Prison Journals

I am Buddha in his garden

with just enough beggars getting in to let me know there is a world outside my royal walls

Been out there driving through the chronic night in a cab

barely able to believe the beauty  could have any shadow at all

surprised every time by the knives and the guns and the assholes and the drunks

shaken awake

I am finding it very hard to take what I am doing seriously

I feel like I have tried and failed

That no matter how hard I fight I was born defeated and will die defeated

strange notions from a mind that contains an Omnipotent one

I can never go back

I can never start over

I can never pretend this has not happened to me

I can not deny God

I am tired of the choking Hatreds of a God

The searing Love as I watch all I was born into disappear before my eyes

The anonymity of my flesh used to frustrate me

wanted to be somebody

man do you ever have to watch what you wish for

I spent my life making fun of people with this malady

know i have read of this happening to other critics' of the intelligence agencies

an M-16 went rogue and surfaced with a sex change 

claiming he was Jesus and weed would save the world

Always knew the intelligence agencies were way into brain washing

had no idea of just how deep they used the evilness 

Why kill someone when you can destroy their credibility with a few psych drugs?

The stuff they put me on stole my mind and opened me to the Jesus persobality

made normal functioning impossible/my rages uncontrollable

my ability to distinguish fact from fiction diminished by the mystical

they may have used me for some sort of coup

perhaps they thought they would make Jesus King and everyone would 

accept it was time for the final battle

Armageddon

You were ready

I was ready

I had no idea what was possible

No idea of all the people ready to rise up around me

No idea....  I resent you the most for keeping all of this from me

your lack of trust is unwarranted

I want peace universal/no enemies at all

to find a way for all good humyns to get rid of their guns and live in peace

today in the states I hear they are going to cut the small entitlements we are given

the barely there health care/the inadequate social security that sentences the elderly to poverty.

The Class Warriors need to find peace

There is way too much money in a few hands for millions to be driven into poverty

We are richer than we admit as a nation

and we are a nation

rich and poor

I want the rich to look at their money

as a receivership for the wealth of God

this is the only way money can bring true peace

our days on this earth are going to get harder and harder as the end nears

the population is now growing too fast for the planet to survive our waste products

144 thousand are supposed to be saved

in my visions they took these people alive

This was the first time I had known aliens to care about human flesh

they were more interested in our souls/the butterfly free of the cocoon 

Now I seldom think of what will happen in the future

I concentrate on the now

push for justice in my way

hoping the will lead to that mythical thing.....peace

The Concept Of Childhood Dissolves... in acid or in age/rape or college

I do not post a lot about Child Molestation in the various Churches because I want to offend, or destroy any of them.... Like in the past, the Catholic Church has reformed, and they are doing so now. They are, after all, the tip of an iceberg. Child sexual exploitation is rampant, with 300k counted as slaves being pimped here in the states last year. All religions will find pedophiles attracted to situations that give them a position of authority, or access to, children. If we skip back in time just a few hundred years, children were used for sex all the time, and 'childhood' as we know it existed only in a weak form, for the most privileged few (who were still often brutalized by our standards).






The Romantics put forth a lot of ideas about children, calling them special beings, and defining them as different than adults. Our western laws now reflect this. I fight the lack of childhood where ever I see it, because this is a cultural phenomena that goes away. And now, in this very, very complex world we live within, is too much for millions of adults, let alone children with limited real life experience.






In other countries, our child labor laws are not there at all... youngsters with tiny, nimble fingers live chained to looms until they grow too old... their hands are crippled forever by the experience, usually.