I want to be a person who forgives others their trespasses; one of those people who understand that this is the only way I can expect forgiveness myself. And after what I have seen of this life, there is no one who can escape a few regrets -- oh, they are out there, like the overly confident to scary Ron Paul statement about like everything about himself.. but I am not one of them.


I do think that people who are criticizing me at this point, are more or less shoving around a blind guy. I mean, put your self in my shoes. Tell me, if you were in the kind of pain and drugged out mania that they had me in, would you have lashed out, would you have considered the most bloody paths to freedom. Ask other prisoners of war. That is what I am. I broke no laws... other than smoking pot, and small shit that got in my way ... like not paying a parking ticket when I was barely scrapping by, and shit like that... when my attackers found I actually was not going to break a law, that I just was another writer trying to make sense of the world; just another philosophy major who went into the arts. Just another of many things, that all happened at once.

Mostly though, I was used. A puppet for higher forces. Those who had in place a vision of God that they expected me to accept and become. Why anyone would choose me to play Jesus is beyond me, while at the same time making perfect sense. Sadness within.... I should have been able to celebrate this week. Instead, I am just looking around for the next project, though I seem to know that they great they have decided I am too radical to even the mild power base of being financially stable. This is part of what kills me about all this. I had in the back of my mind this idea that I should not take anything from anyone last year. I just had this gut feeling. and to my way of thinking, I do not work for the mob. In this city, I have always just ignored them. Not my job, you know. I still feel that away. THIS Is quite different than being for them, or going after them. This is indifference. As long as they leave me alone. Like anyone, I will fight back. And if that meant using thh

church and state

Funny that it took a religious man like myself to make the separation of church and state a central tenant in the New America. When some were ready to throw the me on a throne and pretend my spotty past had never happened... I explained to them that my throne is on high, and none here can compare. I felt at the time like I was back in the desert, being offered the world by Satan. That is exactly what all that Mob money and such that flowed into Fearless Radio when they were taping me, illegally, seemed like -- i HAVE NEVER SOLD OUT AND I NEVER WILL. If this keeps my flesh in poverty, then same on you and how you treat the disabled in this country. I will never let myself be placed on a pedastel, either. I sweat, sometimes cry, walk with a slight limp sometimes, and usually have a slightly dour look on my face, and almost never laugh.


I loved having the power to make change, but I did not feel that I had the right to pretend that I am the will of all people. I am not. They have to express their own ideas, and I am not always right, certainly those who are at a scene, know more than someone who is not. For me to criticise people is one thing, it is quite another for me to comdemn them in their entiriety. People are souls, an intrinsic other than their behavior, and I mean to condemn the behavior while still being able to be civil with the people who I am lampooning.

I would do this one thing again the same way, though I am still pissed about some of the shit I said and did as a result of the druggings they gave me, as well as the seizures they caused, etc. Why is no one even looking into this? It is time, or not... see, I do not know what kind of backroom deals have been made. They do not want to tell me anything, because I do not believe in the rancid secrecy the government and the shadowy figures behind them...


So, is my work done now? I helped bring out a record number of voters; knew that Obam and McCain would be running against each other two years ago, before all the debates and what not. Look at my writing and see. It is back there, dated, in my blogs.


Now that the first results are beginning to show that OBAMA'S lead has not been stolen away yet. It felt so good to vote for the first black man to run for president. Did you feel history in your hand as you touched the pen to paper, and connected the two lines into one that said, Yes, I am ready for a New DAY in the United States, a new start on the International Scene with a leader who knows that it is owed to the troops on the ground, to have peace talks going at all times. From the moment a war is declared, an exit plan, complete with how to make peace in the end, should be layed out. Soldiers should always have the mentality that sooner or later they are going to have to be friends with this culture.

Telling you who I am voting for is nothing. Going out and saying that Jesus wants Obama and you could be damned for voting McCain is the kind of crap the far right was shoving into kids heads, and that is just wrong. Neither of these men are evil. It is just that the latter one sold out.

Good luck out there. I thank the father that the riots and such that I saw will never be...









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WHY DID YOU WAKE ME UP

just to leave me
laying in my bed
in a hot room
staring up at the ceiling
feeling as if I will find no more on this earth
than just another cross

election day in america

when my campaign started
I had hope in politics for the first time in 20 years
at the time I wrote that I feared it would fade

Now has been almost two years
years in which I feel like the goals I have been pushing
are actually coming true
even though inside I FEEL the same dry ashes
a stillness where the passionate heart once beat out a march for the troops

where for are thou God on high?
Have you forsaken me here, again?

Have i FALLEN PREY to the minds of man?
Am I just a fever dream dreamt up in cia think tank?
are even my thoughts cleverly inserted paradigms
chains?

I have no answers
just the millions of question marks that I push through
blindly
stumbling
bleeding from my scraped knees and torn palms...

















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confusion on the cross

I smell blood in the air
see soldiers marching through great white plumes of tear gas
reluctant young men who do not want to be out there
who wonder what they will do if they are ordered to fire


in ww 2 they found 75 percent of the men
shot over the heads of enemies.
A young Hitler claimed
he could have been killed by an american soldier, long before he became the ghastly beast,
but the kid chose to let him go.

After that the army changed the training enough that now,
soldiers shoot to kill

I see them trying to steal another election
hear the outcry and this time something more
the thunderous roar of the masses rising as one
storming the castles with our torches
burning the monsters out

See the celebration downtown
the Obama podium where he will
announce himself winner
or that some are calling him the loser.

They try to pull an Al Gore
Obama will have to use his community building skills
to stop the riots
in their chests
from storming out in into the streets

to stop the fire in their eyes
from becoming flaming beams exploding all oppressors

I see man since the beginning of man
man now
and man to be
simultaneously
blurring together the beginning and the end
of life on this speck of dirt afloat in the infinite

I come to man at the Praxis
the point of change
a black man could take the helm of a country
where when I was a teen
the best comedy rag in the country
openly mocked blacks

the Harvard brewed National Lampoon

I am on all sides at once
telling them that they can make it no matter what
no matter who
no matter when

tell everyone that the changes that have come about in the last two years
are irrefutable
no matter who wins
though I am not so sure of any of this anymore

When McCain openly became Bush
to get the neo con money he needed to keep his campaign marching
I saw that the snakes were still in the Hen House

talking to my friend Ben today
I said that I hoped the Republicans don't try to steal votes this year
"They are going to do what they do, man."
He is cynical.
I am still hopeful
because I have had to find hope
where others would find none over and over
in the squalid pockets of my existence
in jail with my pain ripping my back apart
on mornings after stupidly acted drunken dramas
The humiliation of the day to day existence
that drives the seemingly sane to shoot up their co-workers
No, I find the hope...
when I die I will look to the sky
my hope fulfilled by the One who hangs on high


for the next two days
as we wait to find out which way the world is heading
the world will be a nervous wreck

we will be further apart then ever if they try to steal this one
I will render them unforgiven

no one will believe the elephants won without trickery
NO ONE will sit back this time and let them use the courts to steal
the people's will


I pledge my hands to peace in this land
tell myself the times from Martin Luther King to now
have shown sweeping changes

STILL... I understand mine is not the perch of power
in this revolution
there is no head to lop of the snake
no leaders to send the unmanned planes in to blow into a hellish inferno


there could be insane rage
that makes them want to smash everything in this world
tear this world apart and start over

the young men who are shocked by the support of whites for another black
will sit back again in their hatred
see the world once more as not quite their land at all...

I will understand if the skies grow black with fires
never lend my torch to destruction
I will never give up the on other avenues
unless attacked

the states have a chance to prove themselves worthy of God's Grace
womyn's grace, the oppressed's grace
by saying

Just Say No To The Party Of Lies and Wire Taps And Torture

Say yes
to a man
who is a glorious challenge to my cynicism

sorry John McCain,
your judgement in this campaign proves to me
you are someone else's puppet
How I know about this

My image has been used to make weird points in cults
to oppress my beloved
I know about being used as someone's puppet
know where to look for the strings
McCain has strings
he accepted like chains
to get the money from the top five percent
that he needed to fund his failing campaign

The irony of the decendent of slaves
walking into the white house
as the first lady
while the the Republican candidate watches
pathetically enchained,
unable to move as the world sweeps on around him
























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There is some overlap... but they are all different.

chocolate news dis's the House Of Pain...

David Allen Grier is funny and smart. His show is among the best I have seen. As I watched the other night, he did a thing on WIGGERS. And among the list of wiggers, he put The House Of PAin. At first, when I started my little campaign for peace -- true, world wide peace, this is what I called my House.. I changed the name a few times, but this one stuck. Tyler Perry Used it for his House Of Payne. I was flattered.... I did not expect anyone to really notice me, ever... let alone be inspired by my words. Well, I hoped for this, but could hardly have been expected to
think that I was going to go down a prophets path. I was writing stuff I would like to read, words that I thought would have helped me at my lowest points.
I suddenly found myself at the center of a quiet storm, and whoever is in charge of keeping me, suddenly immediately slapped into some kind of bubble, where intelligence barely gets to me.

Comcaste internet had something to do with taping in my house, something to do with my friends getting the same intelligence my enemies were illegally gathering by bugging my apartment.

I have little idea, to this day, about all of the events that took place as a result of my writing. I tried to document some of that in my book/blog Waking Up Jesus. Certainly, if you read that book, you should understand that I really went through all of that. Some group of people were behind messing with me. They believed that I was much more aware of what was going on around me than I was. Since no one came up to me with the truth, I began to feel like the entire world was my enemy. I knew otherwise from the TV shows, or at least that seemed to be the case...

Anyways, what I am getting at is that I studied under a professor who was big on Black Issues, then I drove cab for ten years in the most segregated city in the country, and experienced racism as much as a white person does, which is very, very little. This made me aware of the problems in this sphere.

I hate any injustice. In the states, obviously, the native americans, and the blacks, hispanics, etc.... are among sub-cultures (some at least) that are being oppressed by the police, jailed way too often, and a myriad of other facts.

Of course, when I started writing for this campaign, I was having seizures and spending weeks at a time in the hospital, and my back mysteriously got so bad that my medication no longer worked. I also was somehow poisoned, to the point that I was puking for a week. All sorts of odd events started when the radio show and my peace campaign converged.

I had no idea at that point that I was under suspicion of being a dangerous radical. I suppose if you read my writing wrong, you would find a lot of shit in there to make you think I am mad. Well, I prefer to keep the madness in the writing, not my life. i WRITE ABOUT HORRIFIC murders and such in a comedic manner, to deal with the issues. I am sad as hell at any murder, for everyone involved. I used to always wonder how to even get people to read issue oriented stories. I decided that the writing just had to very, very good. Then, later, I realized that I could talk about anything if it was in the context of humor. When people are laughing, they can deal with the horror of the subject matter.

As far as how this made me 'acting' like I was black, I do not know. I do care about perceptions, however. And I have a lot in my life to make clear to people at this point, because I performed for an audience that took me way too seriously for a prisoner, underestimating that everything I said was touched by the horrible anger of having my life become a bizarre realm. I will never be able to truly flower as long as I am a prisoner, but I also understand that security is needed to keep people from flooding the city, as they did early on, when I wrote 'come to me.' I do not know why I wrote this, but when I saw the results, as on the news they talked about every artery into Chicago being blocked, just as they were bringing the largest private army in the world into Chicago, I went back to the computer and said go back home and fight where you live, not here. Take the injustice you see around you as your enemy, and fight it wherever the fuck it raises its beastly head.

I am color blind, and not. I expect everyone to be civil, and when they are not, that is their problem, not mine. I don't make any preconceptions, other than expecting civility. This is why I always say hello to anyone when I am walking my dog, or puttering about my neighborhood by the beach. This is not a packed neighborhood You come across someone, usually there is only you two on an empty residential street. I don't try to do this downtown, obviously.

All of this add's up to, I do not know what was done by The House Of Pain. For me, the house of pain was the outgrowth of being someone who is in chronic pain. Some people thought I wanted them to emulate me. That was not my purpose.

I am uncomfortable with that thought. I have made my share of mistakes, done a thousand things I would be horrified if I my kids were to do (not that I have any).

I wanted people to just say Hello to each other, and finally, start taking all the problems in this world seriously, instead of continuing down our blind path where even such horrendous difficulties like the green house effect were being ignored to placate the oil companies. In this process, the name Thomas Paine become associated with my campaign, and of course I encouraged that because he was a truly wise man, who died in drunken poverty after being one of the men who wrote the words that inspired the american revolution, because he did not want any slavery in the States. His writing about common sense was one of the first times that I noticed during my campaign that a tv show was responding to my blog, when Book Tv came on with a guy reading common sense, and I wrote in my blog, I do not believe in common sense. The guy looked at a screen, where he could see my words, and said, Well, this is not very encouraging." I wrote back, "Convince me." He went on to read this passage in the guise of THomas Paine... when he was done, I wrote, "I am convinced. THis is a show that should run forever."

This was all taken wrong. But, you know, if Thomas Paine is a wigger because his heart was broken when his visions were used to enslave others... but he wasn't. He was a man like me, who knew deep and true that enslaving anyone was wrong. Period. Two unknown black men are said to be the only ones at his funeral.

I understand white kids who emulate their favorite stars, or hang out with black people all the time who speak in Black English, and become ensconced in the culture. Why wouldn't they? When whites act black, people make fun of them. Yet, when Blacks act like whites, they get promoted. This is an interesting point. Even blacks make fun of people who choose their culture over their own. This is kind of sad.

So, if the wiggers out there choose the black culture, I think blacks should be pleased that they have had an influence on the over all conversation about what a human being is going to be. And don't kid yourself, that world wide one culture will happen... if we do not blow ourselves up. There will be bits of all cultures everywhere as the internet spreads. This is another reason the us needs to find reasons to seek a higher moral ground, rather than just living with the vagaries of the magical market; a truly open free market economy is just the wild west, with the savvy few enslaving the others in low wage jobs; no country out there lets businesses do whatever the hell they want. We can see why, as the Banks who were bailed out to the tune of 700 billion go to exclusive spas to celebrate, buy other banks, just continue as they had before, with their eyes on the bottom line, rather than the customers interests.

I wanted to make sure that by the end of my campaign, blacks, gays, hispanics, native americans, muslims, womyn, etc... got a seat at the round table where they were spoke of as equals. We throw all of the problems into the middle of the table, then take them and fix them as our own. If every nation did this, we could all a long way toward spreading good will for all cultures across this world.

Get the arabs and the jews to put all of their problems on the table, and make the arabs solve the jews problems, and visa-versa. Now, that would be interesting.


Anyways, thank you for mentioning the House Of Pain, Mr. Grier. All I ever hear about the events now, is the occasional jab at me. I am not sure why this is?

Like I have said before, I do not know that much about what my words inspired. This was a serious mistake on the part of homeland security or whoever the hell it was that decided I was a dangerous radical. If I had been told the depth of this shit, I could have actually been a force of good for all. I tried to just get everyone to forgive each other, and go on from there. I was criticized for this. Called a chicken on Family Guy. Then I wrote something about attacking, taking no prisoners...

And since I was cut off, and out of the loop, I had no idea what people were doing with my words... so I just continued the act, trying to make sure that all I knew was passed on. I am passionate about getting across the ideas of certain great thinkers. I am not one. I am smart enough to recognize the few who truly are. I should say educated... it has nothing to do with how smart you are, it has to do with how ignorant you are.

I have spent weeks depressed, just laying in bed going over the events of the last 22 months, hating all of mankind in a way for treating me like this. I have always been a serious person with a streak of absurdity. The comic side of me is buried away now. I can bring it out, always could on the radio show, and it will be back one day... until this election is over, I am stuck thinking about it too much.
How anyone could think I would want any of this... I do not want to inspire people to go to war, though I do not want people to passively stand by while predators have their ways with others. And I do not see the same boundaries of our country that others do. I still believe in the possibly assinine thought of manifest destiny. Why not? We should be inspiring, reaching out to the downtrodden; the us is filled with people who will race to help others. We have just needed the means. And while the neo cons went about their little campaigns and ignored most of the people in the country, there was little means.

The country may change a lot with an Obama Presidency. More white kids than ever will be showing up with all the right hand shakes at snoop dogg concerts... why not? Let those who love your culture revel in it. People do this naturally, by the way.... pick up southern accents and mannerisms, or new york, or the bronx.... just happens naturally.

I do not act black. I act like an indiana boy, a scholar and a gentleman is a phrase that was applied to me a lot. Most people just think I am a mellow guy who occasionally will not shut up. When I grow long hair, I get a whole other reaction from people. I get a little prejudice. Nothing like a black man gets in Chicago. Just more than I usually get. People then think I am a hippie.


People will always label one another, and our culture is the result of bits of other cultures that have somehow survived into the twenty first century. It would be a shame if black culture were to be subsumed as the world comes together on the inherent. I do not see this happening.

I suppose with my comments about whites... people thought I was a race traitor or something. No, I was just making jokes, trying to even the score just a little bit. Make the racist scared if I had to. My favorite people I have met in this life have mostly been catholics, jews, and blacks. Growing up, I knew people of all walks of life, except blacks and jews. I had never met any. When I did, after being raised by a union president mother in a very progressive mind set, I was prepared for freindship, and that is what I got.

Oh, well. I am not pissed over this. It just puzzles me. Makes me wonder if I am hated or what out there. It sure would be nice to know who is on my side, and who is against me. I wonder now if they are going to make sure I never gain popularity? I do not care. I will write no matter what.






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There is some overlap... but they are all different.

gay marriage is cool... let them decide for themselves.

This is from the aclu... they have a form at their site to fill out to send a message to people you know in California to vote NO on this proposition... the fundamental right for a sub culture to have the same rights as the over culture is a tenant of the United States that we must protect in any guise.






On November 4th, voters in California will be asked to vote on Proposition 8.

If passed, Proposition 8 would end marriage for same-sex couples in California, eliminate a fundamental right for many Californians and dash hopes for marriage equality in many states around the country.

All the polls show that this election could go either way. By making just a few calls or sending just a few emails, you could help make the difference. Please, don’t let this fundamental right be taken away. Learn more.

Tell all your friends and family in California to vote NO on Prop 8.













You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com

http://thereligiouspsychokillershitlist.blogspot.com

HTTP://generalfactorx.blogspot.com

http://secretposse.com

There is some overlap... but they are all different.

SOCIALISM, SMOCIALISM....

THE United States has a bit of socialism built into our Capitalist system. We should have had a bit more government control, instead of allowing the heartless market to just flip and flop about based on the anxiety of a bunch of frat-freak traders. The redistribution of wealth has been happening in the states always. This is a basic tenant of the old thought, Noblesse Oblige... the Obligation of Nobility. A lot of wealthy people are glad they pay taxes for nice streets, etc... schools, etc...

The problem has been that the political sides of the jobs associated with the governments, such as people who contract to do street work, have been given out to people who do political work for THE MACHINE. T^his means the best people do not get the jobs...

People then lose faith in the government to do anything. This denigrates all the millions of folk who have worked well for the government. Nepotism, chronies, etc...are the worst workers.

This is what people do here -- they find sponsors in the political world. This is another reason I got out of working in politics. I found raising money, which I was good at and inevitably ended up doing in some capacity, demeaning. Then when a govern er Celeste whom I worked for refused to close down a series of homes for the mentally challenged where the employees were taking them home and making porno movies. This was discovered two days before the election, and the Governor decided he would let it go on two more days.... My friend went to his opponent, the sitting Governor, and got those places shut down and the creeps busted. After that, I raised money for Citizens For A Better Environment when I first moved to Chi town. Politics is a nightmare. Serious, serious, shit. Soul crushing, hair graying.

I feel good about Biden, and have always known Obama was my choice, though I would have supported anyone who will turn around this train wreck of a country. The Neo Cons got their way, through trickery and lies that kept the opinion of the citizens from having anything to do with their decisions to go to war, and pass fiscal policies that destroyed the surplus Clinton brought to the country, and the US people have woke up, and are not going to let the damned ones lead us any more.

If Obama loses though... I heard two young black kids on the train discussing how they would jump in front of a bullet for Barrack, and how they wanted to be his body guard. When one saw my hat, we bumped fists and talked politics for a minute.

The night before, coming home from a Halloween party in a suite, the train was packed but this one guy had his small bag on this seat, and he was one of these angry young black guys who is going to do whatever he can get away with... I point at his bag and say, Hey, I need you to move your bag so I can sit there.

He looks at me like he can kick my ass. I pick up his bag and toss it into his lap, sit down and since he is half on my seat, I shove him back and keep my elbow on his ribs, because he is doing the same to me. Mary Ann was all worried because this guy was looking at me like he could kick my ass. I was ready to destroy him at the slightest move with two fingers into his throat and my thumb into his eye. He was just a pussy though. We sat there, me in that cold anger I get when injustice makes me choke... I am one fearless mo fo. I know my Father has plans for me, and that I will win any righteous fight that I get in. I have never picked on people, been a bully of any sort, and am polite as hell with everyone at first, though I take no shit from anybody.

Strange, how different life is for people. The angry guy and the two kids filled with hope. I imagine the one guy had been in jail. He had the look, and what he was doing was just so over the top ... he had this tiny bag and the train was packed.

I of course was in a lot of pain, from having done a bit too much for my broken back. I had been up all the night before working, then went to operation push, then spent six hours at a party... so my pain level was intense, despite my even taking a couple vicodins on top of my usual hand full of pills... This is usually when I go off, I hate to say. Being in pain twenty four seven effects everything. I have some mornings when I wake with barely any pain, or none, though if I do not take my pills within a half hour or so the pain will catch up with me. Funny how straight I was all those years going to school and working out, with cigarettes and coffee my only vices... and that now I am forced to use drugs. Weird ironies in life.

The socialist shit about Obama is crazy. I guess the entire neo con block are panicking at this point. THe racist skin heads are going to get a big surprise. Their children will study in school a great black man who straightened out the country, and became a great world leader who lived his entire life in the service of his fellow man. Or they will go into their home schools... these scare the hell out of me. I am completely for public schools, though of course they need to be funded correctly, and run by people who have nothing to do with Scientology. The world needs to collectively, like scientists, all move toward the truths together, not just shatter into a bunch of different myths that we all try to defend to our death.

This is why I do not care what religion someone is or is not, I care about their ethics, philosophies, behaviors, curiosities, potentials... I am interested in the ways that people experience God. I hate the use of God to make money, though... the cults that sell bottles of water for eighty bucks and teach basic breathing techniques that make them think the water is responsible for their burst of serotoni. I learned how to start a cult, and easily could with my knowledge... what a sickening idea. I was told that two were started by my writing. This is not my intent. I am here to scribe to words that God feeds me... I will soon enough share all of my eastern knowledge and hypno stuff on mp3's you'll be able to use to get to sleep, take mental walks, etd... some are very intense. OTHERS, like reincarnation therapy, I would have to do in person, because you are supposed to stop people from reexperiencing your death... and my visions were both of the times just before my death, I think... in one, I was a torry, and being dragged down to a pier, in Boston, and hung. I had the knee socks, a fat gut, one of those white wigs... in the second I was a native american running through very tall, brown grass... we were fighting a calvary unit, though we had no horses. Oddly enough, my brother Mike had much the same native american vision, and we later found out we have some native american blood on my mother's side. Her father really looked like a native american. He was short and stocky with jet black hair right up into his eighties.












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There is some overlap... but they are all different.

BLOGGERS ORGANIZING FOR WOMYN'S RIGHTS IN THE ENSLAVED COUNTRY OF SAUDI ARABIA

Egypt: Laila Echoes Reverberate in the Land of the Nile
A small portrait of the translator
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008 @ 23:44 UTC
by Nermeen Edrees

This post is also available in:

ar:
مصر: صدى “ليلى” يتردد في بلاد النيل...

In its third year, the Kolena Laila campaign took a different turn, reaching out to women with no access to the Internet and giving them a chance to speak to the world.

The annual event, spearheaded by Egyptian female bloggers, aims at giving women, identified as Laila, a chance to speak up and have their say.

In the words of the organizers of the We Are All Laila campaign, the event geared at posting podcasts, featuring interviews with women from all walks of life:

“The third year of Laila brings about a wider range of participation to comprise other categories that do not have access to the internet, and still maintain the track line of the first year’s theme. This year’s theme is to gather audio testimonies and stories of elderly women, for instance grandmothers, and women who do not use the internet, due to social or economic reasons. Such authentic audio testimonies give an air of vividness and are rather expressive; they also stand as an audio archive of the experiences of older generations of mothers and grandmothers for generations to come. However, Laila’s main track line is still there: to write or record Laila’s problems and issues and having the speaking up opportunity.”

Not many female bloggers really adhered to this year's main idea, except for Bent Masreya [Ar], who uploaded an interview with an Egyptian girl and discussed with her the obstacles females face in Egypt.

Another blogger, Ma3t [Ar], chose to honor her late grandma by writing about her struggle with education in Egypt from 1944 to 1948.

As for Manal, she hosted her mother who intrigued us with her experience with the new neighborhood she has recently moved to, and how she is being seen as a “foreigner” because she doesn't cover her hair.




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up all night

Living this artist life lets me get up when I want, sleep whenever. I nap a lot and then sometimes stay up all night. A lot of people envy me, with good reason. I worked hard to get here though, all those years of school and cab driving and living on next to nothing. Not that they were bad years.

Money was never a requirement for me to have fun. I mean, I like to have my pot, but sex and conversations and walks along the beach or the zoo and the free festivals here every weekend kind of making spending money something you can avoid.

No one has written about how great and mighty this city is. There is a spark lit laying by a puddle of gasoline. There is a poet with a pen in one hand, and a gun in the other. There is a young black kid, about twelve, who is trying to decide whether he wants to make a few hundred bucks a week or live in the poverty that has haunted him his whole life.... and me. I live the most integrated neighborhood in the most segregated city in the country. When we met a recent freind, an actor who just graduated from Columbia who is joining our actor troupe, and he is a black guy with dreads. And one of the first things he said to M and I, once we had bonded and figured out we all think in terms of revolution and change and racism, he told us that he was surprised we were not afraid of him. Both of us laughed at this -- he told us separately.

When I first moved here, I gave an autobiography of Frederick Douglas, because the passages on literacy are, to me, the most relevant writing since the bible. He told me, "Man, my friends don't even think white people like you exist. They hate all of you."

In the cab, I treated everyone the same; after having been a salesmen for a few years I knew how to put people at ease and get me tips, but mostly that is just the way I operate. Like saying hello to almost everyone I see on the street. I have to admit having a blue eyed, red Husky with a great big smile and a wagging tale makes me more accessible, but I say hello alone and get similar responses). As Nat and I walked our dogs tonight, I was telling him how dog walking was a renaissance, that people in the city were actually building communities based on talking while walking thier dogs. This is so true. People gather in the park and get to know each other, and the hellos eventually seep out into the entire neighborhood.

I am going to go watch the sun rise over the lake this morning. Just had a cup of coffee, a bowl of kind bud, a couple pain pills and a Valium, so I should be chemically prepared.


Some know, some don't.... I go by Johnny Pain because I have had my spine rebuilt with bones from my hips, a surgery they no longer use because you end up in chronic pain for the last fifty years of your life. Oh, well. I am not bitching. I have great doctors, and in a way, getting all the time off work gave me the space I needed to finish a few books. Life of course has a way of creating cliffs where you are sure there are gentle slopes.

I go to a new doctor today. The pain clinic at cook county is always trying to get me to go to some primary physician, but whenever I do, I don;t like them... one put me on medications that caused me amnesia and five seizures and months in hospitals.

Anyways... My kitten has proven to be about the best thing to happen to me in forever. The Husky footage of her mothering little gray Dash is about as precious as anything I have ever seen. You literally break into laughter at the site.

So I guess I will go to the doc's, go down and buy some paint at a store near there, and some lineseed oil... and a bit of loose canvas. I can't wait to put up these new paintings. We have the new camera, the dxg, but it doesn't want to work on my lap top, so we are setting up a pc this weekend.....


Big Love To All Of ....call me sometime 773-339-8099








You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com

http://thereligiouspsychokillershitlist.blogspot.com

HTTP://generalfactorx.blogspot.com

http://secretposse.com

There is some overlap... but they are all different.