Of course, I have mixed feelings about easter. This weekend started out pretty bad for me...

and sure, I was resurrected on Sunday... and I took full advantage of being back in Spirit, quite a relief, especially after the beatings, the cross walk... hanging there,  feeling like if I could change things I would, half glad that God was in charge of what happens, half pissed at him for what was happening.  I expected the skies to open up, and they did, once I was dead...  countless Angels welcomed me back to Heaven, sang songs of joy, even as the souls informed me of what had transpired in he Heavens during my absence, the progress in the war against Satan for the hearts and minds.  We hated him the most for the terrible lies he fomented about owning some Hell.  I use hell as a metaphor for destroying the idea of Satan altogether.  Mankind has to move beyond such dualities, realize you live in a gray mist, that is NEVER black and white.  I think hell never existed.  In the most intense moments of my revelations, I seem to know that I would never allow a Hell, and though I had myself threatened of Hell in some of the most inspired, Jesus speaking moments of my existence, I think it was all more or less just speaking to Christians in a language that they understood.  No just God would allow a hell.  Your bodies are one thing..  to project such pain into the spiritual realm is absurd.   I saw myself welcoming every soul that died personally, assuring those whose lives seemed to have sins beyond forgiveness, that there was no hell, that they were only as wicked as the earth they were on, born innocent and destroyed by systematic repression, and disease.  Criminals are seldom born.  A few represent the psychopaths among us.  We do not jail or hospitalize people for this disease until we find out just what they did... which is not often easy.  Living legally as a psychopath works for a lot of people, and is even rewarded highly in corporate life.


I come upon this Easter saddened by what has happened with the Catholic Church.  They are close to my heart.  So many great souls I have met worked in Catholic Charities, and I have the greatest memories of the priest who oversaw our scout troop, who was able to show a genuine interest in kids, without ever being considered a pedophile.  I was amazed the minister at their church was so cool, and it made me want to become Catholic.  That and the fact that I was in a Catholic Scout Troop, and liked the kids a lot better than the secular one I had attended.  They were more thoughtful.  A few were well read.   Good kids.   Some were ultra religious, but we had fun.  For awhile a drunken, pot smoking young guy was our scout master.  Let us drive his car, gave us a stash of BB guns the priest had from running a boys summer camp and our first beers and launched us on an attack on another group of scouts.   We always played harmless pranks on each other at the big jamboree.... but it was something else being snipers, and clearing out enemy camps in seconds.  It was harmless.  No eyes put up,  A few yelps and they abandoned camp but it was funnier than hell.  We had all been attacked before, too, mind you...   nothing like having the best weaponry.

I do not think the Pope needs to resign over this matter.  He just needs to open everything up, they need to set new guidelines, pay everyone they have harmed, and become a reformed institution.   I hate to think no one will get the kind of attention the priest I knew gave kids.  That would be a travesty.  A loss that the Catholic Church knows would be a severe blow to passing the best of their culture unto the future.

Anything that is bad for the Catholic Church like this has to be dealt with harshly.  A purge.  But they can ill afford that with no one signing up, hardly.   I think they once married, and they should marry again.  Family men know a bit about how to raise kids, have actual experience with problems with spouses that they can admit;  experience is the greatest teacher, sad to say.   They made the celibacy rule to stop excess.  Now, it looks like they have to change it.  The priesthood should not be the sanctuary for people who cannot live normally, like gay men.  Brotherhoods I know have are the same way.  They provide a way to avoid questios about marriage, basically.   Some of these guys are great priests, but they would be much better, if they could come out.

So, I think marriage might have a shot.  Openly gay priests, well they might as well convert to a more open minded religion, that is not so obsessed with human sperm in the first place.  Unitarians always seemed about right to me.  Should I ever feel the need for a church, actually, I have no idea.... more than likely, I would do what I used to do in Toledo, and attend a black church.    I like the music, and find the people go out of their way to be kind.  I loved the ones in Toledo.  That is a particularly racist city, so it was reassuring for some of them to know that normal people who were beyond racism indeed existed.   Most places they would take it for granted, but not there....  sadly I heard this same hate in Chicago, among some.   Even among the so called elite.   I took refuge with the philosophy and literary bunch, but in the latter I would hear unacceptible comments about blacks,or just a tone of dismissal.  The guy I am thinking taught writing, as his parents had done at the same institution, and he was writing one of the coming of age books that convinced me never to write one (a pledge I am breaking only because I found out I am Jesus, and have later learned that what I have said and done throughout my life gives me clues to the Jesus who was inside of me all that time...  though I only noticed, as you know if you are reading the book though might not if these words first splash on your brain in a blog, the deity when the appointed time came, at 44.

Why not 32 they all must have wondered.  When I woke up they talked about how I was like the turtle whose patience won the race.  I had no idea what they meant, until I realized so many knew about me.  Humans could not keep the secret of having an Angel, who was possibly the Christ, living a secret existence in the middle east.... hidden even from himself.    They expected wild things the year I turned 32... nothing happened.  I was still going to school.   Forever taking on another major that I seemed to need to complete the picture of some mental character who I wanted to be, a guy who knew about all these subjects and wrote books filled with deeper meanings -- no car chases for me.

I want to over my hope and prayer that the Catholic Church will make it through this horrible, institutionalized rape situation under total control.  I hope and pray that those who brought suffering on children receive suffering in return, so the children know there is justice in this world not just for others, but for them as well.   I hope and pray that this distraction from the true message of the Catholic Church does not harm what is beautiful about the church, or effect those who have gone there seeking the way of God.  I hope and pray that Catholics will continue their trend to think for themselves, especially after this scandal.  They must understand that the pope is locked into certain positions, but that does not mean they are.  From condoms to abortions.  I hate abortions... but I cannot deny another's choice on this.  Women have fought hard for this, and I respect that I must allow them the control over their own body.   What they do with their life.  When I read that crime drops in areas with abortions, I saw all those young people raised badly, ending up in prison, bitter and acting out over their lack of parenting/or their parenting;   the same parents who decided it was not a good idea for them at the time to have a baby.   I think having a baby and putting it up for adoption is cool, but again, this is not my body that is taking all those risks, going through that pain, living wondering what happened to the child, etc.   I do not want to be dogmatic.  Another Irony coming from Jesus..

Obama wrote that this Easter we should acknowledge our universal selves as members of the human family.  I think in these terms too.   I feel as much for other people as I do americans.  Of course my sympathies have no nationalism at all.  I praise things american because I am in america and there is a lot to praise. I wish that we could be what we dream of, a people with an army ready to fight to help others get their freedom, and at times we have been just that, for sure.  Our army helped save the world from tyranny once before, and we are now one of few countries on the world who could do that.  The Chinese are fairly isolationist, and have shown no fears of dealing with dictators to push their own agendas.  Worse than America, obviously, as we have seen in their support for countries who have basically declared us their enemy.  China has done a lot of good, mind you....  they give more financial support to South America than we do.  Put that in your capitalist pipe and smoke it next time you calculate trends toward the left in the modern world.

I write a few words for the humans
toss my easter poetry in the word barrel
never knowing if they will be buried or someone will pull them out and read them

ha...  except for those of you who know.... those great teeming masses... who know.  A couple years ago Rev. Jackson ended his Operation Push a couple years ago saying, "He is alive.  Can't you feel him.  Right here?"   I have written many times that you can find the Holy Ghost inside of you, and that I communicate directly with the soul inside of you, mostly, bypassing the inanity of your human beliefs.    He then went on to end the broadcast with, "He's alive!  He's alive!!  he's alive!!!"