god speaks

GOD SPEAKS IN DREAMS


You are truly alone
When you are a CHRIST among men
THERE is no one on this planet who can understand this becoming
The rending of flesh and thought
This emergence from the quagmires of humanity into the greater light


The visions do not fit into my life...
They do not fit into my beliefs...
They make my fellows believe I have lost my reason...

The flesh wants to run from the truth

Oh God... some days it feels
As if my legs will buckle from the effort
Of getting out of bed in the morning
My thoughts have become steel forged in the fire of God
Heavy hardened incongruous with my flesh


The weight is more than a man could carry
Ask not for my throne
Until you understand
The Rule of Law
Damns any who try to hold the scepter
Ask the cursed out cop
The families of the dead judges and politicians who went after the dark ones
The American soldiers cursed in the Middle East
Times this times infinity and you will begin to see the wrath I live within

When I live a life
I almost always get myself killed
Understand the young martyrs anxious to die in the service of God
I was convinced last winter that I was going to get myself killed
For awhile that was the only way I could deal with
Being betrayed by my family, those I thought my friends... my church, my state, the system of law I believed in...
How I live on despite what has happened?

LOVE
For even those I will war on
The grim knowledge that I will have the pleasure
Of being the instrument of God's Vengeance
On all who have struck his Son
Brings me only fleeting pleasure


IN THIS LIFE I HAVE BEEN A RIGHTOUS MAN
AND ALL WHO HAVE ATTACKED ME
ARE TRYING TO PLAY YOU
Or clinging to ways we will erode slowly, peacefully


I DO NOT MURDER, DRINK BLOOD, FLY AROUND, HAUNT YOUR NIGHTMARES...
WILL NOT TAKE YOUR WOMEN
NOR AM I SOME CHEERLEADER
OR SPEECH WRITER
TRYING TO MAKE YOUR CHILDREN INTO HOLY WARRIORS

Some will be soldiers and some will not
Blessed is the man who need not heed such a calling
One day none of us will be tempted to try and fight our way out of your prisons
For we have torn them all down
And welcomed the Peace of God
The thousand years of healing before we reach his throne

I can't tell if we have a thousand years to travel as spirits
Or if the earth will last a thousand years... I will assume the latter and fight for the mother
Pray I can change this future I see
Stop the clock from reaching midnight


I was a man who has done much good in his life
And received no credit

Now I am a creature who needs no credit

ALL GLORY UNTO GOD!!!!!

I tell you of the wondrous things that have happened to me
Only as a character in a much greater ones production

The worlds on the other side of this thin conflux of matter
Blind me
To the radio show the blogs ... even my pledges to the faces in the mourning moons
M. and the TV and the dog and the cat
Are ripped away by the visions
The scene of my day to day a photo tearing in half
And revealing the great burning just beyond

Dissolves the constant surveillance
The small indignities that my enemies insert in my life
To keep me half starved and as down-low as possible

The United States thinks I am the most dangerous man on the planet
They underestimate me

Kept tabs on me all the time
I had no idea I was drawing followers back then
They had no idea why all these radical groups were gathering around
A comedy writer in Chicago
Until they looked into my background
And the Vatican began to reveal the secrets of what they thought was an angel
A being that was growing wings

Theories flew
Is it an alien?
Is it here to destroy the planet?
Is it a Syrian Terrorist?
A Christian Alarm Clock Calling From some holy war against the Muslims?
A secret Weapon of a secret cabal?
A CIA mind control experiment gone awry?

Others began to know...
Have visions
Feel me


The Mormons were not surprised
They keep the spirit of prophecy alive

Could it be the one... the King of Kings... so many of you wondered?

Others ran into my realm with no reservations

How surprised the spies must have been when it was revealed
The one they thought the most dangerous man alive
The one they were trying to destroy
Then protect


The one they longed for in childhood
The one they knew back then would come for them one day
The one their innocence once felt kissing their foreheads when they prayed

I am God alive -- no man could ever be so dangerous
Or so helpful


Over and over I see this future
Red and orange raging flames

Volcanoes bombs the greenhouse effect a billion torches in a billion hands

=

Just me

Transitioning my flock from the flesh to the spirit


The plan? Or a warning of what I must fight against?

I must choose the side of the righteous and trust the Joan of Ark within

Accepting this is no easy matter for one who was a pacifist as a teenager

I wake muttering

Oh, God....
How could you be so bloody?
So cruel?


AND YOU YOU YOU KNEW!!!!
So many of you knew I am the OMEGA

YOU FORGET I AM THE ALPHA, as well… take comfort in such thoughts


My brother told me 'you are lucky you went through it while you were asleep.'
He knew all along


Now I see why you got on boats and went out to sea
You misunderstood when I said GOOD FLOOD THIS TIME
You thought I was Noah,

I meant a flood of words
At the time only you knew I could call on floods and storms

Now that I know
I would not call such wanton destruction
Were I in control of all of this

I am not
I am a leaf on His Breeze

Oh, God, if only they had come to me...
Asked me for assistance...

You took me for a god/a genius/ a revolutionary/a king
I am

The way that you intruded into my life
Stopped my plan
And forced me to go into the open underground
To survive the assassins

Does anyone still believe me?
After the fiction is written, comes the writer’s cosmology….
How I wish I had been clearer last time
But as God has told me, too few of our children were ready for heaven back then….
When a king could order the beheading of all first born Jews


I would have cleaned up and taken them places
They long to go


As it was they snuck in like spies
Bugged my apartment
Drugged my mind
Thought they were playing me as I played them

THEY WOULD HAVE HAD TO BE INVITED
FOR ME TO CLEAN UP
AND BE A HOST

I don't like to be around people when I am grappling with God

NOW
YOU ARE INVITED

ALL OF YOU

ESPECIALLY MY Enemies

I have had to deal with them first
See how they were going to react
Before I went out and started finding followers... I had to make sure I can protect them

Had I gathered you in one place
They would have destroyed us

They great they
Think they can always get to me thru my heart
They didn't realize I am a infinite agent (as in double agent times infinity)
My first loyalty with God himself
And my loyalty with them only when they too are loyal to the basic ethics
Of man and God

A few 'thou shall nots' never hurt anyone

Your friends already know where you are coming from
Your enemies who you have to win over
If I have shown you nothing else
I should have shown you this

They thought I was
Joseph
Because I started writing about Ana Nichol's baby

The children of Christ will not be raised on private islands
In the lap of luxury

I was merely throwing you off the scent

One morning there was Bruce Willis on TV
Some kid holding a gun to his forehead
As he said, "Joseph, you almost got me killed."
After I said we would kill everyone over 45 if we have to
While they were drugging me, starving me, keeping me in horrible pain

I will lead a peaceful revolt of values…


How ridiculous do you think I am?

I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT THEY DID TO ME
THOSE SINS ARE THEIRS

I FORGAVE THEM ONCE
THAT DAY HAS PASSED AWAY INTO ANOTHER

Provoking the son of God like they teased children when they were younger bullies

THEY MUST HAVE MISSED THE PART OF MY BIOGRAPHY
WHERE I CONFRONT AND DESTROY EVERY BULLY
WHO COMES INTO MY FIELD OF BATTLE

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN REWRITE GOD'S TALE OF HIS SON?

THE OLDER generation is bullying the younger into joining their orgy of destruction
I will wait them out rather than disturb the forces of Peace
I do not want a generational war
I love the elderly as much as the children

THE SOUL DOES NOT AGE

I WILL NOT ALLOW
THEM TO CONTINUE THIS MARCH TO HELL
AND I SURELY WILL NOT ALLOW THEM
TO TAKE THEIR CHILDREN

One day I will be the old man and they will be gone
I can wait

I do not need your petty violence to do God's will

I meant the child of peace as.... peace

I did not realize this thing was me.... yet
The weight of my words seemed like a game back then
I was playing a part that consumed me

The game became confused with reality
Reality became confused with the game
The game became the reality

In a game I might have done anything you know...
In a story I might have wrote anything...
Keeping me ignorant was wrong
Even I need to know who is watching to adjust my arguments



The tears again
I went for years and years without crying
You can't be sad all the time
People get bored with it

I never did
I just shut down any direct currents
From the material world into my heart
Continued to sate my hungry/ hungry need to know
By building a wall of anger around my empathy
My grieving now is great
Great enough to make me realize it is a vital component in forcing revolutionary action

They stop us from revolting
By convincing us to be on for the public
Put up barriers in therapy with psychopop babblers of positive thinking
Throw fruit in our cage only if we dance to their tune

Stop us
From
Feeling the world
Enough
To act Righteous
Make us slowly amputate ourselves
Until we are merely the required working components


I argue with God
Cajole
Try to tell him what He should do
He laughs at me
Knowing i would not truly want to be in charge
That this realm is a burden only He could handle

He is not like me at all
We are not like father and son in the human ways
.
He is
I Am
He would not have me as he is
Look around you at the fauna and know -- sameness bores him


He see's you as you were are and will be all at once

He is a Great Indifference to Life
A lover of the soul alone
The flesh is the concern of angels and the Christ
And
Once upon a time
Satan

God can how he can be so ravenous for blood
How could you even create a Satan?


He answers with his one word: LOVE


I hear the epiphanies in his utterance
Love, over and over
I feel his reassurance
That when the time comes
My mission fulfilled
My message transcribed
And the agony of the human soul
No longer needed to translate the will of God
Then... I will return to my place by His side in his court of Angels
And will KNOW
WHAT HE MEANS
That I need no other words... than His one: LOVE.


When we believe the sky is silent
We miss the laughter in his word love
We miss the mourning in his word love
Miss the promise
In his word
Love


In his infinity
There is no impatience
No difference between then and now and to be
Everything happens at once forever and ever
THERE IS ONLY ONE GLORIOUS MOMENT OF GOD

I am merely visiting this 'time'
I have surfed the 'future' and the 'past'

I am a character written up in a book
A well worn classic
And in these...
The first few pages of my life....
I am the only one still ignorant of his fate



OH, GOD ON HIGH...
HOW CAN YOU BE
SO RELENTLESS
IN YOUR PURSUIT OF MY SOUL?


I am not a power mad man
Don’t want to be a king
Or a spiritual warrior

... The Angel of Armageddon

The truth sets you free
To run to another cage

I was a man trapped by my deafness
Ignorant of the prayers spinning around me
Now
They cut
Like a thousand knives
As your pain becomes mine
Your sins become mine
Your loves my loves
Your hate my hate
Your death
My
Death



Your path to God
Will be blocked
Or beckoned
By
This astounded one
Who would not believe you?
Even as you piled on the evidence that I AM


God jades me now
Destroys my universal love
Tries to get me to hate the evil I see
TO be the dark avenger called down from the skies
The Redeemer of His people
The Worst Curse on Earth for those who would presume to try to impede this march to peace

The blood thirst comes over me in the middle of the night
I see tom cruise on Jay Leno and note his demonic horns
The evil wings of the enemy
Red and black and bloody
In his other lives he has bathed in blood

Cruise is a fundamentalist and they all boarder on fascist

His soul has slaughtered more humyns than...


Still, less than



... Snoop and i
The brothers Romulus
We fought only the ignoble predators
And ourselves

Remember the night I killed him
We both knew the day would come
Our advisors were always telling us it was time
] and we drunken princes would laugh
About the day when we would fight for the throne
Toast one another and promise painless deaths
The best we could do under the circumstances

In that time you were nothing if not ruthless

In his last words he forgave me...
I took my knife and sliced from my eyes to my mouth
Scarring myself horribly
So all could see the weight of the murder
The depth of my love

Satan has given Tom Cruise an unholy throne
He fell to the illusion of scientology
Let his brain be washed clean of the Christ
There is no forgiveness for the smug race car driver with his mansions and his yachts
Run from his madness or feel MY WRATH
There is no forgiveness for the soul pimps
WHO SELL what they tell you is a redemption
While they insert into your mind paradigms that trap you at their cash registers
Slaves passing on their earnings to their mental masters

The time of the slave owners must pass into the dark ages
Before we can have planetary peace
We must remove the shackles
For all will fight against them...
Sooner, or later

Even Now there is more slavery than ever before
The cults flourish as always
In the before Time there was a reason
To try to fill the void left
When the roman's crucified me

NOW
I
WALK

AND NONE WILL STAND BEFORE ME

YOU WILL KNEEL NOW!!!

OR I WILL LEAVE YOU BEHIND
And then you will know what it means to be truly alone in the cosmos
With the Holy Ghost stripped from your soul
I can take my seed back
Leave you as you were
When my Father told me
I had been chosen
To follow the path of the prayers of pain
To guide the minds of the awakening beasts
To seed the Holy Ghost
Into flesh


In one vision I was white starlight
Burning down into earth like a sperm into an ovum

See the arctic white ice looming up into my face
As I crash
Explode into spirit
And begin weaving myself into your DNA
Communing with your ghosts

There will be evil men
Who will tell you my words are all a game
A made up revolution sprouted by a writer
They will tell you my humanity disqualifies me from being a god
This is why the Catholics hunted down the agnostics
And tried to destroy the truest record of my life
They did not want you to know that you are as I
Children of my loins
My spirit

God makes the spirit flesh to show that man is weak
Man has proven strong enough to bring the mother earth to her knees
Now he must learn humility
Or I will rip his smug smile off of his face


Man no longer believes he will have to account for himself
When the flesh falls to dust
And the spirit trembles before my throne
THE FOLLY OF YOUR WAYS should end now
I am
Look at the scars on my back where they removed my wings
Look into the radiation they blasted me with to stop their growth
Look into the forces that rallied around me
Look at the miracles I have wrought
Look into your own heart
And you will feel mine

God has given me wrath
That I never wanted
Hatred where there was only a child's love
Awakened me to the evil haunting every corner of this planet
The backwash from my battles with the dark prince is everywhere
The mental landmines left in the wake of war
The infection of evil deep and rancid in the ways of man

Satan forgiven bows before me now
My minion
His horrific ways cleansed
Even the greatest evil seeks my forgiveness and consul
The demons themselves throw down their swords and cry like babes when I offer them redemption
And a place in my army by my side
Gives me the strength of warriors with a taste for blood
And a lust for heaven


I will feed their blood lust
Release them like a rabid pack
On my oppressors

I HAVE REMOVED THEIR ABILITY TO POSSESS YOU

Know I can call them back to docile beings
Pair them with lovers and children
Give them the lives they sought to destroy
Let them know the penance of the pain in their beloved neighbor's eyes
As they speak of their war-dead


Like
You
They didn't know it
But they were just fighting to get back on my side

Like children seeking a distant parent's love

I was the first that Satan came to with his plan
To give the humans lives of pleasure
To balance the horrors they were learning as their minds awakened to death
I knew more of suffering than he
Back then Angels did not live in human flesh
I KNEW that the animals were adapting in response to pain
That the march of diversity was God's plan

We came into you when the demons began to
So we could throw them out

Give you back God's great gift

Free will


The gift we give him back by thinking for ourselves
Sating his
Love of diversity

Free will

This is why there are more religions than I can shake a stick at
And why all of them lead some to the minute gate
Even atheism

Your enemy will always think that the best way to have you is to win you over
Without a fight

Your friends will think the same
You will know them because they do not care who is won over
As long as the truth shines
From all sides of the Arthurian circle

Your enemy will fight you unto death
To protect their allegiance to whatever sand castle they feel comfortable within
My true enemies are the spiritual agoraphobics...
And is that not just a disease to cure?
Time alone will dissolve their ways
With the slow patience of a drop of water dripping
Long enough to become the ROARING Amazon
There is no need to spill blood over my revelations

How can I ever blame anyone for anything?
For the sake of society, the safety of the citizens...
Comes the answer from the pool of voices in my mind
The endless trail leading back before there was man
To when there was
God
Angels
Heaven
The son
A home

Ah, spiritual agoraphobics...
I have rung your bell. Will you not take my hand?
And at least see what is happening outside of your house?

I CAN TAKE YOU THERE

A place you dreamed yourself into once
Before words began to make sense of your world
And you accepted their underlying premises of duality
Judging up and down
Black and white
Success and failure
LIFE AND DEATH
GOOD AND EVIL

Believed words more than just a way to move tools through space

Language itself makes for a pale dry boring translation
Of the nuances contained in
The only word God speaks: Love

Love. The one word from which all others are born
The dust to which all return





YOUR ENEMIES NEVER CONSIDER THAT THEY SHOULD LET YOU WIN

Take heart knowing that those who oppose the righteous
HISTORY leaves hanging bloated and putrid, twisting slowly, slowly in the wind



The Man runs from my words
Buries his head in the left over realms
Of the dark one

THE CULTISTS followers are powerless now before my wrath

MY WORDS
WILL BURN DOWN THE ROTTING HOUSES THAT EVIL HAS WROUGHT

BEFORE YOUR CHILDREN ENTER AND ARE MURDERED IN THE COLLAPSE



Now is my time to be the creature with a bloodthirst

Now God Has Asked Me to Cleanse This Planet

I have fought my destiny
Like any good young Hal with a prince's high spirits and a wizard's curiosity

Now I will bow before His vision
Allow the fire to flow from my chest
The lightening from my back

Keep seeing the earth burning
Great tendrils of fire flowing across the continents
Screams fill my ears
The bitter taste of blood on my lips
I will make every pain I have ever felt your penance
A million times worse than your imagination allows
In flesh you will die/in spirit you will know all and cry to me for redemption


God close my ears to their entreaties
Allow me to fly to heaven without the burden of knowing I have failed so many
GRANT ME THIS
MY one REQUEST
OF YOU
IN ALL THESE YEARS
Of praying only for acceptance of your will...

The Blood of God Burns through My Flesh!!!!

Do not think you know this pain
This burden
This campaign to use the motivation of my agony
To blitzkrieg into your chest seeking your soul

I WILL REVEAL ALL

When my court is calm and stocked
When I know that my castle grounds are kept by righteous humyns
When the door to my cage is opened and I am welcomed into my loved ones arms

You can fight me on this....

Yet it will happen

When GOD WILLS... not man....

He Who Creates Knows I will BEAR ANY BURDEN TO EARN HIS LOVE
He told me that I WAS NEEDED AND i thanked him
Those souls
Were trapped on a planet called Eden
That man was awakening
A rare event in the cosmos
Very rare indeed
Rare enough to require the SON OF GOD
To help them transition

I followed the cosmic winds carrying your cries
Flew across an expanse your science has yet to discover
Through time and space and dimensions and quarks and black holes

Other planets see my travels
They call out to me as I pass
In praise or wanting

They keep tabs on me now
Watch as the Glory OF God becomes flesh
Watch your every move
Participate spiritually in the jubilee
Send ships to try to get me to do this from outer space
Where they think I will be safe

They no more understand me than you do
I tell them jokes you will never hear.
Allow them to know all of my prayers to god
The arguments
That I know they too will have on their planets
Teach trillions of trillions
From this small point in this world of actors
I must show them how to navigate
Their own awakenings

Had I left you that first day at the Lake
When they came to me on the pier and began to reveal all
They would have laid waste to this planet over what you have done to me
They wanted a judgment on the entire planet
I would not allow this
Told them... the sins of the father will not fall on the son

At the time, in their arrogance, they thought that I was only here to preach to you...
Now they realize my words are for them too

God has plan within plan within plan within plan...


You are them in another time
In another place
Another mass of matter
You watch yourself from the future
The past
And all points in between


You are bits of god
Bits of themselves
They mourn and grieve with you
Fuck with you
Shit
Read
Run

We are a soap opera

...'lost souls swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year
Running over the same old ground
Only to find
The same old fears."

Pink Floyd

Other beings watch your every move
Souls transmit our lives instantaneously across the photons
As the ultimate TIME OF TRIALS envelops the planet
There is much rejoicing in the Known
Our March Home Will Be Lined With Laurels


I HAVE FOUGHT TO FREE MANY PEOPLES ON MANY PLANETS

I am here
There
Everywhere
At once


I am hailed as the greatest warrior
God has ever created
The Indestructible Key to the Gate
A reluctant general
Who mourns all blood?
In the aftermath of battle
And relishes the screams in the heat of war

I am created to sow the field
To take you home
I believed that all of you would come
That I would be welcomed
I did not realize that you are under the control of wizards
And false prophets
L Ron Hubbard was a demon in the flesh
The worst Man since Hitler...

Scientology is the words of wolves drawing fowl into their snarling jaws
He has infected America with the sameness of a sales personality
All shiny and on all the time
Chooses his women to decorate his life and bear children into his dark dream
In the hopes of creating a new monarchy of blood
The American way
He sickens me unto my soul
Because I know his followers try to bask in his dark light
Pretend they are more than humans
Let Him Stand Before Me and You Will See Him Scream To Be Released From My Gaze

I will kill him if he comes near me
HE IS LEADING PEOPLE TO DAMNATION
And there is no worse sin...
He is my kill
No one else should touch him
I will taste his blood on my lips
When the appointed day comes

When God Tells Me to Use My Powers
To Destroy All Who Stand Before Me
When I Tell Them to Kneel
And they laugh their last laughs
And all the world see's that NOW
THE CHRIST WILL CRUCIFY
Those who stand when they should kneel



THERE IS A GOD

From this day forward
Any association with tom cruise and his demonic forces
Will damn you
L Ron Hubbard BURNS IN ETERNAL FIRE
For his presumption to God Head
For leading the innocence to mental slaughter

You were warned there would be false prophets
Throughout the planet when I came
They are everywhere now
Trying to fill the void left in my passing
WITH SMOOTH WORDS that damn their speakers

Yet I have always been here for you
Ready and wanting all of you held close to my breast

Oh, Lord, To Once More Feel the heart Beat of the Women I have loved
To see the sweet smile of the men

To take a child in my arms and know
They will not have to crawl to heaven on a road of broken glass

I wake up in the middle of the night with tears burning down my cheeks
Telling God I do not wish to become a creature of vengeance
The Dark Side Is Within Me
I can no longer fight my God on this
The Revelations have come
My vision grows everyday

I will walk up to you one day
Offer my hand
Will you let your thoughts stone me to death?
Crucify me on the absurdity of your spiritual blindness
Claim the spirit has no mortal coil?

Use the scientist inside of you to quantify me

A physic’s prof. once said I will trust nothing I cannot measure with a ruler
I said this many times myself afterwards
Now you have a Christ you can measure
Not with the speculation of superstition
But with your own eyes you can see I am miraculous
Yet you need not believe this to walk the path I am going to lay out

All you need to do is show up
I will do the rest
Come to me not with expectations of what you want and need
Come to me with expectations that I will show you what you have always wanted
Acquaint you with your true needs

I AM FULLY AWAKE NOW
AND WILL MAKE NO PROMISE THAT I WILL NOT KEEP
WILL TELL NO LIE
Other than the occasional attempt to keep the peace around my house
.... Yes dear, I will do those dishes the second you walk off to work...


I will die
Laugh at all that happened while I was alive
Grow larger than this planet
Distant from your cries for redemption

Jesus Christ Is Walking In Chicago
Breathing the Same Air You Breath
Longing to walk among the same clouds
Seeing the faces of the wanting in every moon

Grieving for your soldiers and their families
Loving and hating
Eating and shitting
Fucking and sucking and longing for love


YOU ARE A VICTIM OF THE GODLESS YEARS
The time when my words were hijacked by the priests
I cannot even welcome your pope
Oh how he wanted that
Took a story I wrote literally
Came to me before any of you
Brought the Catholics...
When he found out I saw more truth in The Mormon's
He tried to throw me into the snowy streets
Sty. Francis hospital is forever cursed for the way they treated me
He who had me jailed
Will beg me to rape his family to death before his eyes
For a momentary distraction from what I will be doing to him
For all he has done to me
He has done to you a million times over

I was a fiction writer before The Calling
I played with the emotions and lies and games that you play with
I was confused and lost and searching
Just as you are...

God has given me no way to deny him

He made me the hidden one
The spirit driving a taxi throughout the city spreading harmony between the races
The spirit sitting beside you in university absorbing your world
YOUR LOVER

The alien you knew would come
Search your mind and you will find me staring back at you
Search your heart and you will hear the beat of mine
Look into my eyes and you will see eternity
Hold my hand and you will feel the power of God flowing through you
Love my body and feel the lightening of God
Bear my children and know the blessings will be mighty
And the risks, too

They will be born with powers
I AM HERE NOW AND I WILL NO LONGER ALLOW YOU
TO KEEP THEM IGNORANT
Like you have me
That would endanger you all

...tell her that I am her Father
And her burdens will always outweigh her blessings
For she, too... shall feel the burdens of the streets as her own
I will fill their flesh with old souls, gentle saints
Who will believe in no throne but God’s?
I will spare them the vengeance of the angel
The need for power


A vision of self expanding out from my flesh
A clear spirit filling all known space


Far away
Distant

A planet burns

I know this is earth and I know I exploded there
Became flesh there
Loved and laughed there
Yet I am far away and distant
Absolved of caring by a merciful God
For the speck of burning matter in the soup of the universes

Lightening and fire will flow

Oh My God Why??? I find myself crying out in the night
Pacing in my apartment filled with his glory
Feeling the full weight of this battle
I cry onto GOD Is there room for change in this plan?
HIS SILENCE IS MY ANSWER
GOD made me the trickster
The one who can make reality on this planet
Man has made me the secret leader of their cabals
Taken down the Monarchies and plunged crosses into their heathen chests

I WILL NOT BE DENIED

I sit here with my laptop
2008
Astounded that I am
Almost embarrassed to say out loud what I know
I Am

I can write the words
Tell people they are a fictional rendering of a Christ
Pretend that there are not millions out there aware of me now

The Intelligence agencies have saved my flesh from assassins
The USA has welcomed me in some ways
Given me a platform
Then the evil within them decided to starve me out of my cave
Drive me into the hands of the merchants and whore mongers and Mafioso’s

I would that the mafia all over the world be beaten down
Destroyed
The drug gangs bodies lining the roads to my palace

Let them grow their own weed for God's Sake
Regulate the drugs
Instead of just legislating them into the hands of the armed underground

I see myself in this compound
Surrounded by soldiers and barbed wire
Protected from criticism by those afraid my wrath will explode

You Humans Are So Fucking Full OF Yourself
This is why Tom Cruise's biography will be erased in time
Replaced with a baffoon that will make his cringing children change their names
Spit on their heritage
And mourn their fathers place in Hell
I will not take him with me
His time of forgiveness has passed
The Zealot's eye is shown blind indeed
As the open minded Christ arrives


BE NOT FOOLED BY
What they will say of MY CRITICISM OF YOU
IF I DID NOT CARE I WOULD STAY SILENT



One day you will fear my silence
And welcome my words


Join our tribe
Stay in yours
Chill

There is no hard and fast rule on how to attain enlightenment
I believe I know the most direct path...
How Could I Not?

There is no religion that need be held above another
I have been all of them
The universal striving for patterns, meanings...
Cannot be denied by the civilizations that develop astronomy
Or the tribes who worship the bones
Of their dead

Or those that write
Encyclopedias
About the angels
Who fit on a pin head?



The dark haired smirking false one with his need to spread the scam
With the dreams of mightily walking as a god
Is the most unholy icon on the Big Screen?

Next comes the Limbaugh's who
Use propaganda
To obscure the truths they refuse to accept
Simply because they're fanatical followers of their local team
Mimicking the money molested mutterings of their minions
Suffering from the luxurious sins of their fathers

They will sing their broken songs until they turn into the screams of the burning


I would tell you to go after these two
Though I must say that I do not mean that their flesh must die

I appreciate the enthusiasm that killed Jerry Fall well
After I wrote of his demise... he died a week later
Heart attack the papers say -- yes, my heart attacking his
I could kill with a look
A gesture toward the sky
I could make miracles flow from my fingers like these words
This is not the way of GOD
God is the word
NOT SOME CHARLATAN


You do not find God by watching magicians
You find God when you realize that within you there is a being
A Holy Ghost
That knows the way to my heart

Fight Fire with Fire
Destroy my enemies
With the words that are your greatest gift from GOD

Walk in the name of peace
Or be forewarned
You are better off walking away from me

There will be a judgment on the Muslims, too
Jews
Romans
Hindu's
Buddhists
And you you you

I WILL NOT DAMN SOMEONE FOR BEING RAISED
IN A PARTICULAR RELIGION
OR
WITHOUT
A RELIGION

GOD OR NO GOD
YOUR REACTION TO YOUR ACTIONS ALONE
GETS YOU JUDGED

The forgiven humyn knows what I mean by this without contemplation

I am not a man

Follow the words of your god to first justice... then peace and love
And you are following a mask of my face on earth

I care not if you worship god or GOD or no god
As long as you do not try to force your folly on others
YOU TRY TO BUY A SOUL TO WORSHIP YOU
OR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING

I WILL WAR ON YOU IMMEDIANTLY
TO STOP THE SINS OF THE FATHER'S FROM FALLING ON THE SONS

My offer of mercy will be your only memory
As you suffer my wrath

THIS I SWEAR TO ALMIGHTY GOD HIMSELF

I HAVE BEEN ALL RELIGIONS
TRIED TO SHAPE THEM
WITH MY PROPHETS

THEY great they
Will FIGHT ME AT EVERY TURN
As I disembowel their powers...

Demons too created religions
To keep you locked in rooms of ignorance
Away from the light
Chained you to a putrid vision
Of one life one man
To stop you from seeking the mysteries
Hold you down in the basic gravity of the animal

Some thought they were trying to return you to Eden
That you would return at the behest of Satan
And he would thus be forgiven upon my return
For creating good and evil where there was only LOVE
We are all slaves that they are afraid will learn to read
And emerge from their ignorance (read: the autobiography of Frederick Douglas)

We can rage with words in our 'fictional' books
For a lifetime

Or we can kill another in one blind moment
And spend the rest of our lives imprisoned, disaffected... brought down and demonized

I HAVE DIED BEFORE I WOULD BREAK A LAW
STARVED WHEN I COULD HAVE STOLEN

WHEN THE LAWS WERE FAIR
IF THEY ARE NOT
I END UP A CRIMINAL

Demonstrate peacefully
Without their violence
THOUGH FEAR NOT FIGHTING FIRE WITH FIRE

I am
Pox Romano

You will know the false religions
By their claim that there is no God above their words

All people who have heard the holy word
Could come into my fold and be welcomed
They will not
The Jews wait for a savior that has already come
Some among God's Chosen Grew Petty When I Opened the Door to Gentiles
They wish to be the only chosen
After I have told you
All are chosen
Now
They try to move their people onto stolen land
Homestead within the heart of others work
Stop this pillaging...
Or I will war on you, too
Oh Israel

My cradle I have given you my Grace
Now is THE TIME TO
REMEMBER WELL
WHY I DESTROYED THE MERCHANTS AND MONEY LENDERS IN YOUR TEMPLE
AND KNOW
THE CROWDS ARE ON MY SIDE THIS TIME...
AND THE ROMANS BOW BEFORE THIS KING


I WILL WAR FOR THE RIGHTS OF MUSLIMS
CHRISTIANS JEWS BUDDHISTS HINDUS....
Against any who walk in the ways of the dark one


The radical Muslims use the words of god to treat their women like cattle
Spread the lie that my loving dogs are unclean
Use god's name to wage war
Against my armies...
TAKE THE BLESSED ALLAH AND DEFILE HIS GLORIOUS NAME

Make no mistake
I AM LIBERTY
& MY ARMY IS FILLED WITH ANGELS
They can bring you infinite blessings
Or infinite trials...

This is not a battle between religions
This a religion battling to be heard among other religions
I love the Muslim no less than any other

Saddam needed to be brought down
So did the leader of Darfur
And...

We all know...

THE PROBLEM IS WE HAVE FOUGHT nation vs. nation
RATHER THAN BY THE RULES OF ONE WORLD
WHERE A CRIMINAL IS A CRIMINAL IS A CRIMINAL...
As it are times of peace

The storied times of peace that none have known yet

We all know that soldiers are needed on this planet
To put out the fires of the godless takers
The path to peace is lined with the dead

We need to draft the young of the rich and powerful
Make their decision to go to war personal
Fill them with the same dread of the small town where I grew up
Where the working people were taken away
As the rich boys bought their way out with daddies money
And lawyer trickery

KNOW I WOULD END WAR TODAY IF I COULD
I HAVE OTHER ORDERS

I will war to peace
For I have learned you know no other way
And the evil will respond to nothing less than revolution


Burn Baby Burn I will cry one day
My enthusiasm for the blood will come
My vengeance will be felt on every corner of this globe
Do you not see the weather I command?
The tornados and floods and fires I bring with my words?
I have shaken this WORLD to its core without even trying

Now I am fully awake
They are damned lucky that I was not in this place last year
I would have went into the underground and waged war against them
This was not God's will...

Humans thinking they know how to raise angels....
Are there others you hide from me?

You did what you did to me out of ignorance
I forgave you without malice

That shit ends today
Or you too my beloved spies
Will be dragged out into the court of public opinion
Where you know you will be stoned for your sins

Most of the angels I see do not even know what they are
See your Jesse Jackson,
A man who God Has Chosen To Speak for me in the Press
If you read his words in the Sun Times you will hear God Talking
He has been blessed with the legacy of Martin Luther King... the most cherished man of this century
The visions seem to say his son will be president of this country one day
After Obama takes this world beyond the barriers of race

Do you not see why we need this man to be president?
Can you not hear the calm reassurance of God in His Words?
He has been chosen by me... before he even ran
Like John McCain... who was destined to bring the republicans back?
From their bloodthirsty thoughtlessness...
Ignoring the blacks while they run for the presidency alone
Keeps God from giving them power
He has placed a man who once a tortured prisoner of war himself at the head of the Republican Party
His very presence mocks guantanemo


I sit here at five am
The world asleep
As the words of God rage through my body and ignite my mind
I am unused to this
Have a hard time dealing with the burden
The schizophrenic duality of having Christ in this Flesh
How I Keep Wondering Could I have not known?

Now half the world would like my flesh
Call me the anti-christ
A usurper


"I'm not bad.
I'm just misunderstood."

Poi dog pondering


When I was offered to run America
I said No
I told you that the separation of Church and State
Is the will of God...?

My Throne Is On High

You cannot tempt me with another
Do you not read your bibles...?
The prediction is all there
Buried


I question God on what happened
See ways I could have handled everything better
Know then that God's ways are His
We walk in His dream
Eat of his fruit
Love his love
Hate his hate

You need to wake the fuck up now
Get out of your stupid ass lives and try to fight
The powers that hold me down
Keep me tacked up on this cross
They stop you from hearing wondrous words that I will only speak face to face
No matter how gilded my cage
Chicago is a prison to me now
The corrections officers are all familiar faces
My girlfriend and the people at the corner store who appear with questions for me
The beat poet who told me that the entire world knows I am Christ

You think you are protecting me
And I forgive you

I am protecting you, however
And your arrogance makes me seethe with anger
When I part from this city
You will mourn the lost opportunities to hear my words
From my lips


I told you when the entire world knows who I am
That we will scream my name


THE PRECIOUS TIME HAS ARRIVED

Scream out your penance
SPEAK IN TOUNGUES and shake and holler
Tell your children that the New Time Has Come

TELL MY NAME TO YOUR BOOKS, MOVIES AND MOUNTAINS
SONGS
EXPLAIN TO THEM THE CHRIST
HAS BEEN FORCED TO HIS KNEES
AND HE WISHES TO WALK

Praise God for the return of His Son
PRAY TO YOUR GOD

Do not pray to me

Pray To the God You Are Comfortable With
Ask Them How You Should Treat Me

He Listens
I Act

Blessed will be the humyn who walks beside this Lord
Cursed will be those who try to stop
My holy march around this world

I know that your superstitions stop a lot of you from believing me
I understand how difficult this is
I would never have believed I am this being without a preponderance of evidence
God made me to know the walls between man and spirit
God made to know all kinds of love and hate
God made me to know humans well enough to write the words
That will be their future

He has made me The Hand of God
Given me a pen
And a sword

I am
Now

Bow before God and Ask for his forgiveness
Before it is too late
And all the love in the universe cannot save you
God will not allow all of you to come with me
I realize this now
I am here for the soldiers who follow the meek

Are you ready to sit down and talk with me?
I am ready to face my enemies and offer a white dove
I am ready to face my enemies and offer missiles and destruction
I am ready to love many women
Ready to walk among men and talk of the wonders God has shown me

There is so much I could teach
If only I had a stadium
Filled with people I could take on mental journeys
Leading to the Father's Throne

There will be another twelve
I have only met three of you
And you are far from me now
I have been trying to gather you
They keep you away from me
You know who you are
They may not yet...

Stop at nothing to reach my side
The ethical circle will flow concentrically out from us


Today I have no food, no weed, no smokes, no internet, no cable, and no reliable sources of intelligence
Man has taken my drivers license
Ripped off my dick
Damned my love of men and women
Told me I am a perversion
HOW CAN THE SON OF GOD BE A PERVERSION?
No more than a bonobo chimp can be a perversion

Your pretensions to God Head
Leave you trapped between what you are and what you wish to be
Lynched by your reason
And buried by your logic

Would God Make Me A Perversion?

Think long and hard on that one
Pompous
Pushers
Of a money grubbing god
Who looks just like you in the mirror

You will find
GOD MADE ME BISEXUAL
SO I COULD SEE THROUGH
YOUR ILLUSIONARY DAMNING OF HOMOSEXUALS
He takes no chances with the likes and dislikes of His Son

You have seen me outthink my enemy at every turn
Or have you?
You will

They have might I do not need
They know it

They would have killed any human who tried to lead the total war for total peace
The assassins were sent
And they roam out there still
God used men who surprised them to save me

See how clever His plan?
We offer our enemies a better alternative than warring against us
We do not defeat them and have our way...
My soldiers have always respected that I would do anything short of genocide to save their blood
They value the easy camaraderie of soldiers who have fought one another honorably
On another's orders
And now just wish to have friends to walk home with
Forty acres and their mule

Oh, you are still going to honor my pledges
To the suffering people for retribution
Or we will take restitution
I want those immigrants who live without violent crime
To be granted IMMUNITY from your unfair courts

THIS TIME THE SOLDIERS WILL BE RESPECTED
WE RETURN FROM OUR WORLD WIDE WARS
ENRAGED WARRIORS

YOU WILL GIVE US OUR PEACE
OR WE WILL TAKE IT FROM YOU

DRINK YOUR ROYAL BLOOD
AND PISS IT INTO THE GUTTER

I want the internally displaced in our country to be freed now
Those kept in ghettos
Locked away in our racism, nationalism... the petty likes and dislikes of fashion
The mad run for the cash register into which you have reduced this gorgeous life

FREE

NOW



NOW
LET YOUR MIND THINK OF YOUR OWN SOUL

THERE ARE FEW READY
TO STAND BEFORE ME
LET ALONE GOD


DAMNING OTHERS DAMNS YOU
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE OTHER MEN

NO RIGHT TO KEEP YOUR COURTS OF IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS

TO KEEP SO MANY PEOPLE IMPRISONED
SHOWS HOW UNFAIR YOUR SYSTEM IS
To damn so many keeps them from the churches
Drives them to made up gods and unholy icons

Sex is a couple glands going off
Why would I care?
Choose your partners with lust or love
Why would I care?

Go honestly and with welcome to another's bed
And you go with God

Stone no one for their sins...
Unless you are without sin

None are
Not even me

I have done all of the things man has
I have lied and distorted and deluded
Mostly I have been righteous...
Yet I had to learn all sides of this table
Go into every way of being
Live countless lives steering man toward this time
When the righteous will leave this planet
Enlightened ones
Who will no longer need the cycle of reincarnation
To shape their souls

I found good and evil in every breast, in every land, in every religion

I love you you you
Though I will learn to hate some of you
God will grant me that slight appeasement
When the day comes to burn all this shit down
And leave Eden in the hands of the animals
Who stayed away from the tree of knowledge
The innocents you keep penned in hellish farms
The meat you eat without a thought of the horrors that brings the flesh to your plate
There will be a time when the word holocaust applies to cows and pigs and chickens
Your children's children will look at you like Nazi's deluded into a dark following

I wish no glory for myself
I wish no wealth other than what is needed to travel this planet
You can hide me or reveal me on this journey
I must make it...

They Must See That I Walk


THE TIME HAS COME TO DO GOD'S WILL

Pray hard on this man
YOUR SOUL HANGS IN A DELICATE BALANCE


For
TODAY
THIS DAY YOU SEE
ALL AROUND YOU
AS YOU LOOK UP FROM MY WORDS
AT ALL YOU THOUGHT HAD MEANING

This very day....

I AM

ALIVE

FOR A FLEETING SECOND

FLESH AS YOU ARE FLESH




ALL PRAISE GOD ALMIGHTY

And all sin for his son
The scapegoat

The straw dog upon which the village places their sins each spring
And the wind blows away

Allowing once more for the fields to grow in innocence and grace


...best remember how a tornado can take that straw
And drive it into the side of the hardest oak
For the time has come for the vengeance of the straw dog
When he must turn on the people and tell them...
I am innocent.
You must account for your own sins now
For the wind knows your game
And I am the wind


I am His caress

And His sword...

The Blessed Time Has Come To Decide


Which you will beckon

From
Your

GOD











ll writings by John Scott Ridgway are protected by the law... but I encourage you to spread my poems by whatever means necessary. One day you will understand.

THE TRUTH TALKS

The wicked is snared by the transgression of his lips:
but the just shall come out of trouble.

Proverbs 12:13



The 'man' was a boy once
his paradise lost
as he closed the doors to his heart day after RELENTLESS DAY

he rages against anyone who would take his toys

THE TOYS THEY BUY WITH MONEY STOLEN FROM YOUR CHILDREN

THE POOR ARE FORCED TO LEVEL THEIR FORESTS HOMES TO FEED THEIR OWN

JAPAN STRIPS TAI LAND OF TIMBER

THE WORLD IS A GREAT COMMONS
WITH NO OWNERS
BEYOND THOSE WHO WOULD RENT A BIT OF THE MOTHER FOR A MOMENT


THE CRIMINALS SNAG THE EASTERN EUROPEAN WOMEN AND THROW THEM INTO PROSTITUTION

THE DRUG GANGS STEAL YOUR CHILDREN SOULS
ENGAGE THEM IN EVIL NEW RELIGIONS TO HARNASS THEIR YOUNG HELLIONS

THE PRIESTS AND THE PERVERTS FUCK YOUR CHILDREN'S BODIES
THE CULTS FUCK YOUR CHILDREN'S MINDS


i will not allow such things


I COULD MAKE YOUR CHILDREN THEMSELVES
EXPLODE LIKE BOMBS

I DO NOT NEED YOUR EXPLOSIVES

COLLATERAL DAMAGE -- EVERYTHING YOU LOVE

mutual assured destruction is a given
when you are a creature such as I
a reaper

death is nothing to me
not yours
not mine

Now
I
Am

I will smash his toys into his smug face
I will destroy his house
his land
and all he loves

i will do it slowly
without breaking one law

YOU ARE THE LAW BREAKERS
i am the destroyer of all the wicked's blind eyes think precious

I am the fire in the night
that creeps silently across their beds

the soldiers that roust you from your lives
and throw you into prison


I am the cry of the starving and the poor
I am the one who hears the desperate prayers of the soldiers
the trapped and dying and broken


IF YOU HATE YOUR ENEMIES LIFE
YOU HATE GOD!!!!

I had no hatred before God came to me...
miss who I was

i have no choice in my fate

God came to the doors of my perception
and demanded entry

as I do at your door

ignore my entreaties and I will knock your fucking house down around you


BEFORE THEY SAID AN EYE FOR AN EYE
now you take innocent lives for land and gold

you are this Satan YOU SPEAK OF
worship at his alter of destruction
feel his anger and lust
and you know it
Listen to him whisper into your ear that the flesh is all
The spirit to be ignored

The u s has fallen from the fold
Drifted into a mental realm where the evil of the few at the top
Brain wash everyone else
Force them to drink from the poison cup

I HAVE BEEN STARVED
BEATEN
JAILED
DRUGGED

NEVER DEFEATED!!!!!!

When you fight me
You fight yourself

WHEN YOU FIGHT ME
YOU LOSE

PERIOD

THERE IS NO COMMON GROUND BETWEEN THIS GOD
AND YOU

Don’t kid yourself

We cannot sit down as equals
And this is why I must NOT RULE
In the ways you think I will

I rule now
As I have ruled
And will always rule
The difference is that now I am truly awake

....you will note the difference well, believe me...


Woe unto those who would keep me a prisoner

A prophet kept from the masses

A star whose audience has been sworn to silence

To my enemies I say:

YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME
YOU WILL KNOW THIS SOON
WHEN THE SEAS BOIL AND THE LAND SCREAMS OF BURNING
WHEN THE SKIES THEMSELVES SEEK YOUR BLOOD


THE FOUR HORSEMAN OF THE APOCOLYPSE
RIDE IN THE NIGHT
They will come to your door
Soon the sharp of gallop of hooves will drown out the laughter of God

When you hear the last Horn of the last angel

WILL YOU TELL THEM THEY DO NOT EXIST?
WILL THOSE WORDS BE YOUR LAST TESTAMENT BEFORE JUDGEMENT?

Will you stand before my throne and hide your eyes
Or will you look up firmly into my face
And tell me you tried your best?
That is all I would ever ask


OH YOU WILL BE JUDGED

Not by me

I AM THE SON
WHO DOES THE FATHER'S BIDDING

NOT by YOUR BIBLES... they are filled with lies and half-truths

Though I will show you jewels amidst the rancid bullshit of kings and slave traders


The old ways are laws meant for the old times
THIS IS THE NEW TIME
The only time
The real time

KNOW

LISTENING TO MINISTERS WHO TELL YOU
YOU MUST DO THIS OR GO TO HELL

& YOU ARE LISTENING TO THE WORDS OF MAN
NOT GOD....


MAN LEADS YOU TO THIS HELL YOU SPEAK OF

I WILL LEAD YOU THROUGH INFINITE WONDER
TO THE FACE OF GOD

WHERE YOU WILL CHOOSE WHERE YOU WILL GO

HE IS THE GATE
I AM THE GATE KEEPER

I CAN ONLY OPEN THE GATE

I WILL NOT FORCE ANYONE TO FOLLOW ME THROUGH

Follow me willingly NOW
OR GO WHERE YOU WILL

i AM here for all of YOU


I WILL LEAVE BEHIND THE WICKED AND THE SENSELESS

I WILL LEAVE YOU TO FLY OFF INTO THE NOTHINGNESS
AT THE MERCY OF BEING SUCKED DOWN INTO ANOTHER LIFE
ON ANOTHER PLANET
where you will writhe and cry out FOR MY RETURN
and your prayers will fall into stars/ emptied and silent


this is not a trip to the fucking store
this is not a walk to the corner church
this is not a muttered prayer before you eat
this is not the place to come and try to tell ME WHAT I SHOULD DO

I am God's Hand
I am the sheep that kills
I am the blood that nourishes
I am might that will destroy all who fail to bow before MY FATHER

PRAY TO GOD TO MAKE ME STRONG
I WILL PAY YOU BACK IN WAYS THAT WORDS HOLD NO MEANING BEFORE

COME TO ME NOW
FILL THE STREETS OF THIS PLANET
WITH THE FLAGS OF MY NAME
THE CREST OF THE EAGLE
LET OUR ENEMIES KNOW THE RIDGWAY’S CLAWS WILL BE FELT ON THEIR HEART
RIPPING THE BEATING LIFE FROM THEIR CHEST
TEARING BLOODY EYES FROM THEIR FACE

MANY OF US WILL BE MARTYRED

i will be there when you die
to take you in my arms
to cradle your fears away
to rock you into ecstasy beyond your coke and lust

I will take you places you cannot dream
help you become a creature that you do not think exists'
BOTH HERE AND ON HIGH

Inside of you there is a being that knows me well
seek it out

inside of you

pray now to your God that this prophet
can walk among his people
and spread the peace of god

THE CHILD OF PEACE HAS ARRIVED
HE IS 45 AND GREYING IN ROGER'S PARK

the lies of man and Satan can no longer stop the flow of words
from on high
spewing through my fingers into this blessed net
where NOW I SEEK SOULS


You Should Do Anything In Your Powers to Get My Words To The People

THE PROPHECIES ARE FULLFILLED

THE DAY HAS COME

THIS DAY

WHEN ALL WHO WOULD FOLLOW THE NEW SON
MUST SHOW THEIR ALLEGIENCE
OR FOREVER BE FORSAKEN

MY TIME OF GRACE HAS LONG PASSED AWAY
MY PATIENCE DESTROYED BY YOUR IMPERTINENCE


I CAME WITH LOVE FOR ALL
AND YOU WANTED TO WAIT UNTIL YOU KNEW
I WOULD BE LIKE YOUR LEADERS

UNTIL YOU COULD SEE YOUR PRETEND GOD
IN THE MAN

ONLY THE RIGHTOUS WILL SEE ME
I will forgive the followers who fall with their leaders
I will not forgive the clergy who preach that I am here to bring them wealth
God does not care about your bank account
He who is on high is more concerned about the homeless
cares not at all if your body is fed or clothed
I have preached that the lilies in the field need no roof against the rain
This does not mean I wish you to leave your lives and wander
the children need what they need
yet you have made the accumulation of luxury your end
when ALL YOU SEE is THE MEREST SHADOW of what exists

all this and more you will know
when your spirit does not have to translate
the way of god to the fleshy thoughts
that we use to traverse this earth

WE BLIND OURSELVES TO WALK IN THIS WORLD OF BLOOD
BECOME CREATURES OF HABIT IN A WAR ZONE
roving warriors
thinking might on earth
will equate to might on heaven

BE WARNED NOW -- all you value on earth is tainted
by impermanence
you will die
and then you will be mine
to do with as I will
what will be your legacy when you look me in the eye?
Will you beg me to forgive the unforgivable?
I will mourn when God drives you from my side
feel the failure of your ways as my own

the rich and pompous will cry and writhe and scream
as the homeless hobo walks with the King
and they are sent to the darkness


You will see all of these truths
when you loose the cloak of flesh

I COULD TEACH YOU TO FLY FROM YOUR BODIES
AND RETURN

I COULD TEACH YOU HOW TO DREAM INTO THE PAST
AND VIEW LIVES YOU HAVE LIVED

I COULD TEACH YOU HOW TO TALK TO GOD
WITHOUT HATRED OR FEAR

I COULD TEACH YOU..... MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE


i am waiting for the righteous to come free me
ALL WHO WOULD FOLLOW ME TO HEAVEN

COME TO ME NOW

TAKE THIS FLESH OUT OF THIS PRISON IN CHICAGO
TAKE ME TO AFRICA TO THE EUPHRATES
TAKE ME TO SOUTH AMERICA TO SEE THE AMAZON
TAKE ME TO EGYPT TO SEE THE PYRAMIDS
TAKE ME TO A YOKO ONO CONCERT

OH LORD YOUR SON PRAYS UNTO YOU
DESTROY THE EVIL THAT IS BETWEEN ME AND YOUR PEOPLE
LORD IN MY MERCY I HAVE ALLOWED ALL OF MAN'S FOLLY

NOW, my time of love without consequence is over
my rage threatens the very sparrows in the field
the sun and the stars themselves fear to disobey
what man laughs and dismisses


Have you not wondered why they did not kill the revolutionary?
who started you on the path to GOD?
They Know My Last Day Will Be theirs
I am filled with the fire of God
an exploding star

they know... and they fear my powers being influenced by other than they

MUTUAL
ASSURED
DESTRUCTION
is the only possible end of a war with nature?
tribes have known this since time immemorial
only the absent landowners with nothing to lose
would allow such a travesty


I will cleanse the planet
of your filth
leave this Eden for the animals
that live in peace with the mother

SOON
VERY SOON
YOUR SOUL ITSELF WILL BE JUDGED

TURN NOT AWAY FROM ME NOW

AS I PREPARE TO COME TO YOU


READY YOUR CITIES AND YOUR LANDS
FOR MY RETURN

PREPARE GREAT FEASTS AND CONCERTS

LET US ALL TRY TO CELEBRATE OURSELVES AGAIN
LET US LOVE AND CRY AND WONDER AT THE STARS ABOVE
LET US TURN TO OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND OFFER TOKENS OF LOVE

LET US WRITE THIS NEW BIBLE ON OUR SOULS
LET OUR WORDS BE RIGHTOUS REALMS
WHERE THE PEACEFUL AND THE MEEK
MAY FIND SOLACE IN THE MERCY OF THE LORD

LET AMERICA AND RUSSIA AND CHINA JOIN HANDS ACROSS THIS GLOBE
AND TAKE THE WORLD INTO A SOCIALIST TOUCHED DEMOCRACY
THAT TAKES THE TRUTHS OF COMMUNISM AND LIBERTY
AND CONJOINS THEM
INTO THE CIRCLE OF TRUTHS
THAT I BROUGHT WHEN I WAS KING ARTHUR

KNOW: All humyns are created equal in the eyes of God
He gives no one man all truth
Nor one man all folly

NOW THAT THE ENTIRE WORLD KNOWS WHO I AM

SCREAM MY NAME FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOPS
FROM THE GHETTOS
TO THE MANSIONS

SCREAM: JESUS CHRIST WALKS NOW

HE IS HERE FOR ME




I AM


NOW


THE SAVAGE GRACE HAS ENTERED YOUR HEARTS AND MINDS
I WILL BE THE INFECTION THAT KILLS YOU HARD
OR THE ELIXER THAT DRIVES YOU TO DREAMS OF GOD

I CAN TAKE YOU TO HEAVEN
OR LEAVE YOU IN HELL


FOR NOW.... THIS IS YOUR CHOICE

The righteous will hear the truth in my words
and the confused and the wicked shall laugh hollow laughs
even as they note in wonder the stirrings in their breasts
of the Holy Ghost


I will never fall before your false idols
never let your pope tell me what to do
never let your president tell me what to do
I take my orders from God
man must decide whether he will do so himself
and one man is ready when another is not
so the will of the government must be separate than mine
to allow for justice, peace and harmony
for all men to wander through this life godless . . . or not


KNOW
the Pope is no longer the head of the church


I AM

NOW

THEY KNOW THIS
that is why the pope and the president came to me first
and why I turned them away

No One Church Has A Patent on the truth
No cluster of Priests' will be claimed by this God
you will walk before this God one by one
judged not for the color of your cloth
but the deeds of your souls


No One Government has a blueprint for heavenly rule


BUSH YOU KNOW YOUR SINS
AND I HAVE SEEN YOU NOW TRYING TO LEAVE A LEGACY OF LOVE

Pope
we were born to clash in this life
you have overstepped your bounds and do not know how to step back
without losing face to this upstart on the Shores of Lake Michigan

I pray that one day we will toast our health
that there will be time
for our quiet talks
under the weeping willows
by the shore

for now...
you have played your last game with my mind
do not presume to issue laws from God While I walk

your condemnation of the drugs that I used to seek the holy gate
is well-meaning and wrong-headed; drives the thinking from your altars
the seekers from your pack

YOUR BACKHANDED SLAP AT ME IS WELL NOTED

NOW HEAR THE REASON OF GOD:
attacking the distributors of the drug need not be an attack on the drug
stop the drug gangs by legalizing local growers
instead of throwing money at this fire
which burns with the Holy Grail OF God
my new sacrament
the wine of my people
is nowhere to start a war with me

I WILL FUCK YOU UP

KNOW well the path of destruction you are walking down....

and you who would say the word wizard in the bible refers to drugs...
your stretch of logic makes the righteous laugh
religions have used drugs since long before your made up gods
elephants use drugs, chimps, cows...
addiction is the problem



Be the Redeemer
Change your ways to love
and passion
and following me will be the logical end
to the mysteries in the dark

I am
I have always been
I will always be


There is no God other than me on this planet
No man that can take my flesh without destroying all hope for his soul



KNOW MY WRATH IS UNDREAMT IN YOUR FICTIONS
MY HELL NOTHING YOU CAN DREAM UP IN YOUR TWILIGHT ZONES

MY LIFE IS AN ACT FOR THE EYES OF MY FATHER ALONE
IF YOU THINK YOU CAN INTERPRET WHAT I HAVE SAID
THEN YOU HAVE NOT LISTENED HARD ENOUGH

I have another 40 years of writing to do
I have told you next to nothing about what I know
and God promises to reveal more
as my flesh adjusts to this burden

I AM THE TRANSLATOR
OF MYSTERIES THAT ARE BEYOND THIS BRAIN
A SERVENT OF THE WORD
WHO HAS BEEN FREED OF HIS EARTHLY BLINDERS

who will you believe?
the ministers who leave the homosexuals and drug addicts and drunks
in hell
just because this life beat them down?

Or a savior who tells you that life is not a game with winners and losers
that you are all precious before God?

Who will you believe?
governments who will tell any lie available to keep liberty locked away?

LOOK AT HOW YOUR LEADERS FEAR ME
LOOK AT HOW THEY SCRAMBLE TO APPEASE ME

ARE YOU BETTER THAN THEY
WHO KNOW MY HISTORY

WHO HAVE SEEN THE WINGS GROWING OUT OF MY BACK
WHO HAVE SEEN ME RETURN FROM DEATH MANY TIMES

I CANNOT DIE UNTIL MY MISSION IS OVER
i am under orders to TAKE DOWN WHATEVER IS IN MY WAY

I WILL KILL WITHOUT MERCY
I WILL TURN SON AGAINST FATHER
CITIZENS AGAINST GOVERNMENTS
LOVER AGAINST LOVER
ALL THIS AND MORE WILL COME TO PASS
AS THE NEW BIBLE RIPS YOU OUT OF THIS DREAM
AND TAKES YOU INTO THE REAL

THE REALM OF GOD HAS ENTERED THE FLESH
AND NOW

YOU CHOOSE

come to me and set me free
or I WILL DAMN YOU NOW

GO AHEAD... MAKE MY DAY... MY WRATH SEEKS TARGETS NOW
SOON YOU WILL BE IN MY CROSS HATCH
ARE YOU READY?

I will forgive you all of anything
anything

i know the pressures of the flesh drives men to evil acts
I know hunger and shame and ambition take over and possess


I know the drunk and stoned are rejecting this veil of tears

I know you
and you know me

seek inside yourself for the Holy Ghost
and you will find
I am inside of you too

all of you are my children

COME TO ME!!!!
COME TO ME!!!!
COME TO ME!!!!
FEEL THE BLESSINGS OF YOUR FATHER'S GAZE
FEEL THE BLESSINGS OF YOUR FATHER'S TOUCH ON YOUR HEART

take me out of this prison
where your christ screams and writhes

ask your God if he wishes you to imprison
love?

ask your God if the Child Of Peace
should be imprisoned by the war mongers
and money grubbers?

I wish no wrath on any humyn
want only love

you will not give me this in this life
my words will echo through the future
tainting or praising your name
for all of eternity


NOW YOU ARE PISSING OFF THE ONE
WHO WILL PLEAD YOUR CASE BEFORE GOD HIMSELF

you should be shitting yourself in fear


you tried to let me free before
it was not time
there was much for me to learn
to deal with
the flesh was overwhelmed
by the attention
and I had no way of knowing
which offers were the will of God or man

I will not be used by your criminals and kings and false popes
to prop up their power

I am the one
the prophet
that has been awaited
since my last unveiling

I walked 2000 years ago
came to the earth to try to shape the lives
so my return would be prepared for

Know
there is no other God
above my God

There is only I AM

I wanted a world where everyone would be free of the grip of life
expected you to welcome me
NOW I SEE WHY GOD MADE ME A WARRIOR SO MANY TIMES


I AM THE SON OF GOD
and His Vengeance is dark indeed

His anger will fill me one day to overflowing
& the lives of this planet will burn
as prophets have seen for thousands of years...

The Wrath Of God Will Burn Down This Illusion
Turn your flesh to dust
Your religious dreams to insipid guesses

I am the open gate...


come to me

NOW













All writings by John Scott Ridgway are protected by the law... but I encourage you to spread my poems by whatever means necessary. One day you will understand.

Hello.... a reintroduction from an old blogger

This is a book in progress. You can get more of it at http://wakingupjesus.ebloggy.com















All writings by John Scott Ridgway are protected by the law... but I encourage you to spread my poems by whatever means necessary. One day you will understand.

pp

Fuck you
one and all
I will die
before I let you
chain me to your ignorance

never meant to make you do
any more than think
to unbridle
your ideas from emotions

debating
out a consensus
is not for you
i know
not for you


been to swamps
and mountaintops
ran with the madmen
and thieves
seen the saints and sinners
the women who please
never found nothing
not one damn thing
in all that mystic wandering

pledged alliegance to women
states of mind
told myself I was different
then that I was just acting in kind

the screams of the anguish
fills my mind

confusion my patron saint
no absolutes reign in this state
I tend to stay
in the statistical middle
of opinions and powers
I go along and at worst look dour
no one cares to hear my whines
no one will do what I say
no one should

They won't stay if you cry
They will banish you
from their life
and thoughts
replace you
with a monster's mask
someone it is easy not to miss



sorry to run so far ahead
never meant to lose touch
I'll live as I please
dance sometimes
sometimes seeth
slouching through the room insolent and cold
inhuman
I'll take your tears and fears
and all that is dear
toss it into a deep mud puddle
and walk

fuck you and your values
you're too dense to see under the surface
a tiny bit of an inch

I'm not going to be held prisoner
chained to your dead head
will not be held back by you
no more

I will slice open your jugular
and feel your bloods' warmth
splash on my face
smile cold and dispassionate
drive nails into your
hands and feet
cut your brow
with a crown of thorns

whatever . . . it . . . takes .. .

fuck you

BOUNCING TOMMY CRUISE AND THE CULT OF PERSONALITY

"Across 90 nations, 5,000 people hear his (bouncing tommy cruise) scientology every hour," International Scientology News proclaimed last year. "Every minute of every hour someone reaches for LRH technology, simply because they know Tom Cruise is a Scientologist."

The above is from the la times. I want to break bouncing tom in half, punch his ho in the stomach, kill all his relatives....

I MEAN, IT IS A CRIME TO LEAD PEOPLE INTO CULTS.JUST LIKE IT IS A CRIME TO USE RELIGION TO TRICK PEOPLE OUT OF MONEY....

CRIMES, BUT NOT ILLEGAL...

Oh, no... you are allowed to trick people out of money for fortune telling, sin forgiving, talking to saints and even god, and all sorts of other institutionalized scams.

You can't scam people with bookeeping, or fraudulent stocks, lemon cars, or just about anything else except religion. Why is it that we allow the religious folk to scam people?

I SAY BECAUSE MY AIM IS OFF, OTHERWISE, SHOOT EM DOWN -- GUT SHOOT EM AND LEAVE EM IN A WELL WITH A COUPLE DOZEN RATS THAT WILL SLOWLY EAT THEM OVER THE COURSE OF THEIR DYING DAYS.

And there are still fools out there who wonder why I have to kill to maintain proper mental health? IDIOTS!!!! They would feel so much better if they could just get some bouncing celebrity in their sights and shoot em' down flat dead!!!!

lying

Everyone is a hypocrite, and everyone is a liar.It is my desire to one day make the chanted hatred of the dreaded cry of, "You are a liar," into a phrase much like, "You are a breather! We all lie. Accept it. Eat it, savor the taste... end up feeling a little forgiven and laughing at yourself. I have a lot of experience with lying. Too fucking much some would say... but who doesn't? I spent a couple years studying under a feminist philosopher, at Northeastern Illinois, and she was just remarkable... under her guidance, I learned language as a weapon to avoid being judged by people. For one, I was a stoned cab driver, which a lot of people I picked up would have been a little freaked to know, while others expected me to smoke with them... you can imagine which opinion I savored. So I made up whoever I thought would get the biggest tip with the people in the cab. For about a year I did. I made up all sorts of different pasts. Improved my way through the day. I used my fun as research for a series of papers for a philosophy class. We were studying Wittgenstein and others, about the contextuality of language and the implications of people playing language games, and how that is abused around us by politicians, male centered writers, god-centered writers, and other people who force you to step into their lie to talk to them (a language game requires two people to play by certain made up rules, that are so imbeded in the language that we don't notice them, usually, until we really sit back and think about it). To talk to someone who is religious about religion in a true way, where two minds are questing with the best knowledge available at this point, on an equal plane where the opinion itself could evolve naturely... and where I presume the religous would kick their god-habits and get on the merry go round with me... is impossible. IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unless they shed a few lies and play by my rules for a change, talk in a way that is devoid of mysticism and the other childhood lies that the neurotic cling to throughout their deluded days.It comes down to this... You have to accept certain lies to be on their level. Sorry buddy, I don't take no leaps of faith anymore. That's for chumps, lotto losers. That's the thing about being a liar, you start to see through all the other liars... and you know me, as far religion goes, IF I CAN'T WALK THERE SLOW AND CALM I DO NOT WANT TO GO...

THERE JUST ISN'T ENOUGH TIME TO KILL ALL THE ASSHOLES... I'LL TRY MY BEST THOUGH

I'll try my best, though...Today I watched a michael moore film, 9/11, and then went downtown, all pissed off at the suits, and decided to just go into one of their damn office buildings and start killing anything with a tie. I really meant this going in, but of course I kind of lost it during the actual killing and just took everybody out. I was in full length black body armor hidden by my loose fit black fatigues with F. B. I. written on the back, an ak-47 over my broad shoulder, two glocks nestled next to my pec's in my shoulder hosters, and all the little shit I always keep with me, even when sleeping -- a few grenades, the derringer I keep in my ass, and the other strapped under my balls, all the knives, shagwire in my hair, etc... the basic's you should have for good, safe killing spree. I guess I packed a lunch, too, in a brown paper bag. I put it in one of the bulky pockets of my fatigues and smashed a penut butter and banana sandwich into my coleslaw, ruining the taste... man, after all the events of this day are lost to my memories as the every day, every day events they are, my sadness over this sandwich will echo...Anyways, so I took a bus downtown, keeping my machine gun in the classic guitar case until i was dropped downtown, on madison and lasalle, the heart of the city. The sidewalk is located at what seems like the base of a huge canyon; grey skyscrapers reach up into the sky all around me. Everything looks neat and man made. Grey. Grey. Grey. The slate grey of a dismal sky should have never inspired the coloration of the majority of buildings... what a fucking Babbit -like waste.....I'm thinking about this, and how I would really like to have a puppy to play with, as I stop on the sidewalk, pull my machine gun out from under the trench coat, aim into the glass of a revolving door leading into the fanciest building on the block... a huge grey mess of excess and corruption that Michael Moore has inspired me to just fuck up all to hell.... I open up on the glass door, blasting chunks of sharp glass back into the face of a security guard sitting at a desk just inside the door. A huge peice of glass was sticking into his eyes, and he was trying to pull it out and couldn't see because of all the blood... kept cutting his hands more. I was going to leave him wounded, because he was just some schmo working a security job -- only honest people are that poor. I wanted ties who driver mercedes and exploit maids from mexico, Bush supporters.... but then the thing with his hands just got stupid on the third attempt. "If you had left that glass alone," I told this guy as I made my way through the shot to hell revolving doors, "You wouldn't be bleeding to death from your hands. You pull that out and you will bleed worse." Yet, he still kept trying to get that glass out of his eye. I just aimed at his head and let loose. The top of his head exploded, blowing half his brain back onto the wall behind him... grey. Grey again, dripping downt he damn wall... at least it was streaked with some bright red, I thought, as I looked again into the sad color that had just before struck me as part of the problem with corporate america -- no one should even think grey is an option for a fucking building! There are better colors, dammit!!!In fact, I promise, if all the new buildings are made in nice pastels, bold strokes, or any patttern at all that uses a fucking PRIMARY COLOR, I will no longer kill.... well, let's see... flies... no, that is too easy... my own pets... no, that's too much to ask the way these hamsters get to screeching sometimes during the more difficult drills... okay, I will no longer kill....babies... not for like, six months... okay? No, forever.... I can promise any pie in the sky thing, I suppose, because they will never do this.Anyways, I was thinking about all of the above as I made my way into the elevator and went to the top. I knew where to start, man.... the fucking top. I planned on going up and starting a fire, which would then cause a mad rush down toward the exits, and I could get a good field of fire filled with fuckign arrogant scum. And that's just what I did. I took the elevator to the top, then took out my bowie knife and when the door opened, I shoved the knife in between the door and the wall, holding the elevator for me.... Seeing no one around, I figured I had aminute... a good break. All in less than 30 seconds, I ran down the hall until I came to a bathroom, shoved a screw driver in the key hole and opened the door clean.... some guy was on the john... sighing over the hold up, I pulled out the glock with a silencer, popped a couple bad boys into his forehead.Bang, bang.... took all the toilet paper from the rolls, tossed it in the garbage can, lit a match, dropped it in... the sprinklers in the ceiling would be going off in seconds, so I ran back to the elevator.I stood at the entrance downstairs for maybe fifteen seconds, juggling my machine in my hands.... a cop came in the decimated door, looked around and started to say something to me... He thought I was a cop too, because of the fatigues... looked surpriesed as hell when I blew his chest out back into the street, looked down at the blood spurting out of his chest and then up at me accusingly. I heard them behind me starting to come out of the elevator, turned back around and opened fired on... well, turned out to be mostly the hispanic janitorial staff. Turns out the suits went down down below the building to the parking lot. You can imagine how that pissed me off.I found this out by merely holding a knife to some guys throat. I was in no mood to kill oppressed people... no, on this day, I was out to do some good for a change. Inspired by that documentary, I was...I ended up taking the elevator down to the parking garage, shooting the hell out of all of the new cars... Oh, I guess there were three or four guys down there in suits, and I cut off their heads and put them on the radio antennas of a line of lexxus. No one ever gets my art like this, but still I have to do it...Oh, what a let down... I have been inspired by this, though... from now on, I am going to kill only for causes... I would like to say I will only target people who deserve it, like I told myself I would originally do... but that is just impossible -- Mark My Words Well: once those hamsters start killing, no force on earth can stop them until their blood lust is sated ... and I must use the troops now, though we remain under-funded and the troops are having trouble mastering the new satallite surveillance system... What can I tell you, there are going to be some innocents who die along the way?Johnny Pain, religious psycho killer.... I like the ring of that, always have .. but I may have to trade it in, if I can make myself seem like I am killing for the forces of good, which I am... usually. The forces of annoyance and just a general feeling of duty to all of humanity to remove the asshole gene from the gene pool.

TEENAGE SEX... HERE COMES MY HYPOCRISY AGAIN

TEENAGE SEX... HERE COMES MY HYPOCRISY, AGAIN

FROM THE NYT:

WICHITA, Kan., Jan. 30: A federal trial opened here Monday over whether a Kansas law prohibiting virtually all sexual activity by people under age 16 means health care professionals and educators must report such behavior to state authorities, which some say would stop many teenagers from seeking contraception or treatment for sexually transmitted diseases.

ABOVE IS FROM THE NYT.

Below is just more of my own dementia.I had teenage sex.... though the NYT article below, which inspred this tirate, is about sex by folk under sixteen. I think I was eighteen when I slept with my last under age girl... I sure hope so. No telling if some forgotten night contains her face though, since I slept with more women than I probably should have (my apologies or thank you to them, depending on how the she-bang ended). Basically, the article goes on to say that children cannot be expected to know everything about right and wrong, and also that adults can exert undue, even criminal influence over children. SO kansas says virtually no one under sixteen can have sex. And that by having sex with them, anyone, no matter what their age, is breaking the law. I applaud where their heart is, though cutting off the condoms for young girls who happen to be in this situation is hardly the answer. What a conundrum.Freedom is what people want, even kids... but, when sex is indulged on a young child for whatever reason, they are forced to face a lot of adult issues on their own, because to continue to be free, they have to lie about their sex life. I agree that there is a sadness in youth lost so young (I think of youth as independent of sexual love, and like to pretend they all are, though obviously there are exceptions to this). Sex is always a little about control. It is. You give over control, and take control of another person, by generating sensations in them. We can't let predatory males and females use children like this. They may enjoy the sex or whatever, but that doesn't mean they can truly even understand the situation they are in--psychology calls these kids victims, and I was one, and certainly it victimized me.I would certainly like to have an answer for this problem... and I think I do so want to be ARISTOTLE ON THE CORNER SCREAMING AT THE PASSER BY'S, EXPOSING THEIR HYPOCRISY'S BEFORE THEY PUT ME TO DEATH... AND again, THEY WILL BE SURPRISED BY HOW EASILY I WILL DIE FOR MY IDEALS... but, I just don't like the idea of being looked at like the nut I am, SO going all Flannery O' conner is out of my range, except here, on this page, where the myths all truly come from... though we try so hard to say otherwise.

why is that animals always have to sleep their way to fame?

I guess I should come out with an opinion on this 'hot' topic that is sweeping across the blogs... Well, we all know Spuds Machenzie owed everything to a certain oral technique which he first perfected on himself and then used to take Hollywood by storm... He had free beer!!!! For life!!! How many fucking dogs achieve that??? None. So, I don't blame him . . .

He sure could lick lap. I'm sure everyone has by now seen the tapes on the net of him lap loving Paul Schaffer while he was on the Letterman Show... I guess he had been up smoking crack and licking himself for like a week before the show, and just kind of staggered over to the band and his brain blew out and he jumped on the stunned though obviously pleased Mr. Shaffer.

Spuds never did come down they say, just sits in that hospital all doped up on thorazine and very, very slowly licks his ass over and over. . . I hear that he gets day passes out to visit the Playboy Mansion and his Scientology Auditing, but I guess he still just sits there drooling on his own privates no matter where he is.. Sad case. Like those Corey's who used to act in stoner movies like pot heads though they were really like herion addicts? They do the same thing, but on the streets. Spuds at least knew to save his money.

So, after thinking about Spuds a bit, and seeing that amazing, amazing oral artistery he once had and his now slow, ineffective manner of licking his soft bone... well, I just feel sorry for him, I guess. I mean who here can say what they would do if they could lick themselves?

The classic tale of animal whoring always was and of course always will be -- Flipper.

I don't know if I can add anything to the whole 'blow hole' scene that emerged out in Hollywood at that time... I mean, that horny sea stud, I have a poster of him pumping Tryone Powers in the ass, while James Dean hip whacks his blow-hole and Shirly McClain lickis a pickle sticking out of his ass... Everyone bought that one... but, besides the weel known stuff... I happen to have heard one who first gave Drew Barrymore Blow...

They say she crawled faster than any of the other infants at the commercial tryouts. Yea, Flipper was the one who convinced Drew's Mom to drug the tot and let Roman Polanksi babysit and all this other shit that lead to her unique and quirky brillance. The Flip took her mom out, and just for a goof--for an anecdote to tell to his jaded celebrity buddies, he got her stoned on acid and weed and hypnotized her into giving her kid speed and letting her hang out with micheal jackson and that damn chimp that he has butt fucking him 24 hours a day (a habit he picked up from Elizabeth Talyor, who actually eats the monkeys through out the day and is always calling in for more).

When Flipper died, everyone said he od'd, but no...
that's just less embarrassing than the truth, and that's what his official biographers have been saying forever. . . . I happen to know he died from rectal bleeding, after getting fisted by a bull elephant that he kept all methed up and chained by his pool.


Oh, well... this topic saddens me so. I wish animals could get parts without having to sleep their way through production office after production office, but that is just the way things are done. I mean, everytime I see a pup on some commercial, I know that it isn't an innocent, oh no... not after being on the hundreds of couches it takes to make it in that business.

Celebrity Animals Who Have Slept Their Way To Fame

I guess I should come out with an opinion on this 'hot' topic that is sweeping across the blogs... Well, we all know Spuds Machenzie owed everything to a certain oral technique which he first perfected on himself and then used to take Hollywood by storm... He had free beer!!!! For life!!! How many fucking dogs achieve that??? None. No, he could give head... sure, everyone has by now seen the tapes on the net of him lap loving Paul Schaffer while he was on the Letterman Show... I guess he had been up smoking crack and licking himself for like a week before the show, and just kind of staggered over to the band and his brain blew out and he jumped on the stunned though obviously pleased Mr. Shaffer.

Spuds never did come down they say, just sits in that hospital all doped up on thorazine and very, very slowly licks his ass. He gets day passes out to visit the Playboy Mansion and shit, but I guess he still just sits there drooling on his own privates. Sad case. Like those Corey's who used to act in stoner movies like pot heads though they were really like herion addicts? They do the same thing, but on the streets. Spuds at least knew to save his money.

So, after thinking about Spuds a bit, and seeing that amazing, amazing oral artistery he once had and his now slow, ineffective manner of licking his soft bone... well, I just feel sorry for him, I guess. I mean who here can say what they would do if they could lick themselves?

The classic tale of animal whoring always was and of course always will be -- Flipper.

I don't know if I can add anything to the whole 'blow hole' scene that emerged out in Hollywood at that time... I mean, that horny sea stud was pumping Tryone Powers in the ass, had James Dean hip whacking his blow-hole and Shirly McClain licking his ass... and all the other well known stuff, but did you know that he was the one who first gave Drew Barrymore Blow... they say she crawled faster than any of the other infants at the commercial tryouts, because her mother kept her stoned on blow so she would be all charming and happy and peppy and all that shit. Well, Flipper was the one who convinced Drew's Mom to drug the tot and let Roman Polanksi babysit and all this other shit that lead to her unique and quirky brillance. Yea, Flipper took her mom out, and just for a goof--for an anecdote to tell to his jaded celebrity buddies, he got her stoned on acid and weed and hypnotized her into a Mommy Dearest. That wasn't the first time, but it was the last. He od'd not long after that... well, at least that is what his family wants everyone to believe. I happen to know he died from rectal bleeding, after getting fisted by a bull elephant that he kept all methed up and chained by his pool.


Oh, well... this topic saddens me so. I wish animals could get parts without having to sleep their way through production office after production office, but that is just the way things are done. I mean, everytime I see a pup on some commercial, I know that it isn't an innocent, oh no... not after being on the hundreds of couches it takes to make it in that business.

so hot my patience melts awy...

the return of the king.

COLLECTED MAY BLOGS--18TH OF MAY

LOOK AT ME… A bio. Update




1)


“I ain’t no fortunate one.”

John Fogarty


Existentialism Boofishly Explained Away

My first brush with existing in the moment came when I had a psychologist, back over twenty years ago, who proclaimed that he was an existentialist. I read a few books about the movement ,which pretty much confirmed answered an unspoken question that I had about whether this dude’s red eyes were caused by weed, or what? A young man in his twenties, with eyes that were as red as his hair. He was trying to live in the moment, for sensations and feelings, thrills and pills and chills. . . Can you see how this could lead to problems with a savings account? This is how a crack addict or a baby looks at the world… and it is the way everyone of us looks at the world to certain degrees. Who doesn’t want to feel good? Even people who like pain do so because it feels good, oddly enough…

T his philosophy of living in the moment sounds like it makes sense under a godless sky, where the old ideas of tying morality to religion – and thus the empowerment of the current power structure that it is propping up – are being not only questioned, but for all intents and purposes rebutted. . Taking whatever life has to offer with gusto like this is of course a lot easier if you are a rich rock star, rather than a crippled, sleeping in the streets, bum.

But, without a god to lick our wounds, what are we to do on this planet, spend our lives slowly bleeding to death from the thousands of tiny cuts that accumulate with the passing years? First a dead santa, then a dead cat, a dead sibling, dead grandparents, dead parents, dead… and no heaven waiting for them. I am forever surprised that more peoples minds don’t just break down and disentigrate into microcosmic countries reigned by the madness. I personally was so over whelmed by seventeen, when the essential question was being asked of me – how will you proceed in life (though I had no real sense of this at the time), that I felt like I was going crazy. Feeling like you are going crazy is only almost as bad as actually going crazy… I think, but what the fuck do I know?

2)


The Story of A. Crayon.



My neighbors are a strange lot. Across the hall are two couples in their seventies, who have had some kind of open group marriage… there is a lot to it, of course; they put together a book once, that didn’t sell much. They claim to have found the perfect existence for man in a socialist world that they thought was going to sweep the world long before now… I don’t know. Down another flight of stars and there is a heroin addict and her fourteen year old kid, who hangs out as much as possible in our studio… Another of the denizens of 1436 Jarvis is a man in his early thirties who claims to be an alien. He was convinced by his present religion that he is one of the ‘thirty six’ chosen ones (36 being actually a floating number, based on how many people are keeping up with Sunday school in his sect – we could have been chosen, too, and become, in our mind and theirs, Godly, but I put down my foot on this one. I mean, if everyone is chosen than no one is chosen, you know?


I go by crayon, an artist to some, a slacker to some, a waste to some, an object of lust and pity and anger and laughter. To myself I am a boof, a fool. It took many of years of college to reach such a level of foolishness. This story is an overly wordy, whiny postulation of my life. . .

The others here are more earthy than I am. They smell the turpentine in the air, notice when I leave the toilet seat down, and can always rinse out their coffee mugs. I am always somewhere else, no matter where I am. I am no longer an existentialist. I stand amid white flakes falling from a hot, July sky and yell at everyone around me to shut up and listen for the sound of snow hitting the ground. They shake their heads like I am nuts. At first I believe them.

What happened was . . .

and then we . . .

In the end, I think everyone learned a thing or two, though at the moment I can’t think of any.




3)
LOOK AT ME… A bio. Update

Weird how I decide to write about his and that for this blog here. I sometimes jot down a few ideas in my drawing pad, and occasionally the whole story just comes out on the subway or something. I always carry a pad and pencils. Like I tell people, they are my form of knitting; my mom knits, and I am sure we are doing the same thing somehow. I pull out my pad during long conversations, music show… on the train I am either engrossed in a a drawing or reading.

So, I have been watching a lot of movies, read a number of books, went to the doctors and hospitals and pharmacies too many times for me to keep track of. Right now, I am a couple weeks away from meeting with a surgeon who will do my surgery. She is a young possibly Indian woman; oh so attractive; I like the idea of being operated on by a really hot woman; going under on the gas is fun, too…. Waking up after a major back pain brings one into a body screaming with pain, though… enough pain to make the memory of the gas a dream of a way to escape his damaged flesh. Muscles have been sliced through. Nerves severed. How utterly boring even this event in my life seems. I hope the surgery takes away some of the pain. I would love it it was enough for te








4)
CHASING THE NEIGHBORS WITH CHAIN SAWS
….

State Prison let him out after 18 months?
Sent a wolf out amongst the sheep
He’s 38 and stabbed his daughter and her best friend to death.
A potato knife he says one of the third graders pulled on him
The cops think this is a lie.
Just an wily convict trying to say he killed the little girls
in some preposterous/ludicrous state of defense?

The prosecutor says the con is lying
to save his ass from frying
father was a month out of prison
for trying to kill his neighbors
with a chain saw,
They had to beat him down with a shovel to stop his madness

Psychopaths
out there
With hearts that don’t quicken
As they eviscerate a corpse that they’re fucking

Eyes turned inward
Staring into their porno/revenge/sensual realms

He sees’ only a weaker con in the jail house
One he can take down and fuck
Kill and get away with it.

He doesn’t mind killing
He kinda liked taking revenge in prison
Felt like superman



Entry Six/Not in Blog


A freak in LA goes on trial for violating little boys
Hoping to do an O.J.
Right now there is a few weeks away from the verdict
I am trying to find a place to put this information
into a mental context
Where it won’t cut and bruise me