bittersweet year

triumph and tears
a shredding of one self for another
with all the attendant scar tissue left behind
the angry map on our souls

I think long and hard on the burden of the one who brings the end
the apocalyptic one who burns with unwanted fires

Jesus arrives in flames and horror
the hidden message behind the coloring books of lambs laying down with lions

I am a reluctant messiah...


they found me hidden in a man
the angels of awakening
brought out my voice from the opaque black parts of my unconscious
where a beast of savage grace growled and raged and nursed his wounds

a blue eyed hot blooded killer
thankful for the peace of his neighborhood, his friends, his words

I am willing to exist beyond human judgment
on a throne of my own perceptions
in a land of my own making
lecturing from an obscure podium
at a half interested crowd


The Christ cannot imagine how life can go on as before

Forgets and remembers that most people do not believe he exists
he barely feels like he exists some days
in others he gives into running away from the truth
into any fantasy that can bring a glimmer to his eye for a moment

He knows, though...

The opinions of others no longer matter.
His mission is clear.
Lead as many people as he can out of the mundane,
into the realm of the peaceful and sane and inane.


The Father's plans consume him
He cannot understand the motives of God?
The atheist he was awhile was idiotic enough to think
that if there was a plan, he would have figured it out and thus... it was not there

he hears the laughter of God... the one word He intones over and over
from the center of all.... LOVE.

What if I am here to lead a herd of souls to heaven
could I turn from such a thought?
Would it make any difference if I were to be jesus or not?

I prayed hard on blasphemy for months
the last thing I want to do is proclaim myself a god
this is the stuff of madness

what is just is

bullets and rose petals

fall from my hand
the bullets hit first
clatter harsh and ugly

the rose petals drift from side to side
elegantly, silently down

every laugh is a lie
when tears are required

I am far from the peace of faith
puzzled by where I am on this Calvary Walk


I want to be nameless
words without a persona
blank

a clean start

I used to start over all the time







































































You are welcome to spread my poems by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com

http://thereligiouspsychokillershitlist.blogspot.com

HTTP://generalfactorx.blogspot.com

http://secretposse.com

There is some overlap... but they are all different.