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Certainly this is the Zeitgeist of AngeR.. & the political parties aS CULTS.

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There is a backlash now against the anger itself... people like John Stewart, who rightly say try to work this out and keep the rhetoric civil or we are going to get nowhere, are totally right.  However, to argue that the anger itself is the problem is  is kind of like telling someone to get over having being raped and play nice with their rapist. Ugh… there, I did it, dropped into my usual ‘dozen’s’ with people who I am trying to iron a thought out with — NOT FIGHT.

How can we not be absolutely disgusted right now.   We are afraid.  Deep in our souls we are afraid that the world around us is disintegrating.  All of the scientific signs are aligned and they point to disasters.  The population is now spinning out of control.  Soon there will be too many rats in the cages.  Resources limited to the brazen and brutal.

Mankind looks at his own demise and does not have the heart to just kill off most of the planets humans and put the rest on birth control...  and some science says this is the only way.

Would you fall on your sword for your planet?   Could a religion of suicide sweep the planet?  I can barely let my mind ponder the hugeness of the question.  Feel like I did when I was a kid and thought about a nuclear war, what I would do...  and while I had a fantasy escape plan,  I really wanted to go out in the first wave.  Fuck dying slowly in the aftermath.

I cannot believe anyone thinks such thoughts... but they do.  And since they do, I must too... I have to immerse myself in what they do to open a dialog that starts with THIS IS THE CRISES that must be dealt with NOW, not when it is too late.  Many will be watching this world, discussing the ultimate solutions, preparing for the Praxis, the moment of no return...  they they should probably never let us reach.

What will we do, oh humans?  Someone else has decided that as long as they can live a comfortable life, they do not want to give it up if they do not have to...  and it is that simple with them, no matter how complex their relationship really is with the problem.   They must not be allowed to make the decision.  This is why I wrote from the start, that America needs a revolution from the bottom up.  Our politicians, even those with the largest hearts, cannot get done what needs to be done to fix an economy that is out-dated, basically unfair, and being controlled by psychopathic seeming stock traders and bankers  ( I am not naive enough to know they are not all psychopaths...  a lot of them work the system because 'the money was there.'  The later are more dangerous, because they think they are not at fault merely because they have rationalized that they are not at fault  --  this is why they must be stopped... and I mean stopped... from the illegal trading they are doing with their computers, which buy and sell just to push the price around and make money, and sometimes destroy the credibility of good businesses, just to make a profit from each other, commissions, etc...)

I wonder at this point in this dense essay if anyone is still reading....  some surely...  most, no.   I should not be surprised that I often throw people with my writing.  I am always a little dismayed when I hear from someone that they do not understand my writing... I consider that my fault mostly.   I want to be clear.  I do not want to make being clever get in between communicating the thought that drives 'whatever' prose I am writing at any given time.

More difficult to communicate with are those whom I just have no patience for, and probably have no patience for me, when it comes down to our politics.   I am pretty sure I know what I believe politically, but that does not always steer me through the politics of this country, because it operates quite differently than I think it should.  I see the hatred of each other out there, the demoization of the idea of socialization of a society, though we all cherish what little bit of socialized shit we have been able to squeeze out of our gov, like social security, unemployment, enviornmental protections, national parks, etc...   We value these things...  and they are vital.   Only  crazy ass fools think we should get rid of this shit.

We need laws.  There are criminals of every variance out there... in all walks of life.  The federal goverment does these things, or is supposed to.  Right now they are all about getting nothing done.  The two sides are basically boiling down to selfish bastards and Haters banding together to tell themselves they are right;   the cult of the party is complete, no matter what they do, THEIR LOYAL followers figured there was no other game in town, and if they refused to play...

Well, all the rationalizations that sell outs make as they climb through the slimy sewers of power...  the bowels of business stench reeks from them...  I have to pity them and offer them an alternative.  The politicians who go over into believing in a cut throat, back-ward way of taking humanity further and further down psycho paths where a few decide who is worthy to live and die...  they declare them 'non producers and do away with them....   I cannot stand any political viewpoint that does not start from the idea of equality.

And I mean real equality.  I do not believe a few should be rewarded for contributing whatever, while others, less capable  to function in the present system, must live in squalor.  There is a hell of a lot of money in this country.  Enough that the richest twelve or so could give 250K to every couple in the country.  Can you imagine how much better that would make everyones lives?  Is the pathetic largess of a few really worth continuing on our present path?   Are they really worth keeping all the rest of us in near poverty?  How quickly the people would rise up on that money.   New business would flourish, people would have money to start out with, to make more money off ot.  Gov. controls could make sure that some is invested for later, etc...   This could be done very easily in China, I suppose.  And other countries.   Well, not that easy, really.

Castro paid his entire life for kicking out the capitalists and saying he knew better.   He did know better, too.  Don't kid yourself.   He made the usual mistakes that someone who lives their entire life at war will make.  

How can we do this here????  The best way would be for these people to find the heart to understand why this is vital to the planet, our country, and fair...  Whether they believe they have a souls journey to consider, or a legacy that will make their names admired for the eons?   Who knows?   Maybe that kid of influx of money could be used to uplift the entire world.   I would think.  We would be suddenly consuming a lot of their goods.

There are only two ways for the USA to make these kind of drastic changes -- where they would use force, if necessary, to straighten out the mess that is the united states, and return to most of the ideals of the founding fathers, without ignoring that times change, knowledge grows, and this world has complex questions that this document was not meant to address  ( People change their constituions throughout time.  We have.  Other countries have thrown them out altogether.  i see nothing wrong with adding to the document... or limiting parts of it, as we have, when it comes to free press and our mild censorship here in the states (rightly so on issues like child porn, etc..).  One would be a cabal of military folk who just seize power through brute force, and the other would be an overwhelming push from the bottom.

The push from the bottom will of course be much more bloody than a coup.   The push from the bottom would be like the  worst of the French Revolution.   Blood taken, rich killed off in jealous rage by a beaten down masses with nothing left to lose.  Make enough people homeless and a savior with an AK-47 will rise.   A horror.   I could not imagine exactly how this would morph into a new government...  maybe it could.  Maybe the press would come in and follow the doing of the peoples heroes... but in the states, we do not agree enough to do this, either.   The right and left illusion that traps most people into thinking they are winning and losing along with their politicians...

You would need a majority to agree on this fundamental change...  

We are trying to Iron Out our Differences and reach Common Ground. This is what we hear. The problem is, a rapist will not be reasoned with… (whoops, did it again).

And then… I absolutly agree with you. I am almost invariable polite and agreeable, and down right friendly in real life. I drove cab for fifteen years and if I know anything, it is how to say hi to people in a way that they find warm, and respond in kind. I live in Chicago, in East Roger’s Park, and walk a siberien Husky who looks like a wolf, and scares like one. So I have to explain to everyone that she is a nice dog, to be polite. We exchange chit-chat or hellos. Makes the neighborhood friendlier. I call it social karma in expansive moods… The point is that we hate to each others enemies. Much better to make a friend. However, one of the primary way two humans bond, is to find a common enemy. We want people with the same ethics, who fear and like what we do, so this easy…

This is hardly the best way for humans to bond, just a left-over from football where they wanted to destroy the other team, or a salesman fighting for territory… etc. Everyone wants to think they are some kind of warrior in an epic battle, or at least a temporary, fleeting battle that has clear cut winners and losers.

I would like to know how to get beyond this… but I find that there is no way there when I seek out the common ground.. and if they will not meet me half way, I must take it.

Poem From A Commercial ...847 Dickies

DEBTS WILL BE PAID

BLOOD WILL BE SPILLED

A FATE WILL BE SEALED

A SON WILL BE CROWNED

It was much easier in my life when i knew everything I saw was directed toward me...  Now, everything in the media is ambiguous, there or not there....  My old thinking that all  is chance is coming back.

I am ready to take the earthly throne.  I am now convinced that the people had to have a taste of political hope, and see the political actions of the states melt into a morass of corporate money, before this project could continue.

Obama tried to run on small contributions, and came through for awhile, so the changed the law so that corporations could spend as much money as the want, anonymously, on campaigns.

Democracy is over here.   Gone.  The only problem I have is what will I leave behind, if this world lasts longer than me?   I trust no one to have this much power.  So I was thinking I should rule for fifteen years... during this time, I will first fix the worlds various problems, then return everyone to home rule, with a few over all laws in place.  We will dismantle the nukes, and socialize a few key global industries, oil, electricit, coal, etc... the companies will barely change in day to day operations, but the profits will go to the many, to fix the earth, rather than the .01 percent that gets more bucks than the 120 million at the bottom.  

If you have this in place, and are ready  to go, let's do this...  I refused before, and if that was real or not, that surely does not mean that the offer is still in place... but I always come back to, why would I still be alive if they do not have further plans for me?  Do they believe what I have written about taking my life is going to cost them?  Do they know it will?  

Are you ready to rise up?  Do you have a real chance at victory?   You know they keep me in the dark.

As I write this the Dylan song comes on with the lyrics,   "He calls you, you can't refuse,"
The Peter Gabrials Big Time....    "I'll be a big noise, with all the big boys."

Since I am beyond caring what people think of this site, I am just writing the truth with speculation.  The truth is the station I listen to used to listen to me, and comment on my activities, back in 07/08 when they were fucking with my mind.   I remember a couple instances, one where I cranked the stereo louder than I ever had and the DJ talked about it, another where the kept trying to get me to smash something...  which I finally did, just a few coffee cups.   I am not a smasher.

So what is happening?  I am reading how Obama is going to india with 4 war ships, the top 200 in industry, and like 800 other people or some ridiculous amount.. the paranoid among us are worried that something horrid is about to happen here.

I long ago stopped fantasizing about the powers that be allowing me leave this cave and be a public persona.  Out in the open, at least.

More than likely nothing will ever happen to me... beyond what has.  I have certainly caused a lot of trouble, but I was being attacked.  Let me rule again, and you will see this world straighten up its act.   I suspect that there are behind the scenes rulers now... maybe not.

I write this and Bonnie Raitt's song comes on, saying, "It's over, I know, but I can't let go."

That is how I really feel.  I obsess about all this, though it has stopped, pretty much.  All I notice is that certain people still seem to be bugging me, and occasionally there is the odd media reference to my activities, which I suspect they try to slip in....

I am a good person, with the interests of all at heart.  I do not care what kind of politics you spew.... thinking you have a solution, right or wrong, and trying to instigate that solution is noble... foolish maybe, stupid maybe... but who knows?  I like people who try, not give up...  I talk and write like I have a great hate for my enemies, but that is passing.  I have been trying to pray it away.    I will rule for all, not one... though I doubt this is going to happen, so do not get your hopes up.

Let us now work together for the good of all, and write off no one.   I read Greenspan recently saying that people are parasites if they do not chain themselves to the corporate life.   I have always been sickened by this attitude.  People deserve to live how they want... yes, we should all contribute, but if that means working 60=70 hours a week, that means you have no time to think or live and that is hardly a life.  I lived it for years, with the addition of going to school on top of it, because I had a goal... I never thought there was anything noble about working too much, and if I had not known it was temporary, I would never have went down that path...

Anyways, here are a few more worthless words, more than likely....

If I Refuse To Rule This Earth... Who Will?

I was convinced by my own need to believe that people are good, and can rule themselves.  I was wrong to give away the rule of this world.

From the outside, I am sure it looked like absolute power corrupts absolutley.  Well, I think something else altogether would have happened if they were not attacking me like a baited bear....  that was my experience.  I needed to among advisors and others, so they kept me isolated.  Sure, I said keep my isolated, etc... when i thought it was meaningless to say so because I was already isolated....  I tried to let my tale consume and excrete whatever they threw at me...  using my fiction writers brain to change the story at will, add new twists and turns.

The pope later talked about coming to Christ through fiction, which I guess was either a reference to me or a reference to harry potter, or both... no matter what he thought he meant.

I remember so well when this started, how I was filled with an immense love for everyone, and wanted to befriend the entire world... then, it seemed to me, I was rejected.   I know that most was kept hidden from me...  still, this is how it seemed to me.

I used to be surprised that people could not see how I was being fucked with.  The media folk I thought I was working with seemed to back me up, were always talking about what I did...  yet no one was actually helping me out, taking me from the cell of actors and agents who make up my neighborhood.   I know why they moved everyone out... so many old faces gone.  So many new ones.   It was like an exodus in 2007..  I would hear someone on tv saying DONT you notice, like the period when people made a phone call whenever I went into a shop.   I am never sure why they  did these things.  Were they trying to show me that I was being followed and filmed?   I had no fucking idea.  I could see everything that was happening, but I never felt in control enough to really do anything.


I certainly would have done things differently knowing what I know now...  maybe.  I guess as I remember it, I have to acknowledge that the people behind what happened to me, must be very different than me, since they hide their faces.   I figured if they have to hide from me, they cannot be on my side.

I guess there is a danger out there to whoever tries to help me.  And why should you?   I will go down in the secret history as a villian who helped out his masters enough to live.

The other side of this is project blue beam, which talks about using a christ figure to dupe the world.  This may be what has happened  to me.  I may be nothing more than a dream inserted in a writers mind.  Perhaps every word I have written in here means nothing more than the demise of my soul...

God I kept asking you to show me signs, all of my life... and when you finally did, I learn that humans could have inserted everyting into my mind that I thought was you.

I cannot start over...  can't undo what was done in my name.  I can tell you honestly only one thing --- this was not me doing these things, but a beaten and drugged prisoner, a baited bear as I have said.  Under the circumstances, you are lucky I did not just tell all my folks to burn down this entire fucking world.   I kept enough of my ethics to hate the death.

I am sorry folks, that I cannot be what you want me to be.   I will not abandon those who still know about all this, who probably crave, as i do, some honest words on this topic.  This blog must be like fresh water to the dying of thirst for some.

I am not saying that I am hanging up my halo... it is just that from the very beginning of all this, I have been very afraid of offending God.   I know that sounds laughable to a fundamentalist, but I prayed long and hard and tortured that if God was not behind what was happening to me, that He would stop it.   I turned against the churches, as much as I did, because I had to trust that if I am this thing, then its perceptions are such for a reason.

I believe that the life of the Christ would be carefully designed by God, watched over by Angels, worried over by demons.  When I looked at my past, it was rather amazing just how well I was prepared to do what I did...  if men chose me to play that role, they deserve a round of applause.  I can see how my metaphor could seem strong to people who do not know me.... in real life I am as much of an idiot as anyone, though a bit kinder than most humans...  though kinder people than me exist.

I am not in my usual writing mood today.  We just had an election here.  They remind me of all the shit I went through with Obama's election...  and praying that would mean an end of the isolation imposed on john scott ridgway.  That did not happen, and ever since...  well, I have gone back and forth on politics.   Now, the republicans have gained more control, after the dem's couldn't get anything done before.  Our system is fucked.  The rep s stopped over 100 dem initiatives with filibusters in the last two years... now they can just vote everything down.