The ongoing story of Jesus waking up in Chicago, in the body of an agnostic writer,
who is nothing like the Son of God the right-wing Christians watching him expected.

You are welcome to share my work with a link bank... keep getting asked this...

Last time I was here, I told them I would not lead a revolution, that I was there to spread heresy. The crowds thinned. The day they killed me, I marched alone... This time I have returned to find Romes Soldiers Sleeping, content they have killed off the Troublesome Jew. I was surprised how bloody the Indiana boy became as my sword fell again and again ....

In the years since this story began in 2007, my secret fame has spread out from the halls of power that kept me secret all these years, as they waited for the Christ to finally wake up...

I try to imagine their anticipation.

Remember a dream I had in my twenties about running thru Chicago screaming that Christ was coming back, and man oh man was I happy... a cloud came through the middle of the skyscrapers above me, in the thin strip of blue above Dowtown State street, and I expected to see Christ... instead, just a bunch of musicians painted up like Ziggy stardust.

I surprised my keepers. They thought they had me figured out from the Bible. If that book could have told you everything, there would be no need at all for me.

Jesus: "I have become Known across this planet as a dangerous man with a growing force of hidden followers who value my orders more than life itself. A prophet of war. Once and future King in a court of shadows. Life and death in my hands every damn day. I ROAR, your most mighty shit themselves and run. I make myself a known threat, so I can try to negotiate what otherwise requires bullets and blood. I am here to free the enslaved in body and mind. I cannot be defeated. When the Will of God and The WILL OF THE PEOPLE ARE ONE, NO FORCE ON EARTH CAN STOP US!"


We come into this life expecting too much and leave expecting too little

Tuesday, June 30, 2009


kill them all
I think sometimes
magically make the criminals and terrorists dead
bloody heaps of nothing

I would I could reach my hand into your brain
press a hole into your brain with my fingers
damage the asshole parts
destroy who are

I would I could reach my hand into your heart
tearing it blooding and pumping from your chest
hold it in front of your eyes and say
Now you are dead and I will keep this God here
send you into his mighty court with no defense

I will stand by as The Cosmic War
damns you as a traitor
to the side of humanity

Your Christ Came To Earth
Expecting to forge a path of Peace and Joy
through this forest of lies

For Now you have chained me up in Chicago
You know about me and yet you act as if I am just another human

One night
when all of this was new to me
I realized that if Christ exists... hell did too
I preached that night of fire and brimstone
gave grave warnings to mankind that the time had come
to face their eternal life
You could be redeemed by my words
Instead you will stay in your mind mess

Later I believed that I had broken into Hell itself and freed the damned souls
Saw a vision of myself leading a horrifying army of blood streaked angels
Weary being carrying swords glisteing with the life of demons
I watched as we tore through their ranks
When I knew that we would win
I offered them forgiveness
After my Father toild me the time had come to stop the punishment
of the humans trapped in the webs of the great deciever

Live on...

As your world burns around you and the sky bleeds my blood
I will leave you in the fires if my Father orders me to be merciless

You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog, or

Google John Scott Ridgway for other works.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Soldiers Pulling out of Iraq's Cities...

I saw a picture today on the BBC site, with a line of soldiers outlined on an horizon, marching as if toward home.

We are at a very tricky point in Iraq. If the extremists decide to come back in and fight the Police and Iraqi military after our troops pull out. the USA will be forced to possibly make an unpopular decision.

I want the war to end. I sympathisize with the security concerns that make the ending of this conflict so complicated that years are involved. We have to leave behind in the country a seed of Democracy. Saddam Gone. Democracy declared. The battle line drawn between the extremist jihadists and the forces of the free. I do salute the soldiers for fighting this hard, horrible battle. They are the front line. Between us and the masses of folk who would reduce our lives to their particular religous vision.

I am sympathetic to anyone who is oppressed, at war, etc... However, the Taliban and their influence is the fucking enemy to people like me, and the people I love. Oppressing women. Period. Nothing else I have to say about that religous delusion. Add to that stoning adultererr's, killing Christians, etc... Taking the women out of school is a sin against humanity itself. This is pure and simple prejudice, and however institutionalized and sanitized it is in some countries (like saudi arabia, where women cannot have drivers licenses, passports, fly on their own... the system is built to enslave, and indeed, a many servants have found themselves enslaved in such system -- remember, there is more slavery now than ever before in the history of the planet... if you do not see it all over the place, that is simply because you are not looking. People run around making opinions about Paris Hilton, instead of going after slave masters.

I mean, have you ever heard of a charity that free's slaves? You would think the black community in Chicago would be involved in such an endeavor, but they tend to think they have enough on their hands representing their communities, and with everything so ultimatly out of control in certain ways, they have to choose their battles carefully because war can break out anywhere.

The allied forces in the Middle East are the predecessors of the wars to come. Iran and Syria and other countries who are not under Russia, america or China's nuclear net, are going to be scrambling for the bomb. Lot of countries already have it, and they will not stop until they have one. One of the countries they consider their worst enemy, Israel, has nukes... so there is no way that they can go against the most demonized government in the area, unless they can fight nuke-fire with fire...

I like to think the USA could lead the world in reducing nuclear bombs, and offering help to countries who wish to use nuclear power, as long as they then sign a treaty allowing inspections, etc. Why not? They are going to get bombs if they want them bad enough, and pretending otherwise is foolish. I hope I am wrong, but I doubt that very much.... We need to go in now and do everything we can to settle this peacefully. If we continue to fly in,like Israel did with Syria, and blow up their nuclear facilities, we are inevitably going to miss one. All it takes is One Bomb, mind you, to bring nightmares to life.

How does one start a movement that transcends religous and political differences, and peacefully applies a few universal principle? I think of the soldiers like this to some degree. The principles may be written in blood at first, but freedom is something that we breath here in the usa like air, and we notice it almost as much... take it away, like happened to me when I went to jail, and you realize just what is meaningful in this world. Being Free is more important than being alive to.

Soldiers have fought for this creed on american soil for as long as humans have existed. Native Americans fought one another, enslaved one another. Europeans kept serfs and treated them like slaves. African tribes sold each other. The middle east is filled with endentured servents, the eastern block overflowing with enslaved prostitutes, children being exploited almost anywhere the law has short arms or is just plain old corrupt. These are wars that we expect the police force to deal with, and they don't.

Why cannot a people's movement be started that supports worldwide activists who call out theses industries, expose them, and try to get the attention of law enforcement officials? People would donate money to buy children and others out of slavery. I dream of being a millionaire and hiring a small army of mercenaries, killing our way through the organized crime behind the slavery, and setting the women and children free to heal in some mountain retreat.

Soldiers and activists, activists and soldiers. What we really are is the infantry -- as in how the Romans used the term, which meant sending out the youngest soldiers first into battle so they would get killed and not them. We still send our young out first to die.

I am proud of soldiers. Have quite a few in my famalies history, stretching back over a thousand years of blood. I respect the sacrifice, know what they are going through is much worse than I could ever imagine. I see their names on the tv on Sunday Mornings, the weeks' dead, as George Stephanapolous looks all serious. Some are too young to have lived much of a life at all. Others old enough to leave a life half lived behind.

I wonder at such times, if George Bush, in lying about nuclear bombs and al queda connections in Iraq, didn't cause all these deaths for no good reason at all? I remember than how much I despised Saddam Hussein and the Taliban, even before america declared them the enemy. And I wanted to see their movements stopped. I could see how dangerous religous extremists would be with nuclear bombs. God could tell them to do something that no sane man would. They want to be martyred, you see, so it is win/win to them if they kill us and die. Like playing a video game where whoever you kill goes to hell, while your fallen rise to heaven into a horizon filled with 72 virgins spread eagle, their labias looking all pink and juicy... dripping into small pools at their feet as they await their Martyr.

In times of war, no matter what our Mullah's or ministers mumble, God takes the side of widows and orphans, and soldiers on all sides, forced to go into a war where the enemy could be anywhere, anytime. How appalling. Can you imagine living in a place where at any moment, an enemy could be lurking, driving by, watching you from a window as they plan their next attack on you and yours? The very ground at your feet could betray you and just fuckig explode.

I was raised on a library in Garrett, Indiana, and heavily influenced by a series of elementary level biographies about Great Men; Lincoln, Washington, etc.. a lot of them were soldiers. I played soldier like anyone. Loved the John Wayne movies...

Then I saw the Vietnam war as a huge mistake. We were the colonialists. Most would argue that the history comes down to this -- we not only fought on the wrong side, we created it ourselves. I lost a lot of faith in the judgement of the armed forces, as well as the politicians, during those years. This one war stopped the USA from wanting to send troops anywhere -- Bosnia's Ethnic Cleansing -- the mass murder and land grab that stains their culture -- finally got Clinton to act. We saved lives. The situation was horrifying.

This was a noble cause. Not some Big Brother machine that was out to take my mind and body for the usages of theMilitary Industrial Complex; just an army sent out across the planet to stop mass murder. Had we not opened our two front war, I would have liked to see our soldiers in Darfur. Years ago. Why not?

Iraq, however we got there, is where we are... the pile of shit George Bush left behind has to be cleaned up. Obama has to make sure that the citizens of Iraq are not left livingin war zones when we leave. If the peace is that tentative, then our pledges to remove troops from Iraq should be changed. Period. It is that simple. Just say, to the american people, this is the only way we can guarantee the safety of the civilians.

Probably will not come to that. Our soldiers will pull out, mostly, and spend their time training new troops to maintain the lines of order that they have left behind in the hands of the fledging Iraqi Police Force, Army, etc...
Others will go where we should have went, after al queda, in Afganistan.

I want to see our soldiers stop the spread of this mental virus. Someone has to do confront the kind of warped minds that blow up a statue of Buddha on a mountain because it offends their religous sensibilities... bans music, keeps women our of schools, etc...

I am proud of the soldiers who removed Saddam Hussein. The people of that country have been given a gift that they will understand as the years pass and the wounds heal. There will be a day when their history books will tell about the Americans who saved their country from a dictator. Afganistan will one day tell their children about how the americans fought of the Taliban, so their country could remain a democracy. This is their revolution. Their chance change for the better. Seize that fucking day.

Why not? Today they were all out celebrating that the American soldiers leaving their city.

I follow the war. Try to imagine what the soldiers are going through, research what the stat's say about how their minds have been effected -- especially after the Stop Gapping started to unravel otherwise sane soldiers.

What are our soldiers symbolically representing as they slouch into Bethelhem? In a way, they are the secular soldiers stopping religous fanaticism. The Taliban originally got a toe hold in Afganistan and other countries, because they offered Law where there was none. They were willing to give up freedoms to get security. First things first, I understand. No one should have to make such choices, and no one can be blamed for doing whatever they could to stop the lawlesnes that was erroding their countries.

Our soldiers give them an option, now. They may hate us a bit, because we brought Hell's Own Fire when we attacked them; later they will benefit from our efforts, whether they acknowledge our footnote in their story.


.. yet writing about the world of war is difficult for me. What else can I add to the endless chatter about these wars?

Some 131,000 US troops remain in Iraq, including 12 combat brigades, and the total is not expected to drop below 128,000 until after the Iraqi national election next January.

'Now is the time'

Iraqi soldiers paraded through Baghdad's streets on Monday in vehicles decorated with flowers and Iraqi flags, while patriotic songs were played through loudspeakers at checkpoints.

You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog, or

Google John Scott Ridgway for other works.

Sunday, June 28, 2009


Well, I guess I have to get over my fears of being a boring talking head in a movie. I have been writing skits, plays, stories, etc... for a long time, and the general rule with me has been that two characters sitting there talking all the time is fine in conversation, but not in a movie, story, etc... There has to be a lot more going on, or you might as well be writing an essay. Metahpor and poetic language add something to the story, as do visuals to films. My first forays into video poetry, about fifteen or more years ago, turned out nice because I read short stories while the camera was focused on a fantastic art collection my old roomate had put together. There were soulful pencil drawings, etc... from all of these art students he knew. This dude started the collection in high school and really has them framed well, etc. The drawings took away my need try to make facial expressions and what not when I read.

Later, when I started going out and reading a lot in public, and then finally got my own show and learned how to read well in public (for years, I got so nervous that my poetry barely came off the way I wanted it to... I also studied under Joel Lipman who insisted that the words on the page should be read almost without inflection, so the words, not the performer, was the star. This has kind of been done away with in modern poetry, especially here in Chicago, where Poetry Slams are all the rage, and performance poetry often relies less on words than shocking subject matter and acting. The great few do something so well that their immitators come in waves, until those immatotors finally start doing their own thing with what they learned from their predecessors, and inspire the whole process over again.

So, sitting here looking into a camera and reading will at least make me a better reader. I do not sit around and watch videos of myself giving readings. I never listened to the radio show when I was on... until later, and I did enjoy it more than I thought I would. Acting all those characters, and some of the embarrassing shit I did, made people laugh but it wasn't always the most pleasent experience for me. Though when a show went great, like when we had a live audicence that was laughing their asses off, there really was nothing like it. The hit of the audience is a great way of finding out what is communicating, but it is also a great censor... I have never pandered, obviously, in my quest toward documenting the times and expressing my opinions.
My motto is, stay out of jail... other than that, fuck with the world in whatever way it make you... with love, or guns.

You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog, or

Google John Scott Ridgway for other works.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Barnery Franks -- Sanity Award

This week congress is looking at decriminalizing pot on a federal level. How far we have come. The states have been leading the way on this issue for a long time.

Now that medical marijuana is making a state and federal battle ground on which makes the dems look unenlightened, they are surprisingly coming out and getting all sane.

The Democrats are supposed to be the party that acts beyond their religious beliefs, into the often secular heart of politics. Pot is one of the most damned things on the planet. Classes given all across the country demonize the drug. Nothing could be said of the sort about drinking, which makes up for fifteen percent of the deaths in some countries. Even though the bible talks about drunks quite a bit, but the only reference I've ever heard about drugs comes from some nutty preacher who said any mention of a 'wizard' in the bible meant someone who used drugs. This guy said this like it was some huge, horrible revelation, instead of some stupid thing he pulled out of his Harry Potter hating ass.

People in america want pot legalized because they see the benefits far outweigh any possible consequences. Taxing the stuff would balanced budgets, and if it is going to be used anyways, the government needs to step in and say, okay, this is the will of the people, so let's do the best we can with the situation. Incarceration is no solution. If pot bars were on corners, instead of drinking bars, the cops would have a lot less to worry about. You do not hear about pot crazed cops beating up bartenders.

In fact, driving on pot is nothing compared to driving on drink. I know. I drove cab in the real world, where a lot of drunks and druggies were behind the wheels. The pot heads were the drivers that everyone wanted. My first boss gave us all weed in the morning, when we stopped back during the day. He swore that stoned drivers did not get into accidents, just the drunk ones.
Anyways, this is not the best of worlds, obviously. I no longer drive stoned, though I would be hypocrite to say it caused me no problems, though they were few. It was fun driving around all buzzed up. I did not smoke until years into the experience by the way. By then I knew the city like the back of my hand, and was a very good, well paid cab driver. So the weed, when I started smoking it, was more a matter of a way to be nice to everyone. I enjoyed listening to music, cruising around the city, meeting people. It was fun. I was in on the pulse of the city, so to speak.

I saw a lot of curious and wonderful sights, hundreds of sunrises over the lake, the city sleepy at night and lit just for me with strings of lights down lake michigan twinkling in the snow. Like driving in a series of gorgous paintings, to me especially, who was always taking pictures, drawing, writing, trying to capture what was going on around me, make stories that showed some sense to what I was seeing on the street -- underlying rules and meanings that belied the often ugly sites and criminals... etc.

Now, fundamentally, we have a chance in America to kind of grow up on this issue. Push past our prejudices and accept that if we want a free country, with less crime, and an easy source of taxes to help our economy (plus less 25k a year prison sentences for users), etc... and all we need to do is say what we all know is the common sense answer --- PROHIBITION HAS NOT WORKED. IT IS TIME TO QUIT victimizing people for being individuals. Not to mention, again, the common sense answer that pot is better than drink for society, our bodies, our minds, our law enforcement officials, etc...

So, hey, barney Frank... Good Job.

This from the Stop The Drug War Site that really keeps you on top of what you damn well should be on top of. Fight for your fucking rights, man. And the rights of others.

Marijuana: Barney Frank Introduces Federal Decriminalization Bill

In a press release last Friday, Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) announced he has introduced a bill that would decriminalize the possession and not-for-profit transfer of small amounts of marijuana. It was the second marijuana bill of the week for Frank, who a couple of days earlier introduced the Medical Marijuana Protection Act.
Barney Frank
Titled the Personal Use of Marijuana By Responsible Adults Act of 2009 (H.R. 2943), the bill would remove federal criminal penalties for the possession of less than 100 grams (about 3.5 ounces) and for the not-for-profit transfer of up to one ounce. The bill would not change marijuana's status as a Schedule I controlled substance, would not change federal laws banning the growing, sale, and import and export of marijuana, and would not undo state laws prohibiting marijuana.

"I think John Stuart Mill had it right in the 1850s," said Congressman Frank, "when he argued that individuals should have the right to do what they want in private, so long as they don't hurt anyone else. It's a matter of personal liberty. Moreover, our courts are already stressed and our prisons are overcrowded. We don't need to spend our scarce resources prosecuting people who are doing no harm to others."

"Congressman Frank's bill represents a major step toward sanity in federal marijuana policy," said Marijuana Policy Project director of government relations Aaron Houston. "The decades-long federal war on marijuana protects no one and in fact has ruined countless lives. Most Americans do not believe that simple possession of a small amount of marijuana should be a criminal matter, and it's time Congress listened to the voters."

As of the middle of this week, the bill had five cosponsors: Reps. Tammy Baldwin (D-WI), Maurice Hinchey (D-NY), Ron Paul (R-TX), Jared Polis (D-CO), and Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA). The bill has been referred to the House Judiciary Committee and the House Energy and Commerce Committee. No word yet on any hearings.

Ten states have already decriminalized the possession of small amounts of marijuana. Those states are California, Colorado, Maine, Minnesota, Mississippi, Nebraska, Nevada, New York, North Carolina, and Oregon. In an eleventh, Alaska, the possession of up to an ounce in one's home is not just decriminalized, it's legal.

Politics & Advocacy Decriminalization - Congress

You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog, or

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Wednesday, June 24, 2009


I just turned on my site and scrolled down.... to find an ad for SCIENTOLOGY. I had put adsense on here for the hell of it... never expecting to make a dime, really. Seeing Scientology advertised... there is not enough money in this world.

I have been watching cults for a long time. Anonymous, to me, is one of the most exciting organizations to arise from the Net Culture. Scientology has hidden behind the idea of religious freedom too long. We live in a world where you can con yourself with your religion, but you cannot expect the government to go along with the con. They only started calling themselves a church because of tax problems, and trying to get tax-exemption status. A purely cynical use of the Cross was made in thie symbol.

Man, I have a lot of reasons to despise the mental paradigm of Scientology. I am sorry that the faces of the damn thing are actual people with feelings and freinds and family. Still, whether they know they are involved on a con or not, governments like France and Germany are going after them and hopefully will drive the money-making-mindscape from their shores.

Funny, one of my freinds girlfreind was bitching at me the other night for getting my buddy interested in cults and especially Scientology. There is more out there exposing that cult than almost any other. Still, I go to THE RICK ROSS CULT INSTITUTE almost everyday and read about daily cult activity all over the globe. They also have an extensive list of the various cults, what they believe, their sins and excesses. A great site that has taught me as much as any course I have taken in the topic.

We as human love when we can see something that is clearly evil that can actually be dealt with. There is few any of us can do to stop nuclear bombs, war, eco-destruction... We can point out when others have been BRAIN WASHED, and try to stop the people who use such techniques for evil purposes. There is genuine research on how to wash a brain. THE PYHSIOLOGY of BRAIN WASHING AND CONVERSION was one of the most interesting reads. I read this when I was around seventeen, and it basically showed how the brain could occasionally overload on types of electrical activity during a conversion experience, and radically change the person. We have seen this since time immortal, it happens. Now, they have of course figured out how to make this happen to people for their own purposes, to convince them to be a part of a cult, etc..

Talk about the evil side of science. Psychiatry for those too cruel to actually treat patients.

On other levels, this brain washing, is going on all the time around us. A culture is being represented in what we allow on our billboards, what is polite talk, which politics are accepted or demonized. We live in a larger organism, a human geography that has MENTAL GRAVITY. Basically, our cultures beliefs are the paths we walk.

Policing Our Culture. Sounds scary. Thought police and all. This is what a closed press means in North Korea.

I am sick of this cult using Religious Oppression as their rallying cry. Makes those who truly are religiously oppressed seem trivial.

If they were truly being oppressed, rather than exposed, they would all be going to jail... or at least the upper-echelon.

Still.... whenever I write about this, after hearing Tom Cruise built a five million dollar bunker somewhere because he is afraid of the people criticizing him, I feel like I have to add that everyone in this cult has been victimized. You have to understand that first, and forgive them for being human beings. ANYONE CAN BE BRAINWASHED. They just happened to fall into the wrong hands at the wrong time. Taking down Scientology is inevitable. There are thousands of such movements in history that come and go, and their shaky foundation and creepy creator give them little hope of surviving in any influential form.

Remember -- that could be your brother in the cult. Your dad. These are people who have been put through a physiological process to make them as they are. They are the result of research into selective scientists by a con man, coupled with something that is inside of all of us.

You have to forgive the individual, and attack the institution. Anonymous will fuck up severly if they, or their supporters, ever resort to any kind of violence, or even vandalism. Scientology does all of that stuff, and they would love for anonymous to lose the moral high ground by fighting fire with fire.

So, no more adsense for me. Scientology ads on this site would cost me more than any man has.

Still, we cannot let the idea of religious oppression seem like a fiction. It happens. It also just so happens that scientology is not a religion at all, but a story, like Dungeons and Dragons, that Hubbard got bunch of people to believe so he could take their money. They are run like a Mafia on a lot of levels, with the added creepiness of intelligent agencies that gather all the dirt on their appoinents, try to break them, keep the Southparks off the air, etc..

You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog, or

Google John Scott Ridgway for other works.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

After the last hospital

I walked out of the hospital, after a couple weeks of being fed seroquil and told that my symptoms were not being caused by the pill, but treated by it. The first person I ran into as I came out of the sliding doors of the hosptial was a hippy looking guy, sitting on the sidewalk. He asked me, "Still religous?"

I replied, "I'm Jesus Christ, what do you think?"

There were all kinds of signs that psychiatrists were never going to believe what I was going through. I spent a lot of time in therapy, and I know their limitations. Anyone treating Jesus would have to assume their patient was crazy. I was not about to be treated for something that is a religion, basically.

There was no talk therapy anyways. They were testing the Christ, not treating the patient. I am sure that some camp want me to forget who I am again. This is the only way to keep the status quo. The only way for people who know I would have a judgement against them to stay sane as I return.

I have made great allowances for how unique this situation is. However people look at me, whether spiritually or pragmatically, I kind of figured this was unprecedented to most. People expected my return in some circles, though even they were surprised. Mostly, I am ignorant of the good and bad that has been done in my name. At least that which is directly tied to me.

Would psychiatry had kept me on the same drugs, I would still be in a frantic state, living every moment like I was trapped in a myth. Why did they do this? I suspect they wanted me to look foolish. That is a fairly well known tactic. Why did they make me look good is as puzzling to me?

My memories of myself are as a man. Flawed as any. Trying and failing and trying again. I see no reason for anyone to hate me or love me for what I think. I should be an equation in a huge problem they are working on, the formula for their own view of the world. Their personally cosmology would be much less for using just me.

I am a man who feels in way over his head. What the hell do I know about trying to help this world? Nothing more than a lot of other people, it seems to me. I can be a lightening rod for an issue, little else.

Poetry is the word of God. Bob,

The man who asked if I was still religous, in the summer of 08, was the face of these events bare and honest, as they were for a brief period that the religous madness kept me from really participating in. The writing was too vital to be allowed to remain in the ether. Or so I thought.

I do not want to think that there is a cult of personality out there that would expect me to their God. When this happened for awhile, I had to shut that down. People find their own salvation. No one is ever going to give it to you, though many will try to sell it...

If I were to come to earth and just declare, okay, Christianity is the correct religion... and anyone who doesn't like that has a war on their hands with the Son of God? The world would have burned itself down into cinders and mushroom clouds.

Bettter I just tell the story of a Christ who has been reincarnating as all sorts of beings, including prophets and jesters, seeing all the various sides of humanity. Better I never start a church, get a follower, build anythng more substantial than the relationship of a writer to their reader. Just know, though... My religion is here to stay, inside my quiet heart. I AM here to stay.

You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog, or

Google John Scott Ridgway for other works.

Sunday, June 21, 2009


I was humiliated
stunned into hate
lashing out with whatever words
crossed my pain ravaged mind

why are they looking at me...
why are they taking all of this so seriously....

why... why... why...

You left me alone with such thoughts
one mind against millions

I thought I had a choice
take life seriously or don't
laugh or scowl

run and hide
or stand up and fight a losing war

the litany of the fatalist
raised disconnected

thrust out drugged and ravaged
into your minds
a creature noticing the blood of his birth
hearing the screams of his mother
Why were you surprised when
I cut off the hand that feeds me and ate it?
Stick your hand in the cage of a beaten dog...

I have come to take you home
disbelieved and disheveled and distraught
a dangerous creature born into a morass of myths

Truth whispered into the wind became a storm front

I watch the world unraveling around me with disbelief

either I have been played by man or God?

Nothing left to lose but my shame

they leave me alone with my thoughts
a modern monk
a kept monkey
caged angel

an idiot savante poet
who lost control of the plots in his prose

the wreckless destroyer
reluctant to even pick a flower

I did not choose this
I am not the narcisstist with a mirror on his podium
trying to get my hand in your wallet

I am more than you know
a mystical factor no one can predict

You stole from me when your dow was at 1400
lost 6 thousand points for your insult

I understand enough of how this works to see the consequences in the cosmos
God has entered the flesh and nothing is as it was before

Those who know well who I am should heed these words
my forgiveness is not my Father's

What you do to me will cost you
denial alone is not enough to dispell this curse

We stand now on Common Ground before God
Judged not by our power in life but our worth in spirit
The Meek have inhereited the earth

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Bucked Up

The summer sun slouches in
Lazy and hot and tired

Our bodies slow down like lizards on a noon warmed rock in the desert

warped sweaty slumbers take the place of crisp, cool sleep

wombed into the humidity
content to be a splash of feelings
enjoying that panarama

we will pull this off...
or at least put off the end
for another idyllic day

stupid little films

we fear most what we say between the lines
the unspoken messages we can't hide

We seldom lower our shields of persona
too dangerous in a realm without logic
where the demonization of man
makes the mundane seem satanic

a christian an object to be stoned/reviled
lands where conversion is illegal
realms of sects battling
for control of the Law

we fear silence itself will betray us
that our distance from the putrid mess of politics
gives our tacit approval to the excesses of sociopaths

laws unto ourselves alone at night in our thoughts
the pyshics of movement suspended for a flight of mind
we make stupid films

as a boy it was hitting a homerun in the national leauges in baseball
later I developed an elaborate sci-fi fantasy tale that I told myself
a bedtime story that lasted years
I would just begen letting the story roll and fall asleep
over the years that fantasy grew elaborate

my girlfriend told me that she thought a lot about me when she went to bed at night
I told here about my sci-fi fantasy and she hated me for destroying the mood

I am laying in bed and am contacted by an alein craft
Telling me that I am advance scout
Who has set off an SOS
calling his bretheren to come to the aide of the fledgling life of earth

I was always getting ripped off as a cab driver
took these frustrations and told the aliens to cure the planet
they were going to have to kill off segments of the population
child molesters, rapists, murderers...
In their death a decree is left, describing their sins...
which the aliens have been recording on the long journey
using the eyes of thousands of planets to diagnose the disease on earth

All of the worlds leaders would be transported to a sports stadium
They would be told that War was stopping that very day
Should another soldier raise a gun, they would die
total war for total peace. A sad and brutal end to a sad and brutal time.

the problem with my story is that I forget the billions of other characters
who rightly so would probably disagree with me -- change my mind given a chance

I would never want to see humankind so clinical toward their fellows
As the aleins in my musings
the propagandists can make it so for the emphemeal truth of a speech
create witchhunts in our minds
limbaugh's ditto heads and Hillary Clinton --
a woman
hated by simply fanning a few flames
in otherwise dim minds

Used to be a law called equal time in the states
give one side and you have to give the other

Now one side is fine with Fox
stupid little films
they take my aleins and make them our neighbors
create painted birds for the pack to attack

Wading out into the on-rush of words
the first thing you notice is that belief is qute different than truth
belief in a psychic phenomena that needs no facts to exist
we take almost everything on faith -- the trains will run, the sun will shine...

faith is an amber that can warm you
or burn down your house with your family inside
inspires Ghandi and David Koresh.
an abusive lover indifferent to our pleas
our default companion
when we walk off toward the reaper

Friday, June 19, 2009


Life on the Bounty
A Captain Bligh on every side

Eyes in the passing neighbors
Eyes in the sky
Eyes in phones
Look out of utube
up from Google Earth
read every internet line

everyone see's a bit of the same sky
calls it their own
everyone experiences a bit of the same god
calls it their own

you hear the undertones of violence in the news reports
the barely maintained beasts among us
out there hunting right up until they are hunted down

violence is the duty of some and the madness of most

i watch drunks and crack heads getting busted on Cops
mostly they roll in after someone has already been stabbed
and try to sort out what happened

I call the show let's watch drunks getting busted
M says one more episode of the show will push her to suicide

I see her point of course
there have been times I couldn't watch that show
like slowing down to watch a car wreck
other times I am sociopathetic,
conditioned to feel no emphathy by the bruising onslaught of Pain

the violent scenes from my stories
seem ghoulish

the real blood
makes the fake seem perverse

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

On Being A Man

I met a girl in the park one day, reading a bible and looking a little desperate. I am not sure how we started talking, but she almost immediatly told me that she used to do drugs and drink and have promiscous sex (oh, how I hate to hear 'used to' and 'promiscious sex in the same sentence).

She was very, very earnest, suddenly, clutching her bible to her breast and asking me in a voice on the edge of tears, "Is there a Jesus Christ? I mean, is there?"

Strange thing to have a stranger ask me? There I was, having had a Christ personality rise up out of my psych, a series of mystical experiences, etc... enough contact with the supernatural for it to have become natural, though this was nothing I ever sought out.

I thought for awhile Christ was the invention of a Roman Politician of sorts, someone who could be used to give people a religion to follow, which was condusive to their governments -- indeed, controlled by them. For most of our political history, religions have controlled what government was in power, and still do in the middle east.

I didn't want to give her a flippant answer, though I am not so sure I want to talk to some stranger about my deepest ponderings. I cannot explain what I feel is going on in the world in a few sentences, let alone answer a question for someone else like, Is There A Jesus. This was answered for me in my own time. No one's sincere opinion on the matter meant very much to me at all. I liked the idea of God, but the world around didn't seem like it was controlled by any God I could understand. I felt like, "If this is God's World, then he is a fuck up."

I wrote once that God was drunk when he made man. An awful accident.

Now, I have this long version of time in my mind, man from the period of being a one cell animal, and on up to the species we see today... and the birth and death of planets, and stars... in infiity, such things are always happening in such numbers that to try to count them would soon enough fill a universe with zeros..... in this vision of infinty, the bit of time that we are on this earth, no matter how long some moments seem, are nothing.... simply, flat out, nothing. What you do here is such a short bit of time in Infinity that your soul will one day remember this life in a string leading back infinitely...

I remember suddenly that I was writing about being In Loyola Park, at the beach, in the fall, talking to an attractive woman in a puffy, insulated blue coat, clutching a bible to her chest and imploring me answer the most important question some people ever ask themselves???? Is there a Christ?

I wonder how much she knows of me, then realize the only reason she has come up to me at the park is because she is aware of what has happened to me. I forget sometimes, that I live in this vaccum, an enemy of the state. The character in my own personal fiction in Chicago, where I play a private citizen and the world gives me the illusion that i am a man. There is still a part of me that can never answer someone's question about what I am????

I can only tell them what I have experienced. From there, they can think what they will. It makes no difference to me just who I am, or what I am. Every political, and most religious, systems are made up of fictions -- again, only the force produced is real. To me. I am not going to get trapped believing a lot of things that are purely speculation.

Like a lot of people who became highly secular, I was ready to write off religion as ... pretty much, brain washing. People got themselves to believe that they had someone who was always there to hear their problems, and steer them in the right direction. Another being inside their heads.

The loneliness of merely being alone with your thoughts goes away when God is there at all times. When I did believe in God, I was fairly earnest at times. This always went away. I just ended up thinking that even contemplating God was a big waste of time.  Like reading rare descriptions of history filled with ficitons meant to prop up the leading personality of their cult. I was fascinated by them as a group, in a way, but their beliefs becaming inter-changably absurd. No one was going to prove there was a god. Everyone told me as much.

So, the woman in the park.... She had been reading before I walked by with the dog. I finally anwered her question about Jesus. "I'm pretty sure that there is a Jesus. I've had some odd experiences in that area myself."

My answer disappointed her. What if I had answered, "Yes. There is a Jesus.  I Am."

How could I explain to her that yes, there is a jesus, though the person they read about in their bible is an often poor representative of the flesh of Jesus, Son of Joseph and Mary. I did not want to encourage her to join some church to worship a strict set of rules that man imposes upon man with no regard to the real concerns of God.   I would not want to send her to a church where they tell her that 'she has a history of being promiscious.' She slept with a lot of guys for awhile. So what? She blurted this out along with being a recovering addict, so maybe she had some serious problem, but from what I have seen, people who get  drunk a lot indulge in promiscuity sometimes. I did. I hardly consider this a sin, but her church did. They told her, more than likely, that sex outside of marriage is bad.

Well, in reality, that all depends. Single people want to have sex, as well, and should. This is one of the healthiest, easiest ways to make life bearible, I guess. There were times when I felt like my entire life was falling apart, but I still had a great sex/love life, which was what meant the most.... which it didn't, actually, since hunting and gathering come before sex to most folks, but it was a nice rock to crawl up on and bask in the sun.

Sin. Different people go beyond sin. Some think that there is nothing that they do that they will really be punished for. Murderers and theives and the like. Prisons are filled with people who flat out did not think they would be caught.

I can remember nothing else about my conversation with her. Just her face, looking like she was asking me if Her Father was alive or dead?

I say yes, in these books I write now that the world is in on the buried secret, the treasure from Heaven that men have lived and died for manifesting on the shores of Lake Michigan...

I was thinking about the dream I had about endless lightening flowing from chest, and lava from my back... the one of three dreams, one showing the face of God, and another showing me a buddy being beaten up (which indeed was happening when I dreamt it). I wish I could decipher something metaphorically pleasing out of these images.

I can see them as nothing but the depressing thought that armeggedon is going to destroy the earth, and we are going to fly off toward the Father. This sounds like such a cop-out to me.

A thirty rock episode commented on my The Burning Episode. which is exactly what I was writing about the burning, and had a clerk burn down her business so she could get out of her responsibilities.

I took this as the thought that I was ignoring the problems in the world, after coming to the conclusion that all planets die. Every single one. And if I AM,then I have to face what that means. If all of the prophecies are correct, and my dreams validated, there is going to be, at some time, a cataclysmic event which will destroy all life on the planet. And it will take this to release all souls from the reincarnation cycle. The Time when the end will come, it says in matthew, is known not to the son, or man, but only by God."

"Hello, Mam, I'm Jesus. I'm here to end the world. Uh, wait, it's not as bad as you think..."

No, much, much worse than that.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Illinois Politicians refuse to police themselves... what a surprise... not.

below is part of an article by Carol Marin, who is an ace, seasoned, and respected reporter for Chicago's Democratic leaning paper, the Sun Times. Over the course of the last few months, the political cabal here in Illinois has been pretending to put together a reform bill... what they ended up with was a lot of talk about how they were going to end to corruption, and . . . nothing. A bill that has been gutted of any use to voters. I hate to think of all the tax dollars wasted paying them for debating an issue. That is all they did. We paid for them to spew hot air about how rightous they were, when they knew from the start it was all a cynical ploy.

The only solution to this mess is a state wide, grass roots campaign, built around petitions to put this issue on the ballot. We need to stop believing the delusion that politicians will put their self-interests beneath those of their constituents. As voters, we need to use our powers. One of the most powerful ways to avoid having to bow down to the polticians fucked up games, is to petition.

From The June 3rd Suntimes, Carol Marin....

What passed the Senate --campaign finance reform -- was watered-down, loophole-ridden legislation. It gives House Speaker Michael Madigan -- the real governor of Illinois -- and Senate President John Cullerton even more power over passing out money to their favored candidates.

As this debate played out, plenty of you have tried your best to weigh in. You've called, written, faxed, and e-mailed (except to Madigan, who doesn't bother with e-mail).

So far, it hasn't made a difference, something Collins understands but doesn't happily accept. "We came from the view that after all the eloquence, all the scandal, that the sky was the limit," he said by phone Friday.

"The state" said Collins, "did not get what it deserved."

No, it didn't.

In just the last eight days, consider the news stories that have come our way while the Legislature has been in session:

• • A fund-raiser for Quinn offered "face-time" with the governor to donors who were encouraged to give a suggested $15,000. Quinn later called it unauthorized and a mistake.

• • Sen. Roland Burris offered yet another crazy, contradictory explanation of how newly released federal wiretaps on which he was recorded discussing campaign contributions weren't really "pay-to-play" conversations with Rod Blagojevich's fund-raiser brother even though they sounded exactly like "pay-to-play."

• • Ald. Isaac Carothers of the 29th Ward was indicted, like his alderman-father before him, for allegedly taking $40,000 worth of kickbacks from a clouted developer who allegedly funneled third- party political donations to Carothers' aunt, a Cook County judge.

All three stories, in one way or another, involve campaign cash.

Illinois is at or near the bottom of the national reform barrel when it comes to regulating political donations. But hey, it's right at the top of the list when it comes to legislative creativity. It pretends to regulate what political action committees or party leaders can give to candidates even though it puts absolutely no limits on "in-kind" contributions such as staff, television ads and direct mail.

While there are federal limits of $4,800 per election cycle, our "un-reform" limits are a laughable $20,000 for a state senator. Quinn is apparently so desperate to declare a reform victory that he's willing to say with a straight face that this is the best we can do.

It's not.

And a courageous member of the Democratic majority, Rep. Julie Hamos, made that clear in an impassioned speech Friday on the House floor, demanding to know why party loyalty should dictate that rank and file act "like lemmings" for their leadership.

If the House votes to support this un-reform bill on Saturday, she's clear: "It won't fool the public."

Below is a comment I left on her site.

What a surprise... Machiavelli lives on. Everyone should read that slim book, THE PRINCE, and see just how the politicians and others stay in power. The recipe is there, written hundreds of years ago. I always used to say that some neo-con gave Reagen A Machiavelli coloring book to explain his 'role' as president.

A Poltical Reform bill needs to be drafted by people outside of politcal offices, and put on a state ballot, where the voters can decide for themselves if they want reform.

Relying on these boofs to police themselves makes No Sense.

Mark Twain once said, "I don't vote. It only encourages them." Right now, we have a decent president because people decided to once again think that there might be some 'hope' in the voting booth. The politico's in Springfield are displaying the kind of behavior that destroys a democracy by making cynics of the sane.

Madigan and other entrenched forces of Machiavellian politics have given whoever runs against them a good speach or two, and with the two major newspapers in Chicago working hard to make the change toward open government and attacking corruption, progress might finally be made.
Obviously, if on such a simple issue, that everyone wants, the polticians still ignore the people, we have no real opposition party in Springfield to protect the interests of he voters. No, right now we have a crew of polticos from both parties who agree on one thing -- they will not pass any legislation that could harm their re-elections.

You have to wonder if only a new party, like the Greens, will be independent enough to do what the voters want, instead of whatever serves to get them re-elected?

CHICAGO LOSES 5 million a year to corruption....

This from a study of local corruption by UIC's political science department. The belt strapping that I told you was going to finally force people to clean out politics is here, and paying a 500 million dollar a year price to keep Daly and his corrupt Machine in power is a luxury that we can no longer afford.

500 million. I guess he could give the cops their raise if he was not corrupt. Interesting Irony there.

Today, we are hearing that his nephew joins his son in being exposed as sleazily making his way through life with his criminal connections to the Machine. This time, the Daly faction took money out of retirement accounts and spent it wildly, losing millions... makes me think that 500 million figure is low balling -- especially when you consider the sale of the cities parking meters for a price that was much lower than it would have been if Daly insiders had not set themselves with a sweethear deal.


PEOPLE ARE BUYING THE PUBLIC'S PROPERTY, BUT DALY THINKS THAT IT IS HIS... The city has already been shown to be losing money on the deal with the parking meters -- they could have been sold for a lot more, but Daly wanted to keep the issue from being discussed by anyone before he shoved it down our throats. If he was serving the Public, he would have wanted a discussion of what he was doing, so he could get the best intelligence possible together to make a decision.

That kind of logical, round table logic bounces off dictators. Daly is as close to a king as this country has seen. Runs Chicago like a fiefdom. Since this is a Democratic terroritory in the states, his power base has proven vital in national politics. His power is our power, we think... if he is a little corrupt, oh well... he inherited that mess and had to deal with it best he could.

We forget that we pay for his standing army. Pay in getting officials in city positions that they are not qualified for. Pay in losing the representation that would be ours if the Alderman were not afraid to piss off Daly. We need a Mayor who you can hate or love without fear that you will not get what you want from the city unless you go along with da king.

As we continue our study of public corruption, we have discovered that our
original findings underestimated the level of corruption in recent years. We now know
that more than 1500 individuals have been convicted of myriad forms of public
corruption since 1970. Based upon the testimony before the Illinois Reform Commission
and our own research, we now believe that the cost of corruption, or “corruption tax,” for
the Chicago and Illinois taxpayer is at least $500 million a year. This is based upon
testimony before the commission that about 5% of state government contracts are given
out to political cronies and campaign contributors and on our own tallies of the costs of
the major scandals over the last four decades.
In our last report we provided a detailed analysis of the 30 aldermen and former
aldermen convicted of public corruption since 1970. In this report we describe some of
the major scandals of the last four decades, a timeline of more than 375 convicted
individuals at all levels of government, and a further analysis of some of the costs of
corruption which have caused us to revise our estimate of the corruption tax. The details
of these scandals and their costs are included in the appendices of this report.
Our research on all aspects of corruption is continuing. But we provide this
update to support the report of the Illinois Reform Commission and to contribute to the
ongoing debate in the state legislature. Only comprehensive reforms can lessen the level
of corruption in Chicago and Illinois, currently the capitals of corruption in the United
Given the high cost of corruption, we cannot hope to adopt a prudent city, county,
or state budget without reform. Otherwise we will continue to pay too much for
government services; we will keep honest businesses from locating here; and we will
slow economic recovery from the current recession. Citizens will continue to distrust
government at all levels and consider tax increases unfair.
Here are a few examples of some of the costs of co

You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.


There is some overlap... but they are all different.

Monday, June 01, 2009


I just discovered that someone took a post down from this blog. One that was critical of Mayor Daly. The first of two I wrote just before my computer mysteriously could no longer access my internet account. When I called to tell Comcast the problem, they snottily told me that the problem was with my computer, and not theirs. Nothing showed that to be true on my end. I was suspicious at the timing, since I have been knocked off line before by the government and the other forces that oppose me. After writing this critical article, I saw people protesting downtown that Daly needed to be removed, and the two newspapers in town started a clean government campaign.

I forget sometimes that my words are so potent. They make an enemy of me at their own peril. The Daly administration is now on my list of entractable powers that need to be kicked the hell out of politics.

I do not care how strong they think they are... a simple, unending litany of the sins of this administration should be enough to drive the king con out of power.

The audacity of these people is matched only by their short sightedness; this is a system of law we live in that despite its faults, is ever-evolving. And we are evolving toward fairness -- the more people who demand it, the sooner it happens. The inter-net generation is not going to fall for the usual scams, simply because they will access to a diverse set of opinions to take their own from.

And people will look for other people to treat them fairly, and will act adversly to those who do not. Daly has set about launching a hell of a lot of unfair agreements with developers and god knows who else -- the most recent being the selling off of the parking meters in Chicago to an inside group for a huge discount that would not have survived being played out in the free market. He hid what he was doing until the lastt minute, then shoved it through.

He needs secrecy to survive. He can blow off all the reporters he wants at press conferences, but he cannot so easily blow off the voters.

The Democrats have to be ready to replace him with someone who is nationally known, and respected. Jessie or Johnathon Jackson should take a stab at the fat round baffoon. Sooner or later, someone is going to knock him out of power.., and since he has decided to fight me, you should expect this to be sooner rather than later.

Cleaning up the world has been my concern. Now I AM ready to put a razor focus on this Criminal. He rose from a family that bestows rights without qualifications. Think about that. Chicago politics, for most of their existence, have been run by people who looked at their core constituents as people who they had bought with jobs. You do not necessarily get the best people when any chump off the street who likes to take the easy way out is hired. This is part of why they are always ending up in jail.

Daly wants to come on my site and take down my criticism of him, ... that is a drum roll from their side that we at war. WITH A HEAVY HEART, I HAVE GATHERED MY WEAPONS FOR WAR AND RODE OUT TO MEET THE ONE WHO OPPRESSORS MYPEOPLE.

I am always sad to see someone is my enemy, though I knew as much when he double dealed with the cops on their raise. Chicago cops have a hellish job at times. They have made a lot of mistakes, as humans do, but like soldiers, they deserve every forgiveness for cracking under the pressure of protecting the public -- that is a natural reaction to having to do shit people would otherwise prefer to avoid all to hell. I do not want to romanticize cops. TV does that enough. Still, they deserve some respect for putting their lives on the line to protect society from predators. I am not saying they should be let off for crimes -- indeed, they should prosecuted to the full extent off the law, because part of your oath as a cop is to the law. When they break the law, they are no longer a cop. They may have the badge, etc... but then they are just another enemy of the people. Like Burge.

Torture is in right now in the highest rooms of this country, and in a lot of countries getting beat up by the cops and tortured into a confession is routine. I can understand the impulse. I also know that I would never give in to it. I have left JOBS where they asked me tell lies -- because I will lie for my own purposes, like everyone does, but when I am asked to lie for someone else, I am entering a conspiracy to protect another from what is obviously going to be criminal behavior, and that is uncompatible with most of my ethics (God knows I break unfair laws, but stealing from people, etc... is beyond my moral understanding -- I could not live with myself when I am acting immoral. My depressive side takes over. This is why I gave up the drinking.).

I need people like cops more than I need a Daly. I have a vast capacity to rally people, unprecedented in human history... which is exactly what has been prepared for the RETURN OF CHRIST. Like the people who immediatly left office when I wrote a poem about how the mighty will fall before this Christ.... Daly would be better off planning on getting out at his next attempt at re-election, though I suspect he is like Cheney, and will defy the people's rights to a choice in what their politicians do until the very end... when he learns that the people usually get what they want in the end, simply because there are more of them and time and society tend to work like that, or there never would have been such a thing as Democracy, and the entire world would by now be run by one king, who if he were a Hitler, would gas his enemies. Or a Cheney, who would send out his hit squad.

Daly is the face on a vast conspiracy of crime that has invaded politics and found a welcome home in a club that only the vastly wealthy or influential can even enter. Politics in this city has become a means of passing along a corrupt dynasty. We should be better people than this... we can be. The choice truly is ours, not Daly's..

Bring it on Dick, I will defeat you . Ready to take the great gamble? Ready to see just what kind of forces I can rally to send you packing?

You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.


There is some overlap... but they are all different.


I use the metaphors of war too often for the tastes of some. In a philosophy class with Dr. Sarah Hoagland -- who is one of the great moral figures in my mind, someone who know has to be taken into accoount in my thinking on a lot of issues --- talked about how we needed to change the metaphors in our mind to become a more peaceful being, and the class wrote from the perspective of using metaphors of peace,, etc...

True enough, we can become more peaceful by forcing ourselves to learn to think in terms of peace. One way of doing this is to pray for those who are your philosophical enemies. The human has intrinsic worth that has nothing to do with their behavior -- what I call their souls, and most have the ability to change into better beings who do not repeat their aberrrent behavior. Most anyone who reaches middle age can look back to their youth and see stupid, destructive paths that they went down -- usually because they knew no better. We have to offer others forgiveness to forgive ourselves.

When I drove cab, at first I would get stressed out and scream at everyone for fucking up in traffic... I was like a cop around a million criminals I could do nothing about. As time passed, and I put in the godzillion hours it takes to make a living at that job, I found that all of the stupid things other drivers did, I sooner or later found myself do. I cut in front of people when I felt I had to. I accidently went before someone I should not have at a four way stop... etc. I never ment to harm anyone, but I set off the FLIGHT OR FIGHT reaction in other drivers, and they freaked.

After a few years, I became buddhistic about affronts from other drivers, taking them as an aberration in the driving habits of otherwise good people, which is how I was viewed by the sane on the road. An seeing the insane anger everywhere on the roads made it absurd to me. This was a natural shift in the metaphorica meaning that someone cutting me off in traffic meant. This new metaphor that defined other drivers as good people who do rather mundanely things wrong, like making mistakes while driving that lead to pissing off other drivers with everything from taking an unearned right aways to accidents.

I was thinking about these issues yesterday, as I discussed hatred with a couple good friends, and I actually felt a lot of hatred rising through me as we politly discussed how these two had gotten rid of their hatreds. J. had us once again watching star wars. When we were roomates, and driving cab together, I would come home day after day to find him watching star wars... for months. This was prettty bizarre to me, since I was just starting to hang out with a crowd I will call 'gamers,' and they were.... they had come together at a game shop, an old school one with board games in a back room where pot smoking gamers gathered and found themselves suddenly meeting the smartest kids in Wicker Park.

J. paused the movie at one point, told us to shut up and listen to the most important line in all the movies. I wish I could quote it directly, but to paraphrase.... "Do not give in to the darkside."

J. says that at 13, he was full of hate, then he heard this and something dawned on him... he could hate or love. This is a guy who I have to say has a lot of anger in some ways, you see it in conversations with him, where he is very on, to the point that it becomes something of a social stigma, making him very much an individual in a country of LieBots. Despite this, he does not hate people in the bigger sense..... no rascism (in fact, he threw people out of his cab for using the N word, so like me, he has taken a stand in society and actually defends it fearlessly, like I do). I do believe that he changed the metaphors in his mind with this revelation from George Lucas.

I will never give up my hatreds, but I know that it is better not to dwell too long on them. Giving up my hate would mean that I no longer am revolting enough. One should hate injustice. Hate and love are as far as we can go in the opposite direcftions of the various scales of human thought. My hatred is in the writing, seething there like a burning coal, ready to ignite. My fires burns down houses, planets.... Placing it on paper, in the logic of language, causes me to examine what I want my anger to do. Language itself is civilizing. A means to communicate. Some think writing is meant to express themselves... I used to. And no one understood what I was writing. When I learned how to communicate as one of the pillars in my writing craft, I became much more powerful as a force in the consciousness of mankind, because language was created to tell others something. I know. I was there. My seed alone spread this Gift From God. I am the tree of knowledge. The apple that drove you from the blissful ignorance of being an animal responding wordlessly to stimula. Humankind has mourned this fall, and blamed others (women, mostly... and Satan), since first figuring out that words could make bad things last a long time in our heads, instead of being forgotten in the mind of the animal.

Think of the difference between worrying that a lion will eat you, and only caring about this when you are threatened. People essentially no longer worried. We were all like sociopaths in a way... though we cared and helped the others in our tribe without thought as well. Watch elephants protecting their wounded, and mourning the deaths of their loved ones...

In this new mind we developed, the bi-cameral mind as it has been described by one greatly influencial book in the seventies, we began to hate the things around us in our thoughts, not just hating something that was threatening our ability to live or breed for a breif period that is forgotten afterwards.

This hatred was later used in the creation of religions. We love some things, hate some things. Religion then was used to pass on knowledge, like History.

At this point in the global battle for the rising culture on the internet -- the first truly global means of spreading knowledge, the greatest tool any DECONSTRUCTIONALIST could dream up -- hatred and love are used to manipulate our thinking all the time. Humans are played like musical instruments with two notes. An easy one to play, if you so choose. Propogandists know this. Look at Scientoloy or the CIA, they both put out thousands of books, and monitor who is writing what about them (in the case of the CIA, they now monitor just about everything, if you consider that all communications on the phone and the internet are now fed through computers that look for activitivists who are both doing legal, and illegal acts)). The Scientologists were just banned from Wickapeeheadia for spreading lies about themselves, shaping the free encyclopedia in ways that stop them from being exposed as a scam. The CIA is ostensively a law enforcement organization, but they are also social planners... we see this in how they manipulate politics in various countries, by funding terrorists and rebels and politicians and other organizations that are so low key as to never be discovered.

Our hates are used by Limbaugh to stir people up so much that they cannot think rationally. If your mind is filled with hate, like this bafoon's mind obviously is, you spread the exact opposite of communication. Liberals need to use this same hatred. We should never shy away from showing our outrage with the sins of the neo cons. The reason we have two parties in this country is to have opposition -- without it, there is no one who is going to turn someone in from their party... they become loyalists not to the law, but to each other -- no different than mafiosos' who make a pledge to put their Family above even God.

So, there it is, the word of the Son Of God.... telling you to hate sometimes. Even kill sometimes.

I respect people who are committed enough to join the armed forces. They give up everything in their life to become a being who serves mankind. There are a lot of similarities to joining a religous order, and this no accident, of course -- Monks saved Western Civilization once, and everything that exists here, in a way, is influenced by coming through that Praxis ... in this way, God shaped a new way of being based on the best of the revelations I had spread throughout societies in my earlier incarnations.

At this point in HIStory, we are more in our heads than ever. This is part of the transition from what we call the satanic -- the animalistic instincts of man to fuck or fight. We want very little fucking or fighting, because we want to live by our word, not our gut. This has led to innovators writing about how we should be more animalistic, and the various myths used by hunters that being a predator is natural to humans. We can certainly live by our basest instincts, like we see in some prisoners who rape and kill with impunity within the surreal confines or our 'lock them up society'. This kind of behavior certainly seems like it is inspired by the devil, and indeed, we see people who back their madness with the ideas of Satanism, like serial killers and psychos who think that their behavior has to be inspired by one or the other, the light or the dark, the love of god or the love of satan.... However, to say this is inspired by the devil, would mean that animals who act on instinct are 'satanic.'

Satan is an angel who defied God for what he felt were rightous reasons. He gained followers who believed that humankind, in their long march to God, were trapped in heinous existences, where they were better off being amoral animals and enjoying thier sex themselves, using thier bodies and minds to seek pleasure, the brief sanctuary for our emotions in this Realm Of Pain. If satan had truly won, humans would have no higher culture. Satan saw the error of his ways long behavior he was obliterated by his son. He was obviously losing... His tactic then was to go for the leaders in society, mostly. This is one of the reasons I have been a king so often, and indeed, why I am the king of king in this life... the underground voice behind all you see in the media.

Many knew of my coming birth. The Son Of God does not arrive on earth undeclared. I would never have lived through my infancy if Russia or China had not made a secret agreement to one day go along with the revelations brought by this angel, my very presence would have caused a nuclear war. I am an asset that no one would want in the hand of their enemies.

The Republicans have been basically destroyed by my campaign against them. My plan is to leave this country with other parties. Their sustainability is gone. The time has come for the liberatarians to give the fuck up. Governments must take responsibility for societies, have got to to be the ultimate care givers, and judge, because humans often make bad decisions on their own.

I sure as hell trust Obama more than most governors and state congressmen and senators. Racism, sexism, and the environment are all issues that the Fed's have often led the movement. They only came in because they were encouraged by the People in active revolt against local officials.... because like any government, they have a lot of different issues competing for the attention, and have to be radically awakened on occasion to the new priorities of their time.

We need health insurance, and we need one that is run by the governments. Think of it, health care would save all the money keeping that stupid ass industry afloat. All of that money wasted would save thousands and thousands -- if not millions, of lives, simply by people keeping up regular appointments for check ups.... this then would save a lot of money, as prevent medicene has been shown to do over and over.

I would like to see this country use a system like was in place in the soviet union, where even doctors stil made the same as everyone else. This is not realistic with the present residents of this continent. Too many rich people have too much control -- they will not give up their luxuries without a fight to the death. This has been shown in country after country. The government controlled health care would pay the doctors a set amount, like it does now, which leads a lot of doctors to shun medicaid patients. They are selfish bastards, basically. Well, let them keep their practices, if the ultra rich want to stay on private insurance plans... I hope they go broke. Doctors and lawyers make way more than they are worth, because the money they have is used to prop up their powers... not to mention, lawyers make the laws and thus will always stack the deck in their own favor. Only a force like the federal government could confront such powerful adversaries.

I am not saying there is not a place for medicene and lawyers. These are great profesions for the right people -- the same people who would go into the field without the carrot of being rich -- I am saying we can only reign in the rouges by using the COLLECTIVE POWER OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.

So, use that hate to fight the haters. Fight fire with fire, man....

I was in charge long before I was told anything.