The State Of The World Address

I found an interesting voice inside of myself today. Came up so many new ones do as I wrote. A voice that has transcended identifying my present state of being as divine. For a few pure seconds in the sunshine of a July day I felt a burst of what it would feel like if none of this had ever happened and I could shake the world off like water on a duck and just be a stoned, crazy writer passing his time in a world he didn't necessarily love, but could ultimatly do nothing at all about. I was disconnected from any heirarchy, no longer encumbered by the belief that it actually matters what I say. Just being silly all the time, self-effacing, seeing myself and others as relatively harmless, though foolish, beings.

There were no memories telling me that a battle has taken place, that I am a prisoner of a vague war with some factions of governmet, though ultimatly protected by others. For a moment... I was back before any of this happened, to a time when happiness itself did not seem so inapropriate in my life. Before I had to begin grieving. Before I knew how I was seen. Before I knew how I was being used. Before I knew that man is so fucking devious and spiteful.

Once I would have called all this supersticion. I miss that, too.

Self pity is not pretty. I don't mean to come into this room of words and bemoan my fate. I mean, I do this, but my frustration has to come out somewhere. Better here than in my real life.

I keep remembering a recent simpsons episode, where Maggie was some savior, and how her universal love reminded me of how I felt when this started, and then they had bart take her place on the throne and the church became satanic. Fire spewed out thru cracks in the earth.

Bad Boys too, those simpsons folk. Anyways... I saw a strong parellel, big surprise. I wonder when I see these things if they are messages to a lot of people about me? I know that under my flag a lot of protests have started. I owe anyone who writes about this stuff my thanks, of course. Even when they are criticizing me. I learn some from criticism, if i do sometimes react like an immature ass.

Such a complex world we live in.

once more, let me say, let me go... or there will be hell to pay

You will find my comedy toward the back of my blog http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com, or http://thereligiouspsychokillersshitlist.blogspot.com

Google John Scott Ridgway for other works.