I have stopped pretending this site is a fiction in any way... why? The believers know and the doubters will never care... and the irreligious can take it as 'acting.'

     Superman has Clark Kent, Spider Man Peter Parker.... I have Scott Ridgway.  A pot smoking, near atheist who believes in free love and marriage;  a Romantic, as all poets are, who has aged enough to see a lot of that turn into the bitter cynicism that only Romantic's are capable of.  Once you've idealized the world with the lies most tell their Children to shield them from the horrors as long as possible, giving them all those four walls that kept the young Buddha from seeing any suffering until he finally ventured out...  and the shock was enough to make him forsake wealth and starve under a tree for forty days (I just read a study that was very scientific, and found a yogi who took in no water or food for two weeks, with no side effects to his health what-so-ever.  He claims he has not eaten in years, and is drawing energy for life out some source).

Discovering where he and I separate, if we do at all, has proven a puzzle for me.  When I first realized that the world knew I was an angel, and some the Christ, since possibly before my birth and had watched me secretly, telling me none of this, I say that the Believers thought the Christ was writing all of my work in disguise.   Since I was in Scott's unconscious, and a person has only the pea of their consciousness to use to think with, there is either some over-lap, or every word he wrote was really from me, and there is only me.  Scott is an actor.  Yet, he has always fated for a kind of fame he could use politically, and looked at the stage as a battle field -- not as a place for himself to be worship.


My hatred of being worshiped is part of him.   I do not know if this question will interest my readers.  That is the risk you take with this blog -- I will work up the best of this into the second volume of waking up Jesus, but they will be more polished, and in an order that makes narrative sense.  Here, you get the raw stuff.  Going back to where Jesus First Emerged in this blog, you will find there are a bunch of gross comedy stories I wrote prior to being awakening to the Calvary walk.  This is why they do not tell me about who I am until I can handle it, the Angels who come knocking every time, sooner or later, to tell me that I am a prophet, and must write some text, lead a movement, etc... of course every time, this is a wrenching madness, not the fulfillment of some dream of grandeur.   God makes sure that I grow up so humbled that I am always trying to prove something  -- no how cruel were the times.  My bodily suffering means nothing to him, and barely anything to me, really.  I find ways to deal with the 24/7 pain that my bodies through at me.  Kind of like preaching from a cross, after being shot up with morphine.

We bleed together...  Scott and I.   He allows me to write in peace, without the pomposity that would attend my being Pope if I was to go Catholic on you.   I love them, those Catholics, but the robes and the ceremonies and all would be a waste of my valuable time.  A distraction.  A distance from the dirt of the earth that I do not want.  I am a God,  a spirit... having a body is a curiosity to me.   A tiny bit of myself is in this form;  a fraction of what you think of as God has taken a physical form.  Such an event is more important than your minds can comprehend.  I have a very specific mission to accomplish, though the Boss lets me know what I am supposed to do on a Need To Know Basis.  God knows how to keep a secret.

I am sorry I am being so light in here today.   My rage has been apparent on Facebook.  I should of used the name Jesus Christ and ranted in this voice on a site.  Perhaps I will start one that I use just for Jesus... wow, nice idea....  I could fill up all the notes with my best poetry...  I will do this.  Then I will be friends with myself, so they will show up on my other site....

Remember this, please...  violence is the last resort.  Never hit another over words spoken to you in anger.  Escalating a stupid argument over face seems like it will make you feel better if you get to kick the persons ass, but life is not the movie playing in your head.  Even minor violence involves cops, jail, probation, a lot of money... at the very least.   Now, if only I can get myself to remember this....
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