Born To Die

who is here now
who has not seen packs of wolves in suits taking down the weak and old and easy?

who is here now
who has not wondered if Justice is even part of the package?

wondering
we will spend our days
staring into the material maze
astounded and disgusted and dismayed
warriors straggling in after a crushing defeat has shattered their army

trying to pick up the jagged pieces
left when Reagan shattered the Unions
stir the revolt in the soul
give a sort of x-ray vision to the masses
the superpower of being able to see right through bullshit.


After the show
I lift up the curtain
show the children there is a ventriloquist
behind the political puppets
reassure them that none of this is real
that they should know fiction from fact

words flow like a tidal wave
taking and consuming
and becoming
everything in their path

my faith in the Father is the rock on which I build my house
He showed me his face again
His way of announcing himself
gave me the dream the same night as another that came true
as if to assure me that Yes, the Father has come to awaken the Son.

i stay alone in my mind for the most part
attempting to find a way to live on despite what I believe
not because of .... as it seems like I did once
 a trick that happened to me as I grew older
the hard one to face
drives a lot of people to pop too many pills and just leave
soldiers to lose it when they get home

I want to be the sun breaking through the dead gray sky of every winter day

I want to be the caress you have longed for

The man of your dreams


the lost one who comes home and is recognized as family

the one you have been told to wait for
the one they told you would come

in this modern age
of course I became like property to my protectors
I forgive the ones
who laughed at my forgiveness and took advantage of my mercy
as I try not to allow my anger
 to entice me
to enjoy
 my vengeful Father's wrath
I have no control on the plagues that my Father causes
I have no control over his method of creating souls
I have no control over you and you have limited control over me
His wrath is greater than my Grace

Spring breaks out green and wholesome on the  banks of Lake Michigan

I see the future burning this present down
bringing mankind finally humbled to his knees

I am living in one of the last calm villages in a world filled with plagues
plagues of poverty and imperialism and fascists and slavery and starvation
surround the planet
linger on in pockets even of the city where I live

I want to follow along with my orders
live pretty much on the autopilot from my childhood
a liberal democrat coloring within the lines
even as inside I began to see politics as a big scam
or even worse... a lost war
between haves and have not's
won by sleepy looking security guards who watched their enemies lay down their arms
sit in front of their tv's and shut the fuck up


Am I sent as a judgement, Lord?
I ask the silent night sky


there are flames in my eyes
a volcano waiting to explode from my chest
lightening building a wall of sheer white destruction around me...

I bring revolution/turmoil
a general leading a bloody  army of Angels, Demons and The Dead


in my hand is the fire from the Heavens

that burns away the dead wood you have carved into unholy icons

I AM the pope

What reason have I for a pope while I walk in flesh?   I wrote in the first scriptures, 'we will not forgive you for raping our children while we fought your wars.'

This Christ is a soldier first.  Mostly, in the ancient world, the bright and lucky and noble ended up being the Generals De Facto.  In my bloodline, where I spent a few lives, among them the one who has come to you as the storied Arthur and Merlin.  I was both of them.  Why would such a thing seem beyond me?  My line of kings was known for dying with their troops, rather than staying back in the tents where the Royalty picnicked and watched the panorama.  Of course I fear no death of the finite as fact.

I see occasionally His workings here.  Of course I am timed to come during a crises in the Church, when a new pope is needed.   A man.  One who none can doubt is in touch with His Holy Father.  The trued conduit.  The scout sent out to find the lost souls has returned.  No more mystic words for the Pope from God.  He lost all connection with Holy Father when he hid that children were being RAPED.

I am the son of a wrathful father.  My mercy nothing in the face of his rages.   I am a child being raised by a soldier on the run, a guerrilla warrior fighting on all fronts at once...  I do not understand the killing, cannot accept that those who die are my enemy.   My father is mighty enough to delight in the soft heart of his son.
Like I have told you, as nature has told you, as every different personality you have met, cat or horse --- God  Loves Diversity.   He wishes to give mankind as many ways to explore his flesh and soul as possible.  He delights in the love of his children.

In his way he understands everything except the moment, I think sometimes.  He feels only Love for his creations, even his wrath at one is driven by his great love for another. . .   and as temporary as a summer shower.   There are things he will not tolerate.  He asks of you only two simple things.  One is to love God,  the other is to love your neighbor as yourself.  The love of God is a broad matter, that can be found in any religion, and even atheistic pursuits;   living ethically is loving God;  loving your neighbor is loving God.

They have made religion too restrictive, we all know this.  If these two divine dictates are practiced, all war will cease, and justice will reign on this planet.   Very simple ideas.  Too impractical?   Hardly.  The population explosion is giving me visions of horrors to come.   Someone is going to release another disease, maybe... the elite will try not to allow their standard of living to drop with the rest of the world.  Desperate and deadly, they will try anything when they start to hear of the banker down the street getting crucified by a crowd who lost their houses.

You know the only way to change this situation is to stop spreading lies about reproduction.  A condom is hardly going to stop the plans God has for this earth.  In another time, when children were needed for the farms, your holy men told you differently.  Now I tell you China is almost right on this matter.  Almost.    We must make this an ethical rule, however, not a law.   Breed in small numbers.  Already the educated know this, and of course this is part of why there are prediction evolutionarily mankind is getting dummer.

I came in here to write more about the pope.   They have found his direct connection to child rape now, hiding priests.   I here-by relinquish him of all powers.  Forgiveness is between him and my Father.  I have no mercy for those who rape or hide rapists.   They do not realize how they are raping a soul, too..  they are raping God at his most innocent.

The idea of Childhood is relatively new among humans.  It is a trend that I would like to see protected.  They need a few years of learning and innocence before having to deal with a world more complex than any can understand, though many pretend to.

The time has also come to stop the middle east wars.  We are now merely inciting the middle east.  We have done what we could.   By announcing a pull out now, we could regain good will, stop Taliban recruitment (some would just go home).   A cease fire is a good place to start.  Then go in and have the meetings with the tribal leaders and pay them what  they need to get a fresh start....

Leave behind enough money to let them switch from opium to pot, then legalize it here, and they will have an excellent, legal cash crop.   No more money for the Taliban.

Of course, I have mixed feelings about easter. This weekend started out pretty bad for me...

and sure, I was resurrected on Sunday... and I took full advantage of being back in Spirit, quite a relief, especially after the beatings, the cross walk... hanging there,  feeling like if I could change things I would, half glad that God was in charge of what happens, half pissed at him for what was happening.  I expected the skies to open up, and they did, once I was dead...  countless Angels welcomed me back to Heaven, sang songs of joy, even as the souls informed me of what had transpired in he Heavens during my absence, the progress in the war against Satan for the hearts and minds.  We hated him the most for the terrible lies he fomented about owning some Hell.  I use hell as a metaphor for destroying the idea of Satan altogether.  Mankind has to move beyond such dualities, realize you live in a gray mist, that is NEVER black and white.  I think hell never existed.  In the most intense moments of my revelations, I seem to know that I would never allow a Hell, and though I had myself threatened of Hell in some of the most inspired, Jesus speaking moments of my existence, I think it was all more or less just speaking to Christians in a language that they understood.  No just God would allow a hell.  Your bodies are one thing..  to project such pain into the spiritual realm is absurd.   I saw myself welcoming every soul that died personally, assuring those whose lives seemed to have sins beyond forgiveness, that there was no hell, that they were only as wicked as the earth they were on, born innocent and destroyed by systematic repression, and disease.  Criminals are seldom born.  A few represent the psychopaths among us.  We do not jail or hospitalize people for this disease until we find out just what they did... which is not often easy.  Living legally as a psychopath works for a lot of people, and is even rewarded highly in corporate life.


I come upon this Easter saddened by what has happened with the Catholic Church.  They are close to my heart.  So many great souls I have met worked in Catholic Charities, and I have the greatest memories of the priest who oversaw our scout troop, who was able to show a genuine interest in kids, without ever being considered a pedophile.  I was amazed the minister at their church was so cool, and it made me want to become Catholic.  That and the fact that I was in a Catholic Scout Troop, and liked the kids a lot better than the secular one I had attended.  They were more thoughtful.  A few were well read.   Good kids.   Some were ultra religious, but we had fun.  For awhile a drunken, pot smoking young guy was our scout master.  Let us drive his car, gave us a stash of BB guns the priest had from running a boys summer camp and our first beers and launched us on an attack on another group of scouts.   We always played harmless pranks on each other at the big jamboree.... but it was something else being snipers, and clearing out enemy camps in seconds.  It was harmless.  No eyes put up,  A few yelps and they abandoned camp but it was funnier than hell.  We had all been attacked before, too, mind you...   nothing like having the best weaponry.

I do not think the Pope needs to resign over this matter.  He just needs to open everything up, they need to set new guidelines, pay everyone they have harmed, and become a reformed institution.   I hate to think no one will get the kind of attention the priest I knew gave kids.  That would be a travesty.  A loss that the Catholic Church knows would be a severe blow to passing the best of their culture unto the future.

Anything that is bad for the Catholic Church like this has to be dealt with harshly.  A purge.  But they can ill afford that with no one signing up, hardly.   I think they once married, and they should marry again.  Family men know a bit about how to raise kids, have actual experience with problems with spouses that they can admit;  experience is the greatest teacher, sad to say.   They made the celibacy rule to stop excess.  Now, it looks like they have to change it.  The priesthood should not be the sanctuary for people who cannot live normally, like gay men.  Brotherhoods I know have are the same way.  They provide a way to avoid questios about marriage, basically.   Some of these guys are great priests, but they would be much better, if they could come out.

So, I think marriage might have a shot.  Openly gay priests, well they might as well convert to a more open minded religion, that is not so obsessed with human sperm in the first place.  Unitarians always seemed about right to me.  Should I ever feel the need for a church, actually, I have no idea.... more than likely, I would do what I used to do in Toledo, and attend a black church.    I like the music, and find the people go out of their way to be kind.  I loved the ones in Toledo.  That is a particularly racist city, so it was reassuring for some of them to know that normal people who were beyond racism indeed existed.   Most places they would take it for granted, but not there....  sadly I heard this same hate in Chicago, among some.   Even among the so called elite.   I took refuge with the philosophy and literary bunch, but in the latter I would hear unacceptible comments about blacks,or just a tone of dismissal.  The guy I am thinking taught writing, as his parents had done at the same institution, and he was writing one of the coming of age books that convinced me never to write one (a pledge I am breaking only because I found out I am Jesus, and have later learned that what I have said and done throughout my life gives me clues to the Jesus who was inside of me all that time...  though I only noticed, as you know if you are reading the book though might not if these words first splash on your brain in a blog, the deity when the appointed time came, at 44.

Why not 32 they all must have wondered.  When I woke up they talked about how I was like the turtle whose patience won the race.  I had no idea what they meant, until I realized so many knew about me.  Humans could not keep the secret of having an Angel, who was possibly the Christ, living a secret existence in the middle east.... hidden even from himself.    They expected wild things the year I turned 32... nothing happened.  I was still going to school.   Forever taking on another major that I seemed to need to complete the picture of some mental character who I wanted to be, a guy who knew about all these subjects and wrote books filled with deeper meanings -- no car chases for me.

I want to over my hope and prayer that the Catholic Church will make it through this horrible, institutionalized rape situation under total control.  I hope and pray that those who brought suffering on children receive suffering in return, so the children know there is justice in this world not just for others, but for them as well.   I hope and pray that this distraction from the true message of the Catholic Church does not harm what is beautiful about the church, or effect those who have gone there seeking the way of God.  I hope and pray that Catholics will continue their trend to think for themselves, especially after this scandal.  They must understand that the pope is locked into certain positions, but that does not mean they are.  From condoms to abortions.  I hate abortions... but I cannot deny another's choice on this.  Women have fought hard for this, and I respect that I must allow them the control over their own body.   What they do with their life.  When I read that crime drops in areas with abortions, I saw all those young people raised badly, ending up in prison, bitter and acting out over their lack of parenting/or their parenting;   the same parents who decided it was not a good idea for them at the time to have a baby.   I think having a baby and putting it up for adoption is cool, but again, this is not my body that is taking all those risks, going through that pain, living wondering what happened to the child, etc.   I do not want to be dogmatic.  Another Irony coming from Jesus..

Obama wrote that this Easter we should acknowledge our universal selves as members of the human family.  I think in these terms too.   I feel as much for other people as I do americans.  Of course my sympathies have no nationalism at all.  I praise things american because I am in america and there is a lot to praise. I wish that we could be what we dream of, a people with an army ready to fight to help others get their freedom, and at times we have been just that, for sure.  Our army helped save the world from tyranny once before, and we are now one of few countries on the world who could do that.  The Chinese are fairly isolationist, and have shown no fears of dealing with dictators to push their own agendas.  Worse than America, obviously, as we have seen in their support for countries who have basically declared us their enemy.  China has done a lot of good, mind you....  they give more financial support to South America than we do.  Put that in your capitalist pipe and smoke it next time you calculate trends toward the left in the modern world.

I write a few words for the humans
toss my easter poetry in the word barrel
never knowing if they will be buried or someone will pull them out and read them

ha...  except for those of you who know.... those great teeming masses... who know.  A couple years ago Rev. Jackson ended his Operation Push a couple years ago saying, "He is alive.  Can't you feel him.  Right here?"   I have written many times that you can find the Holy Ghost inside of you, and that I communicate directly with the soul inside of you, mostly, bypassing the inanity of your human beliefs.    He then went on to end the broadcast with, "He's alive!  He's alive!!  he's alive!!!"